Outside Castle Doesntreallyexistia.

Corporal Punishment: The civilians have been evacuated from the castle and secured in the old underground bunker, Sir.

Sergeant Pepper: Very good, Corporal.

Corporal Punishment: Though there was no sign of the King.

Private Parts: And now the Captain has disappeared.

---------------------

Nick: Putting the population in an underground bunker? Are they mad?

Dolly: The bunker is from the old scientific era. It was designed to withstand a direct strike from nuclear warheads.

Toro: So what do we do now, Sue-ee?

Sue-ee: We establish the closest township in trouble and we go and help out.

Peta Gunn: It’s going to be a loooong day.

Sue-ee: Dolly, patch me through to Nightwing Squadron.

Dolly: Patching through now, Commander.

Sue-ee: Come in Nightwing 1. This is Sue-ee, please respond…

A burst of static comes from Dolly’s audio-relay circuits.

Dolly: Excuse me.

Sue-ee: What’s wrong?

Dolly: Several communication satellites have gone off-line. I am attempting to re-route our communication systems now. Please proceed.

Sue-ee: Nightwing 1, do you copy? Over.

Hooters, the owl (Nightwing 1): Barely, Commander. Over.

Sue-ee: What is your situation? Over.

Hooters: Nightwing Squadron is now flying over the Town Square. A small volcano has erupted in front of the library. Over

Sue-ee: Copy that. We’ll be able to assist in 15 minutes. Over.

Hooters: Copy that. Mobile Unit Gamma, are approximately 10 minutes behind us. But, it looks like some ACDC operatives are already evacuating civilians. Over.

Nick: We don’t have any operatives in that sector?

Sue-ee: He must mean Peter and Sparky. Copy that Nightwing 1. Assist in the evacuation. We’ll be there stat. Over and out. Dolly, please translate again.

Dolly: Proceed.

Sue-ee via Dolly: Princess, Captain. I believe we have our next mission.

Toxic Bob: Where are we going?

SvD: Town Square. A volcanic geyser has erupted in front of the library.

Chantina: Gargle thog!

Toxic Bob: Yes. But where is the Captain?

Captain Doesntreallyexistia staggers out of the castle, carrying a large wooden chest. He makes his way over to the group, dropping the chest with a large thud.

*LARGE THUD*

Private Screening: Doing a spot of treasure hunting Sir?

Captain Doesntreallyexistia: No Private. [the Captain takes an old-fashioned brass key out of his pocket, crouches down and unlocks the large padlock securing the chest] Desperate times call for desperate measures. [Captain Doesntreallyexistia starts to undress down to his boxers]

Everyone:

Private Parts: Get a room, will ya.

Private Property: He did say he was desperate...

Private Screening: But come on, there are appropriate times and places.

Captain Doesntreallyexistia removes a suit of armour from the chest and puts it on. The armour consists of purple, blue and brown (the national colours of Doesntreallyexistia) plate-mail breast place, over blue chain mail. There is a large blue letter D on the middle of his chest. The Captain removes a purple helmet, which he places on his head. The helmet covers the top part of his face, though there are eye slots for him to look out of. There are to large brown metal wings protruding from the helmet’s temples and a blue D printed on the forehead. Finally, the Captain removes a large heavy shield. Once more in purple, blue and brown. Once again a blue D appears in the middle.

Sergeant Pepper: Who would have thought? Captain Doesntreallyexistia being Doesntreallyexistia’s national hero – Captain Doesntreallyexistia

ACDC, Chantina, Toxic Bob, Corporal Punishment & the Privates:

Captain Doesntreallyexistia: Now, what was that about a volcano?