The last post from Bevis either highlighted some points that had become clear, which I'm glad for, or that hadn't, which I think I've already flogged enough here.

Except for my use of "rueful." My own reference (Merriam-Webster Collegiate) gives the first meaning as "exciting pity or sympathy," before "mournful or regretful."

My sense for that word is that of sympathy, for how strange or weird the world we live in can become. We all have to approach personal foibles, or lapses in communication, with something of a wry attitude, about the knots we can create for ourselves ... or how easy it is to overlook them.

It's meant as an expression of fellow-feeling. I wouldn't say that we need "a sense of humor" as such to muddle through in this world, as much as an appreciation for our capacity to act in strange and inconsistent ways. A universal fault or condition, from which nobody is exempt, including me.

Thus a touch of sympathy for "what fools these mortals be," to quote the Bard, and thus "rueful." I had long meant to put that on record, so a thank-you goes to Bevis for provoking me to do so.