Results courtesy of PWTorch.com
(1) RK-BRO (Riddle & Randy Orton) vs. THE STREET PROFITS (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) vs. THE ALPHA ACADEMY (Chad Gable & Otis)
As RK-Bro came out, they went to the announcers at ringside. Smith said RK-Bro was “the team that wasn’t supposed to last.” When Gable “shoosh’d” everyone, Ford slapped him. A brawl broke out. Otis cleared the ring. Ford did a leaping flip dive onto a crowd at ringside, and then landed on his feet. Gable climbed to the top rope next and landed a moonsault onto a crowd at ringside. Otis took control against Riddle in the ring. Ford re-entered the ring eventually. Dawkins tagged in. Riddle knocked Otis out of the ring, then gave a GTS to Dawkins. Riddle crawled and hot-tagged in Orton for a big pop. He landed a powerslam on Ford and then played to the crowd. Ford yanked Orton to ringside and tried to ram him into the announce desk, but Orton blocked it and slammed him on the desk. He did the same to Gable. Orton rolled back into the ring. Orton and Riddle gave stereo draping DDTs to Dawkins and Ford. They signaled for RKOs, but Otis and Gable yanked them out of the ring.
Otis lifted Ford onto his shoulders. Gable then leaped off the top rope with a bulldog for a near fall. Ford landed on his feet after an Otis catapult. The Profits then gave a top rope blockbuster combo to Gable for a near fall. Chaos broke out. Ford climbed to the top rope, but Riddle gave him an RKO off the top rope. “You have got to be kidding me!” exclaimed Graves. Gable leaped off the top rope, but Orton caught him mid-air with an RKO for the win. Orton was bleeding from above his right eye.
WINNERS: RK-Bro in 12:00. (**3/4)
(An energetic crowd-pleasing opening tag match. Essentially a spotfest, but they managed to give every big spot a chance to breathe. How many predicted a break-up between Orton and Riddle before this night or on this night, but it doesn’t feel like a tag team partnership that should end anytime soon.)
-Riddle and Orton hugged during their celebration. The Profits entered with red Solo cups for themselves and Orton and Riddle. They called Gable Stevenson into the ring. He stood on the ring apron to a polite reaction. They gave him a red Solo cup, also. Gable entered and slapped the cup away. Steveson yanked off his shirt and stared down Gable. As Chad began to talk, Steveson yanked the mic away from him. Chad yanked it back. He told Steveson he’s new and has a lot to learn. He told him to shoosh when he’s in his presence. Steveson gave Chad a bearhug into an overhead suplex. Steveson eyed the hard camera afterward as the announcers gushed about him. He then joined the Profits and RK-Bro at ringside for the red Solo cup toast the Chad interrupted.
(2) OTIS vs. BOBBY LASHLEY
Otis came out first. Then a video recap aired of the set-up for this match. Lashley then made his entrance. He was without MVP and he played to the crowd. Lashley went for a kick right after the bell, but Omos swatted him away. He got in a few blows on Lashley. Lashley’s comeback attempt was thwarted right away. He clawed Lashley’s face with two hands. Lashley powered the arms off of his face. “Oh my god!” exclaimed Graves. Omos then knocked Lashley down with a forearm to his chest. Lashley got up and slapped him. Omos fired back with Diesel-style elbows in the corner. Lashley avoided a charging Omos and then hit him with a forearm. Lashley rolled to the floor and was nearly counted out. Lashley got up and clotheslined Omos on the ring apron. He leaped off the second rope, but Omos caught him and lifted him onto his shoulders. He lifted and dropped him to the mat.
Omos lifted Lashley into a bearhug and then rammed Lashley in the corner turnbuckles. Lashley faded, but eventually broke free. He landed a running forearm and then managed to suplex Omos. He stood and played to the crowd, pumping his arms. He then speared Omos from behind and then another spear from the front for the clean win.
WINNER: Lashley in 7:00. (*1/4)
(Omos is very limited, but they got the most out of what he can do with a pretty dramatic battle between two powerful opponents. It wasn’t obvious to me who they’d give the win to, and this is a big endorsement of Lashley and indicates plans for him in main events for the rest of the year. I’m curious what this portends for Omos going forward.)
(3) SAMI ZAYN vs. JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
Sami came out first. Knoxville came out second, wearing a white cape and full red and white body suit with a cape. Sami charged and nailed him at the bell in the face with a Helluva kick. Sami threw Knoxville around ringside and then taunted his Jackass buddies in the front row. He shoved one of them. Knoxville sprayed Sami with a fire extinguisher. He then pulled a garbage can with crutches in it out from under the ring. Sami recovered and kicked Knoxville and threw him into the ring. Sami limped around on the crutch, then bashed Knoxville with it. Cole cited Fred Sanford “for those of you from the ’70s.” McAfee said, “Nobody’s from the ’70s watching this.” (That’s like 60 percent of WWE’s current demographic!) Sami reached under the ring, but pulled his hand out and acted like he was hurt. He pulled up the ring apron and there was a table covered in mouse traps. He told Knoxville he was crazy for putting that under the ring. He set up the table at ringside, the re-entered the ring. Knoxville bashed Sami on his ears with two trash can lids, using them like cymbals.
Knoxville propped a table in the corner and then tried to suplex Sami. Sami blocked it and gave Knoxville an exploder through the table. When Sami charged Knoxville, Knoxville held up an air horn and stopped him. One of Knoxville’s crew, “Party Boy,”
entered the ring and shoved Sami while dancing around. He stripped off his shirt and pants. Knoxville said he’s seen most of that guys bodyparts than any other man, and he has been in a lot of locker rooms. Sami threw him out of the ring. Knoxville rolled up Sami from behind for a near fall. Sami took Johnny down with a forearm, then stomped away at “Naked Boy” (“Party Boy”) at ringside. Another Knoxville crew guy, “We Man,” attacked Sami. He’s a little person. He bodyslammed Sami. “Are you kidding me?!” exclaimed an excited Cole. Knoxville gave Sami a tornado DDT for a two count. “We Man” pulled a metal stand with an attached lower leg prosthetic. Sami fought off Knoxville, then gave We Man a kick to the head. Fans booed.
Sami climbed to the top rope, but Knoxville set off pyro from the ringpost. Sami fell down in the corner. Knoxville then bowled a bowling ball into Sami’s spread legs. “That was a ballsy move by Knoxville!” said Cole. Knoxville then used that contraption to kick Sami between his legs. At ringside, Sami tried to run, but then he walked into a gigantic hand that Knoxville swung into his face. Back in the ring, Sami suplexed Knoxville. Cole said Sami might be done playing games. Sami climbed to the top rope. Knoxville zapped him in the balls area. Cole said he won’t be able to have kids after tonight. Knoxville then slammed Sami onto the table full of mouse traps at ringside. The Jackass crew pulled a gigantic human-sized mouse trap out from under the ring and then slid it into the ring. Knoxville zapped Sami again. Sami landed on his back on the mouse trap. Knoxville set off the trap. It didn’t work at first when he pulled a string and the string broke, but Knoxville set off the trap manually and it snapped onto Sami’s chest. He then scored a three count.
WINNER: Knoxville in 15:00.
(That was rather excruciating, but that was the point. I can’t believe the mouse trap prop broke when Knoxville tried to trigger it. Of all things to go wrong. The crowd seemed to eat it up, I think. If you haven’t watched the “Jackass” movies, this likely felt like unwelcome sideshow of slapstick zaniness. But Knoxville played his part well and Sami was a delightful foil and spot on with his tone and mannerisms throughout. One might call it stupid fun.)
