I wanted to wait a little longer and get more responses, but I'm not certain when I'll be able to use a computer again this week.
I haven't lost anyone. And that's probably more significant in terms of change than what I'm dealing with right now. I have some perspective now, but I'm still feeling pretty shitty and uncertain of the future. Some background....
Over the past several days, I've gotten into multiple shouting matches with my superiors. Their tendency towards playing political fuck-fuck games, wasting time and resources on CYA, and constantly writing up new self-conflicting policies--that seem to materialize on a bi-monthly basis--has inexorably put the enlisted command staff (of which I am technically a part of) in direct competition with the commissioned officers. While the issue of enlisted and lower-enlisted being able to complete a delegated task within a given set of environmental constraints and numerous executive constraints in a timely manner is an age-old topic that existed long before my military career, from my position it has achieved such amazing levels of stupid that I am on the verge of a peptic ulcer-migraine combo.
Above all else, I understand that these problems are not necessarily the fault of the people on our level, and more likely the friction is caused primarily by the rules being foisted upon our unit (and everyone else) by the chain of command at least five echelons above us. That being said, the command staff's blind, zombie-like obedience to these nonsensical and DOWNRIGHT-FUCKING-DESTRUCTIVE policies is demoralizing. The higher enlisted would never outright state that the Brigade policy is fucking stupid (at least not in so many words) to the OICs (Officer in Charge) or the Battalion Commander, but we would be remiss not to state the deficiencies incurred upon the mission by policy. Unfortunately, no matter how often or how subtly we try to make these points to the brass, they're very politely (i.e. passive aggressively) thrown back in our faces with the implicit claim that we're making up excuses for our own incompetence (all of my assignments prior to this one at least had the grace to admit they're being bent over a barrel by the people above them, but not these fuckers. It doesn't necessarily help to be told that you're a casualty of out-of-touch hierarchies, but it at least lets you know that the people you're working with are on the same wavelength).
Apparently, when you're in for at least 15-20 years, it's easy enough to be talked down to by people for whom you have no reverence because you don't take anything they say seriously, and as such my team doesn't really care anymore about whether or not the highers understand the problem. However, because I am the only one of four enlisted, and two prior-enlisted officers, who's been in for less than ten years, this crap has affected me a lot more than it has them. I could not stop myself from being angry at, essentially, everything, and of course I should have known it was going to get me in trouble since I have to talk to everyone--which doesn't even make any FUCKING sense because I'm an E-5 promotable, not even a staff sergeant (at company level, you never have to put up with that kind of breakdown in the chain of command).
Long story short because I don't want to dwell on it anymore: a section OIC (I call him Captain Fuckface) goaded me into an argument within earshot of the Battalion Commander who jumped on me for essentially quoting army regulations to Fuckface in response to his ridiculous demands of my section. In what seemed like an act born of pure spite, the BC spoke directly to my de-facto NCOIC (Non-Commission Officer in Charge) on behalf of fuckface (technically, I'm an NCOIC of my own section, so she's not officially within my immediate chain of command). Suffice it to say, this motivated her to hold some water for the senior command staff and go outside of her lane to lecture me in a semi-public forum on being "lawyerly" and inflexible. I didn't want to fight with her because I actually like her a lot, but I wasn't in a mood for that crap and so I dragged us both into an admittedly unprofessional shout-fest. People definitely overheard this spat, and now the word is that I might be a misogynist and subject to SHARP (Sexual Harassment Prevention) investigation. I do not believe for a moment that she would make such a charge herself and I'm still on good terms with the lower-enlisted, so I can only guess it's the command staff spreading that little rumor around. To top it off, I inadvertently made a fool of the sergeant major in front of a general with a presentation I put together for the BUB (Battalion Update Brief). I don't like the man; he's a total asshole and premier example of nepotism and charlatanry, but had I known that I was about to draw out his idiocy into the public so unprofessionally, I would have adjusted fire and made sure my material synched with his so there would be no discrepancies. He is now, most certainly, gunning for me.
My term ends in January. I was 95% certain of reenlistment until this months-long episode occurred. Aside from the fact that my leadership is sure to threaten my eligibility for re-up, I'm not sure I want to put up with this anymore. The alternative to staying, however, will be the first time I've ever actually struck out on my own in the superlative sense. The better part of a decade ago, I moved out of my parents house to live on my own only to decide it would be more prudent to join the army, so I've never really had any true alone time. I've qualified for base housing in the past, but rent was taken out of my paycheck; I never really had to worry about housing in the budgetary sense. I have two degrees, but I haven't actually used them, so my resume is going to look sketchy.
I'm in California at the moment, but I don't really want to stay here since it's so expensive (plus I hate it here). So I have to figure out where would be the best place to go and what I'm going to do when I get there. I'm really thrown for a loop right since I wasn't going to start this process until I approached the fifteen year point. Now I'm kinda fucked.
