RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Heureka!!! (or however the hell you spell it)

I have come to the conclusion that this is a very confusing forum!

Anyone who agrees, cross this line!

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Eureka!!!

Yreka!

Hiketara!

heimlick manuever!

seig heil!

Bless you!

GREEN!!

KHAAAAAAAAN!!!

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
Close the door.


A farmer and his wife are in bed. He reaches forward and feels her breasts.
He says "you know if these were bigger we wouldn't need the cow"
She reaches back to feel his penis and says "If this was bigger we wouldn't need your brother"

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!


Feminism: A socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.


I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months--I don't like to interrupt her.

The Ballad Of Reading Gaol
by Oscar Wilde

II

Six weeks our guardsman walked the yard,
In a suit of shabby grey:
His cricket cap was on his head,
And his step seemed light and gay,
But I never saw a man who looked
So wistfully at the day.

I never saw a man who looked
With such a wistful eye
Upon that little tent of blue
Which prisoners call the sky,
And at every wandering cloud that trailed
Its ravelled fleeces by.

He did not wring his hands, as do
Those witless men who dare
To try to rear the changeling Hope
In the cave of black Despair:
He only looked upon the sun,
And drank the morning air.

He did not wring his hands nor weep,
Nor did he peek or pine,
But he drank the air as though it held
Some healthful anodyne;
With open mouth he drank the sun
As though it had been wine!

And I and all the souls in pain,
Who tramped the other ring,
Forgot if we ourselves had done
A great or little thing,
And watched with gaze of dull amaze
The man who had to swing.

And strange it was to see him pass
With a step so light and gay,
And strange it was to see him look
So wistfully at the day,
And strange it was to think that he
Had such a debt to pay.

For oak and elm have pleasant leaves
That in the spring-time shoot:
But grim to see is the gallows-tree,
With its adder-bitten root,
And, green or dry, a man must die
Before it bears its fruit!

The loftiest place is that seat of grace
For which all worldlings try:
But who would stand in hempen band
Upon a scaffold high,
And through a murderer's collar take
His last look at the sky?

It is sweet to dance to violins
When Love and Life are fair:
To dance to flutes, to dance to lutes
Is delicate and rare:
But it is not sweet with nimble feet
To dance upon the air!

So with curious eyes and sick surmise
We watched him day by day,
And wondered if each one of us
Would end the self-same way,
For none can tell to what red Hell
His sightless soul may stray.

At last the dead man walked no more
Amongst the Trial Men,
And I knew that he was standing up
In the black dock's dreadful pen,
And that never would I see his face
In God's sweet world again.

Like two doomed ships that pass in storm
We had crossed each other's way:
But we made no sign, we said no word,
We had no word to say;
For we did not meet in the holy night,
But in the shameful day.

A prison wall was round us both,
Two outcast men were we:
The world had thrust us from its heart,
And God from out His care:
And the iron gin that waits for Sin
Had caught us in its snare.

All Dead All Dead
Queen


She came without a farthing
A babe without a name
So much ado 'bout nothing
Is what she'd try to say
So much ado my lover
So many games we played
Through ev'ry fleeted summer
Through ev'ry precious day

All dead all dead
All the dreams we had
And I wonder why I still live on
All dead all dead
And alone I'm spared
My sweeter half instead
All dead and gone all dead

All dead all dead
At the rainbow's end
And still I hear her own sweet song
All dead all dead
Take me back again
You know my little friend's
All dead and gone

Her ways are always with me
I wander all the while
But please you must forgive me
I am old but still a child

All dead all dead
But I should not grieve
In time it comes to ev'ryone
All dead all dead
But in hope I breathe
Of course I don't believe
You're dead and gone
All dead and gone

*Electricity production is the leading cause of industrial air pollution in the United States, and is responsible for 40 percent of the nation's carbon emissions that contribute to global climate change

*Recycling aluminum saves 95% of the energy used to make the material from scratch. That means you can make 20 cans out of recycled material with the same amount of energy it takes to make one can out of new material. Energy savings in 1993 alone were enough to light a city the size of Pittsburgh for six years.


*Americans throw away enough aluminum every month to rebuild our entire commercial air fleet.

baseball 9

The owners did not like this. They did not like the union interfering in their business, and they did not like the players standing up to them. Curt Flood, one of the league’s premier centerfielders refused to report to training camp in 1969, demanding that the St. Louis Cardinals offer more than a $5000 raise. They relented, but after an unexceptional season, they traded him to Philadelphia. Flood did not want to go. He had strong ties to the community, and filed a suit against Commissioner Bowie Kuhn. Flood argued that the Reserve Clause was illegal, and that he should be allowed to negotiate freely with other teams. The Supreme Court ultimately ruled against him, but it made a lot of players think.

Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ.
Heinrich Heine