RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block Vanguard 19: "Screw Your Debate, I'm Starting A Story."

Phil Smith was walking down La Perdita’s main street, his sunglasses on and his hands tucked into his pockets. He was enjoying the sunny day and deciding to not care what other people were thinking.

Behind him walked Ben Phillips, the Vanguardian sometimes known as Bruteforce. Ben was dressed predominantly in civilian garb. He had on shorts and a Hawaiin shirt, with his blue mask still adorning his face. Robo Squirrel hovered next to him.

Ben had thought that the sight of a three foot long robotic squirrel flying down the street in the middle of La Perdita may attract unnecessary attention, and so he had decided to fashion a disguise which would allow Robo Squirrel to travel incognito. A top hat, a monocle, and a fake handlebar moustache were currently affixed to Robo Squirrel’s head. The disguise was, for the most part, failing to discourage curious looks.

Phil stopped in his tracks and turned. “This is a great day, is it not?” He asked.

Ben raised his eyes and shaded his face with his hand, then turned to take in the scene around him. He noticed chirping birds, happy children, and scantily clad women. “Yes. This is indeed a fantastic day. It’s the kind of day that almost convinces you that nothing bad could possibly about to happen.”

Phil grinned. “That’s exactly what I was just thinking.”

“The world can doom itself tomorrow,” Ben said. “For now, I will enjoy the scenery.” He kept walking as a tanned young girl rollerbladed past them in a bikini. Phil and Ben’s heads turned in unison.

”Robo Squirrel does not understand the significance. There are dozens of people out rollerblading today.”

Robo Squirrel extended a paw to point out an elderly couple decked out in helmets and kneepads slowly progressing down the street on their inline skates, leaning on each for support as they went. Ben and Phil both laughed.

”Incoming telephone call from Grissom Montag!” Robo Squirrel yelled, and the voice coming from the speaker in his mouth suddenly changed to Grissom’s.

“Phil?” Grissom asked.

“Yeah. Ben and Robo Squirel are here too.”

“You need to be watching TV. Now. Channel four,” Grissom said.

“Robo Squirrel. TV screen,” Ben said. A silver panel in Robo Squirrel’s stomach opened up and slid downwards until a TV screen was suspended from his hovering form. The news report appeared on it.

“And to conveniently recap our top story…” Came the voice of the reporter. “…Police are baffled as to the method employed by daring robbers to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from the First Bank of Melbourne last night. This footage provides the only clue as to how the robbery took place…”

Black and white footage appeared on Robo Squirrel’s belly-screen. It showed a dimly lit bank vault with the door blasted open, and a blurred shape zooming past the camera. The footage was replayed, and freeze framed when the blurred shape appeared.

The news presenter kept talking, but none of the Vanguardian’s were paying attention anymore. Their attention was fixed on the screen.

“See what I mean?” Grissom asked.

“Yeah…” Phil replied softly, his gaze on the freeze framed security camera image.

The footage showed a robotic creation, squirrel like in shape, rocketing past the bank’s security camera.

”Eep,” Robo Squirrel said, as his monocle fell to the ground and shattered.

"Robotic flying squirrel... that don't make no sense..." Danny said, staring at the newspaper in front of him that had the image of the bank robber from the security cameras printed across the front page.

Danny flooded his system with the painkiller of his own creation, and sank back further into his armchair, dropping the newspaper.

"Well... shit."

"That's what I was just thinking."

"Wait, isn't that how our last post started?" Declan 2 asked.

"I can't remember."

Declan got up from his seat and walked to the other side of the room. He stopped when he'd reached the wall, and turned. He stood there thoughtfully for a moment, then walked back to his chair. He put his hands on the back of the chair and stood there leaning on it. Declan 2 just watched him.

"Okay..." Declan finally said, and pointed at the TV screen on their desk. "What the hell is going on there?"

Declan 2 shrugged. They were both watching a replay of the evening news, and had hit the pause button when the image of the robotic squirrel robbing the bank had appeared.

"Okay, you want my theory?" Declan 2 asked.

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Well..."

"Yes?"

"Well... um..."

"Well?"

"I have no idea," Declan 2 admitted.

"I know it's not our Robo Squirrel," Declan said, pointing at the screen. "The snout is slightly longer than ours. The legs are slightly higher up on the body."

The sound of their office door slamming open caught both their attention, and caused Declan 2 to very softly squeal like a little girl.

Their boss, Jacob Rogers, walked in.

"What the hell is going on there?!" Rogers asked, pointing his finger at the TV screen where the robotic squirrel image still appeared.

"You know, that's the very same question that I just asked," Declan said.

"Really?"

"Word for word."

"It has more weight when I ask it," Jacob Rogers replied. "Now what the fuck is going on? Is that ours?"

"Um... no. No, it's not ours," Declan 2 answered.

"How do we know?" Rogers said.

"The snout. And something about the legs," Declan 2 said. Declan had sat back down in his chair and was tracking something down on his computer.

"Here. Check the logs," Declan said, spinning his computer screen around to face Rogers. "At the time the robbery took place, Robo Squirrel was still on La Perdita, monitoring the Vanguardians. We have the visual feed from that exact moment."

Declan pressed play, and a video window opened up on his computer screen. It showed Phil, Ben, Grissom and Tiberius sitting around a table playing poker. Phil had a pile of chips in front of him, Grissom was glaring at him, and Tiberius was staring intently at his cards. Ben got up, scratched his arse, and left the frame.

"I still say you're cheating," Grissom's recorded voice said, staring at Phil.

"I continue to deny all such charges," Phil replied.

"Come on! You're psychic! I'd cheat if I was psychic," Grissom said.

"I'm not using my powers. It's just an intuitive knowledge of poker. A sixth sense if you will..."

"Don't you already have a sixth sense?"

"Okay, we'll call it my seventh or eighth sense," Phil said. "My special poker sense. With which I play poker and fight evil."

Grissom narrowed his eyes. "Cheater."

"Full house!" Tiberius said, slamming his cards down on the table.

Ben Phillips returned to the frame, humming the theme song to Full House.

"See?" Declan said, shutting down the window. "That was filmed, by Robo Squirrel, at the exact time the robbery was taking place.

"Which means... what?" Rogers asked. "There's another one of these squirrel things out there somewhere?"

"At least one. Maybe more," Declan 2 said.

"Christ. What are the odds that our squirrel and the one on the news are unrelated?" Rogers asked.

Declan did some maths in his head. "Let's see... odds are... carry the one..."

"They're not very high," Declan 2 said.

"No, the odds are not very high," Declan added.

Rogers placed his fists firmly against his hips. "Somebody else has access to the Robo Squirrel designs. That's bad."

Declan 2 nodded in agreement. "Yes. It is quite bad."

Grissom Montag leaned back in his chair, almost leering at the surveillance tapes from First Bank of Melbourne. It was a skill that the thief had become quite good at since he took to the right side of the law as the CEO of Sandcrawler Security. And, of course, knowing how to get through the circles, getting ahold of the security tapes was not a problem either.

"What do we know?" Phil said, closing the door behind him.

"Well, it's obviously not our RoboSquirrel..." Grissom said, "but that's pretty obvious."

"How so?" the Unidentified Man said, pulling up a chair behind the Sandcrawler.

"Well, there are definitely some subtle differences here," Grissom said, 'porting the remote into his hand and pausing the tape. "Look at the nose," Griss said, pointing at the display screen.

Phil smirked a bit. "Heh. It's a bit longer..."

"Sure is," Grissom nodded. "Legs are a bit off too."

"So... what now?" Phil asked. "What are our options?"

"We're looking at two possibilities. One..." Grissom pointed at Phil expectantly.

"RoboSquirrel's creator really designed him for some criminal purpose."

"Or...?" Grissom said, holding up one finger.

"Or someone's stolen the blueprints and started making their own robotic rodent robbers," Phil said, leaning back in his chair and resting the back of his head on his hands.

"Well done, Mr. Smith," Grissom said, holding up a second finger. "Nice alliteration too, by the way."

"Thanks, Griss..." Phil said, smiling, "but it's not that hard to guess your hypotheses when you're screaming them inside your head at the top of your lungs."

Grissom's smile faded into a mischievous smirk as he glared at Smith. "Guess I'll have to work on my subtly, then, eh?"

"Guess so," Phil chuckled. "Where do you propose we go from here?"

"Well, until we know which of our hypotheses is the right one, we have no way of knowing which avenue to pursue," Grissom answered, running his hand over his head. "Personally, I'd recommend looking into the guy who invented RoboSquirrel. What was his name again?"

"Uh... Sharpe," Phil said, snapping his fingers. "Galileo Sharpe."

"Right," Grissom said, pointing to Phil. "Leslie still around?"

"Somewhere..." Phil answered.

"Get her out to Melbourne to survey the crime scene," Grissom said. "I want a professional opinion from someone we can trust before we go about getting involved."

"Good idea," Phil said. "And the rest of us?"

"That's the kicker," Grissom said. "Personally, I'd like to find out more about Dr. Sharpe. I'll hit the underground networks, see what I can find out, based on RoboSquirrel's description."

"And... the rest of us?" Phil said, holding out his hands, waiting for something for to do.

"Keep monitoring the news networks," Grissom said. "All of 'em. CNN, ABC, NBC, Yahoo... if they have a news outlet, make use of it. Do web searches for anything you can find on a robotic squirrel. If you have to put in a call to Xyber..."

"Xyber?" Phil asked, cocking his head to the side. "Wasn't she with Project Omicron?"

"Was being the operative word, Philsy," Griss said, scribbling an e-mail address on a piece of scrap paper and handing it to Phil. "She does freelance work now... nothing a rich guy like you wouldn't be able to afford."

"Fair enough," Phil said, nodding.

"Get Bri to help you," he said. "You may have to teach her to point-and-click, but otherwise, she'll be fine."

"Oh, is that all," Phil said, rolling his eyes. "What about Ben and the newbies?"

Griss shook his head. "I'm not sure," he confessed. "All I know is, I want someone to keep an eye on RoboSquirrel. I don't want him too heavily involved in this until we get a feel for what's happening for sure."

"So, have Brute Force and Tiberius keep RoboSquirrel occupied," Phil shrugged.

"More or less," Grissom said. "Though putting them all together like that really seems like the blind leading the blind... but what other choice do we have?"

"Yeah... I guess so."

"Granted, I'm not too fond of that mechanical misfit, but I honestly wouldn't think him a thief..."

"Who's the master of alliteration now?" Phil said, pointing slyly at Griss.

"Shut up, Phil," Grissom said, shaking his head as he rewound the tape and began watching it again...

HOOOONNNKK!!!!

"Would you stop doing that?" Tiberius looked up from the geography book he'd been studying.

"I can't. . .I've got a cold. . ." BF responded, blowing his nose loudly again. He was still wearing the hawaiian shirt/mask ensemble from earlier in the day.

"Dr. Squirrel prescribes lots of bed rest and orange juice. Beep!" Robo Squirrel buzzed around BF's head multiple times, making the metahuman very dizzy.

Suddenly from out of nowhere, something crashed into the room, knocking all three Vanguard members over and disrupting their day.

"Oh my, terribly sorry about that. I seem to have landed in the wrong thread." The speaker stood up and dusted himself off, before picking up his spectacles and helping the group up. He appeared to be a large, android bonobo ape. In a suit. With a derby. And an umbrella.

As he helped the Vangurds to their feet, he smiled at them reassuringly and said, "Well, must be going. Nice meeting you fellows." and promptly vanished again.

"What. . .what just happened here. . .?" BF asked, looking at his teammates.

"Something very silly." Tiberius responded, going back to his geography book.

"Whew," said Brianna. "When you said 'point-and-click', I thought you were going to teach me how to shoot."

Phil sat Xyber's e-mail down on the computer desk. He and Brianna were at Grissom's place. "Yeah, right. You still flinch every time you can hear Dirty Harry playing in another room. Heaven help Vanguard if we ever need your trigger finger."

Brianna picked up the address. "So, why aren't we just calling this Xyber woman? Wouldn't that be a little more...secure...than an e-mail?"

"Because Xyber's not a woman. She's a computer program, just like Glitch. She's self-aware." Brianna lifted an eyebrow. "She's trustworthy, if the pay is good. She can hack into the databases and pull up the information we need." Phil stood up and assumed an instructory voice. "Now, the computer's already on, right?"

Brianna beamed. "Yes. I started it up right before you came."

"Right. Open up Outlook Express."

"How?"

Phil rolled his eyes. "Pick up the mouse pointer and click on the little mail icon at the bottom left-hand screen."

Brianna took a hard look at the computer screen, and then looked back at Phil. "There's no icon."

"What? Let me see." Phil shuffled Brianna off the computer chair and looked at the screen. He let out a soft groan. The screen was completely blank, with the words Fatal Error on the screen. "Brianna...I think you wiped out Grissom's harddrive." Jeez, he's not going to like this...

Brianna shook her head. "It was like this when I turned it on! I didn't press a thing! I swear!" Her wings had gone ridged, and her feathers had bristled up, like a cat's back that had just been frightened.

Phil looked at the computer. There was little he could here. "I know Grissom has a laptop around here somewhere." He looked at Brianna. "Where is it?"

Brianna told him that it was in the top drawer of Grissom's dresser. "But he never lets anyone else touch it. He's got some special new stonewalls --"

"-- firewalls, Bree."

"Whatever. He doens't let me go on it."

Phil laughed. "I can see why! Look, stay out here." He picked up the e-mail address. "I'll contact Xyber myself. Aw, don't look hurt, Bree! It's only a harddrive."

"I didn't break it." But Phil was already out of the room. Brianna rolled her eyes and looked back at the computer screen. "If Grissom finds out, I'm never going to hear the end of this..."

*** *** ***

Phil opened up the laptop and sat it down on the dresser. Getting past Grissom's security wasn't a walk in the park, but nothing a telepath and computer expert couldn't handle. "Good...loading up the OS...oh shit."

No wonder Brianna wasn't allowed on the computer. The 19-inch screen had a very scandelous background for the desktop. It was Brianna, with silk sheets barely covering 'the essentials'. She was alseep, and probably had no clue the picture was taken.

"If Bree finds out, Grissom's never going to hear the end of this..."

Suddenly, the screen went blank and Phil's heart skipped a beat. He was worried that all the computers at Montag's had been attacked. But a bluish-purple screen appeared, and pink text appeared. Phil's replys were in blue.

It's about time you were online again, Mr. Montag. Noticed your fortress is under attack?

Actually, this is Phil Smith. And by 'fortress' are you refering to his office desktop?

Ah. Good morning, Mr. Smith. At 0753 this morning a virus entered one of Montag's computer and wiped out his hard drive. The computer was turned on at 0804. I took note of the situation, and figured he would be contacting me soon. Don't be too surprised. I make a point of watching allies and adversaries extra closely.

"So. It's not Brianna's fault." Anything you can do about the computer? Xyber listed a price. You aren't cheap. But go ahead and fix it. Actually, Grissom wanted me to contact you. One of our team memebers is a robot created by a man named Dr. Sharpe. We need to find as much information as possible.

"Phil?" shouted Brianna. "The computer's back to normal again! Windows is starting up!"

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

Robo Squirrel? I read the story this morning. Shall I take my service fee from your Swiss bank account, or from one of your American institutions? Phil rolled his eyes. But he knew that Xyber was just as quick with the task at hand as she was with taking her money. You're in luck. I'm pulling up the database information and loading it up on the laptop for you. But here's the meat of the articles.

Several articles rejected for publishing by Dr. Sharpe mention purchases of materials from an Austrailian metalworks called 'Intrepid'. They have main offices in Sydney and plants farther away from the coast. Apparently, that's where the components for your Squirrel were made.

Now here's the juicy part. Those purchases were made about seven years ago. A new set of purchases, identical to the older reciept, were made about six months ago. That company is located in Zerich, Switzerland.

And now, for the twist. Want to know where the virus that hacked Montag's computer came from? I traced it back to Switzerland. Now, I'm only a heartless computer program, but I think you've been 'punk'd'.

Is that a technical computer term? But really, you think it's likely that someone's trying to make it hard for us to get to the bottom of this?

I don't believe in coincidences. So yes, I think the two events are connected. Keep me posted on the situation. I can get into Montag's PDA or your Palm if my services are needed again for this case. Oh, and will you tell that saucy Jym that if he wants to look under my motherboard, all he has to do is ask?

Grissom, Phil, and Brianna were sitting in Montag's kitchen. Grissom had his tea. Phil had his coffee. Brianna, true to her nature, had a meatball sandwich, two pickles, and a bottle of spring water. It was hard work, maintaining an avian metabolism.

Phil and Brianna had updated Grissom on the morning's events. Phil omited the saucy laptop background and his accusing Brianna of ruining the computer. "I really hate it," began Grissom, "when someone goes into my computer like that."

"Cheer up. It's not like ye lost anything important. Besides--" Brianna paused to munch on a pickle "--we have a lead."

"Two leads, actually. Europe and Austrailia."

"So," said Grissom, "wot happened? Dr. Sharpe created Robo Squirrel, and now some criminals have created an evil clone?"

"Or," said Phil, "maybe Dr. Sharpe was disappointed in Robo Squrriel, so he created a new robotic rodent that would fullfill his evil desires."

"Or," said Grissom, not missing a beat, "Dr. Sharpe has been forced to create an evil robot because he's bein' held hostage?"

"Or maybe it's too early to come up with a possible senario, since we're missin' an informed member." There was a knock on the door. Brianna grinned. "And there she is."

Brianna opened the door. Leslie Kline was standing there. She gave a confident wink to the two men. "Hey boys. Melbourne was fun. Wait till I tell you what I found out."

"So, wot did you learn in Melbourne?" asked Grissom.

Leslie Kline looked slightly annoyed. "That's it? No 'Hey Leslie, how are you doing?' No 'Thanks for helping us out, Leslie! We owe you!'" Leslie turned to Brianna, who was offering the ex-mercenary a drink. "Thanks. Nice to know someone appriciates me."

"Fine," said Phil. "Let's start over." He cleared his throat, as if beginning some Shakespearian monologue. "Leslie, thanks for coming. You look great."

Miss Kline looked mildly impressed. "It's a start."

"Look, we just found out our robotic team member has a crafty criminal clone."

"Nice aliteration," said Leslie. Grissom laughed, until Phil shot him a look.

"Anyways, did you learn anything?"

Leslie sat down with the others. "Plenty. The cameras caught how the safe door was blasted open. The robot opened the door with a wide-beam laser projecter. From the tip of his tail."

"See?" said Brianna, adding jam to her buscuits. "The real Robo Squirrel would have used his flame-thrower."

"For all we know," said Grissom, "he might have a wide-bean laser project'r."

"True," said Phil, "but this doesn't help us figure out the story of this second robot."

Brianna looked at Leslie. "What did he steal? I can't imagine a little flying robot carrying bags of cash?"

"Oh yeah, I should have mentioned that." She pulled out still pictures from the security cameras, as well as crime photos from the Melbourne PD. "The safe actually led to the deposit boxes. The manager said he had been working at the bank for four years and no one had ever looked into that security box."

"Great," said Brianna. "Now we have no clue what he stole."

"Well, whatever it was," said Grissom, "it was small."

Phil and Leslie all watched as Brianna finished off the crackers and pickles...at the same time. "Heh heh heh...Brianna?" asked Leslie. "You counting carbs at all?"

Grissom only shrugged. "You get use to the grocery bills..."

Brianna munched aggressively. "Easy for you to say," she said to Leslie. "Six thousand calories a day. This is just my second breakfast."

Meanwhile back with the 'Brain Trust'...

"He needs multiviatmins and water!" shouted Tiberius.

"Robo Squirrel's Medical Reference Guide suggests orange juice!"

"Water!"

"Juice!"

Bruteforce grabbed the box of tissues. But it was too late. "Ah-choo!" Greenish-yellow mucas flew everywhere. Mostly on Robo Squirrel.

"Robo Squirrel does not appriciate snot!"

"Can it rustbucket. . .ahah. . .ahah. . ." BF turned towards the bookshelf.

"Robo Squirrel's cleaning gears are all clogged up! Beeeeep!" The Squirrel hovered as it struggled to clean itself and avoid BF's next nasal assault.

"AAAAHHHHHHCHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" BF's sneeze not only covered the bookcase in mucus, it knocked it completely over.

"The world's strongest nostrils strike again." Tiberius observed dryly, while walking downstairs.

"Bring Robo Squirrel a towel! Beeep!"

****************************

*Downstairs

Phil and Grissom attempted to process this new information while Brianna continued to munch down food.

"Uh, Griss?" Phil asked after a moment. "Is there anything unusual about Bri's eating habits of late?"

"More unusual than a grown woman with wings who literally eats like a bird?" Montag laughed, while considering booking a flight to Australia.

"Well, it's just that. . ." Phil began before stopping himself. "Look, you know I don't make a habit of snooping in other people's minds, but. . ."

"Spit it out, Philsie, wot's on yer mind?" Montag knocked back a sip of Guinness.

"Well, there's one word that's strongly emanating from Bri's mind right now. And that word is. . ."

Montag spat Guinness out all over his computer screen and turned to look at Smith, wide eyed and slackjawed. "Pregnant?!?!"

Meanwhile, while the men were keeping to themselves, Leslie got onto Grissom's other desktop computer in the breakfast room. "Let's see...two tickets to Switzerland..."

"Why two?"

Leslie looked up. Brianna was sitting on the computer desk. "Well, two of us should head to Switzerland, and two of us should head to Melbourne." Leslie waved her hand in the air. "I've had enough with Austrailia. I'll go to Switzerland. Besides, I'm very curious about what Xyber said about the virus. I bet we could find something interesting in Switzerland. Want to come?"

Brianna bit her lip. "What about Brute Force and Robo Squirrel and Tiberius?"

"Hmmm, good point."

"I mean, we're going to need their help, reguardless. And Robo Squrriel has a right to find out the truth."

"So you trust the little guy?"

Brianna smiled. "I admit he makes me laugh, and I like him. Yes, I trust him."

"You are way too easy."

Brianna lightly punched Leslie's shoulder. "Oh come on. There's nothing wrong with putting a little faith in people..."

"But there's something wrong with being naive. You've got a machine that you know nothing about..."

"You have a point."

"...and now Tiberius is here and you're not even paranoid..."

"That is also true."

"...and you obviously couldn't detect villianly in your own brother..."

"Okay! Okay! I can't read people. I get it." Brianna sat back and snorted. "So, how about this? Ye, me, and Tiberius will head to Switzerland. That way, it will be two again one. And Grissom, Phil, Brute Force, and Robo Squrriel can head to Austrailia."

"Wow," said Leslie, impressed. "That actually might work."

"Oh please. Does anything work for us?" Brianna smirked. "But we're use to it by now."

"So, how is the team gonna split?" BF asked, opening the door of Grissom's fridge and looking for the milk inside while holding an empty glass.

"The girls over there have just decided they'll trake Ty to Switzerland and the rest of us will go to Australia," Phil said, "so there's no sense in discussing it, really..."

"Right. Nothing can change that line-up now..." BF started pouring the milk into the glass... only it was falling in the wrong direction. Ben watched in awe as the milk coming out of the carton he was holding hit the ceiling. "What the...?"

Grissom tried to say something, but he soon realized little clouds of cotton candy were coming out of his mouth instead of words.

"Oh, no..." Phil said, as the windows turned into transparent thin jelly and flies started bumping into each other.

"Robo Squirrel is scared and confused. Beep?"

"Calm down, little buddy," BF said, sensing the distress in his friend's electronic voice. "Now, what the hell is going on?!" He turned to Grissom and Phil. "And why are you two so calm?!"

Phil looked like he had a headache. He didn't, but it looked that way. Griss let out a cloud of cotton candy and shrugged.

Suddenly, the door to Griss' pantry flew open, and four or five cupcakes came flying out. A plastic keychain with the face of a cartoon dog, that for some reason was on top of the table near the entrance, flew in the same direction as the cupcakes in great speed. A pair of Brianna's panties came from upstairs and joined the party. Finally, Phil's shoelaces untied themselves and levitated, while Smith sighed and shook his head.

All these elements and many more converged in the middle of Grissom's kitchen and formed a small whirlwind. The Vanguardians watched as the whirlwind grew in size and speed, the colors mixing to produce a darkish brown. They covered their eyes as purple lightning bolts started coming from inside it, until...

It stopped. From one second to the other, the whirlwind was replaced by floating man wearing a black spandex suit and a trenchcoat the same color as the whirlwind. His long brown hair was tied in a ponytail, and he lowered his bearded face to look at the people in the kitchen.

"Knock, knock."

Brute Force was the only one brave enough to respond. "Who... Who's there?"

"Ian."

"I-Ian who...?"

"I an MXY!"

The door to the kitchen suddenly shattered into hundreds of fragments, Tiberius leaping through simultaneously.

"HALT!" he commanded to the floating figure before him, assuming this was an attack. His hands jerked up into some form of archaic stance, teeth gritted in concentration.

The figure of Mxy cocked an eye at him, snorting in an undignified manner.

"Sit." he simply stated.

Tiberius' eyes rolled into the back of his head, his body crumpling to the floor unconscious.

"...newbies..." he sighed.

”I believe I shall accompany Brianna to Switzerland,” The floating form of Mxy stated decisively, his hands pressed firmly against his hips.

He slowly lowered himself to the ground, and the tiled floor rippled like water as the tips of his feet made contact with it. It shimmered momentarily with Mxy’s reflection before resolidifying.

”Goooooood afternoon” Mxy said, swirling his trenchcoat dramatically around himself.

“Wait, Switzerland? How do you know about our plan?” Bruteforce asked, stepping forward.

”I KNOW EVERYTHING!” Mxy boomed.

“No you don’t,” Grissom said from the other side of the room, chuckling. A look of surprise and amusement was still plastered across his face.

”I know most things,” Mxy corrected.

Brianna and Leslie entered the room to find their male teammates gaping in awe at the latest arrival.

Brianna cocked her head. “…Mxy?” She said softly.

”BIRD LADY!”

“Huh?”

His voice softened. ”Brianna.” He leaned down and softly grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it.

Phil took Leslie aside while the others were addressing Mxy.

“Leslie?”

“Yeah.”

“While you were in Melbourne…”

“Yeah?”

“…did you happen to…”

“No.”

“What?”

“No.”

“But… that’s most likely where he is. That’s his home.”

“If he disappeared, he probably wants to stay disappeared. I respect that. You should too.”

"Now wait just a goldurn minute here. We need to figure out. . .ouahhh. . .ahhh. . ."

"Oh, no, here it comes again." Phil sighed, throwing up a tk shield over himself.

"AAAAHHHHHCHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Brute Force sneezed, covering the newly arrived Mxy in various disgusting fluids.

"Uhm. . .err, sorry. I have a bit of a cold." BF said, looking for something to clean up the mess.

"I am Mxy?" the founding Vanguardian offered, wiping away the mucus and spittle with a small cow that appeared from nowhere. The cow's moos of protest went unnoticed by the metahuman.

Brute Force ran to the living room, with all the rolls of paper towels he could find, "I'll clean it up! I'll clean it up!"

It was at this point in time that Mxy himself sneezed, with dire repercussions felt across the Vanguard Universe. . .

An armoured van was making its way quickly down Swanston Street in the middle of Melbourne, having just completed a pick up from an automated teller machine.

Danny watched it go by, momentarily standing still as he contemplated where it was going.

He, along with everyone else on the footpath, was stunned to see a robotic squirrel go slamming headlong into the side of the van. The vehicle veered out of control, toppling onto its side and coming to an abrupt halt as it slammed into a concrete streetlight pole. A security guard clambered out of the door which faced upwards, his gun raised and a trail of blood leaking down his face.

Danny thought the squirrel looked familiar. He remembered seeing a flying robotic squirrel at the airport on La Perdita when he had left the country, and he wondered for a moment what the odds were of two flying robotic squirrels existing in two separate parts of the world.

The squirrel circled in the air and shot down towards the guard, pushing him off the van. The guard landed hard on the asphalt, rolling to a stop. He raised his gun and fired at the squirrel, watching helplessly as the bullets bounced off the flying rodent's hide.

Danny wondered if he should help, standing still while the people around him ran for safety. He stepped forward, then thought better of it as his drug addled body wavered on him.

He was confused to see a shiny robotic ostrich emerge from the same side street the squirrel had come from, and race towards the van as the squirrel kept the guard occupied. A robotic eagle followed shortly after. The ostrich leaned into the van's open back door, and picked up a steel box that was presumably filled with cash. The eagle simply tore the side of the van off with its huge robot talons, and ducked inside to pick up two more boxes.

Danny ran forward, then stopped again, torn between uncertainty and bravado. The ostrich turned and spotted him, looking him up and down. Danny was frozen in his tracks. The ostrich opened its beak and something looking suspiciously like a gun emerged from it.

Danny ducked for cover behind a nearby park bench.

The robotic eagle rose quickly into the sky, taking hundreds of thousands of dollars with it. The ostrich and the squirrel quickly followed, the squirrel flying off on the tail of the eagle and the ostrich high tailing it into a nearby alley.

On a flight bound for Melbourne, three Vanguardians were sitting in economy class seats. Bruteforce had the window seat, as Grissom and Phil had decided that neither of them wanted to climb over him if the need to pee arised. Phil sat in the middle and Grissom had the aisle seat, the complimentary headphones placed over his head.

"Are you sure Robo Squirrel will be okay?" Bruteforce asked.

"He's fine," Phil replied.

Audible to no one, a lonely metallic 'beep' echoed in the dark confines of the plane's luggage hold.

"Guys," Grissom said, lifting one headphone away from his right ear.

"Yeah?" Phil replied.

"Put your headphones on. Check out the news radio station."

Phil and Ben did as Grissom had requested. The three listened in silence as details of the daylight robbery that had occurred only moments ago were read out over the radio.

"Shit," Phil said softly.

"We need to get to the bottom of this. ASAP," Grissom said to his two teammates.

"This is it?" Brianna asked.

"This is it. This is the facility to which the purchases of Squirlium were traced," Leslie replied. The two of them were standing in front of a warehouse in Zerich's industrial sector, finding their entrance barred by a huge iron door. Tiberius and Mxy stood a few metres behind them.

"Squirlium?" Tiberius said.

"It's what Robo Squirrel's made of. It's nearly indestructible. And purchases of it; along with the electronic parts necessary to build Robo Squirrel; were sent here six months ago," Brianna explained.

Tiberius stepped forward to the locked door.

"Hmm..." He said, and placed a hand against it. He then stepped back, took a deep breath, and slammed his palm against the huge steel panel. The door buckled, and swung open.

"I could have opened it," Mxy said.

"If you just did everything for us, Mxy, life wouldn't be very interesting, now would it?" Leslie said, firing a glance at him over her shoulder.

"The building appears to be deserted," Tiberius shouted from his position a few metres ahead of him.

Brianna's mobile phone rang, and she quickly answered it.

"Is her ringtone 'I Just Called To Say I Love You'?" Leslie asked. Mxy begun to hum it as Brianna talked, then stopped when she hung up.

"Guys? That was Grissom. He says we should be on the lookout for other robotic animals, not just squirrels. Apparently there was some sort of ostrich incident in Melbourne."

"That is completely and utterly bizarre," Leslie said.

"Other animals? Such as what?" Tiberius asked.

Nobody had the chance to answer before a creature that looked suspiciously like a shiny metal boar dove out of the darkness and rammed into Tiberius' midsection, sending him sliding across the room and coming to a halt against a stone wall.

Behind them, a loud thump indicated the arrival of a robotic ocelot.

"This is stupid," Leslie said.

"Mxy! Leslie! The one outside!" Brianna yelled, before turning to face the boar that had attacked Tiberius.

Leslie and Mxy didn't miss a beat after Brianna spoke, both running through the door to confront their attacker. Leslie raised a gun and fired six rounds directly into the ocelot's hide, cursing as they bounced off it ineffectually.

Mxy waved a hand and the wires inside the robot's body were turned to pasta.

"You couldn't have done that first?"

"I wanted to see if bullets would work."

Inside, Brianna tried her scream against the robotic boar, to little effect. "Damn it," She said softly, and ran to help up Tiberius. As he rose to his feet, the boar sprinted towards them.

"Distract it," Tiberius suggested. Brianna waved her arms and flapped her wings, getting the robot's attention. She left Tiberius' side and ran across the room, the robot following her.

Tiberius took a few running steps and then jumped, coming down hard on top of the boar. He drove his knee into its back and forced his elbow into the join of its neck. It collapsed to the floor.

"So what do we think?" Leslie said, re-entering the room with Mxy behind her. Mxy was now humming 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' again, and somehow producing not just the vocal melody, but the sound of a full symphony orchestra with just his humming.

"Whoever is misusing the Robo Squirrel designs has adapted them to other animals, of course. But why?" Brianna said.

"It is difficult to say," Tiberius replied.

"We should check this place out," Brianna said. "You know. For clues."

"Right! Clues!" Mxy said, as a magnifying glass appeared in his hand and a lit pipe protruded from his mouth.

Brianna led the way. "And be careful. We don't know what other robot... things... could be here."

But Mxy wasn't careful. Because of nothing more than an unexplainable whim, he turned a metallic door in front of them into a pineapple, revealing a robotic feline behind it.

"MXY?! What the..." Leslie yelled, ducking to avoid the feline that threw itself at her. Behind her was Brianna, who wasn't as lucky as Leslie and was pushed to the floor by the feline, who now stood over her.

"HEY!" Mxy screamed, pointing at the giant cat. "HE LOOKS LIKE SYLVESTER!"

Suddenly, the cat DID look like Sylvester from Looney Tunes. An EXTREME robotic version of it. "I p'ought I paw a pittle pirdy," its impersonal metallic voice said.

"Umm..." Bri said from under the heavy robotic cartoon cat "...I thought Tweety said that..."

Tiberius tackled the cat and wrestled with it on the floor. Mxy meanwhile floated into the room the robot came from. "I wonder if Spongebob Squarepants is somewhere in there..."

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, NO!" Leslie yelled, using her robust powerful lungs to full capacity. "I HATE Spongebob! Don't you dare making him show up!"

Mxy turned to Leslie, disgusted. "SPONGES ARE PEOPLE TOO!"

Tiberius emerged from the floor with a few scratches on him and a metallic head under his arm. He didn't look happy.

Ty opened his mouth to say something. "Wait!" Mxy interrupted. "I still don't know how to write you..."

"MICK!" Leslie yelled. "Can you stop this and take the situation seriously for a moment? That cat could have killed someone!"

"Oh, calm down! You're all gonna be alright, mama..."

Leslie looked at Brianna. "I thought this guy was cured?"

Brianna looked at Mxy. "Now that I think about it... Wasn't your therapy supposed to last for at least another year?"

"It did," Mxy smiled.

"It's only been about a few months, Mick..." Brianna said softly.

"Not from where I'm standing, pittle pirdy." Mxy smiled again, and small wrinkles formed on the corner of his mouth, under his new beard.

"What... do you mean?" Bri asked, regretting it instantly.

"Think in the fourth dimension, Marty!" Doctor Emmett Brown said. Then he turned back into Tiberius. "That was... unpleasant," he said.

"Mick..." Having been forced to watch Back to the Future Part 1 a while back, and noticing a few details of Mxy's new look, Brianna came to a strange conclusion she wouldn't reach if she was thinking about a normal person... "Are you saying you're from the future?"

Mxy laughed sardonically. "No, my dear Brianna, no..." Mxy said, as Bri sighed in relief. "I'm FFFFFROOOOM THE FUUUUTUUUREEE!!!

"That's what I..." Bri began. "Never mind."

Leslie rolled her eyes. "Ok, I'm not even gonna ask how that's even possible..." "...my powers are based on perceptions, if I can convince myself I'm in the past then I am..." "...but assuming it is, WHY would you come back here?"

Mxy shrugged. "I was bored. I missed the good ole days. So I came back!"

"Is that all?" Bri asked.

"Yep!"

"...what about Shirley?" Brianna said.

"Oh, she's just..." Mxy took a pause. "She's okay, she just decided she was gonna stay back there... I mean, forward there... Man, time is CONFUSING!"

"People." Tiberius said. "Robotic animals."

"Right, right..." Bri replied. "We'll talk about this later, Mick... We need to focus on the robots now."

"No," Ty said, "I mean there's a horde a robotic animals coming towards us right now."

Bri looked at the direction Ty was pointing at. "Oh."

As everyone assumed fight positions, Mxy sat back on the air and took a smoke from the chocolate sausage he was holding.

"Mxy! You're not gonna fight?!" Someone asked. I don't care who at this point.

"OH, RELAX! Like I said: You're all gonna be alright!"

Meanwhile, the horde of animals was about to stomp the Vanguardians, and Mxy didn't move a finger...

"Man, this is great!" Brute Force ran his hand through his hair again. "I love being blond! It's just like those commercials! You know, for the highlights. . .the ones where the women get all turned on and stuff?" He elbowed Phil in the ribs a few times as Phil attempted to ignore him.

"We have to get Mxy to fix this. Maybe he can sneeze again and make it all better." Phil looked at Grissom.

"Or he could make it twenty times worse. You remember what being around Mxy's like, yeah?" Montag toyed with his extra fingers. He wasn't used to having five fingers on each hand. This would take some getting used to. Bloody 'ell, how'm I supposed to shoot me custom made guns now? he thought to himself.

"Besides, these'll probly be only temporary effects. I mean you were only a brain for what, twenty, thirty minutes before going back to normal?" He smiled at Phil, remembering his plight.

"I hope you're right." Phil Smith as BF attempted to get up.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to the restroom! See if any hot babes try to jump my bones! You know, like the commercials!"

"Why don't you take your mask off first, bud?" Grissom attempted. BF was still in his hawaiian shirt/shorts/mask combo from earlier.

"And reveal my secret identity to all these people, endangering their lives? Never!" He cheerfully wandered down the aisle before yelling back "You know what else? I don't think I'm sick anymore! Isn't that great!"

Bloody 'Ell, Montag thought to himself as an epiphany struck him. Never mind the guns, 'ow'm I s'posed to properly give Brianna the patented "Montag Love Maneuvers" with these normal sized fingers? I'm ruined! Mxy's ruined me!

Phil Smith struggled to hold a snicker in check and failed miserably.

"Shut it, Smith. I 'ope you turn into a brain again." Montag cut him a dirty stare.

Mere moments later, Brute Force came back down the aisle, his mask removed.

"Wot 'appened, did you join the Mile High Club after all?" Montag asked, not really wanting the answer.

"Even better! I came up with a fake name so that I don't reveal my true identity to these people and endanger them."

"Really? Wot is it?"

"Greg. Greg Blondhead." BF proudly placed his hands on his hips as he stated the name. Montag groaned and Smith burst out laughing again.

Six robotic animals against three members of Vanguard. And Mxy -- who, along with his chocolate sasauge, had created an enitre meal of chocolate chicken, green beans, mashed potatos. The dessert, however, was a pie made out of processed chicken. Oh, the irony.

"Right, well, let's get started." Leslie reloaded the ammunition of her pistols. "Right, Brianna, you take out the sparrow and the crane. I'll take the ram and the puma. Tiberius, you tackle the bull and the raccon."

Brianna looked irrated. "Did you give me the bird robots because of the wings?" Leslie didn't answer. "You're stereotyping, you know. I'm not 'Bird-girl'."

Leslie didn't miss a beat. "Bird-girl, move your ass."

Brianna sighed and resigned herself to her fate. "This is Bird-girl: arse moving now." She openned her wings and pulled herself into the air.

Mxy saw her come close and was inspired to cheer Team Vangaurd on. Gone was the chocolate picnic, replaced by a new fantasy. He was dressed as a cheerleader, with a huge 'V' on his chest, shouting "Two-Four-Six-Eight-Who do we appriciate?" Brianna gave him a wink as she flew by.

The six robots approached the three. "Ready!" shouted Tiberius. He did not appear overexcited or scared, but had a cool look on his face. Let danger come, he was ready for it.

Leslie raised her guns. "Aim!" She'd have to do some tricky shooting, since random shots did nothing to the robots. But then again, Leslie was good at being orginal like that. It felt so good to be back.

"Fire!" Brianna shouted. She filled up her lungs with as much air as possible...

"You know what we should do while we're here?" Phil asked as he, Grissom and the newly named Greg Blondhead exited the terminal at Melbourne's Tullamarine Airport.

"What?" 'Greg' asked.

"We should-"

"No," Grissom span around, facing his two companions. "If he doesn't want to be found, he doesn't want to be found."

A beep emanated from the large bag that Brute Force had slung over his shoulder.

"And Robo Squirrel agrees with me," Grissom added.

"What are you- oooh. You're talking about Danny," Brute Force said.

"Yeah," Phil answered, as the three headed for the shuttle bus which would take them to their hotel.

"How do you know he's even in Melbourne?" Grissom asked.

"It's just a guess. Melbourne's his home," Phil explained.

"It will be his home in eighty years time, you mean. How can we be sure-" Grissom stopped in his tracks instead of finishing his sentence. "You've been looking for him, haven't you?" Grissom then said as he kept walking.

"Maybe," Phil replied, turning his gaze towards the bus and avoiding eye contact with Grissom.

"You've been looking for him with your spooky brain!" Grissom said accusingly, waving his fingers at Phil's head. "And you've narrowed him down to here in Melbourne even though you know he left for a reason."

"He left because he thinks he betrayed us," Phil said, as they reached the kerb and stepped through the open doors of the waiting bus. Brute Force threw their baggage into the compartment on the side of the bus, then followed the other two inside.

"I don't think he did. I mean, he was being brain controlled," Brute Force said.

"Yeah. It could have happened to anyone. He shouldn't feel like he betrayed us," Phil said, taking a seat. 'Greg' sat next to him and Grissom sat behind them.

"Unless," Phil said, turning in his seat to face Grissom. "Unless you think he actually did..."

Tiberius lowered his body and set his legs wide apart as a robotic bull stopped, cocked its head towards him, then turned and ran at him.

The bull's horns shone in the small amount of sunlight that spilled in from the open door. They were finely polished and razor sharp, and Tiberius made a decision very early on in the engagement to not interact directly with them.

The bull lowered its head and rushed at Tiberius, who simply turned side on and faced his shoulder to the oncoming animal. The bull struck with an immense amount of momentum.

Tiberius grit his teeth and stuck his ground, keeping his body low as the front of the bull rammed into him. He placed one arm under the bull's chest and the other on its front left leg, lifting the bull above himself and holding it vertically above his head for just a moment. He brought it down on the other side of himself, slamming it hard into the concrete floor.

The steel head of the bull bent backwards as the concrete cracked and buckled beneath the impact. The robot lay there motionless, the deep humming sound emanating from somewhere within it rapidly fading. When Tiberius was satisfied that the bull would not be getting up anytime soon, he turned to face the rest of his team.

Brianna had gained a few metres altitude, the huge warehouse space giving her just enough room to move aerially. A robotic crane stayed inches from her feet.

On the ground, Leslie ducked to the ground and dragged herself sideways to avoid an attack from a metallic puma. She pointed towards the ceiling and fired at the crane, swearing in frustration as the bullet bounced harmlessly off its chest. It looked down at her, tracing the source of the attack. Her second shot struck it right in the eye.

Leslie jumped as the puma swiped at her. It stood still for a moment, and lowered it's jaw. A small gun poked out from the back of its robotic throat.

"Shit..." Leslie said and ran.

In the air, Brianna had noticed something odd. She turned her head to look at the crane, and found it weaving wildly through the air. Sparks flew from the eye which Leslie's shot had connected with.

Brianna quickly surmised that something in the eye allowed for the robot's navigation. Which made sense, really.

She turned and moved upwards, positioning herself above the crane. She then dove down and drove herself into the robot bird's back.

Brianna kept the pressure up for a moment then let go, floating clear as the bird kept moving downwards under its own momentum.

Leslie hid herself behind a concrete pole as bullets whizzed around her.

She decided to count to three before stepping out and confronting the puma. On two, it appeared next to her anyway.

"Oh, shit," She said.

She was somewhat shocked yet relieved to see a directionless robotic crane slam into the back of the puma, destroying them both in a shower of sparks. Leslie stepped back behind the pole to shield herself, and Brianna landed next to her.

"Is that all of them?" Leslie asked.

"It would appear so," Tiberius said, approaching them both. "The building is once again silent."

"Which has me worried," Brianna said.

"Why?" Leslie asked.

"Well... where's Mxy?"

The wall at one end of the room suddenly shimmered began to part like a curtain, the steel and concrete buckling as a gap opened wider and wider in the middle of the wall.

A wooden theatrical stage was set up behind it, a full lighting rig built into the roof.

"Ta da!" Mxy said, standing on the stage with a single spotlight highlighting him. "The stage is complete!"

"And why do we need a stage?" Brianna asked.

"For the puppet show!"

The ruined bodies of the robotic animals that lay strewn around the warehouse floor all propped themselves upright at Mxy's cue, walking towards the stage and then setting themselves up on it.

"I wrote a script and everything! It's a drama. It's about coming to terms with loss and meeting a talking sheep."

"A talking sheep?" Leslie asked.

"ITS NAME IS TALKY THE SHEEP!"

"Fine. You enjoy your puppet show, Mxy. But we should look around the place," Brianna said.

"For what?" Tiberius asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Whoever left here did it in a hurry."

"What makes you say that?" Leslie asked.

Brianna raised an arm, gesturing around the room. "They didn't take everything valuable with them. They left something. Some evidence."

"What?"

"Not sure."

"Then how do you-"

Brianna cut Leslie off. "If there's nothing of value here, then what were those animals guarding?"

"Mxy?"

"Tiberius!"

"...yes."

"That's you!"

"Yes."

"Kudos."

"Thank you."

"How can I help you?"

"Are you able to tell us if there's anyone here?"

"Sure, I can do that."

"Thank you."

Mxy floated into the air, hovering in the middle of the warehouse while his three teammates watched. He closed his eyes, lowered his head, and began to hum.

A pale glow emitted from his form as he did so, slowly extending outwards to envelope the entire warehouse. The light seemed to pulsate for a few moments, while Mxy's humming increased in volume.

Suddenly, there was a loud 'ding', and Mxy stepped onto the ground again.

"Done!"

"Excellent," Tiberius said. "Is there anyone here?"

"Yes."

Mxy said nothing more. Tiberius spent a moment being impatient before speaking again.

"...who?"

"You, me, Leslie and Brianna!"

Tiberius' head fell into his palm while Leslie and Brianna laughed behind him.

"Oh, and the other guy too, but he's almost dead so he doesn't count."

Tiberius lifted his head again. "There is somebody else here? Where?"

"I'll show you."

Mxy stepped off the floor again as it disappeared completely, exposing a huge basement beneath the the warehouse. He lifted his arms and his puppet robots floated with him.

Tibierus, Brianna and Leslie were startled for a moment, convinced that they were going to fall. But instead they were softly lowered to the floor of the basement.

A lightbulb appeared above Mxy's head and stayed on as he explored, his robot puppets dancing behind him.

Once they had hit the ground, Brianna noticed a man curled up in the corner. She ran to him and turned him over, revealing a man of about sixty who had obvious not drank or eaten anything in days. Leslie ran after Brianna and offered the man a drink from her water bottle.

"The building was locked from the outside when we arrived," Leslie said.

"So whoever was here just locked the door behind them and left this man in here to die?" Brianna replied.

"They must have left in a hurry."

"Why?"

"Maybe they knew someone was onto them. Maybe Xyber alerted something in their system," Leslie speculated.

"Maybe," Brianna said, unsure of what to think. "Sir?" She said, turning her attention to the man who was currently held up between her and Leslie.

He lifted his head, slightly.

"Can you tell us your name, sir?"

"Sharpe..." The man said, in a raspy and barely audible voice.. "Galileo Sharpe."

Leslie glanced over at Brianna, who held the seemingly hollow form of Dr. Gabriel Sharpe in her arms. The spy's mind was absolutely racing. Ethics are cruel... she thought to herself, glancing back at Tiberius and Mxy, each of whom was sizing up the other for reasons that Leslie didn't even want to think about.

And why were ethics so cruel to Leslie Kline? Leslie had always been the kind of person who, when given a job to do, would do it to completion. No questions asked. Ever since she'd come to be acquainted with Vanguard International, a good deal of her moral ambiguity had unclouded. She was no longer the hard-nosed mercenary that she had once been. She wondered how Phil and Grissom must feel in times like this...

This man was her target - her mark. The man she'd been sent to hunt down. Not only was there no hunt, but he was already very near death. What to do?

In a sudden flash of iron will and incredible resolve, Leslie Kline made her decision.

"Mxy, we need to get to a hospital!"

...damn ethics... she thought, running over to the trenchcoated, top-hatted man.

"Uh... what?" Mxy responded, breaking his stare-down with Tiberius.

"A hospital," Leslie repeated.

"What about it?" Mxy asked, strangely more lucid than normal.

Kline was getting frustrated... and understandably so. Whirring around, she pointed at the man in Brianna's arms and moved her face within an inch of Mxy's face. "See him?" she said through gritted teeth. "He needs to get to a hospital and we," Leslie gestured to the assembled members of Vanguard, "need to take him there! Capice?"

"Ja vol!" the man said as the glow from his eyes increased, filling the entire room. For a moment, all Leslie Kline could see was the bright, ethereal light...

...which suddenly faded to reveal a hospital, bustling with patients and doctors. Leslie breathed a heavy sigh of relief as she immediately began looking around for anyone who might be willing to help. She spotted a female doctor in the corner talking to a male nurse in the corner and immediately rushed over.

"Doctor, I --" Leslie stopped suddenly as she realized the two were in a deep conversation.

"...but why?" the nurse asked.

"This... this kind of thing just isn't appropriate, Jason," the doctor said, a dramatic overtone to her voice. "We both know it."

"How can you say that?" the nurse answered, matching her intensity. "What we had was beautiful and you can't deny it! No matter how hard you try!"

"I'm sorry, Jason," the doctor said again, turning away and staring absently at nothing in particular. "But... I'm still in love with Jeremy..."

The nurse's jaw dropped and eyes widened. "My evil twin brother who still hasn't been awakened from his coma? How could you?"

Tears began forming in the doctor's eyes as she continued staring at nothing at all. "It's not like I can help it," she said, putting some unnecessary emphasis on the word 'help.' "After all... he was... my soulmate."

It was about this time that Leslie noticed the dramatic music playing over the PA system. In perfect synch with the conversation she was overhearing. She looked back at Mxy, who stood smiling to himself, sitting in the lotus position two and a half feet above the air. Then, she looked over at Tiberius and Brianna, who were both staring at the fourth wall of the hospital room.

"Curiouser and curiouser," Tiberius said, tilting his head slightly to the left.

"You can say that again," Brianna said, Dr. Sharpe hanging onto one of her wings.

"Curiouser and curiouser," Tiberius repeated, though not entirely sure why he was doing so.

Leslie followed the gaze of her teammates to the wall of the hospital...

...and saw, not a wall, but large piece of glass and, on the other side, two elderly people watching with looks of confusion. The woman picked up what looked to be a TV Guide and began flipping through it, switching her gaze from the hospital to the book.

Leslie's jaw dropped. Her brow was furrowed. Her nose got wrinkled in that way that it always did when she got mad - which Phil was never able to tell her that he thought was totally adorable. She stormed over to Mxy's floating form, more irate than she'd been in a long while.

"MXY!" she screamed. "I said we needed to be in a hospital!"

"And we are," the man once believed to be a fifth-dimensional imp replied.

"A real hospital, Mxy," Leslie practically grunted, "NOT General Hospital!"

"To be fair," Tiberius chimed in, "you did not specify the hospital you wished to attend..."

Brianna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," Mxy responded. "It was an honest mistake!"

"Mxy..." Leslie sighed, attempting (most likely in vain) to regain her composure. "...please take us to an actual hospital and not another television show... please..."

"Okee-day!" Mxy said. As he said it, the old man on the fourth wall lifted his remote and changed the channel...

...as the set of General Hospital faded into a hospital room, where Leslie, Brianna, and Tiberius stood around the hospital bed of Dr. Galileo Sharpe, while Mxy laid back on thin air at the foot of the bed.

Leslie rubbed her temples and exhaled deeply. She glanced at Mxy, then made eye contact with Bri. "I don't know how you guys used to deal with it," she said, shaking her head.

"With a shrug and a smile," Brianna said with a wink. Her expression changed when she saw Sharpe lying unconscious beneath her. She looked back up at Leslie, worry etched across her face. "What do we do with him?"

Leslie shook her head slowly. "I'm not entirely sure," she responded. "Grissom would want to interrogate him, I'm sure. Find out what's been going on with all of these robotic animals."

"He does not appear to be capable of questioning," Tiberius responded, waving his hand in front of Sharpe's closed eyes.

"That's why it's nice having a token telepath," Brianna said. "I'm sure Phil would want to know what's going on in that head of his."

"Hell, I wouldn't mind that either," Leslie said, sinking into a chair by Sharpe's bedside. "You'd probably better call Grissom - see what the boys are up to. If it's not important, we may need them here..."

"Gotcha," Brianna said, pulling her cellphone from her pocket and walking out into the hall.

"And me?" Tiberius asked, taking a step toward Leslie.

"Tell you what," Leslie said, sinking down a bit in her chair, "if you can find me a decent cup of coffee and a danish, I'll consider your work here done for the time being. Deal?"

"Very well," Tiberius said, walking from the room to find the hospital cafeteria.

Leslie smiled to herself. "Sometimes, it's just too easy..."

"You know..." Declan 2 asked.

"What?" Declan replied.

"I have a question for Jacob."

"'Jacob'?"

"Mr Rogers. Our boss. Sir."

"Which would be?"

With that, Jacob Rogers entered the room with the sounds of a slammed door and a hurried walk.

"That is just eerie," Declan 2 said.

"We were just talking about you, sir," Declan said to his newly arrived boss.

"That is because," Jacob said, "I am the most important thing in your life. The focal point around which everything else in your existence rotates."

"To an extent, yes," Declan 2 said.

"Declan 2 had a question," Declan said, jerking his thumb towards his colleague. Jacob responded with a simple gesture involving crossed arms and raised eyebrows.

"I did, yes. That's correct."

"..well?" Jacob asked.

"Merlin was full of shit. Vanguard International is now legally allowed to operate outside the borders of La Perdita," Declan 2 said, "without the interference of the UN Security Council."

"Which is, of course, the organisation for which we work," Declan added expositionally.

"Both your points are correct," Jacob said, nodding.

"And yet we continue to monitor Vanguard through Robo Squirrel."

Jacob nodded again. "Yes. Yes we do."

"I thought we were just using the squirrel to keep tabs on them while the law required them staying on the island. You know, to make sure they don't leave. Yet here we are, still watching them," Declan 2 said, pointing at himself and then at Declan.

Jacob put his hands on his hips. "The law may tolerate the employees of Vanguard International leaving La Perdita..." He began, tapping his foot as he did so. "But the UN Security Council certainly does not welcome them. I want to know what those freaks are up to. At all times."

"According to the police report, several hundred thousand dollars in cash were stolen. And an unidentified item was taken from one of the safety deposit boxes," Brute Force said, standing alongside Phil Smith, Grissom Montag and Robo Squirrel in front of the First Bank of Melbourne. It was night now, darkness having fallen over the city of Melbourne. A few blocks away, the bars and cafes were buzzing with the city's nightlife. But here in the business district, things had slowed down. The four members of Vanguard International were able to draw not a huge amount of attention to themselves.

"Are you picking anything up?" Brute Force asked, turning to Phil.

"...excuse me?" Phil replied.

"You know. A signal or something. A vibe. What happened here?"

"How exactly do you think my powers work?"

"...magic?"

"What next, would you like me to divine you some water?" Phil asked.

"Well, I am kind of thirsty."

Grissom interjected at this point. "Let's get a beer."

"Beep!" Robo Squirrel said, because he hadn't had any dialogue in this post.

"Beer? Now?" Phil asked, turning back to Grissom.

"Why not?" Grissom asked, starting to walk away from the bank. "We're not going to find anything here."

"You think?" Brute Force asked.

"The cops have already been over this place with a fine tooth comb. Then the press. Then the maintenance crew. We're done here," Grissom explained.

"Robo Squirrel is sensing something with the sensors!" Robo Squirrel suddenly exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" Phil asked.

"Flying object moving rapidly in the airspace over Melbourne. Too small to be an aircraft."

A small antenna had extended from the top of Robo Squirrel's head, and was rotating while making a soft beeping sound.

"There!" Robo Squirrel said in his metallic voice, then shot upwards and headed north.

"Should we follow him?" Brute Force asked.

"Yeah," Grissom answered, and started to run.

In the air above them, Robo Squirrel was closing in on the object of his pursuit. His teammates on the ground tried desperately to keep up with him.

"Is that... a robot... moose?" Grissom asked between breaths, looking upwards to the sky.

"Damn, I think it is," Phil replied.

Sure enough, Robo Squirrel was closing in on a flying robotic moose. The moose suddenly nose dived, and Robo Squirrel followed.

The moose hit the ground in front of the Second Bank of Melbourne, lowering itself so its head was facing the front wall of the bank. It began to run, its huge steel antlers poised to crash through the wall.

Robo Squirrel struck the moose's back, driving them both into the ground and causing a crack in the asphalt of the road. The moose rose to its legs and bucked, sending Robo Squirrel flying a few feet across the road and smacking hard into the ground.

Robo Squirrel opened his mouth and began to fire steel acorns at the oncoming moose, but the acorns bounced off harmlessly. He shot into the sky, but the moose followed, flying alongside Robo Squirrel and hitting him hard in the side with its huge pair of antlers.

"Robo Squirrel!" Brute Force yelled, as he and his teammates appeared around the corner and ran towards the scene of the battle.

Robo Squirrel was dazed, his internal navigation equipment rattled by the strike from the moose antlers.

The moose was running at Robo Squirrel with its antlers down again, while Brute Force was running at the moose.

Just as the moose was about to make contact, its front legs disappeared from the side of it's body. One of them appeared in Brute Force's right hand, and he appeared to take great joy and beating the moose about the head with its own severed robotic leg.

Grissom Montag smiled at the sight, depositing the other leg he'd teleported harmlessly into the gutter.

Grissom sat at the dining table of their small Melbourne hotel room, nursing a beer. Phil was leaning nervously against the kitchen counter, while Brute Force was sitting on the couch. Robo Squirrel was cradled in Brute Force's lap, the super strong Vanguardian running his hands delicately over the dents in Robo Squirrel's armour caused by Robo Moose.

"Aw, little buddy, are you okay?" Brute Force asked.

"Robo Squirrel is operating at seventy-eight percent maximum efficiency. Self-repairs are underway. Estimated time before full efficiency is regained: seven hours."

"That's the spirit, buddy," Brute Force said, picking up Robo Squirrel to look him square in the cute little robo-eye.

"So what do we know?" Grissom asked.

"Little to nothing," Phil replied.

"Damn."

At that precise moment, Grissom's phone rang.

"Hello?" He said, picking it up.

"Griss? It's Brianna."

"You guys found anything?" Grissom asked, cutting straight to business but somewhat comforted to hear her voice.

"Kind of. Actually, I need to talk to Phil."

Grissom tossed the phone across the kitchen to Phil, who held it still in front of his face telekinetically. He carefully reached up and grabbed it.

"Yeah?"

"Phil?"

"Brianna!"

"Yeah."

"How can I help you?"

"Are you able to read the mind of someone in a coma?" Brianna asked.

"If there's still brain activity, I should be able to. If he's a vegetable, though, no dice," Phil replied.

"Oh, he's alive. There's definitely brain function. He's just unconscious. We found him in an abandoned warehouse, he hadn't eaten or drank anything in days," Brianna explained.

"Who?"

"Galileo Sharpe."

"Bullshit!" Phil said. This caught the attention of Grissom, who began to pay closer attention to the conversation.

Phil continued. "The guy who invented Robo Squirrel?"

Grissom raised his brow and slammed his beer down in surprise. "Damn," He said softly.

"Well, the name matches," Brianna said. "We weren't able to get any more info out of him before he passed out."

"Okay, I should be able to do it," Phil said into the phone.

"Really?" Brianna asked, sounding slightly surprised. "We weren't sure if your powers would work over this much distance."

"It'll work if I use a conduit," Phil began. "Send a signal from myself to someone nearer to Sharpe."

"...right..." Brianna said. "...and I suppose you'll want...?"

"Yeah, I need to ask a favour, Bri," Phil said.

"Fine," Brianna conceded. "Whatever it takes to get what we need. But don't you have the same distance problem with me?"

"Not if I go through someone close to you," Phil said.

"Close? But then-"

"I didn't mean geographically close. I meant close. I'm hanging up now," Phil said, shutting the phone off. "Grissom!"

"Yup," Grissom nodded, finishing his beer. Phil said down opposite him.

"I need your brain for a moment," Phil said.

"Why?"

"To get to Brianna's."

"Why?"

"To interrogate Sharpe. He's unconscious."

"...I see."

"I'm not digging up memories. I'm not reading either of your minds. I just need a conduit to boost the signal, for lack of a less clumsy metaphor."

Grissom sighed. "Fine."

"Great."

Phil closed his eyes, extended his thoughts out to Grissom, and made contact. Phil felt around in Grissom's awareness for what he needed, and soon found it; Brianna.

Next to a hospital bed in Zerich, Brianna's eyes snapped open, Phil's conscious mind present in her.

"...this is weird..." She whispered. "Yes," Phil answered to herself in her voice.

Placing Brianna's hand on Galileo Sharpe's, Phil thought out to him.

After a moment of jumbled thoughts and confused images, Phil found himself sitting in a cramped yet interestingly decorated office. Lab equipment stretched across one wall, while diplomas and souvenirs adorned another.

The door opened, and Galileo Sharpe entered.

"Right... this is where you feel comfortable," Phil thought to himself.

"So... how can I help you?" Sharpe said, sitting down in the chair opposite Phil.

In the hospital room, Leslie was staring out the window with worry. A dark shape had appeared on the horizon and was rapidly getting closer.

"I think we have company," Leslie said, turning to Tiberius. Tiberius followed her gaze out the window, to see a robotic pelican quickly moving through the sky towards them.

"But how?" Tiberius said.

"Maybe the warehouse was being monitored. Maybe we were followed back here," Leslie speculated.

In the corner of the hospital room, unnoticed, a robotic mouse was sitting perfectly still.

"Damn! Busted!" Robo Mouse said, very, very quietly, and ran across the room to a robotic mousehole.

Tiberius grabbed the window and slid it upwards, then crouched on the windowsill. He stayed there for a moment, waiting for Robo Pelican to get close enough. When he was confident that it was, he jumped.

Tiberius cut a wide arc through the air, covering at least forty metres. At the apex of his leap, Robo Pelican's mouth opened to reveal a gun that extended itself and pointed at Tiberius.

Leslie noticed this and lowered her gun at it through the open window, and fired.

As Robo Pelican fired at Tiberius, Leslie's shot found its mark, and disabled the gun in the pelican's mouth.

Tiberius connected, landing on the back of the pelican and sending it downwards into an uncontrolled nosedive.

"Professor Sharpe..." Phil began, in the mental office. "I have a couple of questions for you."

"I shall do my best to answer them," Sharpe replied, glancing around his office as he did so. "Say... this isn't my real office, is it? It looks like it is, but something's off..."

"No, it's not," Phil answered. "We're in your mind right now."

"Eerie."

"Yes. You're actually unconscious at the moment, in a Zerich hospital room."

"Ah, yes. I remember my last conscious thought being 'damn, I'm thirsty'. How can I help you, mister...?"

"Smith. Phil Smith."

"Mister Smith! How can I be of service?"

"Something was stolen from a bank in Melbourne, Australia last night. We need to know what it was," Phil said.

Sharpe seemed somewhat shocked. "A small item from a safety deposit box at the First National Bank of Melbourne?"

"Yes."

"Oh, no. Oh, oh, dear me no..." Sharpe said.

"What?"

"You're familiar with my robotic designs?"

"Yes."

"In that box was a disc holding the plans for something far greater and more dangerous than anything you would previously have seen. A robotic creature that should never be..." Sharpe said, his voice trailing off into panicked territory.

"What is it?" Phil asked.

"It's big."

Outside the hotel, Tiberius was bearing down on the pelican with all his weight, driving them both towards the ground.

"Nooooo! Robo Pelican never got to truly taste adventure!" Robo Pelican cried in despair in the second before it hit the ground, Tiberius placing his palm flat against the robot's back and pushing away to throw himself free as the impact occurred and the ground shook.

Only then, looking upwards, did Tiberius notice the flying robotic ape bearing down on him from above. The ape threw its huge arms out and grabbed Tiberius by the shoulder, then flew back up towards the hospital room.

Leslie, looking out the window, took aim at the ape and fired. The bullet's bounced harmlessly off Robo Ape's hide.

"Shit," She muttered, and reloaded. "Phil and Brianna, hurry up..."

Phil heard Leslie's urgency through Brianna's ears.

"How did you come to know of my work?" Sharpe asked Phil.

"Robo Squirrel," Phil replied.

"Robo Squirrel?"

"Yeah. Robotic squirrel. Yay big." Phil was holding his hands about three feet apart. "Annoying in this lovable comic relief kind of way."

"Ah, yes... Robo Squirrel," Sharpe said, a spark of recognition igniting in his eyes. "Some of my finest work. I have to admit, at first it sounded like a weird request when I got it from the UN."

"The UN? How do you mean?" Phil asked.

"The United Nations. Their security council commissioned Robo Squirrel."

The ape crashed through the hospital room's window, Leslie diving out of the way as it did so. Shards of glass and chunks of the wall flew everywhere as Robo Ape pushed its way into the room and flung Tiberius across the floor.

Mxy entered the room, holding a tray.

"Hey guys, I got coffee and chocolate and a teddy bear holding a heart!"

Robo Ape ran forward and threw itself at Mxy, who became invulnerable just for a second. Robo Ape managed nothing more than toppling the coffee cups from the tray, and sending the brown liquid all over Mxy.

"My coat! My beautiful coat! You've ruined it! THIS COAT WAS ONE DAY AWAY FROM RETIREMENT!" Mxy yelled, waving his vengeful fist at Robo Ape.

"YOU ARE A FIG NOW!"

And, sure enough, Robo Ape was transformed into an ordinary fig which sat there on the floor, being hugely less threatening than the ape was.

"I squash the fig."

Mxy squashed the fig.

Phil was shocked at Galileo Sharpe's last statement. "I don't understand... you're saying Robo Squirrel is the UN's creation?"

"Technically my creation, but they paid for it," Sharpe replied. "The UN security council wanted a device which would monitor and, if need be, contain a group of metahuman terrorists on some island nation in the Pacific. At least, that's what they told me... hey, you're not one of them, are you?!"

"...Robo Squirrel's a spy?" Phil said.

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"Oh."

"I have to go," Phil said. "I'll be back soon. We need to find out who took your and your designs. But rest assured, we're doing everything we can to get you well again."

"Oh, take your time," Sharpe said. "I'm quite comfortable in here. I can catch up on my reading."

Brianna snapped back to consciousness, somewhat surprised to find the wall of the hotel room ruined, and Leslie and Tiberius sitting against the wall catching their breath.

Grissom snapped back to consciousness, then stood up to get another beer.

Phil's eyes opened and he stared across the hotel room towards the couch.

"Hey, guys!" Brute Force yelled."Robo Squirrel's gonna be okay! He reckons he'll be fine by morning!"

"Estimated time until completion of self repair: six hours. Beep," Robo Squirrel said.

"He's such a little trooper!"

Phil's eyes narrowed. "Get that thing out of here."

"Huh?" Grissom said. "Wot do you mean, Philsy?"

"Robo Squirrel. OUT." Phil replied.

"Robo Squirrel does not understand the hostility against him," the robotic voice said, adding a saddened "Beep."

"I'm serious," Phil added, staring into the Squirrel's eyes.

"All right, I don't want this to get ugly," Brute Force said as he stepped between Squirrel and Smith.

"Why are you acting like this, Phil?" Griss asked.

"Get that thing out and I'll explain it..."

"You can't just..."

Suddenly, a light bulb appeared above Mxy's head, to fall on his head and crash in the floor. "Leave it to me!"

Mxy zapped out of the room like a cartoon, and returned less than a second later, dressed like a female squirrel.

Upon seeing Mxy, Robo Squirrel's robotic eyes widened unnaturally and separeted themselves from the metallic head, as he jaw literally dropped to the ground. Mxy dedicated a sexy wink to the robotic animal, and moving his behind from side to side walked out of the room, while the drooling Squirrel followed closely.

"All right, now explain what the heck is going on," Force said.

"Yes," Tiberius added, so he'd get at least a line in my post.

Grissom looked at the freshly arrived Tiberius. "'ow the 'ell did you get here from Switzerland?"

Tiberius shrugged. "There isn't much to it. Brianna told that little imp that we needed to get to Melbourne. She didn't say where in Melbourne. I found myself in there." He pointed to the coat closet near the door leading to the hotel's hallway.

"Makes perfect sense," said Phil. It struck him as an odd comment. If I feel like something Mxy does makes sense, does that mean I'm as crazy as him?

"Perfect sense," said Grissom. He began shouting. "Mxy! Where the 'ell is Brianna and Leslie?"

"Oh!" Mxy's voice came from everywhere in the room. He seemed out of breath, as though getting tired of Robo Squirrel's pursuit. "I knew I forgot something!"

There was a clatter from the bathroom, and Leslie Kline crawled out of the shower and fumbled her way out of the bathroom into the main room with everyone else. Her hair was a little out of place, and she looked like she was ready for a fight. "Where the hell is Mxy?"

Brianna wasn't so lucky. Everyone noticed the kitchenette's toaster and coffee machine were moving as something was kicking from inside the cabinents. There was the sound of a shoe hitting metal plumbing, followed by an 'Ow!' The doors swung open and a slightly crumpled Brianna rolled out from under the sink. She seemed annoyed that everyone was looking at he upside-down form, and her face was red from anger and exhaustion. "Where the hell is Mxy?"

"All of you seem so mad at me! It's like you don't appriciate what I do for you. I ought to turn you all into little polka-dotted mice."

"No!" shouted everyone.

Phil turned back to Tiberius and Greg Blondhead. "To answer your questions, I had a talk with Dr. Sharpe." Phil's friendly mood disappeared. "He said Robo Squirrel's a spy for the UN."

Brianna and Grissom, having witness the conversation, nodded in agreement. Leslie frowned and folded her arms. Tiberius's face did not change, but he eyed the door where Robo Squirrel left in pursuit of a female equal. Only Brute Force seemed distraught. "No! He can't be a spy!"

Brianna raised an eyebrow. "'Contain a group of metahumans terrorist on some island'. His exact words, Brute Force. So not only was he a spy, but he was sent to deal with us if we got out o' hand."

"Pssst," said Grissom to Brianna. "'e's 'Greg Blondhead' now, luv."

"But he risked his life for us! He's been our friend all this time! Can't you guys see that?"

"He's dangerous," said Phil. He looked at the others. "But according to Dr. Sharpe, there's something more dangerous. That's what was stolen out of the Melbourne bank. Plans for something even more dangerous."

Grissom looked thoughtful. "Xyber mentioned manufacturing plants away from the coast. She said Robo Squirrel was created there. It would make sense that the plans would 'ave been taken there in order to begin construction of a new project."

Phil nodded. "She also said Sharpe's organization had a main office in Sydney." He pulled out his cell phone. "There's a chance the office is still there...and if it is, we may be able to get the location of the plants."

Everyone waited while Phil -- pretending to work for a trucking company that was having problems finding their way to the plants -- duped the gulible secretary. Brianna looked down and noticed Grissom's hands. "What happened?"

Grissom gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes. "Mxy's sneezed." He narrowed his eyes and looked Brianna up and down. "'ow come you're not affected?"

Brianna looked confused. "But I was affected. My sonic cry was replaced by mule brayin'. And Leslie's guns were stuck to her hands. But everything was back to normal once Mxy took us to Switzerland." She looked back at Grissom's five fingers. "Ye will able to...still...ye know...that...'thing'."

"Shite," said Grissom, cracking his knuckles. He was going to hunt down that little imp.

"So what's the plan?" 'Greg Blondhead' asked.

"Lose the new name or I punch you in the face?" Phil replied.

Brute Force shrugged. "Why?"

Phil snorted and shook his head. "Griss? Whaddya think? We got the locations of the manufacturing facilities. What happens next?"

"I would imagine," Tiberius offered, "that we go to these facilities and search for signs of the stolen robot technology."

Grissom began pacing across the room, absently rubbing his unfamiliar fingers together. "Loose ends... loose ends. We've got a location for the plants, yeah, but what 'appens if we're all away and there's more robberies 'ere? Do we split the team up? There's only so many of us!"

"It wouldn't take that many to gather information, love," Brianna pointed out, nodding toward Leslie. "You could send one or two of us there and leave the rest here in case more robots show up."

"Right," Grissom replied absently, his mind obviously elsewhere. "I wonder if we can still do that thing?" he murmured to himself. "But if things get dangerous over there..."

"We'll need some serious firepower!" Brute Force shouted, leaping out of his chair and causing Leslie to jump. Next to her, Tiberius merely turned, raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and returned his attention to the discussion.

"Well," Grissom continued, "we aren't exactly goin' there to 'ave a picnic with the responsible parties. If there's a dangerous operation in place there involving Sharpe's technology, we'd better be prepared to destroy it."

"Which may tie up the other loose end," Phil cut in.

Grissom turned. "I'm listening."

"The manufacturing facility may or may not be located near the headquarters of whoever's behind this," Phil said, "but I'm positive there'll be a direct communications link between the plants and wherever their headquarters is. If that's the case, it might be possible to prevent more robberies here without any of us actually having to be here."

Grissom grinned. "I know where this is going."

"Where?" Brute Force stood up. "I don't!"

Tiberius nodded. "We create a diversion."

"By letting them know we're there," Phil elaborated, "we send them into a panic, they get on the horn to whoever's in charge, and if we can convince them they're in enough danger, we can distract and alarm the whole operation enough that they won't dare attempt anything elsewhere. Their full attention will be on us."

Brianna nodded. "Aye, but don't ya think that'd make things a bit too risky?"

Grissom shrugged. "Part of the job, love. We've gotta find out who's behind this and stop 'em." He turned to Phil. "I like your idea. But this mission's startin' to look a lot like previous missions you and I 'ave been on. That said, I don't want this mission turnin' into a shootin' gallery, understand, mate? Keep your eyes open... but unless I say so, keep your guns holstered."

Phil looked puzzled. "Ummmmmm... okay, Griss. You're the boss."

Grissom looked at the others. "Is that it, then? Can we start to get a plan together? Or does anyone else have a suggestion for me?"

The rain fell hard onto the Melbourne streets, causing those on the ground to run to their places of business with umbrellas raised and coats pulled around them.

And in one of Melbourne's less glamorous alleys, Robo Squirrel hovered a few feet above the ground, watching as the rain turned potholes in the cement into tiny lakes of melancholy.

He whirred softly, then emitted a low, drawn out "beeeeeep" of sadness.

He looked up at the sky, not knowing what to do.

Half a world away, at the Robotics Department of the United Nations Security Council, Declan and Declan 2 were typing furiously into their computer consoles.

"Call him back! We have to call him back!" Declan 2 said.

"He's not responding!" Declan replied.

"But his cover's been blown! The Vanguardians know he's a spy! Every second he's out there is a security risk!"

"I know!"

"Then Danny just wasted a whole sentence's worth of typing!"

"Fuck!"

On a hired speedboat, six Vanguardians were huddled together, headed for the manufacturing facility of the robotic animal terrorists. Leslie was trying her best to remember how to drive a speedboat, while Phil was navigating. Mxy was water skiiing behind the boat on oversized clown shoes.

"I am so sick of boats," Brianna muttered.

Above them, three seagulls flew in a V formation.

Brianna was peering up at them, curiously.

"Somethin' wrong, luv?" Grissom asked.

"Those seagulls. They're... shiny," Brianna replied.

"Bloody hell. Robot birds?"

"Yeah."

"Shit!" Greg Blondhead (wink) said. "Remote surveillance?"

"Makes sense. It's what I'd do," Grissom replied.

"Shit!"

"Calm down, mate. We wanted them to know we were coming. If they concentrate their forces on us, it keeps them away from the mainland."

As he spoke, a silver shape darted out of the water and slammed into the hull of the speedboat, tearing a hole right through it. Everyone aboard realised it was a metallic swordfish just as it drove its pointed nose into their engine, tearing away something that hopefully was not vital but may well have been. It then disappeared back under the water, as sparks and smoke flew from the hole in their hull.

"Leslie, stop!" Phil yelled.

"I... um... can't. The controls aren't responding. I can't steer, either."

They all looked up. A huge structure loomed out of the water ahead of them, which may actually have been the place they were looking for, but right now was just something they would most likely crash into. Without acceleration they would eventually slow to a stop, but it didn't seem plausible that it would happen quick enough to avoid a horrible and inconvenient collision with a huge steel building.

"We need an anchor!" Grissom yelled, as he picked up a rope from the small cabinet of supplies in the back of the boat. "Something heavy."

Greg Blondhead looked around for a second before sighing. "Fine," He said, and held his hand out for the rope. He wrapped it around himself and dived into the water.

Those aboard the boat experienced a few terrifying seconds when they were all sure they were about to explode, before they suddenly slowed.

Brute Force's feet had hit the seabed, and he dug in tight.

They slowed... then slowed... then stopped.

Then a robotic gorilla jumped on them from above.

"How many animals could these mental cases have?" Brianna looked at Grissom and Phil. "Steel bats in the belfrey, aye?"

Grissom waved his hand in the direction of the oncoming gorilla. "Can you dispose of it?"

"Naturally," she said, opening her mouth to scream. Lucky for the rest of the team, they were standing behind Brianna's wave of sound. A shower of broken bits of metal and wires fell on the Vanguard. "Easy enough."

"Strong set of pipes, as always," said Grissom, grinning. He looked at his team. All eyes were focused on him, waiting instruction. Montag did not disappoint. "Right, it seems that we're going to 'ave every robot on our areses in a few minutes. We don't 'ave much time to get inside. I get the feeling that we found a location where the animals -- er, the machines -- can be controlled.

"Brianna, you and Tiberius are going to remain outside the plant. Make a mess, it's what you're good at, luv."

"Why, thanks," said Tiberius.

Grissom and Brianna just looked at their storm-tossed rookie. "Right...anyways, it looks like there's only one entrance to the facility. Leslie..."

"...you want me guarding that area?"

"Bingo." What words were said when he and Drake were talking about leadership? Something about how a good leader just arranges his team like chess pieces on the board. Set them up, and then let the pieces unleash their own power. "Greg will be joining you when he's topside. Mxy, you and Phil will be with me. We need a computer expert or two, and Mxy's useful when he wants to be."

"Don't worry too much, Griss. You'll be back home soon anyways."

Grissom looked puzzled. "Oh yeah, you're from the future..."

Brute Force dug his feet into the sand at the bottom of the ocean floor and held tight. The boat above stopped for reasons he could no longer remember.

BF seemed to be forgetting a lot of things of late. He wished he'd remembered to bring a snorkel with him before jumping into the water, for instance. That way, he could breath. He didn't know how long the air in his lungs would hold out.

BF turned and looked for something to tie the rope around. Before he could find something, he was struck by a blow to his left side. Another blow quickly knocked him over and the rope slipped from his grasp. There was now a large hole in his hawaiian shirt.

He tried to grab the rope, but was hit again from above. A shadow passed over him. He looked up and saw a robot hammerhead shark circling him.

The robot hammerhead struck BF in the stomach, knocking the wind from him. He looked up as air bubbles streamed from his mouth and began to rise to the surface.

BF started to swim away, but the hammerhead circled again for another strike. . .

Brianna looked at Tiberius. "Did ye just feel the boat go slack?"

The tension from Brute Force's rope was indeed gone. Tiberius peered into the water, his vision slightly better than the Banshee's. "Greg's still underwater. There's a shark down there too."

"A real shark, or another robotic one?"

"It must be robotic. The skin's shinning in the sun's reflection."

Brianna bit her lip. Her sonic cry was no good if Brute Force was twenty-five feet below the surface. "Hang on...Greg. I will never get use to that name." The sound of metallic wings turned Brianna's attention to the sky. The seagulls had returned. She turned back to Tiberius. "Well, this is fittin', aye? You're in your element, and I'm in mine. Ta, I'll cover for ye."

Brianna was in air, her dull gray wings against the silver metallic wings of the gulls. Tiberius dove into the water and made his way towards the shark. The hunters were about to become the hunted.

*** *** ***

"This is where we leave you, Leslie," said Montag. The rest of the team was standing in front of the main entrance. It was a small garage-door-like opening that slid upwards for vehicles and machines to move in and out of.

Leslie loaded the clips into her pistols. "Good luck guys." She turned to Phil. "Kick some ass," she said, winking.

"You sure you don't want the guns glued back on?" asked Mxy.

Leslie was clearly not amused. "What do you think the answer to that will be, Mxy?"

"No need to get picky..."

"We need to get going..." began Grissom. A few tricks later, the security system on the door had been overridden. Montag, Smith, and Mxy ran into the building. "Hey Phil...ten quid the next animal we see will be a robotic chinchilla."

Phil grinned. "Twenty bucks says a robotic mule deer."

The Facility was... was...

Grissom thought desperately for an adjective as he moved quickly down the dimly lit corridor.

Large. The Facility was large.

"This place is pretty big..." Phil whispered, his hand hovering close to the gun that was holstered on his hip.

"I was just thinking that," Grissom said, stopping for a moment when they reached a fork in the hallway.

The Facility was... was...

Grissom thought desperately for an adjective as he moved quickly down the dimly lit corridor.

Large. The Facility was large.

"This place is pretty big..." Phil whispered, his hand hovering close to the gun that was holstered on his hip.

"I was just thinking that," Grissom said, stopping for a moment when they reached a fork in the hallway. Mxy just floated behind them, counting electrons then multiplying them by the number of emotions he could feel to come up with the answer to most of life's questions.

The building was a huge steel construct that looked as if it may once have been an oil rig, but one that had since stopped ringing. Someone had added to the existing structure, masking it in an iron wall. Who did it and to what purpose, the members of Vanguard International couldn't really be sure.

"My question is..." Phil began.

"Why have we not yet been noticed by any sort of security presence?" Grissom continued.

"Yeah."

"Maybe we have." Mxy said.

"Damn. He's probably right," Grissom said.

"And coherent. That's two for two, Mxy," Phil added.

"When I close my eyes I can see all the different colours that the future will be!"

"...and the streak is over," Phil said as he became aware of a soft noise above him. "...what the?"

In a scene weirdly reminiscent of that bit in We3, a shower of robotic rats descended upon them from the ceiling of the hallway.

"Shit!" Phil yelled.

"More puppets!" Mxy yelled.

Grissom just stepped out of the way, pressed himself up against the wall, and concentrated.

The rats quickly began to disappear, until not a trace of them was left in the hall.

"Robots really don't bother me that much," Grissom said as he exhaled his held breath.

"Where did you put them?" Phil asked.

"Back in the hotel room."

"Why?"

Grissom shrugged. "Not sure."

Outside The Facility, beneath the surface of the water, Tiberius had launched himself at the tail of the robotic hammerhead shark that was circling around Greg Blondhead.

Tiberius grabbed the robot's tail, yanking it back towards himself. He wrapped an arm around its neck and threw it upwards, the very laws of physics that was restrict such an action happening underwater not seeming to bother him very much.

The shark broke the surface and kep going into the air above the water. Tiberius pushed himself upwards, gasping for air when he found it. He stepped up onto the water and pushed himself off of it, colliding with the shark in mid air. The robotic fish split in two down the middle, falling into the water in two separate pieces as Tiberius landed on their stationary boat.

He reached out a hand and helped Greg back onboard.

"The plan to use yourself an anchor was unwise."

"It slowed us down, didn't it?"

"...somewhat."

Back in Melbourne, Danny was making coffee in his shitty little apartment and trying to forget that Melbourne was being attacked by flying robotic animals. He was discovering that, unfortunately, it was a difficult thing to forget.

It didn't help that he was just a little bit high.

His attention was caught by a tapping at his window. There were three quick taps, then a pause. Then the tapping came again.

He walked slowly across the tiny apartment and lifted up the window. Outside, a three foot long silver squirrel was hovering there just over his balcony, one paw outstreched.

Danny said nothing for a moment, briefly wondering whether he was hallucinating again. He remembered seeing this squirrel before, at the airport on La Perdita. He didn't know what the hell it was doing here.

"You are Danny Hearn?" The squirrel asked.

"Uh... yeah."

"Then Robo Squirrel is successful! Beep!" The squirrel said, then flew into the apartment and circled a few times.

"Hey! Wait! Get the fuck out!"

"Robo Squirrel has found you. This was important."

"What the hell is going on?"

"I am Robo Squirrel. I am a member of Vanguard International."

"...no you're not."

"...I was." Robo Squirrel's usually chirpy voice had lowered at this point.

"Wait, no, no you weren't. That makes no sense."

"That doesn't matter now! Beep!"

"How did you find me?"

"Whitepages.com.au."

"Oh, right. Okay. Why are you here?"

"Vanguard International needs you!"

"No, no, no they don't," Danny said, throwing his arms in the air, walking back across his apartment and sitting on his couch.

"Yes! Yes they do! Your team needs you. More than they need Robo Squirrel."

Danny buried his head in his hands. "I betrayed them. I killed people. I tried to kill all of them."

"It is Robo Squirrel's understanding that your body was being controlled by another consciousness when those incidents took place."

"It doesn't matter. I let Hal in. I brought him back from the future."

"You were used."

"Yes."

"Beep."

"Um... yeah."

"Now you must return!"

"Why?"

"Because you are a Vanguardian."

"Not anymore."

"Always."

Declan tapped madly at his keyboard. "The squirrel is not responding, the squirrel is not responding..."

"I know, I know," Declan 2 replied.

"What the fuck is happening?!" Their boss, Jacob Rogers, yelled as he entered the room.

"Um... the squirrel is not responding," Declan answered.

"Then what the fuck is it doing?"

"It's convinving Hearn to rejoin the team."

Cartoon smoke started appearing from Rogers' ears.

"...why?"

"We think... um..." Declan 2 began. "We think he's trying to do something nice for the team."

Brianna, Tiberius, BF and Leslie stood outside the main entrance of The Facility, debating whether or not to go in after the others.

"We can't leave the doorway unguarded..." Leslie said.

"But what if the guys need help?" Brianna countered.

"Damn," Leslie muttered.

Meanwhile, something had caught Tiberius' interest. He jogged across the iron floor that extended out from The Facility, to the huge dock on the eastern side of it. The others followed.

"A vessel has embarked from here recently," Tiberius said to the others as they caught up with him. He was kneeling down at the edge of the dock, a soaking wet piece of rope in his hands.

"Well... shit," BF said in reply.

"What does that mean?" Leslie asked.

"That they cleared out of this place and probably took their giant weapon with them," Brianna answered.

"Most likely," Tiberius added.

"Well... shit," BF said again.

Inside The Facility, Grissom had hit a dead end when the hallway he was following turned into a staircase. The stairs led downwards, into a basement. The basement, and the stairwell descending towards it, had been flooded with water.

"Damn it. I need to know what's down there," Grissom said, turning his head to find Phil and Mxy approaching behind him.

"You think something's there?" Phil asked.

"There's nothing on these upper levels. Any storage or record keeping must be down there," Grissom replied, pointing. "We need to find out who's doing this. And we need evidence that can put them away."

"So..." Phil began. "How do we get down there?"

Grissom thought for a moment. "We need a team member who can survive and function underwater for an extended period of time..."

"Ooh! I know!" Mxy said, and disappeared for a moment. When he returned, Danny was standing beside him.

"Ta daaa!"

"What the...? Huh? Fuck!" Danny said, rubbing his head.

"Danny!" Phil exclaimed in surprise.

"Danny," Grissom said, sounding a lot more subdued. He turned his head and said "Mxy", in an accusatory tone. "A current team member".

"What in the name of shitfucking hell is going on?!" Danny yelled.

Phil answered before Grissom could say anything. "We need to find out if there's any evidence pointing to the identity of who's behind the robot attacks down in that flooded level."

"Oh. Right. So you need someone who can grow gills and fins and whale blubber and night vision and head down there," Danny replied.

"Apparently," Grissom said, glaring sideways at Mxy.

"You couldn't put on a goddamn scuba suit?" Danny asked.

"You see any around here?" Grissom countered.

Danny sighed, long and low. "Fine," he finally said.

"Great!" Phil said, grinning.

"Yeah," Grissom added.

Danny stepped to the edge of the flooded stairwell and took off his jacket.

"You know... if it wasn't for that robot squirrel tracking me down, this would be the weirdest thing that's happened to me all day," he said, then dived in.