RKMBs Forums SEPTEMBER 2003

i went to bed bath and beyond, tho. clearly the mecca for masculinity.

i had to buy new sheets cuz i broke my old ones. lets not talk about that.

laquanda needed to go, so i brought her, and my sidekick, the sexy and lucious alexis. we did our thing. sex in the car! ... and shopping. then, went to outback steakhouse. hadn't been there in a while, so i enjoyed the steak beasting.

back to boken. hung out.

lq left to go to some soul food joint for her bday. that aint fo' me. lex and i just hung out and i drank while watching her get over her headache.

lq and keisha eventually came over at 11 that night. we ponged. hardcore pong. jungle juice pong. borderline hardcore nudity jungle juice pong.

noice.

hanging out is fun. drinking while hanging out with hot chicks that have big thingies is incredibly fun.

hizzah for 3 pairs of boxers!

sunday was a hodgepodge, loosely planned day of RFL football.

cati showed up. scottie showed up. lq eventually showed up.

jets... .... sadly, ... the jets also showed up. man, do they suckass. its so hurtful watching'em. why, lord... why must they be so not-good? why?! whyyyyy!!??

for your viewing pleasure, here are additional punctuation points:

????!!!! ?!?!?!!!1!!!!!!!

yeah, i saw that "1" slip in there.

renegade!

we drank a bit. lq and roxy eventually showed up.

iliana and her cousin stopped by at one point. hadn't seen ili in some time. she's one of those "hard to get a hold of" kinda people. plus, she's columbian. you know how that goes.

...

racist!

people left. girls watched sex in the city, despite this being my apartment. nih.

i got some work done in the meantime, then drove lex home.

drove back. read comics. went to sleep. woke up. showered. came to work.

and here i sit. miserable. disgusting weather. bleak and dismal. and abyssmal. and dissmissal. and missel. toe.

im bored.

playing bubblets now. its a game (aka jawbreaker) that i've become addicted to on a tetris-like level.

very simple, but very much like cocaine.

well, beer... we've had some great times...

...when i was 17
i drank some very good beer

i drank some very good beer, i purchased with a fake ID

my name was "brian mcgee"

i stayed up listening to queen

...when i was 17...

kinda nice out. but me am tired.

i had an appraiser show up yesterday. why? cuz im refinancing. this'll be my 4th mortgage is just over 2 years.

my aresenal of super powers is unstoppable!

noon. noonish, anyway.

sun is shinin outside.

i gotta find a new apartment. and a new car. and a new job. and lex a new cell phone.

hizzah!

day dreaming.

what would life be like without day dreaming? how much more dull and drab would my days be? how much actual work would i consistantly get done?

how wonderfuly boring would my weblog get?

....

...sha la la laaaa...

and, as always, its the morning.

beat as all get out today. get out!

lex was all sortsa freaky last night, so i went to her house for a bit, to shine my boyish charm. even took her to the local olive garden. go figure. why the fuck don't i have stock in that place?

she had some martinis and breadsticks and hopefully enough salad to make her stop worrying so much. oh well. at least her worrying is now routine.

i dropped her off at her house at around 8, cuz she had work to do and papers and preparation and whatever. ... she really didn't, but she likes to over prepare herself for things, so she has adequate worrying time.

i simply headed to the boken.

once there, i called up lq and took her out for a few hours of drinking and stress-blowing-off.

she was chillin with roxy and jamilet, but they took off, so just the two of us went to helmars across the street for some lindeman's.

she sat inside, for whatever reason. didn't matter, i guess.

the seats at the bar are quite annoying. they're too close to one another, so you have that "im too close to you" awkward talking feeling. then, they're too tall for gentlemen of my stature.

actually, they were just too tall for any one (i saw some regular sized, "normal" people bothered by them, as well). they're just too tall to comfortably place your feet on the lil rung at the bottom, but not tall enough so that you can rest your feet on the internal stool rungs.

annoying and uncomfortable.

anyway, we had a buncha beers. i drank'em fast, as usual. the bartender lady wanted to cut me off after 2, cuz she said i drank'em too fast. hizzotch!

i was fine with that. ... but then lq said she was gonna get another, and i was peer pressured. and how.

more drinking, more uncomfortable sitting.

i walked her home, cuz she lives in "that" part of town. saw her apt -- its purdy nice! then, we all had sex.

all these weather reports are indicating that hurricaine isable is on its way. they've been promoting it like its the latest summer blockbuster, and simply assuming it'll cause rampant destruction to all sortsa crap.

the nyc area isn't really hurricaine prone. we're sorta in the "get the fuck outta here" area of the country, that not only isn't conducive to hurricaines, it'd probably just get angry at them.

odds are, at worst, all we'll get is rain.

hundreds of times, just this past winter, alone, we were promised "storm of the century" type blizzards. many of those times it didn't even flurry.

lets see, isabel.

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeawn.

mm. morning breath.

windy outside, but not hurricaining yet. i verbed it. that, too.

real nice outside yesterday. i had plans, but they were broken, so i spent as much time as possible outside. just sittin. enjoyin.

watched boobies bounce by.

lovely!

mmm... breakfast bagel sammidge....

bagle. bagel.

...

i know its one of the two. fuck, do i hate spelling. well, whatever the fuck i had, it was delicious! but now, im still tired and its too hot in here and too humid outside and friday's are too long.

hey!

its my dad's birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!!

so, just as i suspected, isabel amounted to a big pile of windy crap.

ew.

really, nothin happened. not in my concrete canyon. there was a buncha chaos in, say, maryland and pennsylvania, but... no one cares about those places.

the days of me getting a new logan are coming closer and closer. he's like 140 now.

i dont really wanna replace him, and i clearly can't totally afford to replace him, but... i need a car that isn't going to explode in 2 days.

so, im in the process of trying to decide what i can get.

im leaning towards gettin another jeep wrangler. i think they fit me best.

short. tough. kinda funny lookin. but they'll fuck you up if you get in their way.

holy crap, i'm tired. and i hate the fall, which is the season we're currently suffering through.

i guess i'm sposda do some sorta weekend recap, or some such shit, right?

nih.

first, lemme whine and bitch.

i'm TIIIIIRED!!! my face is hot and sticky and scrunchy and this place blows and its nasty outside and its too early and im hungry and i wanna puke and i hate the word 'puke' and i wanna go home and i wanna go to sleep!

so friday. weather was nice. got outta work. picked up lex, and i was out.

we drove to the boken and decided to eat outside. and... we did. what the fuck, i just said that.

we went to dippers, one of our usuals. ate. drank. laughed. she looked all sortsa good, as only she can. i was there, too. someone had to pay for the meal.

we hung out for quite a while at dippers. normally, we dont have a choice cuz the service is so futzin slow. but on friday, we wanted to stay (even though the service was pretty fast this time around!)

we were just havin a good time laughin and eating and, of course, drinking. i liked the weather too, tho i know lex hates bein outside. oh well!

after a few hours of drinkin and hangin, we took off for the store. it was already starting to get dark outside, because its that shitty time of year. maybe 7 or 8 pm, i dont remember. whatever it was, it was dark and way earlier than it used to be. that sucks.

i hate autumn.

its an on-going thing.

we shopped a bit. walked a bit. got some booze. eventually ended up back in the boken locale, settin up some beer pong and makin some snacks.

after a bit, laquanda came over. she was gonna go out for the night, but wanted a place to hang before she bounced.

we all ended up playing beer pong -- clearly something we've all never done before every day this week!

most wonderfully, lq and lex put on nice lil shows for me, involving hugging and boobies and stuff. les-tastic!

that more or less concluded the friday night festivities. rest assured, i couldn't stand up straight for their dances. noice.

saturday was sposda be beautiful, i and i wanted to go down to the shore. we've had so much shitty weather this summer AND spring, that i wanted to capitalize on the not-so-bad days we had left.

and, since saturday was sposda be sunny and in the 80s, that qualified.

so, at day break (around 10 am), lex and i headed to the joisey shore, towards sandy hook

i've never been to sandy hook before. i go to the beach a lot, but, typically LBI or wildwood or even belmar. this is new turf.

my dad recomended it. and, best of all, its super close -- one of the closest shore points in the area, especially good for my northern ass.

after like 45 minutes, we were already there, parking, and walking on the sand. ironically, "sandy hook" isn't all that sandy. the beach is tiny rocks and shells, with a dash of sand.

liars!

whatever. it was a beautiful day. we got to lay out in the sun, even walk out a few feet into the water to stand on the sand bar.

took a little convincing to get lex in the water, even if only waist deep, but she was a good sport.

most of the day was spent lounging in the sun. neither of us are big "hooray for tanning" people, but laying in the sun, especially on the beach, is always nice. just me and my girl.

and a hillbilly.

most of my life is dedicated to stereotyping. i love stereotypes! they really help make the world go 'round, especially when it comes to the ritualized classification of every human being on the planet. by me.

i've had the pleasure of seeing, even dealing with, many-a-stereotype in my life, but this might have been one of the better examples.

he didn't have a pick up truck (well, he might have, but we were on the beach, so i didn't see it). but he met many other category requirements.

• he was probably in his early 40s.
• not a horrible build.
• military-like haircut.
• mustache.
• bret hart sunglasses.
• chest hair.
• gold(ish) chains.

wait, it gets better.

• beer cans
• cooler with more beer cans
• beer can condoms
• severe anger over the dropping of beer
• brought his dog (to the beach)
• dog had a chain made from chain
• unleashed dog
• brought many old, beat up chairs
• brought his stereo
• listened to classic tunes, like "free bird"
• propped up stereo on an old, red milk crate
• placed stereo 10 feet away and directed it at self

c'mon, man. thats beauty.

while he's blabbin on to his family and various in laws that he brought with him (of course), he's also complaining about some cop who had the audacity of "cuffing and printing" him a few days prior.

imagine that!

so, it was just me, my lex, and the hill billy. lets call him "rick steiner: the dog-faced gremlin" just for kicks.

after a few hours of beachin and relaxin, we took off for home.

sandy hook was nice, over all. great because it was super close and relatively empty (as far as beaches go). but it had hillbillies and many europeans, plus a rocky/shelly water front. gotsta take the good with the bad, i guess.

lex and i were pretty beat when we got back into town, and it was prolly close to 5 or so.

bein the hungry lot we were, we hit up the far side.

at least i think we did.

my mind is farting right now (ew) cuz i can't clearly remember which day is which. fuck, i hate when that happens. surely, it has nothing to do with the fact that i drink 600 vials of alcohol on a weekly basis. compounded with the fact that i use terms like "vials" and "compounded" in my blog.

mm.

yes, mm.

yeah. we did the farside thing. ... yes...

she got some ribs or some such. i got fish. yes, fish. im continuing my fish-eating ways. its not amazing, and certainly never filling, but... i dunno, its brain food, aint it? and lookit how well its working!

..

so, after eating then downing 9 or 10 beers a piece, we did some walkin about the town, being unusually nice weather still. really a beautiful night. i even got some frozenmonkeycafe "ice cream." why did i link that? i dunno. because i could!

sunday was a big gathering o'peeps at my gramma's house. in theory, it was the final gathering at 187 oakdene avenue.

after 60 years of living there, my grandparents are moving to a new locale, to better assist them, now that they're older. notta retirement home, its a regular place -- an apartment in a condo, in fact. they just needed something with no stairs and newer facilities n'stuff, thats all.

now, for the 24 christmasses i've thus far experienced, as well as dozens prior to me, christmas was spent at my grandparents house. all 50 aunts and uncles and 7,000 cousins, or how ever many, would show up and eat and take random photos that no one ever saw developed, then go home.

hizzah hizzah.

well, this year, no hizzah. they're moving fairly soon, probably in the next week or two, and thus, will not make christmas.

the new place is, reportedly, too small. other houses have yet to volunteer. in short, christmas as we knew it is over.

more on that later.

for now, we all sorta knew that and wanted one more "hooray for rob!" party. ... wait, not 'rob', i meant 'us.'

yes.

so, most everyone showed and loved it. there was sammidges and food and desserts and party supplies and too many fucking babies and aunts and uncles and cousins and families and all the typical stuff. even the photo.

grandparents were really happy. some of the moms cried.

i brought alexis, who of course, had them misties o'hers workin. she came prepared, tho. extra packets of tissues.

overall, it was a really nice day. beautiful weather, great chance to meet up with the fam, and all that good jazz. my tv-like family reigned supreme, for at least one more adventure.

i have no idea where christmas goes from here.

when presented with the opportunity of simply moving the event to gramma's new apartment or even 'the dolph,' my mom passed on the ideas. she wasn't fond of having it in randolph and said gramma's new place is too small (which it isn't. its no smaller than their current place -- at least in terms of where everyone hangs for christmas).

i've prompted my internal familia as to their response to the scenario. trying to see if they wanna work something out to simply relocate the event.

i'm calling it "operation ghostdog 2"

we'll see how that pans out.

oh that ghostdog!

anyway...

after gramma's, lex and i took off for the boken. having no alcohol in our systems, we, of course, needed to address this travesty.

off to east l.a.s!

we walked slow cuz it was so damn nice out, and cuz lex is too damn cute to walk quickly.

...awww...

we plopped down and began feasting on the margaritas. they're legendary. there's a big sign up at the bar that says women are limited to 2 -- they simply will not serve a girl a third, because the drinks are so powerful.

me, i downed three and felt little-to-nothing.

science and nature are once more aided by booze - i'm a boy!

after an hour or so, my sisters mary and laura paraded down the street with a few of their friends. we said various amounts of hellos n'such.

sunday was mary's bday (happy bday mary!!) so this was part of laura's celebration package for her.

they headed off towards some other place and lex and i stayed to wine and dine at ours.