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the show debuted last night... anyone check it out? whut'djya think?
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here's a review from cinescape.comBy: SCOTT COLLURA
By: Contributing Editor
I’ll admit it: I love SURVIVOR. I’m not proud of it, no. But they do say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So, yes, I have spent many a wasted hour entranced by the adventures of Rudy, Richard, Colleen, and every other nobody who suddenly became somebody at the drop of a CBS casting agent’s hat.
Fortunately, however, I have managed to avoid most other so-called “reality” TV shows. So it was with great trepidation that I approached the task of watching and reviewing Fox’s latest entry in the never-ending pantheon of reality TV -- MURDER IN SMALL TOWN X. I must admit that the promos for the program have been mildly intriguing, with Fox promising a “real” murder that would have to be solved by “real” people. This show was to have a distinctly horrific spin to it, and I was afraid that my fanboy devotion to the horror genre might combine with my pedestrian addiction to SURVIVOR, causing me yet another three months of compulsive reality-TV viewing.
I shouldn’t have worried so. It turns out that MURDER IN SMALL TOWN X is the worst kind of TV show out there – reality or otherwise. This is the type of program that bites off bits from other movies and shows and tries to call them its own. Aside from the obvious inspirations – SURVIVOR, THE REAL WORLD, et al – there are other video victims here. Elements of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT are swiped even before the title sequence runs, while MTV’s less popular FEAR is also pirated.
The show begins in the town of Sunrise, Maine with several murders taking place before our eyes; we are apparently seeing what the unknown killer himself sees. Immediately, however, any sense of “reality” is dispelled from the program since it’s obvious that an actual videotaped murder is not going to find its way to broadcast television. (Let us not forget that it was only the stupid people of the world who believed BLAIR WITCH was real.)
The premise grows even more ridiculous as ten so-called investigators are brought in to solve the crime. They are, of course, the competitors of the show, trying to make it through the various tests and obstacles that will be placed before them over the next ten weeks in order to win the $250,000 reward that has been posted. This gang – Stacey, Alan, Angel, Shirley, and the rest - are nothing but latter-day LET’S MAKE A DEAL contestants, though rather than having to crack wise with Monty Hall, they instead need to interact with a town full of usually-out-of-work actors who are portraying the various local yokels and suspects in the crime. It’s dinner theater with a twist!
An actual police detective (Gary Fredo) plays host and guide to these investigators, advising and steering them to clues and leads. But while the Scooby Gang is out sniffing around town, each contestant is aware that the ultimate SURVIVOR gimmick awaits them at each episode’s end: the group must vote for one of their own, who will then head out into the dark night alone, with mini-camera mounted to torso, in order to face possible “murder” themselves. Agatha Christie, meet Jeff Probst.
The fact that MURDER’s creators (George Verschoor, Robert Fisher Jr., Gordon Cassidy) have all served tenures for MTV’s THE REAL WORLD does not mean that this program will offer the same titillating nonsense that has kept that show alive for a decade. For example, it’s doubtful we’ll be seeing MURDER’s resident babe, 21-year-old model Lindsey, strip down for a co-ed shower in between fingerprinting missions. I mean, what do you think made TEMPTATION ISLAND such a hit for Fox earlier this year? Not the local police activity, of that you can be sure.
Yeah, there are some cheap scares in this first episode, particularly the BLAIR WITCH rip-off at the beginning and the climax where one of our investigators meets her end. And the weak-minded may start to enjoy the guessing game of whodunit as the weeks drag on and the characters become more familiar. But truthfully, this game/show would probably be a lot more fun to actually play rather than watch. Besides, in that case you might even get the chance to take an MTV-style shower with Lindsey – in between sleuthing sessions of course.
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Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
the show debuted last night... anyone check it out?<P>whut'djya think?
I avoided it like the plague.It looked like it would suck,and sure enough my suspicions were right.
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It's funny because nobody replied to Rob until now.
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
the show debuted last night... anyone check it out?<P>whut'djya think?
I avoided it like the plague.It looked like it would suck,and sure enough my suspicions were right.
thats about the most insensitive thing you have ever said. The guy who won the show died saving lives on 9/11.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Heh, I was thinking the same thing.
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Quote:
rex said:
Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
the show debuted last night... anyone check it out?<P>whut'djya think?
I avoided it like the plague.It looked like it would suck,and sure enough my suspicions were right.
thats about the most insensitive thing you have ever said. The guy who won the show died saving lives on 9/11.
You're kidding.
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I watched the first two or three episodes, then dropped it because...well, because it sucked. But I heard that the firefighter won. And that he died during 9/11.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
rex said:
Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
the show debuted last night... anyone check it out?<P>whut'djya think?
I avoided it like the plague.It looked like it would suck,and sure enough my suspicions were right.
thats about the most insensitive thing you have ever said. The guy who won the show died saving lives on 9/11.
You're kidding.
He really did.
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Now you're calling me a liar? Here's a link.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Chris, why do you hate America and the heroes of 9/11?
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Quote:
Disco Steve said:
Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
rex said:
Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
the show debuted last night... anyone check it out?<P>whut'djya think?
I avoided it like the plague.It looked like it would suck,and sure enough my suspicions were right.
thats about the most insensitive thing you have ever said. The guy who won the show died saving lives on 9/11.
You're kidding.
He really did.
Just checked out the link Rex posted...
I don't know what to say.
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... 10000+ posts
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Everyone get the date and time of that post? Oh, wait... Oakley seldom knows what to say... Nevermind! 
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Seriously I know we give Chris a hard time but why would you bring up a three year thread just to say how much you hated something?
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Obviously Oakley has so much hatred in his soul that he's no longer following logic of any kind.
And that's terrible.
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Geez,Kristogar,you're getting as bad as Rex,projecting your own problems onto other people.
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What are you smoking now, Mr. Oakley? What problems do I have? I'm not the one going around dissing the heroes of September 11th!
And that's terrible.
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He has a problem with heros.....  jealousy mayhaps?
too blessed to be stressed
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The shame is on his side.
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the only thing oakley doesnt hate is his flesh light
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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Quote:
THE Franta said:
He has a problem with heros.....
No,I have a problem with rexstardust and his partners in crime projecting their own bigotry and paranoia on me.Ten to one rex has a KKK suit stashed in his closet.
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So when you were accusing everybody on the boards of doing drugs, you were just projecting your own problems of substance abuse on us, right, Oakers?
And that's terrible.
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God, grant Oakers the
SERENITY
to accept the things
he cannot change ~
COURAGE
to change the
things he can;
and
WISDOM
to know the difference
too blessed to be stressed
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bah, oakley couldn't of kept his racist ga loving self away. bad enough i have to be stalked by him
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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Whatever bizarre myths rexstardust may have led you to believe,I am NOT a racist.Let's get that straight right now.Just because I refused to follow the herd in its inexplicable adulation of the incompetent Shawn and Marlon Wayans doesn't make me a bigot.Mmmmkay?
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Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
the only thing oakley doesnt hate is his flesh light
You owe me an apology for that one.
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Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
the only thing oakley doesnt hate is his flesh light
You owe me an apology for that one.
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
the only thing oakley doesnt hate is his flesh light
You owe me an apology for that one.
how many times are you going to type that?
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Quote:
rex said:
Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
the only thing oakley doesnt hate is his flesh light
You owe me an apology for that one.
how many times are you going to type that?
What? That he loves his flesh light? Several more times, methinks.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
the only thing oakley doesnt hate is his flesh light
You owe me an apology for that one.
awww...see this? its the worlds smallest violin playing just for you.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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See this?It's my middle finger raised to you.
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isn't there a white sale you should be at?
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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Rex told you to use that line,didn't he?
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
the incompetent... Marlon Wayans
Requiem for a Dream.
I rest my case.
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
Rex told you to use that line,didn't he?
well c'mon, go buy some sheets. or at least bleach the stains from your little princess oens.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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Quote:
Chris Oakley said:
See this?It's my middle finger raised to you.
No I can't see it fucktard.
I can't see people through the internet.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Quote:
rex said:
No I can't see it fucktard.
I can't see people through the internet.
You CAN'T??? 
Are you on a dial-up? I can see YOU...and I wish you'd put some pants on. 
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
well c'mon, go buy some sheets. or at least bleach the stains from your little princess ovens.
Don't you have a parole hearing to go to?
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god oakley your memory must be going. i ain't your daddy. he's the one who needs the C-THC bar test
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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