RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Conniver Series 07.04.05

Monroe: This is it! Tonight, everything comes to a head!

Marcum: All the chaos and mayhem we've seen over the last month has been leading to this one night!

Monroe: Chris Oakley leads the Bond Brigade against the TN Rockers and Doc. Mid-Nite!

Marcum: The Doctor truly is a genius for setting up this match! If the TN Rockers win, Doc. Mid-Nite is guaranteed an Intercuntinental title shot at Arma Gadda Da Vida!

Monroe: After the events of Anathema Wednesday, Meeko has put together a team of hotties to take on Princess Elisa, Batwoman, and the Anibabes!

Marcum: Just because she hire Lor and Divas to help her doesn't mean they won't turn on her in the end!

Monroe: Balls Nasty and the SDC hope to finally bring an end to the Bastardo Family!

Marcum: If they don't kill each other first!

Monroe: And finally, the Dark Lords may have bitten off more than they can chew! Joe Mama, Nowhereman, Mister JLA, and Captain Howdy are teaming up to try and put an end to the days of darkness!

Marcum: Do they really think they have what it takes?

Monroe: We'll find out, right now!

Bond Brigade vs. The Tuesday Night Rockers with Doc.Mid-Nite single choice

BB: (TC) Chris Oakley, Ian Bond, Senor Perdicion, Hombre Legarto (22%, 5 Votes)

TNR: (TC) James Fantsic, Big T, Tommy Savitz, Doc.Mid-Nite (78%, 18 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 6:35 PM

Hotties Hangover! single choice

(TC) Lor, Meeko, Stareena, ButterRican (49%, 17 Votes)

(TC) PrincessElisa, Batwoman, Cowgirl Jack, Bianca (51%, 18 Votes)

Total Votes: 35 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 6:35 PM

Balls Nasty and the Sudden Death Connection vs. The Bastardo Family single choice

(TC) Balls Nasty, PenWing, Captain Sammitch, Chewy Walrus (77%, 27 Votes)

(TC) Charlie, Howler, Highwayman, Johnny Evil (23%, 8 Votes)

Total Votes: 35 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 6:35 PM

The Dark Lords vs. The Allied Powers with Nowherman and Joe Mama single choice

DL: (TC) Grimm, Darth, Pig Iron, Spandex Monkey Man (51%, 18 Votes)

(TC) Joe Mama, MisterJLA, Captain Howdy, Nowhereman (49%, 17 Votes)

Total Votes: 35 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 6:35 PM

'Walk This Way' starts to play, and The Tuesday Night Rockers make their way down to the ring. The crowd reception is as rapturous as ever, and as the team get into the ring Fantastic takes a mic

James Fantastic: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages. RDCW proudly brings to you, The future TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLLLLLLD! The Original Rocker James Fantastic! Tommy 'The Surgeon' Savitz! The Tokyo Titan Big T! The Tuesday! Night! ROCKERRRRRRRRS!

Tommy Savitz:: And, of course, if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya—SUCK IT!

The crowd pops massively as The Tuesday Night Rockers pose in the ring. Terri Savitz playfully blows a kiss to the audience. AJR takes the mic, and speaks

AJR: That's right, boys! You're dealing with a new look, new attitude set of Rockers! We're back, we're bad, and we're coming for YOU! Ian St. Bond might be able to talk a decent wrestling match, on a good day, but when it comes to wrestling he'd be advised to throw in the towel befre we get started, 'cos we are gonna DESTROY YOU!

Monroe: Fighting talk from AJR!

Marcum: I think I'm gonna be sick!

AJR: As for The Mid-Nite Doctor, you just sit back and enoy the ride! The Rockers are on the case, and we really don't need you. You just sit in the corner safe and tight, keep out of our way and wait for your title shot at Arma Gadda Da Vidda!

AJR hands the mic to James Fantastic

James Fantastic: I can't really add anything meaningful to this promo, but Chris Oakley, I just gotta say this. How Many times are we gonna have to beat your ass into the floor for you to get the message! I mean, Good God Man, I can't think of a single match we've had that we haven't won!

Marcum: What that says about The Bond Brigade I would hate to think about!

James Fantastic: So, I figure it's about time we wrap this up, 'cos you don't mean Jack SHIT in this corporation!

More pops, and Tommy takes the mic

Tommy: We'd like this to go out to the Allied Powers in the back! I got two words for Y'all: Tag Titles! You got them, we want them!

Monroe: If that's not a challenge I don't know what is!

James Fantastic: Ladies and Gentlemen The Original Rocker James Fantastic! Tommy 'The Surgeon' Savitz! The Tokyo Titan Big T! The Tuesday! Night! ROCKERRRRRRRRS!

Walk ThisWay plays, and The Rockers amke thier way to the back

Monroe: Folks, I'm sure you're wondering why Connivers Series was delayed for an entire week.

Marcum: I know I was! This has been a complete disgrace to professional wreslting!

Monroe: Well, it turns out Doc Paragon was not bluffing at Anathema Wednesday. The board actually did give him the power to press charges against every member of the RDCW roster who did not walk away from the brawl. Due to the Thanksgiving holiday, no judge was willing to hear the case until the following Monday morning. Until then, all arrested RDCW wrestlers were forced to remain in custody.

Marcum: They couldn't even get bail for the holiday! It's sickening!

Monroe: The Doctor had no choice but to delay Conniver Series one week. There was concern the event would have to be cancelled all together, but First Amongst Daves was able to get all charges dropped before the following weekend. How Doc Paragon will respond to this is as of yet unknown, as he has not made any comments since the incident.

Marcum: That man needs to be fired! How can Mr. Kamphausen allow him to ruin the company like that?

Monroe: Even you have to admit things have gotten out of hand lately!

Marcum: Tell that to the fans!

Monroe: Tell that to Doc Paragon!

Marcum: I will, just as soon as he shows his face around here again! But I doubt he'll do that, after his latest defeat!

Nowhereman is walking through a corridor backstage when Fat Retard spots him,and walks over for an interview

FR:"Buhgawb Nowhereman,can I just ask you about your match tonight!"

NM:"You can,but I might not answer!"

FR:"Ok,well DROP TOE HOLD I was wondering what your feelings on your tag team partners for tonight,knowing your previous history with all three?"

NM:"Look,I have had people trying to get me to join their teams,I have had tag partners & friends turn on me,so when I get offered money to be in the main event with a team that I dont trust,I said yes!"

FR:"You said yes.....but why?"

NM:"Dude,dont you get it? These people know how big a star I am,and they are all trying to ride my coat tails. They either wanna tag with me,or they wanna make a name for themselves by attacking me. Either way,they will have their Andy Warhol 15 minutes,while my clock keeps ticking!"

FR:"So do you think you can tag with Joe & the Allied Powers without any trouble!"

NM:"As long as I get my big fat pay cheque for being in the main event,who cares?"

FR:"So you dont really care about the team?"

NM:"Dude,the only team I care about is Team Nowhereman......thats me,myself & I........Now fuck off you fat cunt!"

NM pushes Fat Retard out the way & carries on walking!

<Captain Sammitch walks into the SDC locker room to find PenWing preparing for their match.>

PW: Sammitch! Good to see you, man! Boy, you really missed out on a great Thanksgiving dinner.

CS: Ha. That's pretty funny.

PW: Not really. If you ask me, the whole thing sucks. I mean, you had to share a holding cell with Big Fat Elvis. That could not have been a good thing.

CS: Well, he didn't attempt any homosexual advances on me, so I didn't have to beat the guy up or nothin', but the guy talked me to death the whole damn time - and he was surprisingly open, not to mention knowledgeable, about Johnny Evil and Ariel's personal "rituals"...

<PenWing's jaw drops.>

PW: You're joking!

CS: I wish I were. Imperial stormtrooper codpieces, feather-dusters, and live hamsters just shouldn't be put to use with a common purpose in mind. Ever.

PW: I think I've heard enough.

CS: That's what I said, but do you think it mattered to him? And that was just one of the billion or so things the dude was yammering about. Between his incessant rambling and his incessant flatulence, I'm amazed I didn't hang myself. Plus, I overheard Killconey and Chewy playing D&D down the cell block and I really wanted to join in, but they couldn't hear me...




Don't tell anyone.

PW: Damn, man. Raw deal.

CS: Meh... I had it better than Oakley - he had the dubious privilege of sharing a cell with Llance.

PW: Oakley? Llance? I'm really not sure who to feel sorry for first! Good thing I bugged out before they noticed me.

CS: Um...just what were you doing during that brawl?

PW: I'm not at liberty to say.

CS: Come again?

PW: First Amongst Daves sat down with everyone not taken into custody and told us that under no circumstances are we to discuss our actions that night.

CS: That's not what I meant. He gave us the same speech in jail. I was talking about your actions in the ring.

PW: Oh, that. Let's not get ahead of ourselves right now. First things first... We've got a match tonight against the Bastardo Family.

CS: Yeah, about that... Chewy was planning on having a few words with Balls Nasty about the whole team thing...

PW: But?

CS: But... nobody's been able to find him.

PW: This is going to be an interesting match.

CS: Aren't they all?

PW: I dunno, man. Whaddya think? Are we in good shape for this match?

CS: If you're asking whether we have the ability to defeat the Bastardos in a straight-up fight, certainly. But I'm just not sure what to expect out of this fight.

PW: What are you gonna do, then?

CS: Same thing I always do, dude. Make my moves, beat their moves, and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. We better not let Louie out of our sight... or Balls Nasty, either.

<The camera fades out of the locker room.>

<The arena lights come up amid the cheers of fans, and Jay's Rap from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back blares over the speakers...>



Fuck, fuck, fuck,

Mutha mutha fuck,

Mutha mutha fuck fuck,

Mutha fuck mutha fuck noinch noinch noinch

One, two, one two three four

Noinch noinch noinch

Shmokin' weed, shmokin' wizz, doin' cokes, drinkin' beers,

Drinkin' beers beers beers

Rollin' fatties shmokin' blunts...



Monroe: I wonder who this could be...?







<Killconey and Chewy Walrus head down the ramp dressed as Jay and Silent Bob and are greeted by a mixture of cheers and laughter. Chewy is wearing the Hardcore belt around his waist but is otherwise in character. Killconey is waving his arms wildly, trying to get the crowd going...>



Marcum: Look at these clowns!



Monroe: Why don't we wait and listen to what they have to say?



Killconey: What up, bitches? I'm the main man Killconey, and this here's my hetero-life-partner Chewy Walrus!



<Chewy simply nods, acknowledging the crowd...>



Marcum: Hetero-what?



Monroe: Gimme a break! That's right out of the movie!



KC: Tonight, you're about to witness a fuckin' circus of ass-whoopin'! That's right - the Bastardo Bitches are goin' down like that "secretary" of theirs after two or three Cosmos... and after I get up behind that bitch and smack her on the ass like...



<Killconey begins pantomiming the topic at hand. Chewy Walrus taps him on the shoulder, scowls, gestures at the crowd around them, and shakes his head, gesturing for Killconey to cut the 'demonstration' short. The crowd erupts into laughter...>



KC: You're laughin' now, fools, but you're gonna fuckin' flip when the Bastardos get bitchslapped by the Faction of Action, the one and only Sudden Death Connection!



<Huge pops from the crowd...>



Marcum: I doubt that's how it's gonna end up!



KC: But before all that goes down, give it up for the new Hardcore champion, the man himself, Chewy Walrus!



<Chewy nods in acknowledgement amid huge pops from the crowd...>



Marcum: Champion? He only has that belt because Balls Nasty cheated! You can't earn the title by cheating!



Monroe: Never seems to bother you when the Bastardos do it. Besides, how do you cheat in hardcore???



KC: Not only can this man lay down some serious smack with a buncha bike chains on a stick, the tubby bitch swings a mean battle axe.



<Chewy gives a noncommittal gesture...>



Marcum: What's he talking about?



KC: So the fuzz decides to throw us in the can after things got out of hand at Analgesic Wednesday or whatever the hell it was called, and I use my phone call to tell the girlfriend 'Baby, bring me my Player's Handbook and my bag of dice!' So I'm all locked up and shit with Chewy in my cell, and across from us we got the boy Fantastic and dude Savitz, when I bust out the character sheets and we throw down. D&D, muthafuckas!



<Chewy puts a hand to his forehead, obviously not intending for Killconey to share this revelation...>



Monroe: After beating the hell out of each other, these gentlemen relax with a good game of Dungeons and Dragons!



KC: So my badass halfling rogue bitch, she fuckin' levels twice, but Chewy, man, he comes out swingin' with his half-orc barbarian and kicks ass nonstop. Fantastic was all doin' his pretty-boy shit with his half-elf wizard, when...



<Chewy taps Killconey on the shoulder and motions for him to cut it short again...>



KC: Okay, bro! Damn, you're a pushy motherfucker!



Marcum: Can't that bozo just cut to the chase already?!?



KC: All y'alls can be ready for a fuckin' spectacle here tonight! Tonight, not only will the S-D-fuckin'-C come out on top thanks to Sudden Death and the Sammitch Slam, but Chewy Walrus here is really gonna show you how a champion throws down!



< Killconey raises Chewy's right arm amid massive pops from the crowd...>



KC: Tonight, get ready to get rowdy, 'cuz y'alls are about to see some crazy shit in this here ring. Poice!



<Killconey's entrance music - Also Sprach Zarathustra from 2001 - blares over the speakers as the crowd cheers wildly. Killconey takes a bow and Chewy Walrus acknowledges the crowd before the duo exits the ring and heads up the ramp and backstage...>

After a promo for Arma-Gadda-Da-Vidda, we're back. Mike "The Mouth" Monroe is in the ring...

Monroe: It is my great pleasure to introduce to all of you the RDCW Heavyweight Cheese Champion...JOE MAMA!!!

"Faded" starts up and out walks Joe Mama. The crowd goes ape-shit, appreciative of his last few matches against Grimm, as he walks to the ring. He enters the ring and takes his time, holding up his Big Cheese Title to the crowd, which only makes them cheer louder. Finally he walks over to Mike "The Mouth" Monroe and takes the extra microphone that he's holding out.

JM: LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT!!!

The crowd goes wild, cheering and chanting...

Monroe: Champ, you've been in two grueling matches versus Grimm. Tonight you face seemingly tough odds as you face the entire Dark Lords faction with a team that, to put it mildly, you don't really get along. Your thoughts on your match?

JM: Monroe, this match is an absolute necessity. Our Last Blood Match was ended by the Powers That Be - nothing was settled there. At Anathema Wednesday we fought in a match that these fans demanded, but we didn't come any closer to settling our feud...even if I did get the pin. Tonight's the night that Grimm and I finish this thing. And if I have to team up with the most laughably bad partners the Doctor coulds get me, so be it. The end result will be the same as if I went solo: the Dark Lords WILL be torn apart!!!

Monroe: Let's talk about your partners...first off, Nowhereman.

JM: Nowhereman is a great wrestler who's stuck in the middle of his midlife crisis. He's out for one man - himself. Which is fine. But don't think for a second that I've forgotten the RwO days or his former alliance with Grimm. Nowhereman, if you're in this for the win and the paycheck, fine. But if you step out of line...if you even look like you're about to rejoin your former boyfriend, believe me when I say that I'll eliminate you the same damn way I eliminate a Dark Lord!!!

The fans cheer...

Monroe: The Allied Powers...

JM: A team whose success is more being in the right place at the right time than any semblance of skill. I take nothing away from the hardcore veteran, Captain Howdy. And I'll say this for MisterJLA: he's had the Devil's luck in his time here. Those two have a grudge of their own against the Dark Lords, so I trust them a little more than I do Nowhereman. Doesn't mean I like 'em. Doesn't mean I'll be joining them for afternoon tea or cricket matches. Leave that "Getalong Gang" shit to the SDC. Gentlemen, if you want to get the job done, we'll get the damned job done. But don't think I'm turning my back on you for any period of time!

Monroe: Speaking of the SDC, when you were in the hospital, they visited you. At Anamthema Wednesday, they got involved with you post-match. Your thoughts on them?

JM: Monroe, I take nothing away from them in terms of talent. They do their thing. I do mine. At Anathema Wednesday, PenWing made a statement. Maybe he got caught up in the moment as he held my Big Cheese Title and remembered past glories. Maybe he wanted to see if the fans remembered him. Maybe he was calling in his marker for a rematch with me. Doesn't matter. PenWing, I hope you enjoyed your moment that night. I hope it filled you with pride to hear the fans cheering as you remembered what it was like to be The Man. And if you're thinking about a rematch, let me just say in advance: BRING IT!!!

More fans cheering. More chants...

JM: I'd love to throw down with you again! I'm dying to prove to these fans and the rest of the RDCW why I AM the Big Cheese Champion and why I AM the best damned wrestler this promotion has seen! If they didn't figure it out after watching my Last Blood Match or my Anathema Wednesday match, let them figure it out now!!! And, PenWing, if you EVER get involved in one of my matches...if you EVER put your hands on MY Big Cheese Title...I will remind you of just how YOUR title reign ended!!!

Monroe: Let me ask you one last question, Joe Mama: Over the last few weeks, there have been promos for a new faction coming to the RDCW. The only hint as to who they are is the Roman numeral "four". Do you have any thoughts as to who they might be?

JM: Monroe, I've been a bit too busy with more immediate, more pressing matters to notice a new faction. The SDC has two new members That makes four...maybe it's them. Maybe the Tuesday Night Rockers found another boy-band cast-off. I don't know. I don't care. A few weeks ago, Grimm was talking about powerful numbers. Something about seven. Well, four's a pretty powerful number in its own right. A ring has four sides and four corners. Conniver Series features four matches with teams of four facing off against each other. So maybe tonight is the perfect night for this new faction to reveal itself...

The crowd is chanting "FOUR!!!"

JM: Thing is, this new faction, if they're even a new faction, sounds like they're targetting champions. If that's the case, I don't see them lasting too long. Because if they're thinking of coming after the Heavyweight Cheese Championship, they'll find it's not so easy to take away! Let me make it clear to these FOUR "gentlemen": if you want my belt, come get it! Just be prepared to bleed for your efforts and be ready for disappointment!!!

Monroe: Joe Mama, thank you for your time!!!

"Faded" plays again. Joe Mama takes time to hype up the crowd, and then leaves the ring and makes his way to the back. Fans are cheering his name, but the chants of "FOUR!!!" can still be heard...

“Bad Boys..Bad Boys..Watcha gonna Do?“ begins playing over the Cheesdeome speakers..

Marcum: “What is this-- a video clip? Ooh, I know what this is. It’s a clip of Doc Paragon’s post-Anathema Wednesday housecleaning.”

Monroe: “Are you sure? Why didn’t Doc tell us about it?”

Bukake: “This is Bukaki..Havok numbah one announcah. We here at Loboken rocar station thlee. It appears sevelar of our westrels are being put in plison. Being numbah one announcah I have forroed story from its inception. Here is video clip.”

Marcum: “Inception? Can kids watch this video?”

Monroe: “Oh, Marcum.” Shakes head.

*The video begins playing. Horrible camera work is displayed as the cameraman is running with Bukaki in the lead. Darth and Grimm tag team an officer.

Grimm: “Darth, run.”

*Grimm and Darth run out the loading doors of the Cheesedome.

SPAMM: “Eek Ock OOOOOOOK.”

Pig Iron: “Hold on man there’s only three of them.“

*Spamm takes three nightstick clubs to the head, and continues to struggle to free himself.

PI: “Hell yeah SPAMMer give em hell.”

Suddenly 3 more officers arrive and entrap the beleaguered Spamm and PI.

Bukakee: “This is clazy. Ret’s forrow them, come on this is hot stoly.”

*The video shows a heavily edited chase scene with Bookaki chasing after the police cruiser until they arrive at Roboken Local Station 3. “Bad Boys” playing in the background.

*Back to Bukacki.

Bukakie: “We are hele now. How can Connivel Selies go on without SPAMM and Pig Ilon? Ret’s take a rook.”

*SPAMM is sitting at a desk having his information taken by a lovely, young female officer.

*Officer: “Come on. Please answer my questions. Again, what is your current residence?”

SPAMM: The wastelands of nuclear war. The scream of pain that echoes through the night. The entire recorded output of William Shatner. I reside, officer, in the places of true darkness.

Officer: "Huh?"

Pig Iron: “Hah.”

Officer: “What are you laughing at, Mr My Real Name is Pig Iron?”

PI: “Hey, what can I tell you? I’m working off the script.”

Officer: “I assure you this is very serious.”

PI: “Oooh, I’m sure it is. Who issued the aahhh, complaint, Ma’am?”

Officer: “One Dr. Paragon.”

PI: “Officer???”

Officer: “Schwarz.”

PI: “Interesting. Anyway, Officer Schwarz, my friend SPAMM and I are working off of a heavily contrived script provided by Doc paragon. He is as completely unoriginal as he is imbecilic. You see, Officer Schwarz, we are real men of darkness. We beat people until they are bloodied and crumpled into a lifeless mass on the floor….this is true. We are the last of a select group of warriors left ...true Whoaayaaahhhs of pain and darkness in a world of untalented jobbers and fake breasts.”

Officer Schwarz: “Huh?”

SPAMM: “Eek Ock Ook..Occckk, oooocckkk, aaaakkkk.”

PI: “OK, SPAMM, I’ll tell her. Don’t you ever get tired. Tired of the falseness of what you do. Trying to help, but never being able to. Trying to be something important, trying to be real in a world of H2s and make-up for men. I bet you get tired of it. The world is pain, and SPAMM and I, well we just dish it out to those that deserve it…and we get paid for it.”

Officer Schwarz: “So, you're hired muscle? For who, the mob?”

PI: “No, no, no, you don’t get it…”

OS: “No, your confusing me. You don’t speak English.”

PI: “Officer, let me speak clearly…..””

*PI jumps up from his chair (foolishly uncuffed ) and swipes all the clutter off of Schwarz’s desk…Officer Schwarz goes for her nightstick.

PI : “Let me speak more clearly…We are entertainers, real men in a world of metro-sexual jobbers like Captain Sammitch, Mister JLA, and Joe Mama. We will not be simplified and classified and categorized into a simple world of black and white, good and evil. We are real men of darknessssss, whoayaahhs of painnnnnnn. Whooayyahhs of grey in Doc Paragon’s world of black and white. We are two of four that make a team of one. We are unity and clarity of purpose. We will not stop until our message is heard, and undertstood...am I clear now Officer Schwarz?”

OS: “OOO Joe mama?? Yeah, you’re wrestlers…I get it.”

SPAMM: “Eeeeeeeekkkkk.” Spamm covers his eyes and shakes his head.

PI: “So, you know Joe Mama…isn’t that nice for you?”

OS: “That Sammitch he’s kinda cute.”

PI: “Did you understand anything else?“

OS: “yeah, you guys are the bad guys..”

Bukahki: “Good thing fol her that they ah no buffeh tabres alound.”

PI: “Schwarz I just spent 3 minutes explaining to you that we are not evil, or bad. We are just doing our jobs. It takes a dedicated individual to do their jobs, Schwarz. Don’t you feel left out and used sitting here pushing paper while other officers are out there doing the glory work..the real work? You’re work is important, but others don’t see it…don’t appreciate it. You make a difference, but no one notices it….or cares. SPAMM and I are making a difference. We are changing things, but sitting in here listening to trumped up, scripted charges is just foolishness.”

OS: “It says here assault with intent to do harm, and pre-meditated….wait. Pre-meditated intent to maim and assault with a deadly chair??? These are trumped up charges.”

SPAMM: "Proof, if ever proof were necessary. Paragon is weak, a blinded old fool struggling to impose order in a world of chaos"

PI: “Do you see now? Doc paragon’s money can infest even the Roboken Police department. Do you see the horrible scripts? Do you see the state of the whoorrllldd? I tell you Officer Schwarz, people like us can make a difference, when one becomes a whoaayyah of darkness…a Dark Lord..one can do the things that need to be done..clean up the establishment, a person can live and act in the grey areas and promote change from within. Let’s go SPAMM.”

OS: “Wait, I can’t just let you go.”

PI: “Hit SPAMM with your nightstick. 3 times ..right upside the head.”

SPAMM: “oooook.”

PI: “It’ll be OK..Do It..Do your job!”

*Officer Schwarz hits SPAMM..hard..and gives him 3 strikes to the head. SPAMM shakes it off, and doesn’t fall.

PI: “See, that’s a real man of darkness…a whoaayaaahh of paaaiinnn. No one can stop us, not even the Doc Paragon infested Roboken Police Dept. Join us Officer Schwarz, together we can usurp the power of Doc Paragon, and rule the RDCW, and then the whoooaaallld…one step at a time. Your dedication to protect and serve is wasted here…you cannot protect and serve until you dish out some painnn.”

SPAMM: “Eeek?”

PI: “Of course..you too SPAMM. Officer Schwarz, do you want to make a difference?”

OS: “Uuummmmm, are you hitting on me?”

PI: “Yes, but that really isn’t the point right now.”

OS: “I won’t be doing paperwork right?”

PI: “Oh, no..I see your potential very clearly revealed to me already.”

OS: “In that case…”

*All 3 leave the room….

Bookakie: “ That was just weild. Rike a tlanscendentarist.. This is Bookake Havok numbah one announcah with an excrusive lepolt.”

Monroe: “Trannie, what?”

Marcum: “I have no idea what we just watched. So, did those two get booked?”

Monroe: “No, it looks like the Dark Lords just enlisted anew recruit. Buhgawd.”

*The lights at the Cheesedome go dark and Cemetary Gates begins playing over the speakers.

Monroe: "Unexpected..what is this, the Dark Lords."

Marcum: "Wait, where is Grimm? And hey, is that Officer Schwarz following behind them?"

*The Dark Lords form a circle in the ring and the lights come back on. Pig Iron takes a mic.*

PI: The whoaayyahs of darkness, are here!

*The crowd cheers as Pig Iron hands the mic to Darth.*

Darth: The power of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddde is all encompassing. No one can escape it. Those who try ultimately fail. So it has always been, so it will always beeeeeeeeeee.

Tonight, the Dark Lords become whole. Tonight, the Dark Lords become...seven. So Grimm has spoken, so it has been done.

Monroe: Is Darth referring to Officer Schwarz?

Marcum: I have no idea. I've been lost since the video was shown.

Darth: Joe Mama, you have no fear of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddde. Perhaps you have no fear. You speak of this IV as if it has no meaning. The Dark Lords have been watching for this IV, and of this we agree. The IV cannot stand up to the might, to the power, of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddde.

Know this, Joe Mama: The reason Grimm does not stand here before our match is because he deems you unworthy of his attention. You are beneath his greatness, his power. You are beneath the Dark Lords. You team with those who cannot stand up against the power of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddde. Mister JLA, Captain Howdy, Nowhereman, all have stood against the Dark Lords. All have fallen before us.

Joe Mama, do you truly believe you can stand against that which you cannot destroy? Your time is coming, Joe Mama. Know this, and beware the POWER, of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddde.

*Darth drops the mic and raises his hands. The lights go out and lightning strikes the ring posts seven times. A sinister laugh is heard over he speakers as with each strike, a shadowy figure appears in the center of the ring. After the final strike, the lights return, and the Dark Lords are gone.*

Monroe: Buhgawb! I think I saw Grimm laughing in the center of the ring!

Marcum: I know I heard his laughter, but I don't know what it was that I saw!

Monroe: What could this mean for Joe Mama and his team?

Marcum: Forget Joe Mama, what could this mean for this mysterious IV we keep hearing about?

Bond Brigade versus Tuesday Night Rockers and Doc Mid-Nite

As “Walk This Way” played over the Cheese-O-Tron speakers, the Tuesday Night Rockers, along with Doc Mid-Nite, came to the ring. The crowd went wild as James Fantastic, Tommy Savitz, and Big T hyped up the crowd while Doc Mid-Nite stalked around the ring as if he was taking inventory of something.

Then “Rooster” started up and the members of the Bond Brigade came to the ring. It was obvious that El Daga was not missed, as the addition of Hombre Lagarto seemed to galvanize the team. Ian Bond led the team to the ring and immediately both teams decided to let their captains start the match. The bell rang and Chris Oakley and James Fantastic faced off.

James Fantastic had the speed advantage and used it to keep Chris off-guard with chops, kicks, and quick moves. James employed a series of quick tags to each of his Tuesday Night Rocker teammates, noticeably keeping Doc Mid-Nite out of the fight. While this kept one of their men fresh, it backfired slightly when Chris Oakley was able to reverse Big T’s attempt at a Tommy-Slam (choke slam) to hit a modified Kill ‘Em All that stunned Big T long enough for Chris to hit his Full Metal Jacket and get the first pin. Big T was the first man eliminated!

Tommy Savitz entered the ring, prepared for battle. At the insistence of Hombre Lagarto, Chris tagged him in. As the Luchador locked up with the Surgeon, the crowd seemed distracted from the match-up. It became clear why when El Daga came out of the crowd and attacked his former partner, Senor Perdicion, bashing him over the head with a long wooden cane.

Marcum: El Daga’s whacking Senor Perdicion like he’s one big piñata!!!

Senor Perdicion fell to the ring floor and El Daga continued to assault him until security was able to intervene, arrest El Daga, and call the EMTs. Senor Pedicion would be unable to compete in the match.

Back in the ring, Ian Bond was working over Tommy Savitz with a mix of brawling and martial arts when Doc Mid-Nite, who seemed to have had enough of spinning his wheels, jumped in the ring and blind-sided Ian Bond. Mid-Nite tossed Savitz to his corner and then resumed his attack on Ian Bond. A “Lethal Dose” DDT followed an “Attitude Adjustment” spine-buster. As Ian Bond lay unconscious in the center of the ring, Doc Mid-Nite climbed to the top of the farthest corner and hit his “Long Kiss Goodnight” to get the pin and the second elimination. Obviously running on pure adrenaline, Doc tossed Ian over the top rope to the ring floor where he lay unmoving.

Chris, stunned by the loss of two teammates, went to Ian’s side and called for the EMTs again. Meanwhile, Hombre Lagarto entered the match again as James Fantastic tagged Doc Mid-Nite out of the ring. The two cruiserweights battled back and forth while Chris Oakley watched his manager get carted out of the ring on a stretcher. Chris went back to his corner in time to see Hombre Lagarto struggling to make a tag, clearly the victim of Savitz’ and Fantastic’s tag assault. Hombre Lagarto managed to get mere inches away from his corner when Doc Mid-Nite ran in and slugged Chris Oakley, sending Chris to the ring floor. Mid-Nite went after him as Tommy Savitz and James Fantastic went back to work on Hombre Lagarto. The Tuesday Night Rockers delivered two round of Rough Justice on the Luchador and got the third elimination as Doc Mid-Nite slid Chris Oakley into the ring. The Rockers moved in to finish Oakley off, but Doc-Midnite made it clear that Chris was HIS to finish. The Rockers stepped back and Doc Mid-Nite delivered three consecutive Blackout Bombs to get the final elimination before he slipped out of the ring and made his way to the back, leaving Tommy Savitz and James Fantastic to celebrate in the ring.

Hotties Hangover!
(TC) Lor, Meeko, Stareena, ButterRican vs. (TC) PrincessElisa, Batwoman, Cowgirl Jack, Bianca

With the hotties in the ring, Lothar signaled the bell. Lor started out against Bianca, but soon she was fighting off both Anibabes as Elisa and Batwoman distracted Lothar. Lor managed to hit Punch & Judy and made the tag to Stareena, but the former women's champion quickly found herself locked in ABSOLUTION!!! by Elisa. Screaming in pain, Stareena tapped out. ButterRican entered the ring next, irate over Elisa's treatment of her fellow Diva. However, her anger clouded her judgment, and after a botched moonsault, she too found herself tapping to ABSOLUTION!!!.

Marcum: Princess Elisa seems to be making a statement tonight!

Monroe: But can she continue to make that statement against Meeko?

Elisa quickly tagged out as Meeko entered the ring. Bianca stepped in to face her, and it wasn't long before Meeko had Bianca trapped in her corner with Lor. Meeko and Lor began tagging in and out, and soon Meeko was able to hit the Meekobomb on Bianca for the pin. This brought Cowgirl Jack flying into the ring. CJ connected with a missile dropkick for a two count. She tried to pull Meeko into her corner, but Meeko was able to lock in a triple Meekoplex. Meeko tagged in Lor, who hit High Comedy to eliminate CJ.

Monroe: It's all even now!

Marcum: Here comes Batwoman!

As Batwoman raced into the ring, Lor quickly tagged out. Meeko rushed in, but Batwoman hit her with a series clotheslines and followed up with some vertical suplexes. As hard as Meeko tried, she could not get back any momentum, and finally succumbed to a top rope DDT.

Marcum: Now Lor is all-alone!

Monroe: Well, she is the Lone She-wolf! Everything is as it should be!

Lor became a blur as she ran at Batwoman, taking her down with a clothesline. Not waiting for to get back up, Lor locked in La Pagliaccia. Batwoman struggled mightily, but she could not hold on and tapped out. Lor stood up to face Princess Elisa, who slowly stepped through the ropes. The two circled each other for a few moments before Elisa made her move, diving for Lor's legs. Lor got out of the way, but Elisa took her down with a drop toehold. Elisa tried to lock in ABSOLUTION!!!, but Lor was able to prevent her from locking in the hold. Lor tried to hit Punch & Judy, but Elisa was able to avoid the move and execute a face buster of her own. Elisa quickly locked in ABSOLUTION!!!, and Lor put on the fight of her life to break the hold. Try as she might, Lor could not break out or reach the ropes. After quite a few minutes, Lor appeared to pass out. Lothar raised her hand, and it fell. Lothar raised her hand a second time, and it fell yet again. A third time confirmed what the shocked crowd had already realized, Lor has succumbed to ABSOLUTION!!!. Lothar signaled for the bell and declared Princess Elisa the winner.

Balls Nasty and the Sudden Death Connection vs. The Bastardo Family

"The Ecstasy Of Gold" plays as Louie Bastardo, Grace, Big Fat Elvis, and Ariel accompany Charlie, Johnny Evil, and Howlerama to the ring for their match. As they step into the ring, "Let's Get It Started" starts playing, and Killconey accompanies Captain Sammitch, PenWing, and Chewy Walrus to the ring. They wait at the ring steps for "Bad Company" to start playing, but when it does, Balls Nasty is nowhere to be seen.

Monroe: Where's Balls?

Marcum: They don't have any! Hah!

Louie demands that the match start, and Lothar has no choice but to agree. He calls for the SDC to send someone into the ring. PenWing steps through the ropes to start the match off against the Million Dollar Pitbull, Charlie. Lothar signals the bell, and the two start things off with a series of holds and throws. Charlie tries to bully his way to a pin, but PenWing manages to execute a suplex. Both wrestlers lay in the ring as Lothar counts. At six, both make simultaneous tags. Charlie tags in Johnny Evil, and PenWing tags in Chewy Walrus. Johnny tries to out-muscle the Walrus, but he has no success as Chewy takes him down with Walrus Wallop (hard clothesline). Chewy goes for the pin but Highwayman slips into the ring and breaks the count.

Monroe: That's not right!

Marcum: No, it isn't! Chewy should have been disqualified for unnecessary roughness!

Chewy pulls Johnny to the SDC corner and tags in Captain Sammitch. Sammitch starts to work over Johnny with various holds, and almost has a pin but Howler distracts Lothar. Sammitch stands up and starts to walk towards the Family corner, but Johnny hits him with a low blow. With Sammitch down, Johnny gets to his corner and tags in Howler. Howler walks over to Sammitch, now standing on his feet, and gives him the Full Moon Rising (Eye rake). Sammitch's hand goes to his eye, and Howler hits the Full Moon (clothesline from Hell). Howler goes for the pin, but PenWing breaks the count. Lothar orders PenWing back to his corner, and Howler helps Sammitch back to his feet. Howler tries for another Full Moon Rising, but Sammitch blocks it and starts attacking Howler with a series of martial arts chops. He backs Howler into the ropes near the SDC corner and tags in PenWing. Together, Sammitch and PenWing each take an arm and Irish Whip Howler into the ropes. As he bounces back at them, PenWing hits the Spin-o-rama as Sammitch hits the Sammitch Spin. The double team kick send Howler down to the mat.

Monroe: Now that's team work!

Marcum: Lothar should have disqualified them for that double team! They took too long!

PenWing goes for the cover, but Johnny Evil spring boards off the ropes and hits the Skyway to Tomorrowland (Half twisting moonsault legdrop) on PenWing. Johnny slides out of the ring and Lothar starts to count. Both wrestlers make tags before the count of ten, with Chewy and Highwayman both entering the ring at the same time. While they brawl with each other, Killconey starts to yell out comments to Grace and Ariel. Big Fat Elvis takes offense, and moves quickly towards to Killconey.

Monroe: Uh oh! Looks like things are about to get out of hand outside the ring!

Marcum: Killconey has it coming after the way he's been mouthing off to Grace and Ariel!

As Big Fat Elvis approaches, Killconey runs onto and across the ring apron, and hits the Dragon Reborn (Dragonrana) on Big Fat Elvis. Big Fat Elvis is only momentarily phased, and he gets back up. Killconey runs up the ring steps and across the ring apron, and hits him with Earthfall (flipping (flying) neck breaker). At this point, everyone except Chewy and Highwayman get involved in the fight outside the ring. Howler sees that Charlie and Johnny Evil have things under control, and while Lothar is distracted, he double teams with Highwayman to hit Don't Mess with the Family (Double Russian Leg sweep) and the Goodfella (Clothesline and German Suplex) on Chewy. Lothar orders everyone not in the match to leave the ring side.

Monroe: The family has been banned from ring side!

Marcum: That ain't right! Killconey started it!

Monroe: Lothar just banned him, too!

Marcum: Lothar should only have banned him!

Louie and Grace shout at Lothar outside the ring, and Lothar doesn't see PenWing and Sammitch throw Charlie and Johnny Evil into each other. PenWing and Sammitch quickly slide into the ring and double clothesline Howler on their way to their corner. Chewy gets back to his feet and hits Highwayman with the Walrus Tusk (modified chest-level spear). Satisfied that all non-participants have left ring side, Lothar turns around to see Chewy cover Highwayman. He awards the pin just as Charlie, Johnny Evil, and Howler all return to their corner.

Lothar argues in the Family corner with JE, Charlie, and Howler who are clearly upset with not only the expulsion of the Family at ringside as well as the elimination of Highwayman. Lothar keeps telling them that one of them has to get in the ring so that the match can continue, but the Family is too busy arguing. Chewy, tired of waiting, walks over to the Bastardo corner and grabs Howler by the head and pulls him over the ropes and into the ring. As the two begin to fight in the ring, Louie and Grace run out of the entrance in a panic.

Monroe: What the hell is going on here? Lothar banned both Louie and Grace from ringside.

Marcum: Louie is his own man. No minimum wage flunky like Lothar is going to tell him what to do.

Louie is leading Grace by the hand as he leaves the entrance stage and makes his way to the audience guardrail. They look as if they are about to try and enter the audience when Louie realizes the kind of reception he'd get if he crossed the rail. Instead, he leads Grace around the side and tries to hide behind the lighting equipment.

Monroe: I don't know what Louie Bastardo and Grace think they are...... Wait a minute....... I'm getting word of a commotion backstage. We have a camera arriving on scene.

The picture goes to a shaky camera as it enters the Bastardo dressing room. Big Fat Elvis is sitting up, unconscious in one of the lockers with Ariel, crying, trying to wake him up. Blood is trickling down his forehead. The camera pans left quickly to see El Superbeasto being choked with a crowbar.

Monroe: Oh my gawd! It’s Balls Nasty!

Nasty is in plain clothes, blue jeans, work boots, and a flannel shirt. He lets go of the choke hold on the Giant Luchadore and brings the crowbar swinging directly into the back of the man until he collapses on the floor of the locker room. Nasty pushes the camera crew out of the way as he exits. They follow him as he walks towards the arena, looking around every corner as if he’s searching for something.

Monroe: By the look of his outfit, Balls Nasty didn't show up to the Cheesedome tonight ready for a match; but he sure as hell came for a fight.

Marcum: Outfit? That’s pretty gay.

Monroe: Shut up!

Balls Nasty makes his way out onto the entrance stage. By this time, Howler has tagged out to Charlie who is now in the ring with Chewy. Nasty notices the match in the ring and drops the crowbar. As he walks down the ramp, he rips off the flannel shirt to reveal the white wife-beater underneath. He climbs up to the apron and blind tags Chewy as he bounces off the rope from an Irish Whip. Charlie painfully picks up the Walrus and executes The Enforcer and covers for the pin. The New Family Enforcer is confused when Lothar doesn't begin the three count. Nasty runs up and delivers a boot straight to Charlie’s head.

Nasty pickup the groggy Charlie up off the mat as Chewy slowly rolls out of the ring and onto the ringside floor to catch his breath. Nasty hits a few knife edge chops across Charlie’s chest, turning it red. He then whips Charlie into a neutral corner. Charlie’s back collides hard against the turnbuckles. Balls Nasty climbs up on the ropes and begins to slam his fist into the side of Charlie’s skull. He ends it by bouncing up on the ropes and bringing down an elbow on top of Charlie’s head as he dismounts the rope.

Nasty then struts around the ring as Charlie falls to the canvas. He makes a few insults to the Bastardo crew as he passes. He then turns and sees the SDC in their corner. Sammitch angrily mentions Nasty’s tardiness to the match. Balls responds by telling Sammitch and the whole SDC to go to Hell. As the team bickers amongst themselves, Charlie makes his way to the his team’s corner and tags Howler in. Howler runs in quickly and hits Nasty with a forearm across the back.

Howler works on breaking Balls Nasty down. Though Nasty fights back with a series of suplexes and holds, the quick tagging in and out of the Family allows them to reserve their energies while keeping a quick pace to prevent Balls Nasty from regaining his. PenWing, Sammitch, and Chewy all try and get the tag to relieve Balls, but Nasty refuses to make the tags. Charlie holds Balls in an armlock as he tags in Johnny Evil. Evil climbs the turnbuckle and executes a Surprise in the Sky. Evil then turns and quickly tags in Highwayman, who comes in stomping on Balls. Howler picks him up, but Nasty hits Howler with a low blow. Nasty stands back up and continues to strike Howler with punches to the face. As Howler tries to regain his composure and fight back, Balls hits him with an Atomic Drop. Balls Nasty then picks Howler up on his shoulders and uses the Tavern Smasher to lay Howler out.

Charlie immediately enters the ring and charges Balls. Nasty ducks down and executes an flipping backtoss to throw Charlie over the top rope and to the floor on the outside. Johnny climbs the turnbuckle, but Nasty shakes the top rope, making Evil’s foot slip and his groin crash onto the turnbuckle. Nasty then positions Howler in the ring and climbs the top rope. Louie Bastardo runs up onto the apron to attempt to foil the move but is spotted by Nasty as he approaches. As Nasty eyes Louie from the top rope, the Family leader tries to retreat, but sees Chewy blocking the exit behind him. Louie darts into the middle of the ring. Nasty hops down from the turnbuckle. Louie runs across the ring and slides under the rope on the other side. Nasty gives chase. PenWing instinctively reaches out and tags Nasty as he starts to climb through the ropes. The SDC leader climbs up to the top rope and hits the High Holy Howe. Lothar makes the three count as Balls Nasty chases Louie out of the Cheesedome.

PenWing stands up to face the next family member, but he quickly finds himself on the recieving end of a Surprise in the Sky clothesline. Johnny goes for the cover but PenWing kicks out at two. Johnny helps PenWing up, and tries to Irish Whip him into the ropes but PenWing reverses the move and takes him down with the Drag'n'whip (Irish Whip into spear). PenWing tags in Chewy who moves to hit the Wrecking Ball (Samoan leg drop) on Johnny, but Johnny rolls out of the way just in time and tags in Charlie. Charlie climbs the corner ropes and hits the Wall Street Crash (Diving Knee Drop) on the Walrus. He goes for the cover, but Chewy throws him off. Chewy stands up and hits the Big Let-down (Russian back drop). He then lifts Charie into a choke hold for Random Acts of Violence (chokeslam finisher), but Charlie swings out of the hold and takes Chewy down with a facebuster. Charlie tags in Johnny, who climbs the ropes and hits Mission to Mars (Asai Moonsault). Johnny then tags Charlie back in. Charlie hits another Wall Street Crash and covers the Walrus to eliminate him.

PenWing is about to step through the ropes, but Sammitch puts his hand on his shoulder.

Monroe: It looks like Sammitch wants back in!

The Captain steps into the ring to face Charlie. He puts up his fists, signaling that he wants to fight. Charlie smiles and does the same. The two begin trading blows, but Sammitch gets some kicks in, and sends Charlie into his corner. Sammitch grabs a hold of Charlie but as he pulls him into the Sammitch Suplex, Johnny tags himself in. Sammitch hits two more Sammitch Suplexes and goes for the cover, but Johnny grabs him and quickly pull the Captain into the Countdown to Extinction (bridging combination of a deathlock and a facelock). Sammitch struggles against the hold, but he begins to lose consciousness.

Marcum: It's time to start the countdown!

Monroe: Don't give up on Sammitch just yet!

Lothar lifts Sammitch' arm twice, but it drops both times. He lifts it a third time, and as the crowd starts chanting "Sammitch! Sammitch!" his arm stays up.

Marcum: He's got nowhere to go! He should just tap out before he hurts himself!

With Lothar facing away from PenWing, he doesn't see the SDC member climb the ropes. PenWing leaps into the air and hits Johnny with a missile dropkick. Charlie enters the ring and attacks PenWing with the Million Dollar Pitbull (Discus Punch with his diamond-encrusted knuckle dusters). Charlie knocks PenWing out of the ring and follows him to the floor. The two continue to battle as Johnny Evil and Captain Sammitch lay motionless in the ring. Lothar begins to count.

Monroe: Sammitch and Johnny are about to be eliminated!

Marcum: And then Charlie can finish off PenWing and finally put an end to the SDC!

PenWing and Charlie continue to fight outside the ring. Charlie grabs a chair and swings at PenWing, but PenWing kicks the chair out of Charlie's hands with a Spin-o-rama. PenWing follows up with a spear and races to his corner. He shouts at Sammitch to make the tag. Sammitch crawls towards PenWing, but Johnny Evil gets to his feet and lifts Sammitch into Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (Cradle neck breaker that starts out like a fisherman's suplex). Sammitch summons all of his strength to reverse the move into a neck breaker of his own. Lothar again starts to count.

Marcum: Well that's just great! Now we're right back where we were just a few minutes ago!

Both wrestlers slowly begin to crawl to their corners. The crowd starts chanting for PenWing in the hopes that Sammitch can reach him in time. Johnny Evil makes the tag to Charlie first, but Sammitch makes one final push and tags PenWing in. PenWing quickly climbs the ropes and jumps at Charlie, taking to the mat with a cross body. PenWing tries to get the pin, but Charlie kicks out at two. Both wrestlers stand up, and Charlie runs at PenWing with a short clothesline. PenWing ducks the move and grabs Charlie from behind. He pulls back and hits a suplex. Charlie roles away from PenWing and gets back to his feet, but PenWing takes him down with a Russian leg sweep. Charlie again gets back up, but PenWing grabs his arm and whips him into the ropes for the Super Drag'n'whip. PenWing climbs the corner ropes for the High Holy Howe, but Charlie starts to get back to his feet. PenWing leaps into the air and pins Charlie with a sunset flip.

Monroe: PenWing just eliminated Charlie with the Falcon Flip!

Marcum: Of all the cheap, dirty ways to get a pin!

PenWing gets to his feet just in time to fall back to the mat from a Surprise in the Sky Monglian chop. Johnny begins to attack PenWing with a series of high paced moves.

Monroe: It doesn't look like Johnny has much left!

Marcum: Then why can't PenWing take advantage?!

Johnny Evil executes a vertical suplex on PenWing, and then follows it up with a quick facebuster. As the crowd boos, Charlie goes for Captain EO (Like the People's Elbow, only it ends with a kneedrop). As he goes for the knee drop, PenWing manages to roll just out of the way. Johnny clutches his knee for a moment, and that's all PenWing needs to flip back to his feet. PenWing moves towards his corner, but Johnny trips him with a drop toe hold. Johnny tries to lock in the CTX, but PenWing kicks Johnny into the ropes. He then tags in Sammitch.

Sammitch works over Johnny with a series of chops and kicks, but Johnny starts to answer back with chops and kicks of his own. The two martial artists continue to go at each other, but Sammitch gets Johnny in close, and he locks in the Sammitch Suplex. Sammith hits three more Sammitch Suplexes and makes the tag to PenWing. Sammitch then slams his fist into his hand before going back to pick up Johnny Evil.

Monroe: Sammitch just called for the Sudden Death Connection!

Marcum: It's not supposed to end this way!

Sammitch and PenWing execute the Sudden Death Connection, and PenWing covers Johnny evil for the final pin of the match. Lothar raises the former tag team champions' hands as "We Will Rock You" blasts over the Cheesedome speakers.

Dark Lords versus The Allied Powers with Nowhereman and Joe Mama

Pantera’s “Cemetary Gates” cued the start of this match. The arena was dimly lit, adding to the atmosphere of the Dark Lords’ arrival. One by one, the Dark Lords came to the ring – SPAMM…Pig Iron…Darth…and, finally, Grimm (accompanied by Harleykwin). The crowd was awed and silent as they entered the ring. Finally the music faded and the lights came up to show Grimm standing with a microphone in his hand…

Grimm: Bring out the condemned!!!

Mick Mars’ guitar licks answered the call and, as “Kickstart My Heart” rocked the arena, Nowhereman arrived to the cheers of the crowd. As he came to ringside, SPAMM and Pig Iron dared him to enter the ring alone, but Nowhereman’s cocky grin never faded as he flashed a reverse peace sign to them, causing the crowd to cheer harder.

“Rob’s Damn Killer Instinct Music” faded in and the Allied Powers were the next team members to arrive. The crowd never let up as Captain Howdy and a pleasantly confused, and formally dressed, MisterJLA came down the ramp and stopped at Nowhereman’s side. MisterJLA removed the topcoat he was wearing to reveal a T-Shirt with the caption “I nailed Chesty…twice”. Darth’s eyes widened with rage and MisterJLA added to the insult by turning around to reveal another caption: “She thanked me”. Darth maintained his composure and motioned for MisterJLA to enter the ring; he responded by giving Darth the same salute that Nowhereman had just given.

Finally “Faded” started up and Joe Mama came to the ramp amid the cheers and chants from the arena. Joe Mama’s approach was slow as he hyped up the crowd. He finally stood by his team and let the cheers wash over the competitors. Grimm yelled something to him at which point he pointed to Grimm, then to the Heavyweight Cheese Title, and then made the gesture of “missed it by that much”. Then he pointed to the Dark Lords, gritted his teeth, and dragged his thumb across his throat. This seemed to be the cue because the team, as one unit, slid into the ring and a brawl between the two groups broke out.

Monroe: Looks like there’s more than a little unity on the part of Joe Mama’s team, Marcum!

Marcum: Doesn’t mean a thing, Monroe! This match hasn’t even started!!!

Joe Mama and Grimm traded blows and somehow ended up on the ring floor. Nowhereman got the upper hand on Darth and sent him over the ropes before going to his corner. Somehow the ref was able to break up Captain Howdy and Pig Iron, leaving MisterJLA and SPAMM to start the match. What should have been a mismatch due to JLA’s obvious size and strength advantage was neutralized by his lack of actual skill. SPAMM was able to use moves and his speed to keep things even in the early goings. MisterJLA suddenly pointed to the Dark Lords’ corner and yelled something to the ref about a double team. The ref turned to reprimand the Dark Lords (who weren’t doing anything), giving MisterJLA the chance to deliver Final Justice on SPAMM. The ref turned around to see MisterJLA going for the pin. A three count later saw SPAMM eliminated.

Monroe: I’m liking what I’m seeing in this team! They may not like each other, but they’re getting the job done!

Marcum: If you like that, you’ll love what Pig Iron’s about to do…

While the ref was dropping to the mat and making the count, Pig Iron hopped up on his team’s top turnbuckle. After getting the pin, MisterJLA stood up and celebrated his triumph…and turned around just in time to get caught by the Pig On The Wing. Another three later, and the odds were once again even. As both captains joined their teams, Captain Howdy rushed into the ring and locked up with Pig Iron. That was the extent of the technical portion of this match-up. Both man were soon trading punches in the center of the ring. Captain Howdy forced Pig Iron to the ropes, Irish whipped him into the opposite ropes, and then caught him with a big boot to the face. Pig Iron hit the canvas and Captain Howdy delivered a jolly good stomping to the Dark Lord before pulling him to his feet and hitting a vicious DDT. Captain Howdy then got the next pin and elimination.

Captain Howdy stood up and got a big boot of his own as Darth rushed in and delivered The Maul. Then he bent forward, grabbed Captain Howdy by the throat, and pulled him up to deliver the Sabre-Slam…twice. On the third attempt Captain Howdy was able to break Darth’s grip on his throat and deliver a poke to the eyes, temporarily blinding Grimm’s right-hand man. Captain Howdy rushed back to the ropes to build momentum and then ran forward to hit a clothesline, sending the Dark Lord to the mat. Captain Howdy started stomping Darth, but the Dark Lord sat up and got to his feet, ignoring the assault. Captain Howdy delivered a kick to the guts, which Darth caught, and then spun Captain Howdy around. From here Darth locked in and executed a Sithspawn, eliminating Captain Howdy.

Nowhereman made a move to enter the ring, but Joe Mama stopped him and whispered something in his ear. Nowhereman protested a bit, but Joe Mama whispered something else that seemed to satisfy the big Englishman. Joe Mama entered the ring and pointed to Grimm, motioning for him to enter the ring. The crowd cheered and Grimm looked like he was about to enter the ring but Darth stopped him, turned to Joe Mama, and slowly waved a finger at him. Joe Mama demanded that Grimm enter the ring, but Darth didn’t move.

Darth: You aren’t worthy to face Darkness Himself!!!

With that, Darth moved in to face Joe Mama. As he moved in, Joe Mama faked a lock-up and then kicked Darth in the gut, causing him to pause. Joe Mama Irish whipped Darth into the ropes and executed his Enforcer, driving Darth to the mat. From there, Joe Mama delivered closed-fist headshots to the Dark Lord. Once again Darth started to his feet, which gave Joe Mama the opening to work a Fireman’s carry and hit the East Coast Hammer. As Darth lay in the ring Joe Mama turned and mocked Grimm, pointing to Grimm and then to his crotch. Grimm started to enter the ring, but stopped and stayed behind the ropes. Joe Mama turned to see that Darth had stood up again. Darth Irish whipped him into the ropes and rushed forward to clothesline him, sending both men to the ring floor. Both men stood up and started trading blows as the ref began his count.

Monroe: What are those two doing? Get back in the ring before you both get eliminated!

Marcum: I don’t think they realize that there’s a count! Either that, or they just don’t care!

As Grimm and Nowhereman stood in the ring, the ref counted to ten, eliminating both Darth and Joe Mama. Both men continued brawling as they worked their way backstage. Grimm and Nowhereman looked at each other for a moment and then Grimm flashed his old Hellions hand gesture. Nowhereman returned it, and then the two started brawling in the ring. Neither man seemed to get the upper hand at first. Nowhereman was able to stun Grimm long enough to hit The Kik Tracee, but Grimm was able to quickly recover and hit a Kobe Special. From the outside, Nowhereman pulled Grimm out of the ring, feet first, and they continued to brawl outside the ring. The ref started the ten count, but stopped when he saw Joe Mama rushing down the ramp, chair in hand.

Monroe: Look at that chair! Look at that…distinctive…dent in the middle of it!!!

Marcum: I guess we won’t be seeing Darth interfering…

The ref got out of the ring and intercepted Joe Mama, demanding that he go back to the locker room. Joe Mama tried to bypass him, but the ref kept stepping in front of him. Meanwhile, Grimm and Nowhereman got back in the ring where they continued their fight. Nowhereman got the upper hand and quickly delivered a Hardline, followed by The Slammin’ Gladys. With Grimm stunned, Nowhereman went over to a corner and set up The Twisted Sister.

Monroe: This match is about to come to a decisive end!

Marcum: Not yet, Monroe! Look who’s about to get involved…!

Doc Mid-Nite came out of the crowd, rushed up behind Nowhereman, and shoved him off the top turnbuckle. As Nowhereman crashed to the mat, Doc Mid-Nite entered the ring and executed a Blackout Bomb on Nowhereman. Then he rushed to a corner, hopped up, and delivered his second Long Kiss Goodnight. Then he flipped Grimm onto Nowhereman and slid out of the ring. The ref, having moved Joe Mama to the top of the ramp, rushed back into the ring and delivered a clean three count, eliminating Nowhereman and giving the Dark Lords the final victory of the night.

Post-Match…

As “Cemetary Gates” played, the ref tried to shake Grimm back to consciousness. Joe Mama rushed to the ring and stood over both fallen competitors, seemingly shocked at the loss. The look of surprise turned to anger and he motioned for a microphone. The timekeeper handed one to him, and he started calling for Doc Mid-Nite.

Marcum: Dunno why he’s taking this out on the good Doctor! It’s his own fault that his team lost!

JM: Mid-Nite!!! Get your ass in this ring, you goddamned coward!!!

From the crowd, Doc Mid-Nite returned. He entered the ring and the two men stood nose-to-nose. Joe Mama then smiled, nodded, and took a step back. He extended his hand, which Doc Mid-Nite took, and the pair shook. Joe Mama turned and motioned to the back; out came the Allied Powers. The four men celebrated together in the center of the ring for a few moments until Joe Mama motioned to Doc Mid-Nite and then to the Allied Powers. MisterJLA and Captain Howdy grabbed the barely conscious Nowhereman by the arms and pulled him up to his feet. Doc Mid-Nite came back with a chair that he handed to Joe Mama. The Champion set it up in front of Nowhereman’s face and Doc Mid-Nite easily hit The Nite Cap, slamming the chair into the defenseless man’s face. The Allied Powers allowed him to drop to the mat, and then rolled him onto his stomach. Then they lifted Grimm up and turned him so his back was to Joe Mama, who draped him across his back in a Torture Rack and then slammed Grimm headfirst to the mat, East Coast Hammer style – a perfectly executed Bay State Sledge. They rolled Grimm across Nowhereman and each man put a foot on top of the pile.

Monroe: What the hell are they doing???

Marcum: They’re answering the question of the night! They’re snatching victory from the jaws of defeat! And they’re sending a clear message to the RDCW…!!!

MisterJLA, Captain Howdy, Doc Mid-Nite, and Joe Mama each raised a hand and flashed four fingers to the cheers and boos of the crowd. And then, as Conniver Series ended, one image flashed on the Cheese-O-Tron: