Chant's other other lair (we've busted so many of his, you know)...

"'Nobody knows the trouble I've seen'...I need to come up with a new plan...a better plan...to destroy the JLR."

Alice bust through the door, explosive envelopes in her hands. "Hey sweety! Everybody's favorite clone is here!"

"What? Oh, good! Alice...my dear little clone. Hey...I should buy you some fishnets to go with that... Well, Alice my dear little Alice, I need you to go fetch me some supplies...then make me a hot cup of soup...and fetch my Evil-Chant-Slippers..."

At the Barn of Justice...

"Just put down the book, Britannica! We have a situation here!"

"But I want to find out what happens at the end!"

"Jeez! Darcy and Elizabeth admit their own faults and Darcy reunites Bingley and Jane...and then me and all my friends cry while watching the A&E special because we live in a small town and no one--I mean no one--who lives there is half as handsome and witty and charming as Darcy and...I've said too much." [gulp!]

"Okay...you just ruined the book for me...it's only like the greatest example of nineteenth century literature. Ever."

"Fine. Be that way. But we're needed in that other alternate universe so I suggest we move quickly."