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#1049512 2009-03-31 1:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049513 2009-03-31 1:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
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Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Chat with strangers!


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049514 2009-03-31 1:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
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Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
So far I've been able to scare four people off within six IMs.


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049515 2009-03-31 2:29 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 23,089
The Once, and Future Cunt
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The Once, and Future Cunt
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 23,089
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hi
You: Where are you from?
Stranger: ny you?
You: Pelican Bay
Stranger: weres that
You: It's a prison in California
Stranger: D;
You: I'm allowed 45 minutes of internet a day.
Stranger: why are you in prison?
You: I was intoxicated and had sex with a public statue.
Stranger: wtf looooooooool
You:
It was winter and I froze to it.
Stranger: lying ass lol
You: They had to call an ambulance
Stranger: and why would they send you to prison lmfao
You: I never paid the fine
Stranger: lol u would not
Stranger: how long you have to stay?
You: I'm doing thirty days
You: It was a small statue
Stranger: wow
Stranger: and how old r u lol?l
You: in oregon they charge you with statue rape by size of the victim.
You: I mean California

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 23,089
The Once, and Future Cunt
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The Once, and Future Cunt
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Ok that is mildly amusing.

rex #1049517 2009-03-31 2:34 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,432
Likes: 8
brother from another mother
15000+ posts
Online Cool
brother from another mother
15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,432
Likes: 8
You: hi
Stranger: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
You: none!
You: you still there?
Stranger: no no, that's how much wood a wood chuck actually could chuck
You: am I still here?
Stranger: I wanna know how much it would be if they could in fact chuck wood
Stranger: that's very existential
Stranger: I think
Stranger: I believe that makes me am
You: two piles of wood about so high and a small ple about half as high.
You: me am real man!
Stranger: exactly
Stranger: well done
You: I wonder if woodchucks taste good.
You: maybe boil 'em in a soup.
Stranger: well hopefully it doesn't taste like wood
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
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Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Have you heard of those new message boards?
Stranger: uhh, no?
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: They belong to the guy who used to run the dcmbs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049522 2009-03-31 2:46 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
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Who will I break next?
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Stranger: ese asno
You: 1
You: That was me pressing 1 for english
Stranger: qué
You: 1
Stranger: ??
You: Were those english question marks?
Stranger: qué
You: 1
Stranger: why was the man...
Stranger: ...driving in the kitchen?
Stranger: YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049525 2009-03-31 2:51 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
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You: Hi
Stranger: hi!
You: I think this place is full of dudes
Stranger: oh are you a girl?
Stranger: i mean, i'm a girl but i want to know if you're a girl.
You: I'm a guy
You: Are you hot?
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: in that case i'm a guy.
You: Wanna make out?
Stranger: i'm about 400 lbs and i haven't seen my vagina in about three years
Stranger: still wanna make out?
You: I haven't seen a vagina since I got half a blow job
You: What's your aim name?
Stranger: i don't have aim
You: yahoo?
You: msn?
Stranger: i don't have that either
Stranger: you sound really desperate
You: I once won 25 dollars in a writing contest
Stranger: is your name tomecatti?
You: Do you like soul caliber?
You: No, my name is matt
Stranger: no i do not like soul caliber--wait how old are you
You: Wanna have cyber sex?
You: 30
Stranger: ROFL
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: NO.
Stranger: ROFL
Stranger: OKAY, BYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049526 2009-03-31 2:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
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Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Stranger: Yo
You: yo!
Stranger: whats up
You: the sky
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: u got me
Stranger: u like hentai?
You: why vagina is tingly
Stranger: so is mine
Stranger: sorta
You: My nutsack is rubbing against it
Stranger: lol
Stranger: this site is randomness
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049640 2009-04-01 2:39 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
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Posts: 33,919
You: HELLO
Stranger: HELLO
Stranger: …………………………………………""-^*''''*^~^*'''*^-""
……………………………………."-^*''::::::::::"""-~-""~-*-""-^*~~-""
……………………………….."-^*''::::"""-::::""-~~-""::~-""::::/:::-~^^-"
……………………………."-*':::::::::"-^*::-"":::~-""::-":::/::""""-~:::::'\
………………………….../::::::::"-~^^::::^~-"-":::"-*-"/":::::::::::""-::'\
…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-""::-"::'\:""-*' . . . . *-"::::"""-~^::
…………………………::::::::~~-""____"""-~^* . . . . . . . . *-":::::::-"\
…………………………:::::"-^*''? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'\::::^-":-"\
…………………………::::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .':::~-"":'|
…………………………..\:::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \:::~-"""
……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::"-'"
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-~~~~-"" . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . ""-~~~~-" . . . . "-*"-^*''o??'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''?o?'''*-" . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-" '|
…………………………….... . *^~~-~^*'' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
……………………………….. . . . . . . ."- ' . . . .*^" . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-" . . . . . \"-""_""-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . ""_""-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-"-"
……………………………………….''-" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."-* . . . | . \''*-""
………………………………………….*-" . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-^'' . . . . / . . '\;;;;*^-""
…………………………………………...*^-"" . . . . . . .""-*' . . . . . ./' . . . ;;;;;;;;;;?''*^~-""_
……………………………………….""-^*'|\ . . ?''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . ."-* . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;?'''*^~-""_
……………………………….."""-^*'';;;;;;;;| *-" . . . . . . . . . . . "-*'' . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?''*^-""
…………………………""-^*''?;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;|\ . .*-"" . . . . . . ."-*' . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*^ ~-""
……………………""-^*';;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;'|.\ . . . *^~-""""-^*' . . . . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;?'''*^-""_
……………..""-^*'?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| .\ . . . "-*'::::::-" . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;''\
………."-^*''?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . \ . ./''\:::::::::::/'''*^-" . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . '\"-* . ::::::/ . . . . *^-""/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-'"";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . . . . /"__"-* . . . . . . .'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\
…….'|;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . . "-*:::::::'\ . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; ;;;;;;| . /:::::::::::::'-" . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
……..'|;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;; ;;;;; ;;;;;;;'| ./::::::::::::::::'\ . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\
……..;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;; ;;;
You: OH FUCK
You: OH FUCK
You: LOOK
You: LOOK, I
You: OH FUCK
You: LOOK I SWEAR
You: FUCK
Stranger: What did you plan on doing here today, exactly?
You: FUCK I SWEAR
You: I SWEAR I DIDNT
You: I SWEAR I
You: OH FUCK
You: OH FUCK
You: .
Stranger: You brought condoms and whipped cream.
You: IM DYING:
You: THIS UH
You: ITS NO EXCUSE I KNOW
Stranger: You also discussed anally raping a cat.
You: BUT I AM
You: LOOk
You: THE CAT WAS BEGGING FOR IT
Stranger: ARE YOU AN ANIMAL PSYCHIC?
Stranger: I didn't think so.
You: PART TIME
You: LOOK
You: MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT
Stranger: We have the chat logs.
Stranger: SHE'S THIRTEEN.
You: HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT?
Stranger: She told you.
You: YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT
Stranger: Stop trying to flirt with me, sir.
You: YOU HAVE A LOVELY SMILE YOU KNOW
You: IS THAT
You: WHAT UH
Stranger: This isn't helping you at all.
You: WHAT MOUTH WASH DO YOU USE
Stranger: Have a seat over there.
Stranger: Here, take this towel.
You: I UH OKAY
Stranger: Wrap it around you.
You: DO UH
Stranger: I don't want to see that part.
You: DO YOU WANT ME TO COME ON IT?
Stranger: No.
You: OK THAT WAS MISLEADING
You: THIS IS ENTRAPMENT
You: I AM A LAWYER YOU KNOW
You: IN BRAZIL
Stranger: In the chat logs, you discussed how you drive school busses.
You: EU SOM UN ADBOGADO
Stranger: I don't think you're a lawyer.
You: I AM
Stranger: Stop speaking Spanish, sir.
You: IN BRAZIL.
You: THAT'S PORTUGUESE
Stranger: I'm afraid you divided by zero one too many times.
You: LOOK
You: I HAVE CANDY.
Stranger: Was that part of the plan?
You: THATS NOT THE POINT
Stranger: To lure this THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL
Stranger: and her SEVEN YEAR OLD BROTHER
Stranger: to the bedroom
You: THIS CANDY COULD BE YOURS IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Stranger: and ANALLY RAPE THEM?
You: IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Stranger: I DO NOT WANT THE CANDY, SIR.
You: FINE
Stranger: KEEP THE TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND YOU, SIR
Stranger: I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU
You: OH COME ON
You: YOU'RE EATING ME WITH YOUR EYES
Stranger: YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY TYPE
Stranger: OH SHI-
You: IS IT BECAUSE IM JEWISH?
Stranger: NO
You: ANTI SEMITE
Stranger: IT'S BECAUSE YOUR PENIS IS TINY
You: ITS TINY BECAUSE A RABBI CHOPPED IT
You: YOU IDIOT
Stranger: I COULD BREAK IT WITH MY PINKY
You: LOOK THAT KINDA TALK IS MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO UH
You: KEEP IT IN THE TOWEL
Stranger: ………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,,
……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-,
…………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--.
……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘
You: hawt
Stranger: I know right?
Stranger: Pedobear smiles upon your actions, son
You: YAY
Stranger: I think it's time for you to go now, and meet with the policemen outside
Stranger: keep the towel wrapped around you
You: COME ON
You: YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
Stranger: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
Stranger: NO
You: MEET ME IN THE BACK IN FIVE
Stranger: DON'T
You: ;\)
Stranger: DON'T RAPE ME
Stranger: NOOOOOOO
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOO MY ANUSSSSSSSSSSS
You: YESSSSS
You: AHHHHHHHH
Stranger: FUCK I'M BLEEDING
Stranger: SECURITY
You: TAKE MY LOVE NECTAR
Stranger: SECURITY
You: TAKE IT ALL
Stranger: Holy shit, you win
You: MEOWW
Stranger: /b/ or topicless
You: WHAT
You: i mean, what?
Stranger: in the butt?
You: OH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Offline
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
You: hey!
You: I'm maury!
Stranger: hi \:\)
You: What's your name?
Stranger: im tom
You: wow that is a cool name tom
Stranger: same \:\)
You: hey tom can I tell you about something really cool?
Stranger: sure
You: there is someone who loves you a lot tom
You: his name is Jesus
You: do you know about Jesus tom?
Stranger: yes
You: because Jesus knows about YOU!
You: oh.
Stranger: i'm christian \:\)
You: well would you like to know more about Jesus tom?
You: Oh good!
You have disconnected.


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Offline
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
You: hey what's up?
Stranger: hi
You: what's your name?
Stranger: my name is emma
Stranger: whats yours?
You: I'm Bruce
You: Hi emma!
Stranger: hello ^_^
You: What's up emma?
Stranger: nothing much just on this thing
You: I'm just chillin on my manor
Stranger: a guy just asked me to have cyber sex
Stranger: ugh...
You: LOL!
Stranger: people are such creepers
You: there's all sorts of people here
Stranger: oh i know
You: that's both the joy and the bad side of this thing
You: hold on Al just brought me a sandwich
Stranger: yeah, i guess so
Stranger: okay
You: I just woke up
You: sorry!
You: haven't eaten anything today
Stranger: oh its okay
Stranger: but why cant anyone be normal on this thing bruce?
You: I think some of us are normal
You: Listen, emma
Stranger: oh are you normal?
You: I was gonna stay for a while before doing my rounds
You: but I see the Bat signal is on
You: so I have to go
You: \:\(
Stranger: wait bruce....
You: I'll go catch the joker or something and come back later
Stranger: do you want to uhh....
You: ok?
Stranger: do you want to have some cyber sex before you go?


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Offline
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
You: hi1
You: i said hi
Stranger: no u said hi1
Stranger: retard
You: yeah
You: but in saying so i said hi
You: so my statement was correct
Stranger: no u said hi1
Stranger: it was not precise.
You: yeah
You: but in saying so i said hi
You: so my statement was correct
Stranger: its not precise
Stranger: EOD U FAT CUNT
You: maybe not
You: but it was correct
You: that's enough for me, edward.
You: I can live with it.
Stranger: hokay \:\(
You: glad we agree
You: let's move on shall we?
You: second order of business:
You: you are a cunt.


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Offline
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
Stranger: Jesus?
You: yes?
You: who is it?
Stranger: is it really you?
You: what do you want?
You: yeah
Stranger: its me
You: what do you want?
You: who?
You: look im busy
Stranger: dont you know everything?
Stranger: dont you already know what I want?
You: ugh no
You: that's racist
Stranger: you are everywhere and nowhere
You: just because im jesus i have to know everything?
Stranger: you are was and will be
You: no, that's my dad
You: look no
You: that's
You: ugh
You: that's ignorant
Stranger: you dad and holy spirit are all in one
You: and offensive
Stranger: what the fuck, I've been LIED TO
Stranger: fuck you
You: no edward.
You: you've just missunderstood what they tell you
Stranger: AAAAAAAAH dont call me that!
You: they were perfectly clear
You: look, edward
You: is there anything you want?
You: i'm busy
Stranger: I want to know ...
You: there are about 134 million people trying to talk to me right now
You: so spit it out ok?
Stranger: I'm not sure how to ask
You: just do it
You: for fuck's sake
You: look i can't be here all day
You: if you don't say it I'll go away
Stranger: what have you got to do you are dead anyways
Stranger: I want to know if you like pandas
You: look
You: dead people are people too
You: pandas?
Stranger: yes pandas
You: what the fuck is a panda?
Stranger: a fucking black bear with white spots
Stranger: or a fucking white bear with black spots
Stranger: jesus fucking christ
You: what? it's a sex act with a bear?
You: LOOK!
You: that's not my name!
Stranger: oops that slipepd sorry
Stranger: !
You: my middle name is horatio!
You: not fucking!
You: anyways
Stranger: \:\(
You: to answer your question
Stranger: ok, I really want to know why I have a small penis
You: no, I do not like to fuck bears
You: white or otherwise
You: you have a small penis because you fuck bears
Stranger: I dont fuck bears
You: have you given oral sex to a bear?
You: there you go
Stranger: that was a "breaking the ice" question
You: what?
Stranger: you mean I should?
You: well yeah
Stranger: ho wmany times do I get to talk to god?
You: once
Stranger: you m ean I can just walk in and ask "why do I haev a small penis?"
You: then you're fucked
Stranger: are you insane

You: no, I'm dead
Stranger: touche
You: look is there anything else?
Stranger: so back to the penis
You: ok...
Stranger: I WANT A BLACK COCK GOD DAMN IT
You: ah what the hell
Stranger: actually, make it a horse cock
You: too late
Stranger: snap
You: I already gave you a black cock
Stranger: AH!
You: check your ass
Stranger: it is you!
You: LOL!
You: OMG
Stranger: LOL damn!
Stranger: HAHAHAH
You: LOL!
Stranger: HAHAHAH
You: no really.
Stranger: damn dude I want expecting that
You: check your ass.
Stranger: lol wtf
Stranger: hHAHAHAHAHAH
You: go ahead.
You: you won't be laughing so hard.


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Offline
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
(Note: I'm "You")

Stranger: hello
You: paul?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: how did you know
You: this is megan, are you the paul I was talking to?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i mean yes
You: oh ok sorry
You: what?
Stranger: megan
Stranger: is that you
You: are you serious?
Stranger: are you?
You: paul is that you?
Stranger: yes megan my long lost love
Stranger: it is me
You: what happened??
Stranger: paul
You: why did you disconnect??
Stranger: my router messed up
Stranger: i had to reset it
You: oh my god hahahaha
You: i was so worried!
Stranger: its ok im back
You: i've been looking for like 10 minutes
Stranger: this was like my 3rd try
You: i swear I was about to call the cops
You: wow!
You: hahahaha
You: oh god
You: \:\)
Stranger: \:\)
You: so what happened??
You: was it just a cat?
Stranger: i won
Stranger: yeah
You: thats a relief
You: you closed anyway right?
Stranger: youre telling me
You: did you?
Stranger: yeah
You: good \:\)
You: i was really worried about you
You: but i didn't wanna call the number at this hour
Stranger: thank you
You: if you didnt pick up i swear
You: i was gonna call the cops
Stranger: wait
Stranger: did you say paul
Stranger: my name is sau
You: i dont even know where you live
Stranger: saul
You: haha
You: so when can we talk?
Stranger: NOW
You: really??
Stranger: sure
You: ok I'll call
You: :))))))
Stranger: otay
Stranger: your voice is as beautiful as the heavens themselves
You: pick up
You: what?
Stranger: i mean
You: lol pick up already
Stranger: sorry im on the phone with mallory
You: who's mallory?
Stranger: my ex
You: at this hour??
Stranger: uh
Stranger: yeah
You: didn't you say your ex was stephanie or something?
You: should I bother calling again or not?
Stranger: i dont just have one ex
You: \:\/ you said you did....
Stranger: maybe tommorow its kinda late
You: oh ok
You: not too late for mallory i guess \:\(
Stranger: never too late for mallory \:\)
You: are you ashamed to pick up?
Stranger: FAIL
You: I swear I'll make it worth it
You: look
You: just pick up so I stop worrying
Stranger: oooh i love phone sex
You: cause part of me still doesn't believe you're you
Stranger: how did you find out about this site?
You: i don't know, someone told me
You: paul
You: are you you?
Stranger: i am me
Stranger: Saul
You: ok then I'll call again
You: and you'll pick up the phone
You: ok?
Stranger: but
Stranger: but
You: ok?
Stranger: mallory...
Stranger: she has huge knockers
You: you're not talking to mallory and chatting!
You: at the same time!
You: that's crazy
Stranger: YES I AM
You: lol no you're not
Stranger: i totally iz
You: i just want to hear you tell me that you're okay
Stranger: im okay
You: your voice
Stranger: are you on a pc or mac?
You: pc
You: but you know that \:\/
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: you just told me
You: then why did you ask?
You: ARE YOU PAUL?
Stranger: i cant haz a question
You: IF YOU'RE NOT PAUL I SHOULD CALL THE COPS
Stranger: I AM SAUL!!!!!!
You: oh god
You: you're not him you evil idiot
You: i should have called them 20 minutes ago you fucking asshole
You: fuck you
You: fuck you
Stranger: Im sorry
Stranger: you should call them
Stranger: sorry
You: FUCK YOU
Stranger: what happened to paul?
You have disconnected.


Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793
Likes: 3
Doog the MIGHTY
10000+ posts
Offline
Doog the MIGHTY
10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793
Likes: 3
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
You: HELLO
Stranger: HELLO
Stranger: …………………………………………""-^*''''*^~^*'''*^-""
……………………………………."-^*''::::::::::"""-~-""~-*-""-^*~~-""
……………………………….."-^*''::::"""-::::""-~~-""::~-""::::/:::-~^^-"
……………………………."-*':::::::::"-^*::-"":::~-""::-":::/::""""-~:::::'\
………………………….../::::::::"-~^^::::^~-"-":::"-*-"/":::::::::::""-::'\
…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-""::-"::'\:""-*' . . . . *-"::::"""-~^::
…………………………::::::::~~-""____"""-~^* . . . . . . . . *-":::::::-"\
…………………………:::::"-^*''? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'\::::^-":-"\
…………………………::::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .':::~-"":'|
…………………………..\:::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \:::~-"""
……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::"-'"
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-~~~~-"" . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . ""-~~~~-" . . . . "-*"-^*''o??'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''?o?'''*-" . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-" '|
…………………………….... . *^~~-~^*'' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
……………………………….. . . . . . . ."- ' . . . .*^" . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-" . . . . . \"-""_""-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . ""_""-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-"-"
……………………………………….''-" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."-* . . . | . \''*-""
………………………………………….*-" . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-^'' . . . . / . . '\;;;;*^-""
…………………………………………...*^-"" . . . . . . .""-*' . . . . . ./' . . . ;;;;;;;;;;?''*^~-""_
……………………………………….""-^*'|\ . . ?''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . ."-* . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;?'''*^~-""_
……………………………….."""-^*'';;;;;;;;| *-" . . . . . . . . . . . "-*'' . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?''*^-""
…………………………""-^*''?;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;|\ . .*-"" . . . . . . ."-*' . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*^ ~-""
……………………""-^*';;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;'|.\ . . . *^~-""""-^*' . . . . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;?'''*^-""_
……………..""-^*'?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| .\ . . . "-*'::::::-" . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;''\
………."-^*''?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . \ . ./''\:::::::::::/'''*^-" . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . '\"-* . ::::::/ . . . . *^-""/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-'"";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . . . . /"__"-* . . . . . . .'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\
…….'|;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . . "-*:::::::'\ . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; ;;;;;;| . /:::::::::::::'-" . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
……..'|;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;; ;;;;; ;;;;;;;'| ./::::::::::::::::'\ . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\
……..;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;; ;;;
You: OH FUCK
You: OH FUCK
You: LOOK
You: LOOK, I
You: OH FUCK
You: LOOK I SWEAR
You: FUCK
Stranger: What did you plan on doing here today, exactly?
You: FUCK I SWEAR
You: I SWEAR I DIDNT
You: I SWEAR I
You: OH FUCK
You: OH FUCK
You: .
Stranger: You brought condoms and whipped cream.
You: IM DYING:
You: THIS UH
You: ITS NO EXCUSE I KNOW
Stranger: You also discussed anally raping a cat.
You: BUT I AM
You: LOOk
You: THE CAT WAS BEGGING FOR IT
Stranger: ARE YOU AN ANIMAL PSYCHIC?
Stranger: I didn't think so.
You: PART TIME
You: LOOK
You: MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT
Stranger: We have the chat logs.
Stranger: SHE'S THIRTEEN.
You: HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT?
Stranger: She told you.
You: YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT
Stranger: Stop trying to flirt with me, sir.
You: YOU HAVE A LOVELY SMILE YOU KNOW
You: IS THAT
You: WHAT UH
Stranger: This isn't helping you at all.
You: WHAT MOUTH WASH DO YOU USE
Stranger: Have a seat over there.
Stranger: Here, take this towel.
You: I UH OKAY
Stranger: Wrap it around you.
You: DO UH
Stranger: I don't want to see that part.
You: DO YOU WANT ME TO COME ON IT?
Stranger: No.
You: OK THAT WAS MISLEADING
You: THIS IS ENTRAPMENT
You: I AM A LAWYER YOU KNOW
You: IN BRAZIL
Stranger: In the chat logs, you discussed how you drive school busses.
You: EU SOM UN ADBOGADO
Stranger: I don't think you're a lawyer.
You: I AM
Stranger: Stop speaking Spanish, sir.
You: IN BRAZIL.
You: THAT'S PORTUGUESE
Stranger: I'm afraid you divided by zero one too many times.
You: LOOK
You: I HAVE CANDY.
Stranger: Was that part of the plan?
You: THATS NOT THE POINT
Stranger: To lure this THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL
Stranger: and her SEVEN YEAR OLD BROTHER
Stranger: to the bedroom
You: THIS CANDY COULD BE YOURS IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Stranger: and ANALLY RAPE THEM?
You: IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Stranger: I DO NOT WANT THE CANDY, SIR.
You: FINE
Stranger: KEEP THE TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND YOU, SIR
Stranger: I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU
You: OH COME ON
You: YOU'RE EATING ME WITH YOUR EYES
Stranger: YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY TYPE
Stranger: OH SHI-
You: IS IT BECAUSE IM JEWISH?
Stranger: NO
You: ANTI SEMITE
Stranger: IT'S BECAUSE YOUR PENIS IS TINY
You: ITS TINY BECAUSE A RABBI CHOPPED IT
You: YOU IDIOT
Stranger: I COULD BREAK IT WITH MY PINKY
You: LOOK THAT KINDA TALK IS MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO UH
You: KEEP IT IN THE TOWEL
Stranger: ………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,,
……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-,
…………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--.
……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘
You: hawt
Stranger: I know right?
Stranger: Pedobear smiles upon your actions, son
You: YAY
Stranger: I think it's time for you to go now, and meet with the policemen outside
Stranger: keep the towel wrapped around you
You: COME ON
You: YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
Stranger: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
Stranger: NO
You: MEET ME IN THE BACK IN FIVE
Stranger: DON'T
You: ;\)
Stranger: DON'T RAPE ME
Stranger: NOOOOOOO
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOO MY ANUSSSSSSSSSSS
You: YESSSSS
You: AHHHHHHHH
Stranger: FUCK I'M BLEEDING
Stranger: SECURITY
You: TAKE MY LOVE NECTAR
Stranger: SECURITY
You: TAKE IT ALL
Stranger: Holy shit, you win
You: MEOWW
Stranger: /b/ or topicless
You: WHAT
You: i mean, what?
Stranger: in the butt?
You: OH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


I lol'd!

Stupid Doog #1049704 2009-04-01 3:11 PM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
OP Offline
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
You: Hi!
Stranger: let's talk soup
You: I'd rather not.
Stranger: tomato i my favourite
Stranger: \:\(
You: I had a bad experience with soup.
Stranger: what happened?
Stranger: quick my soups getting cold
You: My grandmother died while eating soup. I was the one who found her body.
Stranger: i am so sorry \:\(
You: She was dead for three days.
Stranger: what soup was she eating
Stranger: i bet it was that damn CHICkcen soup
You: That's not funny.
You: Why do you have to be so insensitive?
Stranger: bah i'm no good with soup-related deaths \:\(
You: You're a bad person


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049770 2009-04-02 12:39 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
Stranger: Hello
You: sup?
Stranger: P/B?
Stranger: Soap?
Stranger: I like soap
You: i love peanutbutter!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049773 2009-04-02 1:13 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hiya
You: you like cowboys?
Stranger: no
You: me neither!
You: FUCK COWBOYS!
Stranger: \o/
You: that is a cheer!
You: I think
Stranger: oh
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: FUCK COWBOYS!
You: YEAHHH!
Stranger: [drinks beer]
You: Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you, I LOVE TYOU!
You: YOU
You: I also love beer
Stranger: OMG *-*
Stranger: i love you too
You: what beer you drinking?
You: WE LOVE EACHOTHER!
You: I has no beer
You: but I has whiskey
Stranger: i do
Stranger: but u wont know it
You: tell me
Stranger: cause its from brazil
You: you the Brazillian again?
Stranger: dunno
You: prolly not
You: they never wrote anything
Stranger: there are lots of brazilians here i think
Stranger: who are you ?
Stranger: \:\)
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: ur name
You: Im a brazillian!
You: Uschio
Stranger: :o
You: Uschi
Stranger: \o/
You: there's a famous porn star
You: Uschi Delelliiogfoudno[i
You: I forget her last name
You: that is not me
Stranger: humm
You: but I am Uschi
You: she has huge boobs
Stranger: huuh
You: I also have huge boobs
Stranger: nice
Stranger: i dont \:\(
You: you must be jealous
You: of mah melons
Stranger: i think that is cause im a male
You: that's a good reson for no boobies
Stranger: but im not sure
Stranger: x)
You: :D
You: I also have a large penis
You: and a small one
Stranger: =D
Stranger: =O
Stranger: 2 penis ?
You: the big one is in my butt
You: and one left nut
You: it gets bloody when I'm on the rag
You: how many penis YOU have?
Stranger: humm
Stranger: i have only one \:\(
You: I think that is the appropriate number
Stranger: probably
Stranger: well, i think so
You: but I like two
You: or three
You: if the mood is right
Stranger: humm
You: yeah, I give hummers
You: you too then?
You: hard to breathe tho
Stranger: dont know hummers \:\(
Stranger: mean, dont know the meaning
You: I like blowing smaller dick
You: is fellatio
Stranger: why that ?
You: it is easier to get the whole thing in
You: a big one I gag too much
You: need a small one, 6 or 7 inch max!
You: LOL!
Stranger: aw, but the fun thing is beeing hard
Stranger: \:\/
You: you get hard for bees?
You: wot?
You: do they sting you on the peenor?
Stranger: nah,
You: or did you mean Peeing hard?
Stranger: i dont like bees
You: my vagina houses bees
Stranger: Noo..
Stranger: =O
You: if you no like them
You: do not put your penis in there
You: a good suggestion
Stranger: i put some repelent
You: I like how they tickle
Stranger: =O
You: they tickle my vajayjay
Stranger: may hurt
You: no, I has good bees
Stranger: Humm
Stranger: ah
Stranger: so ok
You: they tickle my butthole too!
Stranger: i dont mind
You: you can give tem bee kisses!
Stranger: for sure
You: on my vag
You: kisses to the bees
You: so they do not feel alone
Stranger: do they like honey ?
You: and get sad
You: they love honey!
You: they is bees!
Stranger: yeah
You: they also like bacon
Stranger: i love honey too
Stranger: humm
You: hmmmm!
You: that wut bees say!
You: no wait
You: that BUZZ
Stranger: honey+bacon+vagina = delicious
You: YUSSS!
You: I knew I loved you
Stranger: + bees
Stranger: i forgot
Stranger: sorry
You: PLUSBEES!
You: yes
You: bees make it magical
Stranger: yes
You: put a bee on your vagina
You: I promis you like
Stranger: i dont have a vagina \:\/
You: NO?!
Stranger: can i put one at yours ?
You: ONE peeniz and NO VAGINA!
You: yus
You: you can tickle my vag wit bees!
Stranger: im sure id love to
You: ME TOO!
You: be careful of the testicle tjho
You: it is very sensitive
Stranger: bees dont like testicle ?
You: no they sting!
Stranger: =O
You: OMGUS!
Stranger: even if i put honey on it ?
You: yes
You: they smell boy parts
You: and they get jealous
Stranger: =(
You: they do not have testical big like mine!
You: but they love the girl bits
You: they pussywhipped
You: queen bees and all that
You: they fear the scrot
Stranger: soo, if i get my penis in a girls vagina they would sting me ?
Stranger: \:\(
You: that why I say keep peen out!
You: I has bees there!
You: not all girls has bees
You: some has crabs
Stranger: but, but \:\(
You: butt is an option
Stranger: yes
You: I can poo furst
Stranger: but dunno
You: and warsh it out
You: so it clean
Stranger: isnt it better for u in vajayjya ?
You: I dunno
Stranger: beside the bees ?
You: clit most important
You: plus I regularly orgasm taking a poo
You: so...
You: I like to poo
Stranger: humm
Stranger: :D
You: make me grunt like pig-dog!
You: sometimes drool
Stranger: no, thats nice
You: so I poo furst
Stranger: i like to see girls pooing
You: get there furst
You: oh,. you wanna watch?
Stranger: if u let me
Stranger: \:\)
You: you like seeing the thick
You: browm
Stranger: submarine
You: log stickin out her ass?
You: an her butt clenching it?
Stranger: id prefer to see the thick
You: like a gaping feesh?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: really nice
Stranger: i get hard with it
You: I poot mah hand in my undies jus then
Stranger: humm
You: an clench mah fingers in mah butt
You: they smells like poop
Stranger: hummm
Stranger: delicious
You: LOL
You: 1stranger 1cup!
Stranger: lick it
Stranger: lol
You: dude no
Stranger: XD
You: poo is nasty
Stranger: kidding
Stranger: nah
You: of course
You: perv!
You: :D
Stranger: dont remember me of 1 guy 1 cup
You: HA HA HA!
You: yeah I saw that!
Stranger: disgusting
You: broke the glass in his ass!
Stranger: yes
You: pourin blood
Stranger: ah
Stranger: stop it
Stranger: dont remember me
You: you get to hospital okay/
You: ?
Stranger: k
Stranger: lol
You: I was worried
Stranger: my brother sent me the link
You: so, wut ur name?
Stranger: dammit
You: really?
You: that a nice name
Stranger: Raul, yours ?
You: Uschi
You: f'real
Stranger: oh yes
Stranger: \:\)
You: is at efuked dot com
You: they has a LOT of effed up pron
You: Raw-oohl
Stranger: Ohh
Stranger: nice
You: or do it rhyme wif Paul
Stranger: noo
You: yus, good LOL pron
You: rah-uh-L
You: ra-wool
Stranger: its sounds more like someone throwing up
Stranger: RAULRSHRSHRH
You: BLOORRRGH!
You: yeah, I actually know a guy with that name
You: I jus playin
Stranger: =))
You: he some catholic my mum knows from church or some shit
Stranger: aw
Stranger: thats not me for sure
You: you has religion?
Stranger: well..
You: yus, me neither!
Stranger: no
You: raised roman catholic
You: and jewish
You: you?
Stranger: raised catholic
Stranger: but when i got conscience
You: MAWWAIGE!
Stranger: leaved it
You: HAH!
You: yar
Stranger: conscience is right ?
You: yep
Stranger: dunno :\
Stranger: aw.. ok
You: unless you meant drivers liscence
Stranger: lol
You: har har haer
You: you ever read that Wizard Hat and Robe guy?
You: onna innernet sexchats?
Stranger: nope :\
You: NO?!
You: oh god.
Stranger: no \:\(
Stranger: what about them ?
Stranger: tell me
You: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja
You: this guy is my hero
You: read later
You: takes a while
You: but you will ROTFLOL
Stranger: ejaowejae
Stranger: ok
You: that
You: was not a pallendrome
You: but I thought it was at first glance
You: racecar
Stranger: Humm
Stranger: lol
Stranger: sexchats in brazil
You: go hang a salami I'm a lasagane hog!
You: SEXORS!
Stranger: most of the girls are gay guys \:\/
You: really?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: sad thing
You: I'm a queer girl
You: so
You: *shrug*
You: whomever can get it up
You: OH!
You: hey
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how are you ?
Stranger: lol
You: what the hell does P/B mean
You: ?
Stranger: p/b ? in portuguese ?
You: someone on this thing wrote that?
You: and I said I like peanutbutter!
You: and they logged off
Stranger: p/b in portuguese is like B&W i think oO
You: wait, what portugese>?
You: no they like
You: hi
You: P/B
You: i like soap
You: and I was all WUT?
Stranger: oO
You: okay
Stranger: oh well
You: so you dunno neither
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: yeah
You: crazy ass bastards
You: mussin wif mah innernettes
Stranger: yeah...
You: FUCK COWBOYS!
Stranger: lol
You: random is random
Stranger: i just started reading blood ninja
You: innit great?!
Stranger: yeah
You: okay
Stranger: lmao
You: I need dinner
You: sos I'm about to peace out
You: BUT
You: you seem pretty cool
You: if you wanna hang out
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: I'm still Uschi
You: fun place
Stranger: ok..
You: unless you're one of the guys from there
Stranger: cya later :}
You: then I feel like a retard
You: BYE!
Stranger: lol


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049775 2009-04-02 1:55 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
rex Offline OP
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
OP Offline
Who will I break next?
15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
I linked a bunch of people here last night but they never showed up.


November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
rex #1049777 2009-04-02 2:03 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
Stranger: hi!
You: HIYA!
You: i know karate
Stranger: what's the silliest thing you've heard on this site?
You: P/B
You: i don't understand it
You: plus
You: this is the third conversation I ever had
You: WOT ABOOT YOU?!?!?!
Stranger: i hope you've been lucky enough to have an actual cnversation
You: yes
You: one
You: or...
You: were you answerign
You: answering
Stranger: lol someone pretended to be working for the site and said that i was banned lol
You: oh
You: yeah, um
You: you're banned
Stranger: lol
You: IN THE ASS!
Stranger: oh shit!
You: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Stranger: lmao
You: so...
Stranger: how'd you learn about this site?
You: you know what P/B is?
You: um
Stranger: no
You: some dilweed linked it
Stranger: sry
Stranger: lol kk
You: and it is fun
Stranger: ya
You: you're a girl aintcha
Stranger: maybe ;\)
You: you type like a girl
You: it is okay
You: I am also a girl
Stranger: lol cool
You: what is the strangest thing you ever got on here?
You: oh wait
You: you said banned
You: damn
You: um
You: ...
You: I made cookies
Stranger: YAY!
Stranger: what kind?
You: ginger
You: like soft ginger snaps
You: they is liek CRACK
You: I mail them to my friends
Stranger: I liek cookies!!!
You: so they don't hate me
You: cookies is awesome
You: one of my friends
You: I sent her 3 dozen
You: and she did not share even ONE
You: not with her SISTER
You: they are that good
Stranger: she must realllllly like you now!
Stranger: lol
You: Yeah I hope so!
Stranger: I can has recipe???
You: I'm trying to convince her to be a dyke for me.
You: it would be hard to type out here
Stranger: kk \:\(
You: it is ginger snaps
You: but with twice the crisco
Stranger: Ohhhh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049778 2009-04-02 2:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
SHE JUST WANTED MY GODDAMN COOKIE RECIPE!


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049779 2009-04-02 2:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: B9
You: YOU SUNK MAH BATTLESHIP!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049780 2009-04-02 2:05 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: LOL THATS WHAT SHE SAID!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049786 2009-04-02 2:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
Long one, so...

Warning, Spoiler:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hello
Stranger: how are you
You: there an echo god here?
You: I'm Uschi how are you?
Stranger: i am terrible!
You: Hello, Ivan
Stranger: thanks for asking tho
You: why so sad
Stranger: not sad
Stranger: RAGING
You: why so ANGRY?
Stranger: my fonts
You: did someone sink your battleship?
Stranger: they are upset
You: fonts?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: my fonts
You: loik typing font/
Stranger: this font
You: you don't like it?
Stranger: it makes me angry
Stranger: NO
Stranger: i hate it
You: seems sad to me
Stranger: i know
You: you prefer comic sans?
Stranger: yes
You: LOL!
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: dude
You: ette
Stranger: its a troll fest
You: yus!
Stranger: ette
Stranger: there aint no girls on the internet
You: ettequitte!
You: ha!
Stranger: NO GIRLS
You: I'm a girl!
Stranger: im a little girl
You: and I just talked with a gitl
You: girl
Stranger: lol
You: she stole my cookie recipe and ran off
Stranger: i dint think no girls went to b
You: I would slap her
You: b?
You: oh, you from 4chan?
Stranger: /
Stranger: of course
You: OOOHHHH
You: ok
Stranger: thats about all thats on here rifht now
You: I got here otherwise
You: that ain't true
You: the NATUREBOYZ are here too
Stranger: it seems like it
You: yes
Stranger: what are natureboyz
You: trolls
Stranger: what site
You: from a different neighborhood
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: I'm a naturegirl
You: if they'll have me
You: I like trolls
Stranger: lol
Stranger: i been trolling for a long time
You: if you a very little girl
You: do not go there
Stranger: i want
You: mummy wouldn't like
Stranger: how bout something awful
You: trolling here
Stranger: or ebaums
You: SA?
You: beh
Stranger: yes
Stranger: they suck
You: bah bah bah
You: and meh
You: I like efuked.com
You: is funneh
Stranger: i used to run a msg board
Stranger: but i shut it down
You: omg which?
Stranger: nothing you would have heard of
You: insurgency?
Stranger: no it was really gay
You: ...that's what I said!
You: LOL
You: we shut down them
Stranger: you ever heard of yahoo msg boards
You: nope!
Stranger: they used to have a news board
You: so, uh.... do you, uh... yahoo?
Stranger: i made a site for them
Stranger: no
Stranger: i hate yahoo
You: me too
Stranger: i dont like google
You: was a commercial joke
Stranger: yes
You: NO?
Stranger: NO
You: google had um...
You: Eric Karl
You: for the letters the other day
You: I liked the
You: at that
Stranger: who was he
Stranger: or is he
Stranger: i cant google him
You: Brown Bear Brown Bear, What DDo You See?
You: and
You: The Very Hungary Caterpillar
You: kid books
Stranger: ahh
You: he watercolored paper
You: then tore it up into shapes
You: to illustrate
Stranger: hes an artist
You: yus
Stranger: by god
You: and country!
Stranger: indeeed
Stranger: i am a programmer
You: I am a mad scientist
Stranger: i program shite
You: I mix shit together
Stranger: for a big company
You: and feed it to ppl
Stranger: what kind of shit
You: and tell them it will heal them
You: medications
Stranger: drugs
You: I'm at a pharmacy
Stranger: are good
You: they can be, yes
Stranger: i like drugs
You: I have a friend with ...um
You: schizophrenia
Stranger: he is never lonely
You: and pot helps her parinoia
Stranger: she
You: yus
You: well, she's married
You: so she has that and a dog too
Stranger: good
You: plus the shadow people
Stranger: thats good
You: yeah, but THC helps her
Stranger: that pot
You: calm down
You: yes
Stranger: it should be legal
You: I think it ought to be legal
You: yes
You: is better than a lot of stuff
Stranger: i dont smoke it
You: neither do I
You: never tried it
Stranger: but i dont care who does
You: I care
Stranger: in fact i am a libertarian
You: my friend is helped by it
Stranger: ahhh
You: I know a librarian
Stranger: yes
You: and a vegitarian veterinarian
You: is funneh
Stranger: thats funny
Stranger: i giggled
You: yes
You: I have dealt with a lot of dead animals working with her
You: I also worked for a while at an emergency vet hospital
Stranger: i dont like dead animals
You: it drove me to smoke
You: neither do I!
You: they poo on me
Stranger: smoking is bad for you
You: and I had to deal with maggots
You: I know
You: it hurts my lungs
Stranger: maggots
You: maggots are hard
Stranger: i dont like maggots
You: like uncooked rice
Stranger: yes
You: neither do I!
Stranger: so you are a phramicist
You: I started smoking the day a dog's ass had maggots pouring out
You: no, I am a tech
Stranger: that kills animals
Stranger: a tech
You: no I was an assistant
Stranger: an assistant
You: assistant at pet hospital
You: technician at pharm
Stranger: i would not like to do that
You: I have a certificate
You: neither did I
Stranger: i dont like suffering
You: so I quit
Stranger: a certificate is fine
You: well, they only euthanize that which cannot be saved
You: certified pharmacy technician
Stranger: do u like yer job
You: but I do not count pills, no no
Stranger: i like mine
You: I LOVE MAH JOB!
You: but you a programmer
Stranger: job is good
You: I make medicine from the base chemicals
Stranger: i make code from scratch
You: mix and mash
Stranger: lol
Stranger: wtf
You: wot?
Stranger: we made a ryhme
You: HA!
Stranger: almost
You: if we slur
Stranger: i like writing code
Stranger: i use c#
You: I won't let anyone onto the secret
Stranger: good
Stranger: sql server
Stranger: its hot
You: I don't understand that
Stranger: np
You: I will not lie
You: C++, right?
Stranger: c# is a programming language
Stranger: i used to use C+
Stranger: but i moved to c#
You: my bro-in-law did that
Stranger: its fun
You: I am jealous
You: it is a skill I do not posess
Stranger: dont be jealous
Stranger: i cant mix pills
You: i can't go to any more school
Stranger: we all have different skills
Stranger: why not
You: yes, but it is easy
Stranger: it aint never too late
You: I have no more money
Stranger: you can rob a bank
You: I have 32k in school loan debt
You: TOO LATE!
Stranger: goodness
You: yeah
You: is typical
Stranger: good lord i hoped you learned a lot
You: should have gone to an apprenticeshi[
You: I did!
You: but I kept changing my majors
Stranger: i have been out of college for awhile
You: so I left @ 6 yrs
You: no degree
Stranger: wow
You: yeh
You: retard
You: BUT!
Stranger: how many hours to get one
Stranger: you should have lots of hours
You: I stopped going when they stopped teaching me what I wanted to know
You: yeah, but mostly I need bullshit
You: that I can't be arsed to pay foer
You: besides
You: degrees don't mean anything where I work
Stranger: you may can comp some of that stuff
You: meh
Stranger: orly
You: I'm happy
You: yeah
Stranger: as a clam
You: I love my job
You: as a vagina!
Stranger: my vagina is happy
You: I get to play mad scientist!
You: mine too!
Stranger: its warm and fuzzy
You: mine is cold and naked
Stranger: lol
You: heh
Stranger: this here internet
You: I got another tattoo yesterday
You: yes...
You: ?
Stranger: its awesome
You: yeah
You: I love the internet
Stranger: whar is yer tattooo
Stranger: i must know
You: a band, Skankin' Pickle
You: I got the pickle
Stranger: thats nice
You: yes
You: I am very pleased
You: Mez did a phenomenal job
Stranger: how many tatttoooos have you got
You: she is going to clean up some of my older shit
You: three
You: two are retarded n00bs
You: that Mez will fix
Stranger: i like retarded stuff
You: she is a goddess
You: yeah, but they poorly executed
Stranger: i dont want a tatattoo
You: no?
Stranger: naw
You: why not?
Stranger: thats a good question
Stranger: i have never thought about it
You: good enough reason to not want one
Stranger: so you are the stranger
You: is never thinking about it
Stranger: thats what yer name is
You: the red-headed stranger!
Stranger: yes
You: I am Uschi
Stranger: thats your name
You: pretty paper
You: pretty ribbons
You: of blooooo
Stranger: mah name is screff
You: willie nelson
Stranger: yep
You: Screff?
Stranger: yes
You: did your mum hate you?
Stranger: no
Stranger: its really jeff
You: you choose it?
Stranger: but mah frenz call me screff
You: Jeff is a weird name for a girl
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i am not really a girl
You: INDEED!
You: I could tell
Stranger: you are a girl
You: they way you refer to your vagina
You: yes I am
Stranger: or else a god troll
You: is all wrong
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: a good troll
You: I AM A GOD TROLL!
Stranger: YES
You: ha ha ha ha!
Stranger: BANHAMMER
You: BANBANBAN!
Stranger: so you are a girl
You: yes
Stranger: and i am not
You: lemme check...
You: ...
You: ...
You: yes
Stranger: whats the deal
You: I am a girl
You: see?
Stranger: whats it like to be a girl
You: girls is on the interwebs
You: um
Stranger: i have always wanted to know
You: is...
You: my boobs get in the way
Stranger: mine too
You: HAHAHAHA!
Stranger: i have moobs
You: like, I drop stuff
You: and it gets caught on my boobs
Stranger: i dont drop stuff
You: you lie!
Stranger: where are you dropping it from
You: my mouth
Stranger: awesome
You: food crumbs and shit
You: I dunno
Stranger: ok
You: I'm not a good person to ask
You: about being a girl
Stranger: why not
You: I'm gender-queer
You: kinda dykeish
Stranger: ok
You: *shrug*
You: and asexual
You: so... I dunno how "girls" think
You: but I can pretend!
Stranger: you know what
You: lols!
You: whot?
Stranger: its all good
You: I know!
You: oh!
Stranger: i know that sounds cliche
You: I know that periods SUCK!
Stranger: but thats how i live my life
You: yeah, me too
You: fekit
Stranger: i wouldnt know that
You: periods are the devil
You: if you aren't careful
You: you have to do a lot of laundry
Stranger: i bet
You: and feel like a twat
You: but!
Stranger: but
You: women are "more attractive" during that time
You: like
Stranger: orly
You: science says
You: I saw it on discovery
Stranger: thats weird
You: yeah
You: i know!
You: like, their voice gets higher
You: and skin looks better...
You: I don't roll with that
Stranger: i feel pregnant
You: the hormones make me break out
Stranger: i look pregnant
You: you gonna have ice-cream's baby?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i like to eat
You: nice poop to come!
You: COMING SOON!
Stranger: and sleep
You: me too!
Stranger: yes
You: we should start a club!
Stranger: yes
You: EPS
You: Eat Poo Sleep
Stranger: i like that
You: word
You: I made cookies
Stranger: i like cookies
You: and some bitch on here stole my recipe
You: and ran away
Stranger: she must die
You: yeah
You: I think I scared her
You: I said I sent a friend 3 doz.
You: she sez, "she must really like you now!"
Stranger: you can send me a doz
You: and I sez "I hope so 'cause I want her to be dyke for me!"
You: no I can't
Stranger: lol
You: I sent them all to her
Stranger: thats ok
You: I do has a crush
You: she is lovely
Stranger: so you like girls
Stranger: thats cool
You: no
You: and yes
You: panromantic
Stranger: hmmm
You: male, female, anything in-between
Stranger: that really doubles your chances
You: I particularly like cross-dressers
You: and transgenders
Stranger: u will really like me
You: they go through a lot, the trans
Stranger: i love to cross dress
You: why, is this Pariah?
You: OMG!
You: YOU DO?!
You: please be not lieing!
Stranger: well
Stranger: i have crossed dressed before
You: nothing it more attractive
Stranger: but its been awhile
You: than a man in a sundress
Stranger: yes
You: I like Casual Cross
Stranger: something frilly
Stranger: and lacy
You: not the Queen/King aesthetic so much
Stranger: naw
You: too flashy
Stranger: just something light and simple
You: yes
Stranger: LOL
You: you ever read Hitchiker's Guide?
Stranger: i am gigglinee
Stranger: yes
Stranger: all of em
You: and you read um...
You: ok
You: the chapter
Stranger: douglass adams rocke
You: in Mostly Harmless
You: YES HE DO!
Stranger: too bad he passed away
You: when Arthur bangs Fenchurch
You: YES
Stranger: he was a great writer
Stranger: mostly harmless
You: I wanted Arthur in the sundress
Stranger: yes
Stranger: arthur dent
You: yes
You: I wanted him in the dress
Stranger: did you like the movie
Stranger: it wasnt bad
You: yeah
You: I thought Ford was great
Stranger: it was cute
Stranger: yes
Stranger: mos def
You: Mos Def was MOST DEFINATELY RIGHT ON!
You: see, is a pun
Stranger: lol
You: that hanged in thuh air
You: much in the way a brick will not
Stranger: i liked that dude that play brannigan
You: YEAH
You: creepy ass fucker!
Stranger: he was over the top
Stranger: and marvin was good
You: totally
You: YEAH!
You: whassisname!
You: Alan Rickman
Stranger: yes
You: LOVE him
Stranger: did you ever pplay the game
You: no \:\(
Stranger: the dos based game
Stranger: it rocked
You: I heard about it
You: never played
Stranger: it was so funny
You: that's what I hear!
You: \:\(
You: ooh
You: Arrested Development!
You: MR F!
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: i like the number 42
You: me top
Stranger: thats my age
You: heh
Stranger: and my pants size
You: I'm 25
Stranger: lol
You: LOL!!!
Stranger: i know
You: that is NOT my pants size
Stranger: i am gigglin
Stranger: i giggle like a girl
You: you make a good girl
You: jeff
You: scheeef
Stranger: i think so
Stranger: SCREFF
You: or whatever you said
You: SCREFF
Stranger: yes
Stranger: thats mah name
You: i did not wanna scroll up
Stranger: that leads to madness
You: I have a leather-bound H2G
Stranger: wow
You: with a misspelled cover
You: "Young ZAPHOID Plays it Safe"
Stranger: i just have the pb books
Stranger: lol
You: I had those
You: they fell apart
Stranger: TYPHOID
You: I was at the store, all
You: THIS IS MISSPELLED!
Stranger: lol
You: and they all, LOL NO IT NOT!
You: and I was right
You: it was right after he died
You: I got it for $25
Stranger: it might be worth someting
You: it was sad
You: nah
Stranger: yes
Stranger: he was a good guy
You: the $ supposed to go UP when they die
You: he was a genius
Stranger: he was an atheist
You: I has Salmon of Doubt
Stranger: me 2
You: haven't finished
Stranger: its strange
You: yeah
You: very...
You: ecclectic
You: Dirk Gently though!
Stranger: he makes some good points
Stranger: i gots mah dirk
You: Dirk is god
Stranger: that dude
You: he is one hoopy frood
Stranger: LOL
You: :D
Stranger: i could not remember that
Stranger: i havent read em in a while
You: you sass that Ford Prefect?
Stranger: lol
You: sass- to know
You: or have sex with
Stranger: ford
You: the prefect
Stranger: arthur
Stranger: trillian
You: Zaphod
You: Tricia!
Stranger: i like zaphod
You: Marvin
You: Zaphod was awesome
You: but i loved ...
You: shit!
You: his daughter
Stranger: marvin waited 3 million years
You: Random something
Stranger: yes
You: Random Dent
Stranger: that was her name
You: she broke his watch
You: and Fenchurch
Stranger: i also like the dude that goes around insulting everyone
You: I loved her
You: oh!
You: um... yes the alien!
Stranger: he is immortal
You: ha ha ha!
Stranger: so thats his job
You: You have a bone in your beard
Stranger: that adams
You: I know
You: I'm training it to like being wehere its put
Stranger: lol
You: Eddies
Stranger: Hi!
You: where?
You: BEHIND THAT SOFA!
Stranger: lOL
Stranger: i gots to go mah fren
You: Eddies in the space-time continum!
Stranger: take care
Stranger: lol
You: what he doing there?
You: ok
You: you can find me at
You: rkmbs.com
You: Uschi
Stranger: 104
You: tah-tah!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1049792 2009-04-02 3:33 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Offline
devil-lovin' Bat-Man
15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
Still talking to this guy:

You: hello
Stranger: hi
Stranger: which your country?
You: hello
Stranger: hello
You: i am maury
Stranger: which your country, Japan?
You: no, maury
You: are you japan
Stranger: no
Stranger: I'm from Brazil
You: hi brazil
You: im maury
Stranger: Seu país é grande?
Stranger: Your country is great?
You: yes im great
You: 20 centimeters
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: like football?
You: no smaller than ball
You: not round also
Stranger: sorry the question but q continent is your country?
You: i dont understand continent
You: is like holding water?
Stranger: like rock'n'roll?
You: yes jerry lee lewis
You: buddy hollis
You: elvis pralsey
You: and you?
Stranger: I like Iron Maiden, Oasis, Black Sabbath!
You: i like sabbath, do nothing all day
You: party on wayne
Stranger: is very good
You: what else do you
You: what else you do
Stranger: know something about Brazil?
You: you are brazil
You: like iron maidem oasis sabbath
Stranger: I am a university student, I want to train in psychology!
Stranger: yes
You: very good!
You: I train in gymnasium
Stranger: and you, what is?
You: im maury
You: \:\)
Stranger: my English is horrible
You: im pretty
You: i want to run cars
You: cars many doors of speed
You: do you like?
Stranger: what your political view?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: cars
You: like in presidents?
Stranger: what is your car?
You: my father
Stranger: yes
You: red beetl volkswagon
You: very good
You: very fast
Stranger: =O
You: i like negro president
You: osama
Stranger: I have my car yet
You: what is?
Stranger: hahaha
You: what is your car?
Stranger: I would buy a Honda Civic
You: very cool
Stranger: most will take some time
Stranger: here in Brazil are high taxes
You: yes they move fast
You: i am tall too
You: 2 meters
You: i believe in odin and sun jesus, you?
Stranger: Jesus Christ?
You: yes too
Stranger: yes I believe, I'm Catholic
You: im maury
You: one time i eat tree
You: very cool
Stranger: you eat trees?
You: from tree
Stranger: sorry
You: it comes down cut it pieces and eat
You: make chair
You: many things
Stranger: in their country, says a lot about global warming?
You: we invented
You: many things too
You: spectacles
You: for eyes
Stranger: I do not believe it
You: why not
You: you can buy in store very good
You: very strong good for digestion
You: dont think?
Stranger: you understand me wrong!
You: why?
Stranger: I do not believe in global warming!
You: i know some brazil
You: eu som un advogado
Stranger: fala português?
You: only that
Stranger: speak Portuguese?
You: its brazil like you
You: \:\)
Stranger: =O
Stranger: você tá entendendo o que to escrevendo agora?
You: i like salsa and kill bulls with sword
Stranger: haha
You: do you some times?
You: do you go?
You: i like dance and fly in the sky
Stranger: do what?
You: go with bull?
Stranger: I like to dance, but never flew
You: \:\(
Stranger: with bull, never tried
Stranger: What is your age?
You: i see on tv
You: im 18
You: i can see those bull no problem
You: little kids not
Stranger: I also have 18 years
You: very good
You: slap hands
Stranger: you like any sports?
You: beside kill bulls
You: like small people fighting very much
You: and baseball
Stranger: never understood how to play baseball right
You: dont know to play either
You: but very cool to watch
You: very sport
Stranger: twists to some team? in baseball!
You: yes
You: twists very cool
You: swing too
You: charleston
You: all things
You: dance like maniac
Stranger: here in Brazil, the most familiar Football, Voleyboll and Handboll
You: football with all the family yes
You: it make nice team
You: defeat all the others
Stranger: the time there where you live?
You: april and you?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I mean the time
You: what you mean?
You: its very cold sometimes
Stranger: here is 01:42 in the morning
You: sometimes not
You: oh I see
You: it's 12:24
You: is always maury time here
You: ;o


Uschi #1050074 2009-04-03 8:16 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 277
SEX ADDICT
200+ posts
Offline
SEX ADDICT
200+ posts
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 277
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyaa
You: hi
You: Have you ever fucked a cat?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Obviously, that wasn't Beardguy.


Internet Friends:
Nowhereman: Says "cunt" a lot. Is also welsh or something.
Brian Jonopoulos: Greek. Fucks socks. Also jobless and lives at home.
Joe Mamma: Fat
Captain Sammitch: Fucks fat chicks
Stupid Doog: Married to a fat chick
Alt ID #1050176 2009-04-04 2:55 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt
15000+ posts
Offline
The alt
15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
Bruce Springsteen
The Wrestler

Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making its way down the street?
If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, fan, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

Have you ever seen a scarecrow filled with nothing but dust and wheat?
If you've ever seen that scarecrow then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-armed man punching at nothing but the breeze?
If you've ever seen a one-armed man then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

These things that have comforted me, I drive away
This place that is my home I cannot pay
My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display

Have you ever seen a one-legged man trying to dance his way free?
If you've ever seen a one-legged man then you've seen me

Frank Burns #1050217 2009-04-04 12:21 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you)
50000+ posts
Offline
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you)
50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
frank has the strangest chats.

Irwin Schwab #1050338 2009-04-05 3:46 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello.
You: Hold on... taking a shit.
Stranger: oh alright ill wait.
Stranger: eh while your busy ill clean up the cum.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[4 minutes]


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050339 2009-04-05 3:48 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hold on, taking a shit.
You: Could you get me a spoon?
Stranger: for what
You: it's stuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[90 sec]


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050340 2009-04-05 3:49 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: jack?
You: Hold on... taking a shit.
Stranger: oh...jack that's tmi
You: Could you get me a spoon?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[90 sec]


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050341 2009-04-05 3:54 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hold on! I'm almost there...
You: do you have a book?
Stranger: sure
You: good
You: can I borrow it?
Stranger: how?
You: via the interwebs
Stranger: nah
You: you're a right bastard, Jeannine!
You: I try
You: I try so hard ...
You: but the land lady
You: she... she looks at me, you know?
You: I'm a horrible father
You: and I have to stand there!
You: and ...and
You: and nobody LAUGHS
Stranger: freak
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050342 2009-04-05 3:56 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello, clarise
You: I can smell your cunt
Stranger: I'm dont speak english !
Stranger: =p
You: I will raep you with an chainsaw!
Stranger: _l_
Bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050343 2009-04-05 4:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you listen to Huey lewis and the News?
Stranger: no
You: they're a great new band!
You: they really have these edgy lyrics, you know?
You: not just for yuppies
Stranger: maybe i'll check them out.
You: really challenge the established order
You: what's your name?
Stranger: dee. yours?
You: Patrick
Stranger: age?
You: 32
Stranger: 18 here.
You: I got new business cards today/
You: would you like to see them?
You: How about coming to my place later.
Stranger: hahaha right. i'll be right there.
You: We can listen to some Huey Lewis
Stranger: definitely.
Stranger: wait up for me.
You: I have a new sound system
You: I'm a very successful businessman
You: Tell me, do you take care of yourself?
You: Your skin?
Stranger: of course.
You: I make sure my skin is well cared for.
Stranger: that's always good.
You: Do you ever get the urge to just rip someone's intestines out?
Stranger: nope.
You: And watch them slowly die?
Stranger: nahhh, not into that.
You: I think I would like to try some fun things with you.
Stranger: things like that?
You: You can come over
You: I can pop in a CD
You: on my new sound system
You: we can see what happens
You: I have seven mirrors in my bedroom.
You: I can show you them.
Stranger: nice.
You: I have money.
Stranger: i need money.
You: You are a whore, right?
You: You dress like a whore.
Stranger: hahahahaha.
You: Seriously.
You: $200 now
Stranger: where are you?
You: Patrick Bateman
Stranger: you are full of shit
You: I'm a business executive
You: $500 if you can get me off
Stranger: where? pluto?
You: No
You: I can get reservations at Dorcia
You: at the drop of a FUCKING hat!
You: Who the FUCK ARE YOU?!
Stranger: stop being a creeper, this isn't a movie.
You: You can't insult me like that!
You: I'M PATRICK FUCKING BATEMAN!
Stranger: ontd?
You: look
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050344 2009-04-05 4:07 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi I'm David
You: hi
You: hello Dave
Stranger: DAVID
You: I can't say that, Dave
You: I'm Hal
Stranger: Why don't you take a seat right here then.
Stranger: Here, have some cookies.
You: I do not have the proper functioning mobility for that, Dave.
Stranger: http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1238902732318.jpg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050345 2009-04-05 4:19 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: oi
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: I'm Mister Transex
You: no, that's Superman
You: he's about 60 miles north
Stranger: Vc dar a bunda para Ingleses
You: Como esta?
Stranger: Comendo seu rabo todo dia
You: Que pasa, Calavasa?
You: Yo Batman.
Stranger: I'm Transex
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: I'm the flash is the líder of the Justice League
You: Have you seen Joker?
You: He stole my lunch money.
Stranger: yes, pequenininha mas tenho
You: I see.
You: I will visit the Penguin then.
You: and rape them to justice.
You: anally.
Stranger: e eu como seu rabo até amanhecer
You: No, I'm not jewish.
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: Vai dar tua bunda rapá
Stranger: Vai durmir
You: I rape all the criminals in Gotham.
Stranger: éééééé
You: They are a cowardly and superstitious lot.
You: I am a creature of the night.
Stranger: Yes
You: I strike fear in the hearts of evil men!
You: and anuses!
You: I
You: AM
You: BAT-MAN!
Stranger: OK, OK OK OK OK OK
YOu ser o Batman que da a bunda e chupa rola
You: Goats?
You: no
You: that's Marvel
Stranger: ok
You: and donkeys
Stranger: Marvel >>> chupa vara
You: si
Stranger: Si >>. Stranger ys bixa
You: speak english, Friend.
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: speak >>> chupa cú melado de merda
You: Can you say baby-eating-snake-rapist?
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: vc é o maior Kiter do Dota !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

...what's woth all the fucking Brazilians?!


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050346 2009-04-05 4:23 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot
15000+ posts
Offline
faggot
15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
YOu ser o Batman que da a bunda e chupa rola
You be the Batman what from the ass & honeysuckle rolled

chupa vera
honeysuckle rod

chupa cú melado de merda
honeysuckle asshole molasses of crap


LOL!


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #1050348 2009-04-05 4:24 AM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!!
15000+ posts
Offline
Inglourious Basterd!!!
15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
 Originally Posted By: Uschi
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you listen to Huey lewis and the News?
Stranger: no
You: they're a great new band!
You: they really have these edgy lyrics, you know?
You: not just for yuppies
Stranger: maybe i'll check them out.
You: really challenge the established order
You: what's your name?
Stranger: dee. yours?
You: Patrick
Stranger: age?
You: 32
Stranger: 18 here.
You: I got new business cards today/
You: would you like to see them?
You: How about coming to my place later.
Stranger: hahaha right. i'll be right there.
You: We can listen to some Huey Lewis
Stranger: definitely.
Stranger: wait up for me.
You: I have a new sound system
You: I'm a very successful businessman
You: Tell me, do you take care of yourself?
You: Your skin?
Stranger: of course.
You: I make sure my skin is well cared for.
Stranger: that's always good.
You: Do you ever get the urge to just rip someone's intestines out?
Stranger: nope.
You: And watch them slowly die?
Stranger: nahhh, not into that.
You: I think I would like to try some fun things with you.
Stranger: things like that?
You: You can come over
You: I can pop in a CD
You: on my new sound system
You: we can see what happens
You: I have seven mirrors in my bedroom.
You: I can show you them.
Stranger: nice.
You: I have money.
Stranger: i need money.
You: You are a whore, right?
You: You dress like a whore.
Stranger: hahahahaha.
You: Seriously.
You: $200 now
Stranger: where are you?
You: Patrick Bateman
Stranger: you are full of shit
You: I'm a business executive
You: $500 if you can get me off
Stranger: where? pluto?
You: No
You: I can get reservations at Dorcia
You: at the drop of a FUCKING hat!
You: Who the FUCK ARE YOU?!
Stranger: stop being a creeper, this isn't a movie.
You: You can't insult me like that!
You: I'M PATRICK FUCKING BATEMAN!
Stranger: ontd?
You: look
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Aweshome.


Uschi said:
I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry.

MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost!

"I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock

[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]
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