A man is walking down the street and is really horny. He goes to the first brothel he sees but only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The man goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again. So by this time, he's really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says, "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!" The madam there says, "For five dollars, all we can give you a penguin." "What's a penguin?" "You'll see." So, the madam takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. He unzips his pants, and waits for his "penguin." Soon, a prostitute comes in and starts giving the man a blow job. Just as he's about to let loose, she stops and walks away. The horny man waddles after her, with his pants at his ankles, shouting, "HEY! WHAT'S A PENGUIN?!"
A research worker, conducting a sex survey, phoned one of the husbands whose completed form was spread out before him. "Mr Pullman, there seems to be some discrepancies between the answers of you and your wife to the same question. For example, under 'Frequency of Intercourse' you wrote 'Three times a week' and your wife 'Three times a night'." "Well, that's right," replied the husband, "but that's only until we have paid off the mortgage on the house."
