English is capitalized when it names the nation England. When it describes the language, it is not capitalized.
Uh, no. Languages are capitalized too. Go check. I'll wait.
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Minutia, and pure silliness on your part.
Irrelevant? Oh yes, it would be, if you hadn't tried to gloat about your English skills. You have a knack for setting yourself up for ridicule. It's why I love you so much.