A Private Letter To Prometheus. No One Else Read. - 2007-12-02 1:09 AM
Pro,
You have sullied my horse's good name for the last time. Also, I still can't get the smell out of my bathroom. I've tried everything from Glade Plug-ins to an exorcism. The paint is peeling. May I suggest a change in diet? There is also the subject of the unfinished tree fort in the backyard. A 2x4 strapped to a tree limb with bungee cord is not the Ewok Village 3000 that you promised me.
It has occurred to me that you are not the friend you pretended to be. I must admit that the clues were subtle and took me looking at the whole picture to understand. Like the time you borrowed my kidney. You never gave it back. I'm seriously beginning to doubt that even needed it to begin with. Or the time when you hid hamburger in my shoes so that the border dogs would chase me after we went to see your friend in Tijuana for your 'medicine'. How about the time that you sold my house while I was out of town? I only asked you to pick up the mail. I understand that alone these things don't seem like much; but once I thought about them at the same time, I realized that you were taking my friendship for granted.
After much deliberation, I have finally agreed with my therapist and decided to end our friendship. The time has come for me to start forging friendships with people who don't like to use other people for their own gains like Courtney Love or Corey Haim.
Your former friend,
thedoctor
P.S.
I'm returning the decoder ring.
You have sullied my horse's good name for the last time. Also, I still can't get the smell out of my bathroom. I've tried everything from Glade Plug-ins to an exorcism. The paint is peeling. May I suggest a change in diet? There is also the subject of the unfinished tree fort in the backyard. A 2x4 strapped to a tree limb with bungee cord is not the Ewok Village 3000 that you promised me.
It has occurred to me that you are not the friend you pretended to be. I must admit that the clues were subtle and took me looking at the whole picture to understand. Like the time you borrowed my kidney. You never gave it back. I'm seriously beginning to doubt that even needed it to begin with. Or the time when you hid hamburger in my shoes so that the border dogs would chase me after we went to see your friend in Tijuana for your 'medicine'. How about the time that you sold my house while I was out of town? I only asked you to pick up the mail. I understand that alone these things don't seem like much; but once I thought about them at the same time, I realized that you were taking my friendship for granted.
After much deliberation, I have finally agreed with my therapist and decided to end our friendship. The time has come for me to start forging friendships with people who don't like to use other people for their own gains like Courtney Love or Corey Haim.
Your former friend,
thedoctor
P.S.
I'm returning the decoder ring.
from the letter.
