RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Media Savage reviews

Upon release, the film was poorly received by critics.[9] Leonard Maltin gave the film two stars, calling it a "fitfully amusing juvenile horror comedy".[3] Chicago Tribune reviewer Mark Caro wrote, "The Crypt tradition is ghoulish irreverence, but here it seems merely a hip excuse to stoop low."[25] The Deseret News wrote, "For a horror-comedy film to work, it's got to be both funny and scary. Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is neither. Instead, it's only a bath of blood and bare skin, with some lame wisecracks thrown in for bad measure."[2] Writing for The Washington Post, Richard Harrington said, "Triple the length of its cable television inspiration, Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is triple the gore, triple the naked women, but not, alas, triple the fun."[26] Variety panned the film, writing, "another cheesy goulash of smart-alecky humor and full-bore gore, spiced with more shots of topless lovelies than you'd find in a '60s sexploitation flick. Adolescent boys might groove to the mix, but most other ticketbuyers will avoid this tawdry opus like the plague."[27] TV Guide gave the film 1 out of 5 stars, writing, "Miller is the best thing about the film, but a little of him goes a long way, and he's on screen a lot. [...] This is a travesty, and if Tales From the Crypt publisher Bill Gaines isn't spinning in his grave, it can only be because someone's already put a stake through his heart."[28] Peter Stack of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote, "Bordello of Blood, ... easily could have been called 'Bore-dello of Blood.' This gory vampire spoof is remarkably free of jolts, hardly registering as a fright film, with a series of weak special effects involving many globs of guts."[29]

The New York Times critic Lawrence Gelder wrote, "Vampires aren't the only things in Bordello of Blood that can't stand up to daylight. Neither can the plot."[30] Austin Chronicle critic Marc Savlov gave the film 1 out of 5 stars, calling it "The Dennis Miller Show… with nekkid vampire-vixens."[31] Exclaim! writer Robert Bell gave the film 4 out of 10, writing, "Tales from the Crypt was known for its twist endings, morality parables and askew sensibility; this feature shared none of those traits, and wouldn't be recognizable as a part of the series without the presence of the Cryptkeeper bookending the film."[16] Dread Central gave the film a score of 2 out of 5, writing, "If you told me the screenwriters dug through Miller’s trash and inserted his discarded one-liners into the script, I would have no problem believing it. Not a single one of his lines works, and every time he opens his mouth it only further reinforces the fact he was so very, very wrong for this role."[9] Allmovie also gave the film a score of two stars out of five, writing, "Even with its obligatory Crypt Keeper bookends, the 87-minute Bordello of Blood seems as inflated as the many surgically enhanced breasts on display."[4]

However, not all reviews were negative. The Los Angeles Times writer Jack Matthews gave the film a favorable review, calling it a "bloody good vehicle for Dennis Miller", writing, "What it lacks in irony and suspense, Gilbert Adler's Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood makes up for in whimsy and cheeky self-assurance. [...] This is the version of Dracula that Bram Stoker would have written with the collaboration of Mel Brooks and the Marquis de Sade over drinks at Hooters."[32] Arrow in the Head also reviewed the film favorably, giving it a score of 6 out of 10, writing, "this second entry in the Tales From The Crypt big screen series doesn’t fully measure up to its predecessor, but sill manages to deliver a mindless fun ride".[33] ComingSoon.net wrote that "Bordello is in many ways a superior Tales from the Crypt entry. Adler had previously directed episodes of the show and the film feels like an amplified episode, brightly lit, garish and tricked out with even more sleaze, sex, blood and general luridness".[6] The Digital Bits wrote, "Despite itself, Bordello of Blood is a fun movie. It’s not the best in the Tales from the Crypt series, but it’s miles above [Ritual]. [...] Sure there are plenty of eye-rolling moments, [...] but it’s worth a couple of watches... especially to see William Sadler as a mummy."[10]

The film holds a 12% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 33 reviews, and the average rating is 3.2/10. The consensus states: "Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material".[34]