I have Xfinity cable and U-verse internet

Comcast wants me to add Xfinity internet, and AT&T wants me to add U-Verse TV.

I can't add one without cancelling the other and getting charged early cancellation fees.

Both companies swear up and down that they're better than the other.

Yet they're both in the top ten worst companies in terms of basic customer courtesy.

Pick one or am pick URG to bash in their ugly faces.

There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes, and maybe it’s too much for us, but it’s all on you. Because if we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we’ll avenge it.

Hello?
Put Natasha on the phone.
Who is this?
This is her fucking son's father. Who is this?
This is her fucking son.
..........oh.......
Call back in 20 minutes. *click*

Boy, you could get lost in a sky like that. I wish I had those balloons again.