RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block Penultimate MBL

~Speedy had jumped from the rooftoop, and was now standing surrounded by the hoods~

Speedy: You poptops fucked with the wrong man.....I got a whole lotta hurt to dish out, and you just volunteered!

I-Man: Oh man, he's gonna get himself killed......why'd he hafta blow our cover!

Gooz: Cuz, it's Speedy, man......he does his own thing....

I-Man: Well his "Own Thing" just blew our cover, we were supposed to watch, and report.....now we're gonna hafta go save his ass....

Gooz: No, just watch.....

At that moment, Speedy launched into a brilliant display of acrobatics......while rusty, he was holding his own quite well.....until a well placed kick, directly to the choanes, dropped him like a ton of bricks.....

Gooz: We gotta go help him!

I-Man: No, we don't blow our cover for anything.....even a fallen teammate......get on the radio and report what happened, but DO NOT BLOW OUR COVER! those were our orders.....

Gooz: Yo, HQ, we got a man down, request instructions, and backup.....anything.....over....

HQ: Go ahead Gooz, we read...

Gooz: Dammit, I said we got a man down, and request backup!

HQ: Steve's here, but he's got another mission to take care of with Mxy....we'll send him by before that though, to get a first-hand report......

Gooz: Great, we trade one also-ran for another....

I-Man: That's no way to talk about Disco Steve!

Gooz: Well, that's no way to talk about Speedy either, but oh well.....

I-Man: Speedy made his own bed, now he's gotta lie in it......besides, he's gotten himself outta worse jams before.....

Gooz: Yeah, but if you've noticed, he's not in top form today.....dunno what's up with him......maybe his time away has something to do with it......

I-Man: Dunno.....we'll just wait and see how it plays out.....

Speedy wakes in a room, tied to a chair.....his utility belt lays across a table, some ten feet from his position......he's been unmasked, not a big deal, since most people already know who he is anyway........

Speedy: Uggh......I feel like a five pound turd stuffed into a two pound sack....

Voice in the darkness: Ahh, I see our masked avenger has come around......good.....

Speedy: Who the fuck are you?

Voice: You don't remember me?, ah well......you'll be screaming my name before long....

Speedy: Great, a gay doctor.......

Voice: Always the sharp tongue, isn't it Mr. Doherty....

Speedy: Great, this bitch knows my name....

Voice: I know more than that, Mr. Doherty....I know all about you......I'm a fan....of sorts...

Speedy: Really? I have a fan?, naw.....really?

Voice: Well, not for long......but yes, I've watched your career with great interest......

Speedy: So, what do you want?

Voice: What any power-mad doctor wants.....I want to take you apart, find out what makes you tick......get all those wonderful little secrets you posess........your power, amazing.....and once I've captured your friends on the rooftop, they'll be joining you.....

Speedy: (Damn, he knows......I gotta stall him)
So, what do you want with them?

Voice: Nothing, really, they're just a bonus....

Speedy: So, this was just a trap to lure me into your lair?

Voice: Yes, and No.....I didn't think you'd be so impulsive.....I figured it'd be a lot more difficult to seperate you from your backup.....I underestimated your brashness......no matter, I have you now, and that's all I want.....the others will just be bonus........

Speedy: So, who are you?

the man steps out of the shadows......a balding man....no, not balding.......his head is covered in shiny metal plates, a clear window on top shows clearly the man's brain........

Voice: I am......DOCTOR PSYCHOSMEUS!!!!!

Speedy: ~Snort~ could you come up with a lamer supervillain name?

Dr. Psychosmeus: And what about you?, stealing your moniker from a Silver Age sidekick?

Speedy: Yeah, but at least I expanded on the concept........you, what the hell? you're the embodiment of every lame serial mad doctor ever!

Dr. Psychosmeus: Well, uhm....I....Uhh.....

Speedy: Face it......any minute now, my teammates are gonna drop in, beat the holy tar out of you, rescue me, and when it's done, you'll be cursing my name.....

At that moment, the doors open, and in step Gooz, I-Man, and Disco Steve, all being held at gunpoint by the mad doctor's lackeys.....

I-Man: Dammit, Speedy what the fuck?

Speedy: Guys, it's a trap....

Gooz: Now he tells us!

On the roof, I-Man and Gooz see what's going on.....

I-Man: Damn, Imposters!

Gooz: Yes, but they made a fatal mistake....

I-Man: Which is?

Gooz: They are impersonating Disco Steve as well, he just left with our status report, because he had another mission to accomplish....

I-Man: Which means?

Gooz: Speedy didn't know about Steve, he's gonna smell something fishy.....

At that moment, something Fishy does appear.....

Dr. Psychosmeus: Mr. Doherty....

Speedy: My name's Speedy.....

Dr. P: You disappoint me, Mr. Doherty......I want you to meet a friend of mine.......they call her Virginia Slim.....

Virginia: Hello, Speedy.....

Speedy: Donna?

Virginia: I go by a new name now.......

Speedy: I got that.....Vagina Slime.....right...

Virginia: You Dolt!, it's Virginia Slim!

Speedy: Right, right......so what does she have to do with me?

Dr. P: EVERYTHING!, using the knowledge gained from my DNA analysis, she now posesses the same powers as you!

Speedy: And?

Dr. P: She's evil!

Speedy: So, you injected my girlfriend with my DNA, don't you think I've tried that many times before?

Dr. P: TOO MUCH INFO!

Speedy: So, what do you plan to do with her?

Dr. P: With you, and your friends out of the way, she's going to singlehandedly wipe out the MBL!

Speedy: Right....I'm tellin' ya, injecting her with my DNA doesn't work!

at that moment, the clone I-Man, Gooz, and Steve begin to waver......

Lackey: Uhh Boss.....what do you want us to do with the other heroes?

Dr. P: Right....put them in the shark pit!

Speedy: Why do psycho doctors always have a Shark Pit?

Dr. P: SILENCE!, Virginia.....take care of this insufferable do-gooder, while I attend to these whelps.......

Disco Steve finally arrived at 2089 West 4th Avenue in downtown Thunder City.

"WTF?!? This is a comic shop!" Disco said, a second before a strong arm grabs him by the scruff of his neck and pulls him into the adjacent alleyway.

"Shh!!" I whispered. "Keep your voice down!"

"TTT! What's going on?" Disco Steve said in a voice attempting but failing to be quiet.

"I'll tell you what's going on in a moment. For now, just follow my lead..." At that, I began walking towards the rear entrance.

"Hello!"

"Oh... uh, hi! You must be Mxy."

"I am Mxy!"

A young, somewhat overweight man with a shaggy goatee stood outside the back entrance of the ComicShop, apparently on a smoking break. A pinch on a nerve at the back of his neck easily made him unconscious.

Disco Steve ambles up to my side, "So what does this guy do, anyway?" he said, thumbing back at Mxy, who was exploring the back of his hand with awe and fascination.

"Well, I'm not quite sure. His abilities seem to be on par with the greatest of wizards, but his 'magic' may actually be some kind of science far in advance of our own."

"Really?" Disco said, suddenly impressed. "Well, why don't we just get him to find this 'Big Bob' and put a stop to him right away?"

"Well... I, uh... I'm not too sure who's 'behind the wheels,' so to speak. He may be the most powerful being on the planet, but he's got the mind of a child. Specifically, one that is completely insane and has disassociated itself from reality."

"Ah." Disco Steve stopped for a moment, then asked, "OK, so why are we here, then? It's just a comic-shop, isn't it?"

"It may look like a mere comic-shop, Disco, but I assure you, it's no mere comic-shop!"

"Uh-huh..."

"It's the headquarters of one of the worst scientific criminals this century has ever seen!"

"This century being only three years old..."

"Well, yes, but he's pretty menacing despite that," I retorted. "They call him Mr. Roboto..."

"Like the song?" Disco laughed.

"Song?"

"Never mind. So you think he's behind this 'Big Bob,' whatever it is?"

"Possibly. In any case, Mr. Roboto is a dangerous supervillain with a pathological obsession with the methods of comic-book supervillains, so be careful. He also happens to be a computer genius, so he might know who is responsible for Big Bob if he isn't responsible himself..."

Velo and Eurostar met up with Nuriko and Tommy at the TCT building. "Nuriko!" Velo exclaimed. "Great to see you again!"

After small talk and pleasantries were exchanged, the small group entered the building, and eventually gained an audience with TCT's editor.

"MBL business," Kristogar explained.

"Of course it is. I didn't think you were dropping in just to say hello," the gruff editor replied. "So what is it you four are investigating?"

"The UFO sightings recently," said Eurostar. "We would like to learn of the victims who reported them."

The editor sighed. "I was afraid of that. I hate to say this, but there's really nothing I can do. The reliable sources of those sightings have requested anonymity, and the reporters tend to keep their word. They wouldn't tell me. Even you guys probably couldn't get a name out of any of them. Sorry."

Before the heroes could argue or express their disappoint, a cub reporter burst into the room, piece of paper in hand. "Hot off the wire, chief!" he shouted.

"Gimme that, and don't call me chief!" the editor responded. He looked over the sheet. "Hell, this isn't much good. I don't know what to make of it."

"What is it?" asked Nuriko.

"An update on the whole Big Bob thing. Apparently he, or it or whatever, was successfully prevented from releasing that virus on certain places."

"Is that not good?" Eurostar wondered aloud.

"No, that is the good part. The bad is who takes credit for the action."

"So who's that?" questioned Kristogar.

"See for yourselves," the editor extended the paper to the team. Kristogar grabbed it and the others gathered around to see. "Just the initials NBz." The editor continued before the team could ask the obvious question. "Now before you jump the gun, there's been hundreds of guys claiming to be the Nature Boys and were found to be false. The rumors have become so damn popular it's impossible to differentiate between the phonies and the real deal...if there is a real deal. Now the lot of ya, get out, I got a lot to do and not much time to do it today."

The heroes left the room. Outside the building, they discussed their options.

"We must get what we just heard to TTT, obviously, see if he knows what to do with it," Kristogar said.

"And what then?" Eurostar asked.

"Then...I dunno. We seem to be at a dead end. We could investigate that power plant again if you want, see if there was something we missed. Or we could join up with one of the other teams and see if our assistance is required elsewhere."

"Ooh! I got an idea!" Nuriko said, excitedly raising her hand.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Well, if we have nothing to do right now, I was hoping we could stop off someplace and, y'know...do some shopping? There's this place I know..."

Speedy: Great, I'm back from the dead, for like.....two whole minutes, and already I have two supervillains gunning for my ass......

oh well, at least I know the chick.....

Virginia: Indeed you do........once I was Donna Kaplan.....now, I am Virginia Slim....

Speedy: You keep saying that, like I'll forget!

Virginia: Well, it emphasizes the point.....

Speedy: You harpy......yak yak yak all day long.....that's why I threw you out......that, and your incurable obsession with shoes.....

Virginia: I like to look good!

Speedy: Doing what? the dishes?

Virginia: You always were a scumbag.....

Speedy: You know you love it.....anyway, what the hell is that doctor up to?

Virginia: Well, he's torturing your friends....

Speedy: Those aren't my friends, they're clever disguises....

Virginia: What makes you say that?

Speedy: Steve wasn't on this mission.....

Virginia: He was on the roof.....

Speedy: Right.....what's that Doctor Douchebag REALLY up to?

Virginia: If you must know.......We are actually hired guns....

Speedy: Hired guns, after me?

Virginia: Yeah....

Speedy: Who hired you?

Virginia: Why would I tell you that?

Speedy: Because I still have those photos of you and the bowling pin.....

Virginia: Allright......it was the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, and the FDA....

Speedy: The Government did this?

Virginia: Yeah, surprised?

Speedy: Not really, ever since Ashcroft became Attorney General, I was expecting a crackdown on the "Speedy" project....

Virginia: It's always about you isn't it?

Speedy: What if it is?

Virginia: I have all the files for the Speedy Project......in addition, I have the formula for the exact drug that gave you your powers......if I isolate the chemicals in your bloodstream, and remove them.....or rather, Dr. Psychosmeus removes them......you will be rendered completely harmless......and quite human.....

Speedy: You're forgetting one thing......

Virginia: What's that?

Speedy: You have to drug me to do it!

Virginia: So?

Speedy: Aren't you paying attention?

Virginia: What are you yammering about?

Speedy: Drugs give me my power......they don't work the same way as they do on normal people.....even a common anesthetic can give me just the boost of energy I need to break free from my ropes........

Virginia: Good thing we knocked you out the old-fashioned way, then isn't it?

Speedy: Well, not really......before I got clubbed by thuggo over there......I managed to swallow a little something I keep under my tongue for just such a situation......

Virginia: and that is?

Speedy: Well, you'd call it Aspirin.....I call it Liquification Serum number eight.....

Virginia: And?

Speedy: My arms turned into Jell-O five minutes ago......I've been free for just long enough to get my utility belt, and arm myself.......before becoming solid again......

Virginia: DAMMIT!, DOCTOR PSYCHOSMEUS!!!! HE'S FREE!!!!

Speedy leaps into battle, a routine practiced thousands of times before, in the MBL training room......his kicks land with surgical precision, as his moves become as fluid as his hands were a mere matter of minutes ago.......the strikes connect with surgical precision, and, before Psychosmeus can arrive in the room, Speedy has bolted from the building, and is back on the roof.....giving the rundown to I-Man and Gooz....

I-Man: I say we go back down there and crack some heads.....

Gooz: Not before we relay this to the MBL, this might have something to do with the other missions.....I think I heard somebody mention something about evil scientists....

Speedy: Good call......whoever this Psychosmeus guy is, he's trying to turn my ex-girlfriend into another me......

I-Man: But you posess a power she doesn't have!

Speedy: I posess no powers beyond those given me by the government.....

Gooz: Speedy, don't you remember anything prior to your death?

Speedy: No....really, I don't.....

Gooz: Dude, you're immune to retcons......the files they showed you must be five years old.....

Speedy: Meaning?

Gooz: Dude, in your second battle against the Anti-Moderator, the smackwagon was hit with a retcon cannon.....the shields of the van, absorbed the energy, but it was too much for the internal magneto to hold, and the engine erupted, bathing you in anti-retcon energy.......

it re-arranged your internal chemical structure, giving you a threshold.....not even the MBL medical staff could decode it all......but what we've gathered, is that your cellular structure is inpenetrable.....whatever secrets, and powers you contain in your very cellular structure, are locked in there forever.....they can't get to them.....nor can they alter them?

Speedy: So you're saying what, exactly?

I-Man: While not as indestructable as I, on a cellular level, you cannot be tampered with.....the chemical structure that created you is forever a part of you, because of the indestructable nature of your cells.....as such, you will never age......

Speedy: Incredible......why didn't anybody tell me about this........or, for that matter, that I had already installed energy absorbing shields on the smackwagon?

Gooz: Because we feared it might be too much for you to hear all at once.....

Speedy: and you were right..........I have a headache.......unfortunately, I can't remember which drug is good for that.....

Gooz: That would be Aspirin.....

Speedy: Right......

Speedy pops an Aspirin, and immediately liquefies once more.....

I-Man: HOLY JEEBUS!!!!!!

Speedy: It's okay.....at least the headache is gone.....

I-Man: You're a freakin' puddle, you don't have a head to feel pain in!

Speedy: Gimme five minutes, I'll re-solidify.....

Gooz: I have a better idea!

Gooz fumbles around on the rooftop, and arrives holding a bucket.....after a few more minutes, he finds the portable freeze-ray on Speedy's utility belt.........after scooping Speeds into the bucket, Gooz proceeds to freeze him into Ice....

I-Man: Now let's crack some heads!!!!

In that moment, a big shadow obscures the sun, and fills with darkness the place where Kv, Nuriko, Tommy and Eurostar are standing.

Euro: "WTF?"

KV, raising his head: "A flying saucer!"

Nuriko: "A big flying saucer!"

Tommy: "Gulp!"

Suddenly, a tractor beam comes from the UFO, and the four heroes are sucked inside the alien machine!

Suddenly, the comic shop where TTT, Mxy and Disco are standing starts changing!

The comic stands in the walls spin, revealing panels, computers and all kinds of screens that now cover the walls. The doors and windows are blocked with metal walls.

Mxy: Should I...?

TTT: No, Mxy. Not yet.

Mxy: Why not?!

TTT: Let's let Mr Roboto reveal himself...

Mxy: Whu? I was gonna ask if I could have some coconut icecream.

TTT: Uh... go ahead.

At that moment, a secret door in the ceiling opened, and Mr Roboto jumped into the room.



Roboto: i am mr roboto!

Disco: GAH! It's Bender!

Roboto: no. no. no! i'm mr roboto! not bender, mr roboto! is that clear?

Disco: Sure.

TTT: What do you want from us, Mr Roboto?

Roboto: isn't it obvious? i want to destroy you, mblers.

TTT: And why is that?

Roboto: mr roboto needs no motivation.

Disco: Well... Domo Arigato, Mr Roboto!

Roboto: ...what?

Disco: ...I don't know...

Roboto: anywho... i will give you one chance to leave the light side and join me. if you refuse my offer, you will be destroyed. THIS IS YOUR FIRST AND ONLY WARNING.

TTT: Never!

Disco: Never!

Mxy: Pants!

Roboto: very well then. you shall perish. good-bye, heroes!

With that, Mr Roboto levitated back to the hole in the ceiling, that was covered by a panel as soon as he was in. Suddenly all the screens in the room showed the same image:



"you will now suffer the most painful death of all, at the hands of my latest invention: the deadly..."

Gooz: So, the government's behind this?

Speedy-in-a-Bucket: ATF.

I-Man: Good.

Gooz: Why?

I-Man: Cause we have an in now.

S-i-a-B: What do you mean?

I-Man reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a leather case. Flipping it open, he reveals a badge: SECRET SERVICE.

I-Man: Let's just say I have connections. You two try to keep this place under watch. I'll be back in a few minutes with our way in.

With a slight ::whoosh: the Indestructible Man leaps from the rooftop, falling to the ground below and silencing his fall with a handy pile of trash. Into the shadows he leaps...

Gooz: So, what now?

S-i-a-B: Well, once I get some feet back, I say we go back down there and kick some ass...

Gooz: Well, I kinda thought I could use your bucket-self as a weapon......

Speedy: That leaves you at a tactical disadvange....

Gooz: Well, that's the beauty part of it.....I jump down, swinging a bucket.....nobody expects that I'm swinging my backup at their heads.....

Speedy: Great idea......they will overcompensate thinking they only have you to take down....

Gooz: Exactly.....

Speedy: let's go....

Gooz jumps down, with Speedy in tow.......swinging wildly at the assembled mooks....

just as one gets behind Gooz with a slapjack, Speedy re-solidifies, and plants a flying axe-kick to his jaw.....

they stand among the fallen lackeys, as Speedy realizes that Doctor Psychosmeus, and Virginia Slim have beaten a hasty retreat.....

Speedy: damn, they got away....and I-Man took our only transportation....

Gooz: So, can't you summon the Smackwagon?

Speedy: Naw....I got a better idea.....

Speedy reaches into his utility belt, and produces a small handheld device.....he types a string of code into it, and hits "Return" seconds later the hum of an engine can be heard.....as a sleek black, and red motorcycle whips around the corner.....

Gooz: What the??

Speedy: my new toy......the Kawasmacki 420.....fastest model ever.....I've added a few....surprises of my own....get on......

Gooz: Where do you get the money for such extravagant crap?

Speedy: Who says I paid for it?, I am a superhero.....as such, I have the right to commandeer vehicles, in a pursuit......I am always in too big a hurry to exchange information, so I have a large garage full of vehicles I've yet to do anything with....

Gooz: You don't happen to have anything you could modify for me, do ya?

Speedy: do you know how to fly a helicopter?

Gooz: Sorry I asked......

Speedy and Gooz race through downtown, on the back of a motorcycle.....

Gooz: What are you looking for?

Speedy: I'll know it when I see it....

Gooz: ahh.....okay, so should I be looking for anything?

Speedy: What we're looking for is an armored truck......it should be less than two-hundred meters ahead of us!

Gooz: How do you know that?

Speedy: Tracking beacon...

Gooz: How did you have time to hit it with a Tracking Beacon?

Speedy: I didn't hit the truck with the beacon, I hit the girl with it....

Gooz: Girl?, what girl....

Speedy: An old flame.......don't worry about it....just keep your eyes peeled for the truck.....

as they near the location of the beacon, both hero's eyes widen with terror, as they see the cleverness of the villain's ruse......Speedy looked around, and discovered they were in the financial district.....during a shift change.....HUNDREDS of armored cars were going about their daily business.......the trail had grown cold.....

Kristogar Velo, Eurostar, Nuriko and Tommy are in a strangely lit room--the lights are bright on the four of them, but they can't see more than a couple feet ahead of them.

"What do we do?" Nuriko whispered. The four huddled together as if to formulate a game plan. After a minute or so of more whispering, Kristogar says, "I have an idea." He takes a step forward.

"Umm...hello?"

Shock Headed Peter comes out of the darkness at the rim of the strangely lit room, and responds: "Hello, my dear enemies. I have a work for you!"

Said that, four things resembling drying hoods falls over the heads of the four heroes.

"I am brainwashing you! You will be my slaves. You will return to the MBL... and slain your comrades! Bwahahahahahah!" laughs maniacally the British villain.

Cap:"Ah fer fuck sake,why they sending that fat retard to work with us?"

Grimm:"Ya know Llance then?"

Cap:"Ya could say that,him n Nowhereman have had a bad history together. The guy is just so annoying.......old......and did I mention fat?"

Grimm:"So what yer saying is that this mission just got a little harder!"

Cap:"Harder & more annoying!......Bar tender gimme a double,I need it!"

Suddenly, the entire block begins to shut down....

all the lights go out, Speedy's bike shuts down, and every car in the area is at a standstill.....

Gooz: Speedy, what just happened?

Speedy: I don't know......it's not just the power grid, everything electronic has gone out on this block......

Gooz: Do you think it might be some kind of electromagnetic interference?

Speedy: Might be, and I'll bet it's the Evil Doctors Convention that's doing it.....

Gooz: Well, do you think it's an EM Mine, or bomb?

Speedy: It's too precise, it's gotta be an EM satellite......My guess is that Dr. Psychosmeus, or some other doctor has targeted us specifically, but was incapable of narrowing the beam enough to just shut us down, so he took out the whole block....

Gooz: Wow, you thought that all by yourself?

Speedy: What?, you don't think I got it from a movie or something do you?

Gooz: Sounds eerily like Escape from L.A.

Speedy: Yes, the similarities are quite striking......

Gooz: Do you think it's the same concept?

Speedy: If it is, then the satellites are global, and all power to the world could be shut down at any time......do you think this is the plan?

Gooz: No, the scientists have nothing to gain by losing ALL electricity......they'll probably just hold the city ransom.....

Speedy: then they're probably operating from outside the city......

Gooz: Good call....but we're still gridlocked.....let's hope the beam doesn't spread outside this block......

Speedy: I think it already is......I think they're going to shut down the entire city.....in hopes to cripple the team........

Gooz: then we better hurry......

Speedy: Right.....help me move this bike somewhere....

Gooz and Speedy wheel the bike to an alley, and camoflauge it.....they then proceed back to HQ on foot.....

when they arrive at HQ the place is deserted, but a message has been left specifically for them, by I-Man

I-Man: Gang, we got trouble.......the doctors have not just shut down Thunder city, but Washington, Pittsburgh, New York, LA, and other key strategic points.....this is bigger than we thought.....

Speedy: Damn!, we are powerless to stop a space-bourne satellite.....

Gooz: Not necessarily....do we NEED electricity to launch a spacecraft?

Speedy: Uhm, as far as I know.....yes....

Gooz: There are other means of power.......our forefathers got by just fine without electricity....

Speedy: Gooz, listen to yourself.....our forefathers never had to ride a horse into space.....

Gooz: No, but the concept is the same.......a steam powered rocketship.....

Speedy: Gooz, I've said some pretty dumb shit in my day, but man......that takes the cake.....

I-Man: Speedy, don't be an asshole......

Gooz: Seriously......it could work......have you ever seen a 'water rocket'?

Speedy: What, precisely, is a water rocket?

Gooz: It's a simple concept......it's a toy rocket, which is hollow on the inside......you fill it with water, and then you pressurize it with air.........

when the valve is opened, the water sprays out, propelling the rocket upward......

Speedy: I see what you're saying.......however, it'd need a lot of water, not to mention a lot of air......to send a rocket into SPACE in such a manner....

Gooz: Well, without it, the world is doomed......

Speedy: Well, it's a great idea, Gooz......only one problem.....

Gooz: There always is.....

Speedy: We are pretty much in a lockdown......the only reason HQ is still operable, is because we have EM shielding, and internal generators......none of our vehicles function outside......

Gooz: We're gonna need horses......

Speedy: We're also gonna need to get to Washington.....

Gooz: We'll deal with that after we get our horses......

~Interlude~


Everybody drops what they're doing, in rapt anticipation of what the fuck Speedy is going to do next......

the team in unison: You've written yourself into a wall again.....nice job, dickhole!....Geoff Johns you ain't!

how the fuck are you gonna write yourself out of this one?

~End Interlude~

Speedy looks at Gooz......an expression of puzzlement on his face....

Speedy: Gooz, this shit gets weirder every day....first, a motorcycle, and now horses.....

Gooz: Tell me about it.....thus is the life of a costumed superhero.....

Speedy: Hey, I just got a costume last week.....I usedta wear streetclothes, remember?

Gooz: Later, we've got a LOT of work to do, before the others can finish their missions.....and since it's YOUR fault, you better deal with it!

Speedy: How's that rocket coming along?

Gooz: Not bad....do you have the pressure delivery system working?

Speedy: Yeah, but It's only calibrated for escape velocity......we won't be able to get it into orbit.......not yet anyway....

Gooz: Keep working on it....we don't have much time.....Listen, this thing's only a one-seater, We've had a vote, and you're the one going.....

Speedy: Somehow I thought you'd say that.....

Gooz: Well, if you hadn't let Psychosmeus escape, we wouldn't be in this mess.....

Speedy: Well, my plan was not to let him go....but hey....my backup was still on the roof....

Gooz: Where we were ORDERED to stay....

Speedy: Semantics......anyway, enough with the witty banter, we have work to do....

Gooz: I don't even know why I'm on rocket detail.....you're the one who let him escape.....you know what....we're switching....

Speedy: Didn't I hear this conversation in a movie once?

Gooz: Again with the movies......Pulp Fiction, all right?......anyway, back to business.....you build the rocket, I'll deal with the damn launch system.....

the pair work into the wee hours of the evening, finally, after eight gruelling hours, the rocket, and the delivery system are complete.....after installing a short life support system, and weaponry, the rocket is ready for launch (Hey, it's a comic book, a rocket CAN be built in eight hours!)

Gooz: All right, strap yourself in....

Speedy: Aren't we gonna test it first?

Gooz: Test it?, I thought we established that we don't have any time.....

Speedy: Well, couldn't we use a monkey first?

Gooz: A monkey, at the controls of nuclear lasers? I don't think so.....

Speedy: What if I die?

Gooz: You've been dead twice before, I don't think it'll matter much.....besides, we CAN'T test it.......the thing's only built for one launch......after passing through the atmosphere, the shielding will not hold......you'll have to jettison the chutepod, to get back....

Speedy: Taking my life in your own hands, huh, Gooz?

Gooz: I'm not the one who let Psychosmeus escape!

Speedy straps in, and in a few seconds, he's hurtling at mach 11, towards the upper atmosphere......

without radio contact, due to the lack of electricity, he is relying mainly on inertia, and the ships mechanical functions.......until he can escape the pulse of the satellite beam......

finally he finds himself in stationary orbit above Mexico.....still unable to send a transmission, Gooz, and the other team members wait with bated breath.....if Speedy's successful, they'll know almost immediately, as the function of all electronic devices will immediately resume.....if he's unsuccessful, the world will remain without power.....

Gooz looks at his horse....

Gooz: What the hell did we need these for?

Suddenly, 50 miles in orbit over Mexico......

Grimm & Howdy are still waiting for Llance when all the lights go out.
Howdy is pissed as a fart & falls off his stool.
Cap:"Fuck the fat bastard must be here,he`s caused a fucking eclipse!"

Grimm slaps his forehead :"D'oh!"

Kristogar Velo wrestled with the drying hood. After a couple futile seconds, he got flustered and jumped at Shock Headed Peter, laser blasts flying!

Speedy activates his lasers, and begins his work.......here, the thrusters on the pod can do their work, unhindered from the effects of the EM pulse.....

Speedy: If I can just knock out one satellite.....it will disrupt the wave enough to get a message back to the HQ

He fires the laser at the satellite, only to find it ray-shielded against energy blasts....

Speedy: Damn, they thought of that......well, it's never easy.....

he begins struggling into a space suit.....and exits the pod......

Speedy: Gonna hafta do this the hard way......

he pulls out a large calibur cannon, and aims it at the satellite......he pulls the firing pin, and the cannon rocks soundlessly, as a giant shell rockets towards the satellite, blowing it to pieces......

immediately, the EM wave wavers enough for Speedy to get a message to HQ.......

Speedy: Gooz, this is gonna be harder than expected......these things aren't gonna be destroyed by lasers, I hadda use the cannon....

Gooz: Remember, you've only got five rounds....take out the key Satellites, namely the ones over Washington, Thunder City, and Cape Canaveral......

Speedy: Gotcha......that way they can send up their own craft to disable the rest?

Gooz: Exactly, by the way......*bzzzzzzzt*

But Gooz is cut off as the EM wave recompensates.....

After destroying the key Satellites, Speedy's recovery pod smashes down into Kamphausen Memorial Park, in central Thunder City......

Speedy: Damn......that was one hella ride....gotta get back to HQ.....

Speedy fumbles with something on his wrist, and in a few moments, his bike comes skidding up to the wrecked spacepod......

(Wow, I think this one has died out, either that, or you guys are waiting for me to resolve the issues at hand)

Speedy: Shaken, but otherwise unhurt.....either due to my Indestructable Aura, or some other happenstance.....

Gooz (Over the radio): Speedy, get back here, we have some stuff to discuss

Speedy: Really?, what is it?

Gooz: I-Man has just returned with some bad news....

Speedy: That being?

Gooz: Well, it appears the President has appointed a committee on Superheroics, and only Federally sanctioned heroes are now able to operate legally....

Speedy: So?

Gooz: Speedy, your powers come from illegal narcotics!

Speedy: So? I have authorization, by the Attorney General, that I am allowed to use them without recourse.

Gooz: You really HAVE been out of it, haven't you?

Speedy: What do you mean?

Gooz: The new Attorney General, John Ashcroft, is a Republican, and you.....well, you're a hippie.....not to mention a menace to humanity!

Speedy: So, you're saying?

Gooz: Yep, your amnesty has been over for almost three years......

Speedy: and that means....

Gooz: Yep, you're a fugitive......I-Man is here, to bring you in.....

Speedy: But, I didn't know.....

Gooz: I KNOW THAT, and I-MAN knows that, don't you think he tried to plead your case?, his hands are tied......believe me, he doesn't want to do this.....

Speedy: So, what do you think I should do?

Gooz: Speedy, you can't run......you're a publicly known hero......it's not like your identity is secret.....where would you go?

Speedy: Well, I can't go to jail, that's for sure....

Gooz: Do you know a good lawyer?

Speedy: I know TONS of lawyers.....I AM a Lawyer...

Gooz: A Lawyer who represents himself has a fool...

Speedy: Yes, yes.....but still......

Gooz: Speedy, come home......

Speedy: I will, but not yet.....I have something to do first.......

(Speedy, the story has not died out, but it is possible that most of the postersd had . Lately nobody posts also in the HR story. )

As the lights came back on in Roy's bar. . .

"Who called me fat? That obnoxious cunt, Howdy?!" as the enraged form of LLance came flying towards the biker.

"Crap!" Howdy collided with LLance and the two metas began a large barfight.


"Oh, this is. . ."

". . .just great."

Grimm looked over to his side. A small, white dog sat watching the brawl.

"Hmm. A talking dog." he said.

The dog looked up at Grimm.

"A talking skull."

Fluffy: So what do you do?

Grimm: Mostly, I hunt and kill monsters. You?

Fluffy: Mostly, I try to keep LLance out of trouble.

Grimm: Sounds like a full time job.

Fluffy: It is. So, this monster killing thing, you need an assistant?

Cap:"Stupid..........fat...........cunt!"

Wow. I completely forgot that this existed.

"Stupid fat cunt". Worthy final words for an epic story.

not as good as


TAKE YOUR FUCKING CUP OF TEA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS