Suddenly Chantina, Princess of Chantania, daughter of King Chantawanta and sister of Chantyana (commonly referred to by the JLR as She-Chant to avoid confusion with their arch-enemy Chant), bursts into the Chantanian war-room.

King Chantawanta: Ah, Beacon of my existence, Jewel of my Nile. Your beauty radiates this room with light and my heart with joy…

Generalissimo & HauptMannPriest: [eh?]

King Chantawnata: …but now isn’t the best of times my Petal. We are being attacked by your sister’s evil alternate reality counterpart – He-Chant.

Generalissimo: But Chantyana is evil as well you Deliverance!

HauptMannPriest: And I think he just calls himself Chant too, Milord.

King Chantawanta: Chantyana isn’t evil… it’s just a phase. And Chant two you say… Who’s Chant one?

Generalissimo: Um, that would be Chantyana…

King Chantawanta: Hmm… Well I still think He-Chant is easier to say.

Chantina: [getting madder] Urgle! [you sunnuva...]

King Chantawanta: Oh, sorry my Buttercup, what can I do for you?

Chantina: Gurgle thlurp thoom burp.

King Chantawanta: What!?! Your husband Toxic Bob has disappeared? Thank goodness. Now we might to breath easier at dinner time…

HauptMannPriest: Now we might be able to breath easier, period.

Generalissimo & HauptMammPriest: snigger [nyah hah]

Chantina: Urgle Thurp! [you sunnuva...]

Generalissimo & HauptMannPriest: oops [who, me?]

King Chantawanta: Sorry, my Special Delivery, but I can’t spare any guards to look for him at the moment. As I said, we are currently under attack by your sister’s evil alternate reality counterpart – He-Chant… or Chant Two!

Chantina: Thumble gloim zoik! [you sunnuva...] [and the royal troll woman thingy storms out of the war-room]

Generalissimo: Well she took that well…

Chant: [over the loud-speaker] Oi! What’s going on in there? Have you made your decision yet?

Will He-Chant, sorry Chant Two, oops, Chant really take over the Kingdom of Chantania?
Will Princess Chantina sit idly by, while her husband Toxic Bob has disappeared?
And just who is narrating the story, now that The Narrator has joined forces with the IRG?
Find out later in later instalments of JLR War!