There's a man with a bald head
and a wooden leg who gets invited
to a Halloween party.
He doesn't know what costume to wear
to hide his head and his leg so he writes
to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel
with the following note:
Dear Sir:
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head
and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because
they have just emphasized his wooden
leg and so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives
another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir:
Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and,
with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really annoyed
since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg
to emphasizing his bald head so he writes the company
another nasty letter of complaint.
The next day he received a small parcel
and a note which read:
Dear Sir:
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses.
Pour the molasses over your bald head,
stick your wooden leg up your ass
and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.