Gerafolo: Don't you people know that racial profiling is wrong?
Bauer: Your strategically placed political outbursts aren't helpful, but I'm willing to go out of character to explain why racial profiling is necessary even if I think it's bad. All in the name of....REDEMPTION. Oh shit! I'm shaking and slurring my words and forgetting stuff and other obvious retarded crap.
Chloe: Jack's going out of his way to show off that something's wrong. Is there something wrong with him?
Renee: Chloe...
Chloe: Is there something wrong with Jack? What's wrong with Jack!?
Renee: Okay, you've twisted my arm. Jack was infected with the deadly virus when he was trying to contain it blah blah blah blah blah blah blah dramatic pause for effect.
Muslim guy #1: I can't do this terrorist stuff! I'm not a terrorist! Terrorism is terrible! I'd never commit acts of terrorism against this country! Terrorists suck! I'll say I'm a terrorist as long as you don't hurt my brother!
Muslim guy #2: I will humbly and self-righteously point out that you are renowned for torturing suspected terrorists. I'm like the ultimate anti-terrorist terrorist commentator since I'm a peaceful Muslim guy who renounces extremists and terrorism in general. I will forcefully point out that the Muslim you're going after could not be a terrorist, that he loves America, and that you're just racially profiling. Oh no! You're arresting me! But I guess that's okay because eventually you'll have to admit you're wrong and that will make me seem even more credible than before.
Muslim guy #3: You've poisoned my brother's mind with terrorism! He wasn't a terrorist before you showed up! You fucking terrorist! Terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist terrorist....Terrorist terrorist!
Bauer: Oh my God! The Muslim's innocent! How could I have been so stupid? Here let me un-cuff your hands for dramatic effect.
Muslim Guy #2: It's never too late to turn to God Jack. Lest we forget....REDEMPTION!!
Bauer: I will remain silent even though I'm talking right now.
Bauer: Let me take point! I'm shaking and I'll probably compromise the operation, but I need.......REDEMPTION!!!!!
Renee: Okay Jack. Let me just pause dramatically for a moment......Alright, lets go.
Muslim Guy #2: Is there soomething wrong with Jack? I mean, I have no frame of reference and I know barely anything about this operation but I'm sure I can offer advice about you two characters I've just met.
Renee: Allow me to explain that Jack was infected with a virus that's been government-ordered to be kept secret lest it panic the public. Let me add some details about his slow deterioration before I pause dramatically.
Muslim Guy #2: Oh.
Preview voice for next episode: Don't miss the next episode of 24 were Jack obtains....REDEMPTION! For doing all the things he was willing to defend doing at the beginning of the season.
Yep. That's about the size of it.
This is probably the last season I'm gonna watch.
