Arbitrary Days
"Well," Leslie tried to explain, "it's a day we celebrate because... well... we want to celebrate the past year and look forward to the next one."
"I do not understand," Adem replied, "the particular significance of December the thirty-first. If you desire to celebrate a new year, can't you start counting on any day? At any given point in time, this planet is in the exact same position in its orbit as it occupied 365.24 days earlier. It seems to me that December 31 is a purely arbitrary day."
"Like Valentine's Day?" Phil Smith chimed in as he entered the room. He cast a mischievous glance in Leslie's direction.
The alien nodded. "Yes. This Valentine's Day is another purely arbitrary day in the year. To me, it holds no significance I can perceive."
"Does that mean I don't have to buy Leslie a present now?" Phil asked.
Leslie glared at him. "Screw you."
"Maybe after Dick Clark," Phil suggested.
"But Adem," the telepath continued, "don't you have a mate? Or did you at some point?"
"What does that have to do with it?" Adem asked, dodging the question.
Phil shrugged. "I suppose the significance of Valentine's Day - and New Year's - depends entirely upon its significance in the minds of those who celebrate it. Valentine's Day means something to people who have someone they love, and because I have someone I love-" he glanced over at Leslie "-I choose to celebrate and enjoy that day, because it's established by tradition as a day to celebrate love and give gifts that express that love. Similar rules apply here. Sure, tonight's a night where the calendar just happens to turn over by our reckoning, but it's what that stands for that makes it special. New Year's is a time when we can look back on everything that happened over the last year. We can analyze it, laugh at it, be saddened by it, get angry over it... it's entirely up to us. And it's entirely up to you what meaning you find in tonight. Maybe you'll be able to celebrate more than one New Year's with us." The telepath smiled.
Adem looked puzzled. "I do not see the reason for your optimism. I am on this planet by accident and am looking for a way to return to my home planet."
"Well," Leslie replied, "we're starting to like having you around. And we're just being a bit selfish in saying we'd like you to stick around for a long time."
The alien nodded. "I see."
A football came whizzing through the air. Adem heard the sound, spun around, and ducked out of the way. Phil simply took a step backward, reached up, and snagged it.
"Nice." Ozzy Baxter came running up.
"Are you and the other boys playing football inside again?" Leslie asked as she crossed her arms.
"Me and Danny are playing keep-away," the indestructible boxer replied.
"Keep away from who?"
"From whom," Phil corrected her. He turned the football over just in time to notice the Green Bay Packers logo on one side. "Damn."
Drake Marshall's voice carried from down the hall. "I'm gonna kill you sonsabitches! It's not bad enough I lost the bet and had to do a photo shoot with Drag Racer? Now you wanna steal my football too?"
Phil flipped the ball back to Ozzy. "I think I'd better go," he said nervously as he vanished from the others' sight.
Leslie grabbed Adem's arm and pulled him out of the way as Drake came thundering by in his chair, pursuing the now frantically fleeing Ozzy. "You better run!!!" the crimefighter cackled maniacally.
Leslie called after them. "Be good!" she yelled. "Don't make a mess before we leave for the party! And Drake, don't you dare let that dragon out in here!"
Adem looked at her, puzzled. "Are you... the matriarch figure here?"
"Working on it," the bounty hunter replied.
