Q: What time is it if five demons are chasing you?
A: Five after one and time to run!

Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
A: When you're a mouse.

Q. The maker doesn't want it. The buyer doesn't use it. The user doesn't see it. What is it? A. A coffin!

Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Phillip! Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with candy!