... and not in the way that Halo 'has' children, either.
When naming your children, don't be dicks and try and get creative with it. A simple, ordinary name is good enough. Yeah, you want your kid to be an individual; but that doesn't mean that your retarded ass has to come up with some bullshit to try and make sure that your kid has a name that's different from everyone else. Here are a few guidelines to follow.
- Don't make shit up. Seriously, if it doesn't already exist, don't create it. You may think you're being clever and intellectual, but you're not. In reality, you're most likely making up a word that looks or sounds like another word that's going to cause your child to be the butt of a shitload of jokes. For example, you name your kid Latissue. Way to go. Your kid now sounds like a French snot rag. Congratulations. You're a dick.
- If you don't speak a certain language, you shouldn't choose a name from that language for your kid. If you don't speak Cherokee or Apache, then your kid doesn't need to have and Indian name. It's shows just how much of dipshit you are. If you're black, yes, you're of African ancestry. That doesn't mean that you need to start pillaging the continent's languages for funky-fresh names for your offspring. And, let's be honest, if you don't speak Nigerian or what-the-fuck-ever language, you have no idea if what you're naming your kid even means what you think it means. Yeah, you may think that you've given your pretty daughter a beautiful name that means 'Warm Sunshine' or some shit; but in thirty years when she takes that trip to Africa and finds out that her name really means 'Shithouse Whore', how much do you think she'll want that special name then?
- Don't add punctuation to names. Maybe you want to change the sound of it or whatever. Just don't fucking do it. Naming your kid Jor'Dan makes him seem more like a comic book alien. Jordan. Is that so goddamn hard? Punctuation is for sentences.
- Don't fuck with the spelling. It's not cute. It's pretty gay, actually. It'll also lead to a life of erasure marks and scribbles on official documents from schools, hospitals, police reports, etc. Just spell it like everyone else.
- Don't get carried away. If the number of letters in your kid's first name starts to hit the double digits, FUCKING STOP! Seriously! What the fuck is wrong with you? How the hell is your kid ever going to get a license or take the SAT with a name that fills in all the goddamn boxes on the form before even getting halfway done?
If you don't see the point in the previously listed rules or why they should be followed, you are probably better off not having kids to begin with. Trust me. Their unborn souls will thank you for not having to deal with that bullshit moniker you would have stuck them with.
