Finally, after all the anticipation, the buildup, the video packages, and all the stalling, finally it was time for the match.
The Big Cheese title sat on a pedestal at ringside for all to see.
The guest ring announcer was Franta. The guest timekeeper was Roy Batty. "Ode to Joy" sounded throughout the Cheesedome as the special referee, RDCW Commissioner, Doc Paragon made his way down to the ring in his sleeveless ref shirt.
MarcuM: "Look at those guns, Monroe! Makes your arms look like toothpicks!"
King Snarf then entered the arena with portable karaoke machine in hand, singing his own theme song "Beloved Eternal Beloved" that he apparently wrote himself. As the boos and garbage rained down, Snarf continued to sing, to no one's enjoyment.
Captain Sammitch then strode into the arena. No music, no pyro, no flashy gimmicks. Sammitch simply WAS. (His overcoat looked AWESHOME.)
The bout got underway and Sammitch commenced hammering Snarf with a series of chops and knee strikes! Snarf went for a headlock. Sammitch maneuvered out and delivered a back leg round kick to the
STERNUM!!!!!!!!!!
Snarf called for a bout of carefree hugging.
Sammitch hit a series of elbow strikes!
Snarf didn't want to have any input into the match writeup.
Sammitch rammed him from pillar to post!
Snarf bitched about not having any input into the match writeup.
Sammitch delivered a Sammitch Slam!
Snarf called him a poltroon.
Sammitch ran the ropes delivering a flying clothesline!
Snarf called him a jackanape.
Sammitch went at Snarf from behind!
Snarf called him beloved.
Sammitch hit the infamous Sammitch Suplexes, knocking Snarf out of the ring!
Snarf stumbled around ringside, managing to hit on Sweet Marlene in the front row (who is a married woman, I would remind you). She stood up and slapped him as Killconey came out of the crowd, chasing Snarf around the ring!
Snarf called for a time out as he ran up the rampway. Security escorted Killconey back to the back. Snarf continued up the rampway until Chewy Walrus emerged from behind the curtain! He speared Snarf onto the ground and carried him back to the ring, throwing him inside!
Snarf rolled back out and pulled a box of Hawaiian shirts from under the ring, pulling them out of the box.
Sammitch SWEPT THE LEG!!!!!!!!
Sammitch hit the BBW Bomb on Snarf and went for the pin!
Paragon dropped to the mat and counted ONE!. . .TWO!. . .
Paragon stopped the count and extended his middle fingers at Sammitch.
Sammitch cried out WTF?!
Monroe: It's a setup!
MarcuM: Brilliant! Our GM's a genius!
Sammitch got up to argue with Paragon as Snarf attempted to recover. Snarf grabbed Sammitch, who turned and nailed him with a spinkick!
Sammitch turned back to Paragon who hit him with a chain around his fist! Sammitch hit the mat! Snarf rolled on top of him!
Paragon counted ONE!. . .TWO!. . .
He stopped and flipped off Snarf as well!
Snarf: My good man, what tomfoolery in the name of my beloved wrestling is this?
Paragon kicked him in the
STERNUM!!!!!!!!!!1
and dropped him on top of Sammitch!
Paragon covered both men and counted ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!
Paragon: Ring the bell! Ring the damn bell!
As Roy Batty rang the bell, Franta made the announcement, "The Winner of the match and NEW RDCW BIG CHEESE WORLD CHAMPION. . .DOC PARAGON!!!!!!!!!"
Monroe: "What. . .what just happened here?"
MarcuM: "I'm stunned at our GM's brilliance!"
Roy Batty jumped into the ring with the belt placing it around Paragon's waist as Paragon rubbed at his eyes.
Monroe: What is he doing?
MarcuM: He's not crying, Monroe! He's got something in his eyes!
Batty poured champagne over Paragon's head, washing the white coloring out of his hair, revealing dark hair.
Monroe: What the. . .
Paragon continued pulling at his skin, tearing off an elaborate latex disguise revealing his true identity to the world at large. . .
Monroe: IT'S GRIMM!!! Doc Paragon was really Grimm all this time!
MarcuM: OH MY GOB!!!!!!!!
