TTT, I think your writing has been very good; but, as Grimm said, a bit long for one sitting. Your last post was really good. Action moved quickly, and it was easy to read and understand. Your previous post, though, had really thick paragraphs and slowed it down a bit. Plus, I usually tend to hold off on interlude posts to keep them from breaking up the flow of the story in my head if I'm planning on writing. It was well done, but it's just takes a while for me to comment on posts in those situations.
The only criticism I really have is some of the dialogue you gave Grissom:
quote: How would you have liked being left stranded in the middle of 2000 angry Muslims in a temple utterly forbidden to westerners after having been involved with the theft of a priceless holy relic?
This just sounds unnatural. It's very Claremont-esque in it's length. I know I used to have trouble with that sorta thing too after watching too many old G.I. Joe cartoons and Silver Age comics where exposition can only be given through detailed speeches from the characters. It's hard to get out all the ideas you want to sometimes in a clear way. Plus, I think it works better if you leave a little something for the imagination of the readers to conjure up. But, really, that was the only thing that threw me off. The rest of the post was really good.
