I'll come right out and say up front that I'm more of a bar guy. A nice place where you can sit down with your buds, knock back a few beers, and bullshit without having to scream over the music. The club scene really isn't my style, and I realized why last night.
While drinking my overpriced beer and having my senses numbed by horrible music, I began to notice the scene around me. People where doing what they called dancing. If sticking your thumb in the air while gyrating your hips is dancing, then I'm Fred A-fucking-staire. I noticed several people doing these repeatitive moves with no variation. I guess after looping music, looping "dance moves" was the next step. But then, the tempo and beat changed as another song came on (it had to be another song because current dance music just repeats over and over again for 5 minutes), and the people kept doing the same moves exactly as they had done before. They didn't change to fit the new beat and tempo. They just kept up the same robotic pace.
That's not dancing. Soulless bastards.
I can't forget to mention all the preppy white guys who think that they are G-dawgs down on the Westside with his homies. Newsflash: Not only do I think you look silly, but the black guy standing next to me is laughing at your sorry ass too.
Suddenly, a travisty of immense proportions transpired. Dance versions of Sweet Home Alabama and Back in Black were played. (There was another old 70's song that was also turned into a dance piece, but I hate the original song anyway and don't really care about it.) That's right. Skynard and AC/DC sampled, looped, rammed with a drum machine techno beat, and bastardized. That's when I realized what had happened, what had went wrong. Somewhere along the way, they forgot how to rock. All these people knew Skynard and AC/DC, but they couldn't remember the total rockitude of the songs as they were originally done. Instead, they had to tear it down to their electronic jizz level. In essence, they had not only forgotten how to rock, but were trying to kill rock itself.
If you look at the popculture of today, you'll see that I'm correct in my assumption. Bubble-gum pop, bubble-gum rap, bubble-gum punk, and bubble-gum metal. It's like the rock was surgically removed. It'll only be a matter of time before all the soul is taken out of music and the doctors declare rock offically dead.
Kids, thank your club scene.
