RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Politics and Current Events loved or feared?

would you rather be feared? or loved?

A few years back, I was put in charge of the training program at my office, and I ended up training all new people who came through. With an average training program that lasts 9 monthes to a year, I found myself swamped with work (at one point I was juggling four trainees at a time) and my nerves were frayed. I originally took the position on when they asked me because I thought it would be fun, but after two years, I was a wreck. I was a miserable person to talk to, began to really hate the place I worked at, and began having problems with my girlfriend even (She's one of the bosses there). I got to the point, that trainees of mine were going over my head and telling my boss that they were thinking of quiting because they couldn't work for me anymore. They didn't try to do their job right because they liked me, and they wanted to do their best. They were doing what ever they could just to keep out of trouble because they knew that if they screwed up I would be all over them.

Once the problem was pointed out to me, and I stepped back and looked at the situation, I realized what an asshole I had become. Even people there who I had considered some of my best friends stayed away from me because I had become such an ass. Even after I had resigned from that position, and returned to my normal lovable self, it took a long time to repair some of the damage I had done. It still bothers me a lot that I couldn't be there for one of my best friends there when she needed a friend when her marriage fell apart. She was the person directly in charge of me, and I let so much of my anger at the situation out on her, she couldn't trust me enough to even talk to me on a personal level anymore.

Yeah, people tried to please me all the time, but it was because they were afraid of me. There was no sense of joy in watching a friend's accomplishments or anything, because at the time, I really didn't have any friends.

We still have new people coming through the office all the time, and I still see trainers going through the same cycle of power-abuse and burn-out that I went through. Every new person who has come through and isn't familiar with the situation that happened with me has come up to me and said "God, I hate the way so-and-so trains. I wish you were training me instead." I've always just looked them straight in the eye and said "Be glad you don't have me." Then I explain to them what happened to me and just how frustrating their job could be, and they look at me with a confused look on their faces...

Oh well...They'll get it someday...

as much as the idea of being a tough mobster and/or batman tickles my spine with delight, be able to freak people out just at the mere mention of my name, or the vision of my presence... that just aint me, i guess. it'd be a cool every-once-in-a-while kinda thing, but... thats it.

loved is where its at. its what i want, its what i crave. i want that blind love kinda thing. where people'll love and worship me, for no reason what so ever. my end desire is most definitely to be an actor. a famous one! and what is an actor, if not an egomaniacal bastard, who only craves constant love and attention?

So I gotta be loved.....

In order to operate the store I had to adopt a stern and ruthless persona. People had to know that I would not be fucked with. I would be reasonable with some people but, others would take that as a sign of weakness and try to get over on me.

For me, being feared worked. people knew not to fuck around when i was in the store or there would be hell to pay. I think that had something to do with us never being robbed when many of the other stores in the mall had to deal with that.

problem is, it took a toll on me mentally. It's not an easy thing being feared and hated. Especially when I'm not really the hard ass I made myself out to be.

Since my experience is being feared, I'll have to say i'd rather be loved. I've spent 10 years of my life cultivating fear as a method of control. I'm ready to try something else.

optimus had friends all around him. they'd always protect him, n'stuff (or atleast try... stupid faggot rodimus...)

but megatron made everyone fear him. that way, whenevr he and the other baddies were threatened, the other baddies saved themselves and left megatron.

they're... transformers! ... like.. more than meets the eye.

...ahem...

think of it like he-man vs. skeletor. heman is loved and supported. skeletor is feared and betrayed!

quote:

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Originally posted by Quislet:
I would say the best is to be respected.

Fear may get you what you want in the short term, but eventually you will have no one who wants to do anything for or with you.

Love is better than fear. Love is more positive.
However if you are in a position of authority and you make a decision that is contrary to the person who "loves" you, then that "love" could dissapear.

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You know what .....that's a damn good answer.

quote:

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Originally posted by Rob Kamphausen:
im gonna havta say loved.

as much as the idea of being a tough mobster and/or batman tickles my spine with delight, be able to freak people out just at the mere mention of my name, or the vision of my presence... that just aint me, i guess. it'd be a cool every-once-in-a-while kinda thing, but... thats it.

loved is where its at. its what i want, its what i crave. i want that blind love kinda thing. where people'll love and worship me, for no reason what so ever. my end desire is most definitely to be an actor. a famous one! and what is an actor, if not an egomaniacal bastard, who only craves constant love and attention?

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