JLR/Ultimates
Britannica vs. Registered Member #552 vs. Ironman
Narrator: Having returned from the spontaneous shopping spree our aussie hero BRITANNICA finds the arena in chaos, everywhere there is fighting and no one seems to be winning. Spying his intended target, Ironman, Britannica prepares his new weapons.
Britannica: Now it says here in the manual that bolt A should fit into point B23…hmmm, it seems like I have made a mistake somewhere. Wire B and Wire R15 seems to be missing.
Narrator: Ad Britannica struggles to assemble his weapon the Ironman approaches.
Ironman: Are you sure this is the right time and place to assemble IKEA furniture Britannica?
Britannica: Ahh Tony, good thing you’re here, maybe you can help me build this thingie, I never was any good at technical stuff.
Ironman: Why certainly, tech stuff is just my gi…..WAITAMINNIT!!!....How did you know who I am?
Britannica: I’m a librarian, I read it, get over it!
Narrator: Ironman lands, looking puzzled (Behind his mask, Britannica can’t really see this but I’m the Narrator, and I have to tell something ya know?) and he picks up the manual, inspecting it.
Ironman: Ahh, you are constructing a Nuclear powered electromagnetic screwdriver with can opener accessories?
Britannica: Nuclear powe…..? Ummmm, Yes, yes, that I am.
Ironman: Well, you see, you have made various mistakes collecting your gadget, considering you´ve bare started yet I can see why you have so miserable technical skill. Luckily I am here to help you. And when we´re done with this scientific curiosity we can get on with the battle.
Britannica: Good Idea!
Narrator: As the two heroes started building the contraption another figure appeared on the battlefield, it was Registered Member #552.
RM #552: Hello Britannica and Ironman, sorry I’m late, but I had some problems with the teleportation affect of the sudden BFAMMS that happened before this battle. You see, I think it has something to do with a distortion in the space-time continuum which could be explained bla bla bla bla bla…….
Ironman: He talks a lot, doesn’t he?
Britannica: Yes, and the funny thing is that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but neither does the rest of us, so it’s all the same.
Ironman: AHA, the gadget is finished, now, all we need to do is to test it. We’ll need a can, some sort of can…..
Britannica: Well, we can use your armour, it’s a can, right?
Ironman: Yes, we cou…..waaaitaminnit, you won’t fool me that easy. Now, I´m afraid that I will have to destroy this gadget before you can use it against me.
RM #552: Bla bla bla bla this means that when you pierce the 6th dimension, the so-called BFAAMS dimension you slow down time around in order for you to be moved to another place. That’s what happened to me, only slightly slower!
What? Are we fighting now?
Narrator: Registered Member #552 stands completely confused as the two heroes, who minutes ago were making friendly conversation. But recognizing the situation for what it was, he decided to take action.
RM #552: Britannica, use your information overload attack, that will distract him!
Britannica: Right, let me just try this first.
Narrator: Our hero threw his Britannarang at Ironman, hoping it would slice through his armour, or at least cause him to duck. As he threw the small “rang” Registered Member #552 picked up the Nuclear powered Electromagnetic screwdriver with can opener accessories and pointed it Ironman.
RM #552: Alright Brit, I’m gonna activate the gadget now, let’s hope it works, or this may be a looooong day.
Ironman: No, I will not allow you to use such a dangerous Item, do you not realize what will happen if you activate it?!?
Britannica: Well, yes, you will loose!
Ironman:…..Umm, yes, that too. But I was more thinking of the other things that will happen.
RM #552: Whatever do you mean?
Ironman: The gadget will create an artificial black hole that will devour the whole world.
Britannica: Umm, that wouldn’t be a good idea, RM #552, don’t activate the gadget!
RM #552: Huh? Sorry, but I couldn’t hear what you were saying because the gadget started making a lot of noise when I activated it!
Narrator: Ever so slowly a black hole started to form, twirling around itself it grew ever bigger.
Ironman: We’re doomed, we’re doomed, there is no escape. The black hole is going to eat us all, it will destroy this world.
RM #552: Maybe not, there is still time for us to beat this thing. We’ll need to BFAAMS it to another dimension
Britannica: Yes, but in order for us to do that we need a very small space.
RM #552: Exactly, I thought we could use Ironmans helmet, it is small and therefore it will BFAAMS the black hole to a far away destination.
Ironman: Yes, yes, that might work, but we’ll have to hurry before the singularity becomes unstable.
Britannica: Well then hurry man, take you helmet off and place it above the black hole.
Narrator: Ironman did as instructed and scooped up the black hole with his helmet, unfortunately the BFAAMS didn´t take place right away, and the black hole started to devour the helmet. Only at the last instant did a huge BFAAMS occur. The black hole was gone, along with Ironman´s helmet.
RM #552: Quick, Britannica, use your independent third-toe movement on him, he is vulnerable now.
Britannica: righty-o RM #552.
Narrator: Britannica started to pull of his shoes and socks
Ironman: What is this nonsense about toes, independent third-toe movement is impossible.
Britannica: Independent third-toe movement is something like this!
Narrator: Britannica bounced towards Ironman with the one leg pointed towards him, faster than Ironman could react, Britannica kicked him across the arena and into oblivion, or unconsciousness anyway.
Britannica: Well, that was a little too easy, are we sure these are the real Ultimates?
RM #552: Naaah, don’t worry about it, we caught him by surprise, besides, even they were false Ultimates we’d just get the price money faster.
Britannica: Yes, I suppose you are right, hey look, the rest has finished with their fights……
