there are no hate crimes, only thought crimes.
and there's a tremendous difference between a right and a privilege. take driving for example. if everyone has the right to drive, then why can't everyone just hop into the first car they see and take off? if you want to drive, you have to meet certain conditions in order to be granted that privilege. you have to be of legal driving age, you have to apply (and be approved for) a valid driver's license, you have to have insurance, and you have to own or have permission to use a particular vehicle.
similarly, marriage (for anyone) is a privilege - two consenting individuals of opposite sexes, both of the appropriate age of consent, must apply (and be approved for) a marriage license and unless they choose a civil wedding ceremony with a justice of the peace, they usually have to rent the facilities needed and very frequently are required to complete a certain amount of premarital counseling at or through the faith establishment conducting the ceremony. there's nothing keeping gay people from getting married - they have equal access to follow the procedure to obtain the privilege to marry anyone of the opposite sex they want.
because that's what marriage is defined as in nearly the entire country. wanting anything other than that is wanting something other than marriage - call it whatever you like but quibbling over semantics doesn't really impact reality all that much. also, even if legal codes are sufficiently fucked with to allow same-sex marriages, faith establishments retain the right under the free exercise clause of the first amendment to refuse to perform the ceremony. in which case most gay couples would probably need to settle for a civil marriage ceremony. in which case they might as well call it a civil union (which I don't see that big of a problem with) and stop dicking around (heh) with the underpinnings of civilization that have worked quite well for several millennia.
