Here's a poem I wrote about William Shatner a few years ago... it's not nearly as good as some of these others... it rhymes...
KIRK UNPLUGGED
Oh, Captain! My Captain!
Captain of Enterprise,
Who hast fought many a Klingon
And kissed the wives of green guys.
Captain who hast handled
The ghastly Gorn’s great might.
Captain who hast lied about
The explosive corbomite.
Captain who hast had to see
The fair Edith Keeler die,
While in the nineteen thirties,
Trying to save all time.
Captain who hast faced head-on
The massive Tribble threat.
Captain, who, with his crew,
Hast ‘scaped the Tholian Net.
Captain who hast bested Spock
In a game of 3-D chess.
Captain who did hate to wear
The dreaded uniform dress.
Once he had to face
The wrath of nasty Khan,
But he won the day
And set off a real big bomb.
Captain who hast lost his friend
And launched him out the ship,
Only to find him alive again,
Due to the Genesis slip.
Captain who crashed and burned
His beloved Enterprise
Once again to thwart
Those nasty Klingon guys.
Captain who was finally
Made an admiral,
But got turned back to Captain,
For acts that weren’t admirable.
He saved the Earth with whales
That he got in ’86,
With help from Spock and Bones
And that 7th Heaven chick.
Captain who directed
The worst movie to date.
Why God would want a starship,
It’s the movie we all hate.
Captain who redeemed himself
Back in Star Trek VI
To the Undiscovered Country,
Though none of them know why.
The Klingon speaks like Shakespeare,
Iman changes her shape,
Kirk is decommissioned.
Time to hang up the cape.
Captain who into a Ribbon
That sent him back in time.
He helped Picard stop bad guys
And died for second time.
Captain who now writes books –
All of them are bad.
Captain who just can’t forget,
You know, it’s kinda sad.
Captain who I’ve watched
From rise ‘till set of sun.
Farewell, my stalwart captain,
I’ll catch you in reruns.
