Back in 2003, my gal and I planned on getting married. We were lucky to get a good deal on the church (only about $750), and had friends who worked in jobs related to flowers and invitations and whatnot, so we got great deals there. But the reception was going to cost us about $20K. We were in a nasty position thanks to my job and a potential work stoppage - either the union would strike and I'd be making cash hand over fist and be able to afford the reception (but wouldn't be around for the planning and stress), or they wouldn't and I'd be there for all the planning and whatnot, but wouldn't be able to afford the reception. My gal and I said, "Fuck it" and postponed the wedding. We realized not long after the postponement that neither of us really wanted a big wedding or reception and breathed a sigh of relief that we didn't spend the money that we didn't really have.
Later this year, we're getting married. Only this time we're just getting a marriage license and having a JP do the "ceremony." We'll end up saving between $25K and $35K. Frankly, Rob, unless your future husband is paying part of the costs, and REALLY needs a big wedding, you may want to consider going smaller or following my lead. Is it really worth it to sink big bucks into something that's more about the guests than about you two? Have a quick, small ceremony and then have your closest friends/family out for a nice meal.
That is pretty much the same plan that the girl and I have. Of course, she has reserved the right to a traditional ceremony down the road (you know, the proper church wedding/renewal of vows thing) when times aren't as lean.
As for the post JP visit; the plan is to do a nice meal with the family, cause a drunken ruckus with the friends, and then spend a nice honeymoon in the drunk tank.
