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Son of Anarchist
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Son of Anarchist
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While people are soiling themselves hard over a bunch of market-tested pretty boys singing about dancing in the United Nations, a true hero goes unnoticed. If you can spare a signature, please help us build a statue that will give honor and recognition to the person that killed Hitler.

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brutally Kamphausened
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brutally Kamphausened
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.

Is this a gag?
The person who killed Hitler... is Adolf Hitler. Him and his mistress Eva Braun both took cynanide pills in his Berlin bunker quarters, and then he shot himself. A high-level Nazi officer then took their bodies outside above ground and burned them.

There are some who say that it was a Hitler double, and that Hitler remained alive at the end of the war and fled to South America. National Geographic channel actually had a show called Hunting Hitler that speculated the various escape routes out of his Berlin Bunker that he could have escaped through, and the residual evidence of these escape routes that still exist. It ran 3 seasons.

Or, y'know, Hitler and other Nazis fled to Antarctica, where they built an armada of aircraft using UFO technology they stole from crashed aliens, to conquer the world with a Fourth Reich. Hey, it could happen.




Or from the Russians and other nations, I've seen other documentaries, where they examined the burned remains outside his Berlin Bunker, and compared them with dental records, and confirmed that it was, beyond question, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun whose charred remains they found.

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Son of Anarchist
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Son of Anarchist
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Originally Posted by Wonder Boy
.

The person who killed Hitler... is Adolf Hitler.

Whoever this Adolf Hitler is, he deserves to be recognized more for the heroic act of killing Hitler.

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brutally Kamphausened
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What happened to Mussolini, where he was lynched and his body mutilated and whacked at like a pinata, and then hung in a public square, was something Hitler observed and didn't want to happen to him. That's why he committed suicide, and instructed his subordinates to burn his and Evan Braun's bodies, so they couldn't be defaced, even if dead already, in a similar spectacle. I'm surprised after both were burned there was enough intact to identify Hitler's body by medical and dental records.

Hitler wouldn't have lived much longer anyway, in several filmed appearances he his hands shook with evident advanced Parkinson's disease. He also ripped his body up with stimulants to keep him going, and depressants to make him sleep. Partly explaining his erratic behavior and paranoia.

I read a book by one historian that detailed all the pivotal moments where Hitler could have played his cards differently and won the war. In each case after the war's official beginning, his own decisions over the more calculated strategies of his generals, went badly for him (slowing the advance at Dunkirk, not seizing the Suez canal and closing off the Mediterranean, delay of the Russian offensive so that it went into winter where the Russians had all the advantages, stubborn refusal to allow a tactical retreat at Stalingrade, another all-out frontal assault at the battle of Kursk that the enemy was ready for and anticipated, etc.)
Hitler in the early pre-World War II years exploited weaknesses and attacked vulnerable points with minimal use of forces. But after the war officially began, Hitler turned to all-out frontal assaults that wasted men and resources. Hitler could have befriended similarly anti-semitic Syria and Iran, and had oil sources outside the range of allied bombing, and also had so much of Russia's border exposed to German invasion from all sides that he could have forced Russia to surrender without a war ever being fought. Instead he went the unwise frontal assault route.

Hitler also had digestive problems his whole life, that he was medically treated for, and was prone to horrible acid farts.
His secret weapon!


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