Ozzy Baxter walked into the kitchen and caught Adem Different in the act of standing in front of the refrigerator staring at it. Adem's left hand was on his hip and his right index finger was placed under his chin, as the alien contemplated the fridge in concentration so deep he didn’t even notice Ozzy. Ozzy just looked at Adem for a while, curious about what was going on.
After a few seconds, Adem slowly raised his left arm and approached the refrigerator with it. Then he quickly and suddenly opened his palm and made an almost spasmic movement towards the fridge's door with his hand. After that, he seemed disappointed that nothing had happened.
"Hmmm..." Adem slowly repositioned his left hand on his hip and continued staring at the fridge.
"Hey there," Ozzy said, making Adem suddenly aware that he was in the room. "Watcha doing, hm?" the white haired man asked, tilting his chin in the direction of the fridge.
"Oh... 'Hello'," Adem uncomfortably replied, "I was just looking at this... refrigerator. This is where you store your food, right?"
"Right. Feeling hungry? I think there's a whole bunch of fishsticks or something..."
"Uh, no, not really." Adem said, facing Ozzy. Then he turned his head back to the fridge's direction. "I was just wondering how this worked. I know people take food out of it, but..." Adem started moving his head to get a better look of the sides of the machine "I just can't see how they do it."
"Heh... Well, you gotta open it, buddy. Like a door, you know?"
"Open... a door?"
"You know what a door is, right?"
"Of course I do. We have doors where I come from."
"Then you know how to open a door... right?"
Adem looked confused. "Why would anyone need to open a door? Don't they open themselves?"
"Maybe in Star Trek..." the former boxer said. "Wait, you mean that you've never -" Ozzy suddenly stopped talking. He grinned for half a second and then hid the smile before Adem could notice it.
"Do me a favor, Adem... could you walk to the room next to this one?" Ozzy asked, pointing at the closed door that led outside the kitchen.
"What for...?"
"Adem. Please. Just do it." Ozzy talked in all seriousness.
"All right..." Adem quietly said as he started walking to the door. As Adem approached the door, Ozzy's serious expression started cracking. He could barely contain the laughter. Adem continued walking. Ozzy covered his mouth with his right hand. Adem got closer to the door. Ozzy's right hand wasn't enough; he took the left one to his mouth as well, attempting to contain the laughter that tried to break free. Adem was mere inches from the door... Ozzy couldn't resist anymore... Not even his years as a professional boxer had prepared him for this... and then... *THUD*
Adem bumped his forehead into the door. Ozzy exploded in laughter.
"Hmmm..." Adem slowly took his left hand to his hip and placed his right index finger under his chin, as he silently contemplated the door in front of him.
Three hours later...
"You ready?" Ozzy asked.
"I'm ready." Adem responded.
"You sure?"
"Completely."
"This is it, you know. This is your baptism of fire."
"Ozzy..."
"I don't wanna make you nervous or anything. I just want you to be prepared."
Adem Different and Ozzy Baxter were standing on both sides of the Vanguard International Complex's main entrance door, eagerly waiting for someone to knock on it.
The minutes passed and nobody knocked. The anticipation was driving Adem crazy.
"Can't I just pretend someone knocked and...?" Adem began, as he slowly turned to look at Ozzy.
"NO!" Ozzy yelled, turning his head violently to face Adem. "If we did that then how would this time be different from all the other times when we practiced? No, Adem, this one has to be special. You have to understand the purpose of opening doors, not just for yourself but for other people as well. This is what humanity is all about: opening doors for each other. Letting your brother walk by freely."
"I think I understand. This is what you guys call a... 'metaphor', right?."
"Metaphor? What metaphor? I just don’t think people should walk around bumping into doors like you did back there, you know?"
"Oh..." Adem turned his head to the front to face the door. Seconds later he turned it back to the side to face Ozzy. "Ozzy..."
"Yes?"
"I just want to thank you for helping me with this. I could have just asked Jym to explain me how to open doors, but I wouldn't have learned anything about the human race that way. You didn't just teach me to open doors, Ozzy. You helped me understand a little better how human beings think. For that, you have my eternal gratitude."
"It's all right, man. I just had nothing better to do."
"And I kind of misplaced Jym, so..."
'KNOCK, KNOCK'
Ozzy and Adem jumped back.
"Okay... Okay... Okay... Okay..." Ozzy repeated. Adem just stood there, jaw wide open, unable to move.
'KNOCK, KNOCK'
Ozzy grabbed Adem by the shoulder and pushed him near the door.
"Don't pussy out on me now, man! Not after all we've been through!"
Adem hesitantly walked closer to the door. He slowly placed his right hand on the door handle. He started moving the handle... but he suddenly stopped and looked at Ozzy.
"Ozzy..." he said. "Thank y-"
"OH, SHUT UP AND OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!"
"Okay! Okay!" Adem continued moving the door handle and pushed back... and the door opened.
On the other side, a being of pure bright light that crackled on impossible angles floated above the 'WELCOME' mat.
"I am Mxyp" the being said "and I'm here to see Shirley."
