The C-Men Roll Call!!!

  • Uncle Otto (fearless leader)
  • Drag-Racer (token transvestite)
  • Head-Fall-Off Boy, alias Annakin Cobb (picker of nits)
  • Master Beta, alias Danny Bates (official team rookie)
  • Pete the Dead Guy (nonexistent ghostly team mascot who was originally intended to be a running joke which doesn't really work all that well any more now that Chance is dead and Pete is just plain gone. Oh, well, it might've been funny once...)
  • Charles Walker of the E.P.S. (honorary member) [nyah hah] [wink] [biiiig grin]

"I still don't get it," whispered the newest member of the valiant C-Men, Master Beta. "Why didn't we just hitch a ride with Vanguard?"

"Ask Mister 'I-can't-decide-which-skirt-to-wear-to-the-battle' here," Cobb replied.

"At least I like to look nice!" Drag-Racer retorted. "But that's probably something you could never understand, Mister 'Head-of-Steel™'. You're too busy misplacing your body to do anything about your appearance."

"Hey, where is your body, anyway?" Master Beta said, holding Head-Fall-Off Boy's Head of Steel™ in his hands.

"I dunno."

"I still don't see why we had to go with the E.P.S.," Master Beta continued. "Didn't you guys say that the C-Men were a valuable reserve wing of Vanguard?"

"Uhhh..."

"Well..."

"Heh."

"Ummm..."

"Hurm."

"...yeah..."

"About that, Bates," Drag-Racer said, "y'see, uh... Vanguard isn't exactly fully, uh... 'aware' of our talents, so our valiant work is done mostly behind-the-scenes, you dig? I'm sure, though, once they see what we can do, they'll be itching to sign us up on the payroll, just like the B-Team."

"Will you STOP it with the B-Team?!!" Cobb shouted. "GOB, you and Otto are obsessed with those idiots just because they weren't taking new members! Just let it go! Move on, already!"

"Hey, where is Uncle Otto, anyway?" Drag-Racer wondered. "I haven't seen him since that Walker dude started shaking up this flying craft."

Master Beta was frowning by this time and said, "You mean I was put in a probationary membership in this team for SIX MONTHS and I'm not even gonna get PAID now that I'm a full member?!?"

*************

In the cockpit of the E.P.S. aircraft, Charles Walker was doing his best to ignore the bear-like man next to him who wouldn't stop talking...

"--and another thing, Chuck: I don't like the shoes you wear. Hush Puppies -- bah! Yeah, you heard me -- those are the kind of shoes a mean person wears. The kind of person who would persecute a guy just because he looks like a bear. What gives you the right, huh? You call yourself a man of science? You're nothing but an amoralistic, pennyante dictator with too much time on his hands!"

"Mr. Turner," Walker interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"Have the bear killed."

"Sure thing," Turner grinned. "Come with me, 'Teddy' -- you and your friends have got a rough landing ahead of you..."

As Uncle Otto was dragged kicking and screaming out of the cockpit and sent down to the battle with the rest of the metas in the ship, Charles Walker allowed himself a slight grin...