Okay, so it's not a sinus infection--Thank God. However, the immense pain from the blood coming out of my ear still wasn't any picnic.
Apparently my throat's all irritated by.....Strep? I dunno. Anyway, that's tweaking the sinus connection between my throat and ear. After unconsciously manipulating my throat so much (and causing agony in the process) the irritated segments were pushing fluid up into my ear until something inside of it popped.
I now have to use viscus flocaine to gargle in my throat so the sore inside of it will stop bothering my ear. Until then, I still can't eat (going on three days now).