RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block The Justice League Reality - Message Board

Back at the Doesntreallyexista Castle

Imperial Guards- Who is reasponsible for this treason?!?!

Ace and RM552- Uhhh…. He is! (Both point to La Machine)

IG- Get him!!! (They start chasing LM)

LM- You guys suckkkkk….. (He drops his poptarts and starts running away.)

As LM runs out Ace and RM552 quickly apologize to the King

Ace- Very sorry Your Highness

RM552- Yeah we uhh… kinda thought you were someone else, your Majesty. Our bad.

King- Ugghhhh…Oww

In the castles village Ace and RM552 are watching LM getting chased

RM552- Don’t you think we should help him?

Ace- No, he looks like hes doing fine. Besides hes stayed away from them this long

RM552- How longs it been anyways?

Ace- Oh I’d say about five hours

RM552- He looks like hes starting to wear out

Ace- Yeah I guess we should give him a break.

RM552- Here. They're coming this way. We'll grab LM once he runs by and then go after the guards.

LM- Guys HELP!

Ace and RM552 grab LM and pull him down.

LM- Finally. What took you

Ace and RM552- SHHHH!!!

Imperial Guard- Where is he?

Another Imperial Guard- There he is! With his accomplices! Stop them!

All three- Oh crap!

Narrator: (young) Nightwing is meditating approximately fifty miles from the Barn of Justice. Memories flash before his eyes. Some of them include battles alongside his Justice League Reality teammates.
Yet none of it makes sense. Starsky_Hutch76, didn't take part in any of these battles. He founded the team and rarely returned. (young) Nightwing knows this for a fact. But how...?
(young) Nightwing continues his recollection. He sees the faces of friends, family...another identity. Another name. Three names. Three parts of a whole. The haze began to fade. The name was becoming clear to him:
B....
Br... A........--
The commotion from the barn interrupts him. He's there in less time than it would take anyone else to blink. Amidst the shambles he finds Cowgirl Jack. (young) Nightwing helps his teammate to her feet.
CJ: Thanks, but I'm okay.
(y)NW: Good to know. What happened?
CJ: Harpy and I were getting something out of the fridge when She-Chant ambushed us.
(y)NW: She-Chant? "I'm not a prostitute but I can give ya watcha want" She-Chant?
CJ: She only acts that way around you , "studmuffin."
(y)NW: I still can't believe she--
Narrator: Their conversation is interrupted by La Machine, who is heard from within the broom closet.
(y)NW: Why would the Pop-Tarts be... ? La Machine? Are you ok in there?
RM552: No, we're in a bit trouble here so HELP US NOW!
(y)NW: Something tells me we need Britannica's Information Overload attack here.
CJ: What?
(y)NW: A hunch...and a couple of memories. After he helps me out of this, he may be able to help me piece together my identity. Besides, the denizens of whatever dimension might not be bound by Earth's laws, so how big a help would Bill be on such short notice?
CJ: Hey, you never know. But go find Britannica while I see what the boys have gotten themselves into.
(y)NW: Sounds like a plan to me. And to think, I was about to bake a chocolate cake... maybe later.

Narrator: Will (young) Nightwing find Chant in time? Should Cowgirl Jack reaaallly go into the broom closet where peril awaits her? And what of the cloned Harpy? Who will save her? Is Alice truly her alter ego? These questions and the missing pieces of (young) Nightwing's identity puzzle will be revealed...eventually.

Chant's other other lair (we've busted so many of his, you know)...

"'Nobody knows the trouble I've seen'...I need to come up with a new plan...a better plan...to destroy the JLR."

Alice bust through the door, explosive envelopes in her hands. "Hey sweety! Everybody's favorite clone is here!"

"What? Oh, good! Alice...my dear little clone. Hey...I should buy you some fishnets to go with that... Well, Alice my dear little Alice, I need you to go fetch me some supplies...then make me a hot cup of soup...and fetch my Evil-Chant-Slippers..."

At the Barn of Justice...

"Just put down the book, Britannica! We have a situation here!"

"But I want to find out what happens at the end!"

"Jeez! Darcy and Elizabeth admit their own faults and Darcy reunites Bingley and Jane...and then me and all my friends cry while watching the A&E special because we live in a small town and no one--I mean no one--who lives there is half as handsome and witty and charming as Darcy and...I've said too much."

"Okay...you just ruined the book for me...it's only like the greatest example of nineteenth century literature. Ever."

"Fine. Be that way. But we're needed in that other alternate universe so I suggest we move quickly."

"I made up the crying bit."
"Suuure."
"In all seriousness, Britannica, there's another reason I specifically need your information overload attack."
"Oh?"
"I've had a breakthrough."
"What type of breakthrough?"
"I'm beginnning to remember. Not just battles, but people, friends, family, another life which coincided with my JLR duties. What's more, I know that none of this was or is the life of Starsky_Hutch76."
"How?"
"A name...I was able to make out the initials before I heard the attack. That's where your Information Overload attack comes in. You said before it allows you to use telepathy. I was hoping you could extract the key to all of this..."
"You mean the name?"
"Something more important than that...its meaning. We'll handle that after we've accomplished all the necessary rescues."
"Or somewhere in between."
" ...Fair enough. JACK, I FOUND HIM!"
"GOOD, NOW GET IN HERE!"
"Ready?"
"Whenever you guys are."

off topic:

Ah. I'm onto ya, yNW. Our little secret.

And pop tarts were kept in the broom closet because Dun like Dinner is a janitor, and sometimes he leaves food in the broom closet.
C'est la Vie.

onto topic:

La Machine: (breathing heavily) THIS.....IS NOT......COOL!

Ace: Just keep running!

LM: Oh come on! My powers are at an alltime high! Just let me thrash a few of them around....

RM552: NO! You do that and you'll have the whole country to deal with. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about when I say that this place takes no prisoners.

(the three basically run in a gigantic circle until they are finally cornered by the Guard)

RM552: Well guys, uhm, I'm open to any ideas here.

(La Machine's walkman goes off. Diana Ross booms out singing "Upside Down". The guards stop what they're doing, in an almost Frankenstein like trance at the voice of Diana Ross.)

Ace- What is that?

RM552- They like it. It's calming them down.

LM- And why not. It's only the sister of SOUL! (juts his fist in the air) GO ON GIRL!!

RM552-you....you like....Diana Ross?

Ace- You. You of all people?

LM- Yeah that girl can sing she- heh well I mean y'know for a chick she-

RM552 and Ace- :) :)

LM- Y'know i think she's hot. That's all, she's hot.



LM- Well. Well....well SO WHAT MAN? SO WHAT?

:lol: :lol:

LM- That's great guys. That's great. Yeah laugh it up, homeboys. Go on. go on. Uncultured bastards.

(Brittanica appears)

Brit- Okay. I'm here. Time for some diplomacy.

Diana Ross...HA HA HA

That's okay. I listen to everything. I just discovered Elvis after seeing 'Lilo and Stich'.

Don't sweat it. Diana Ross is one of my old favorites, too. I'll listen to anything from Eminem to obscure anime bgm's.
But let's get back to the matter at hand. We could pacify the royal guards by having them establish eye contact with Britannica, thus allowing him to use his Information Overload attack. However, getting small groups of guards to look him in the eye is easier said than done. With that, I'll open the floor to suggestions.

the guards are already pacified see?; read my last post.
Someone needs to flag down the king.

Brit: Well (young) Nightwing, it looks like Diana is doing a fine job with these Doesntreallyexistians, they are all completely in an almost Frankenstein like trance. No need to use my information overload attack here. Well done La Machine. Though, I'm not sure about the new costume. . . Tazzie Devil boxers? Just because She-Chant fancies (young) Nightwing. . . Anyhoo, what else do you have in your cd case?

LM: Let's see. . . Mariah Carey, Whitney Housten. . . Divas, oh yeah and the Beaches movie soundtrack.

RM552 & Ace: :lol:

LM: Whaaaaat !?!

Brit: um, nevermind La Machine . . . just keep playing Diana would you please? [Britannica walks over to King RM552.5, who is curled up in a corner] So, RM552, this is King RM552.5, the monarch of Doesntreallyexista and your counterpart in this reality?

RM552: Um, yes.

Brit: He doesn't really look that evil does he?

RM552: Well, um. . . Looks can be decieving. . . . . .

Brit: He's not evil is he?

RM552:

Brit: *sigh*, nevermind guys it happens to the best of us . . .

Ace: Hang on, you attacked Bundy Bear, when we visted that zoo, that time. . .

RM552: Hey, yeah!

Brit: But he turned out to be evil, didn't he?

Ace & RM552: well, yes, but. . .

Brit: Well then. Let's never mention this again, shall we.

Ace & RM552:

(y) NW: So why would a nice monarch, like King RM552.5, be marrying that TrollWomanThingy?

Brit: Pure and simple, politics.

(y) NW, LM, Ace & DM552: Huh?

Brit: That TrollWomanThingy, is actually Princess Chantina, She-Chant's elder sister and heir to the throne of Chantania.

(y) NW, LM, Ace & DM552:

Brit: Yes this is going to be a marriage of convenience. Doesntreallyexista and Chantania, have been feuding for years now. This marriage is designed to unite both royal houses and end the years of conflict. There is no love between King RM552.5 and Princess Chantina, but the King is duty bound and even though he ran off before the first ceremony, he must think that this is the only way he can achieve peace for his people, that's why he is going ahead with the marriage now. . .

RM552: That sucks! How can we save my other self, from such a horrible fate?

[Just then, a trumpet sounds and a herald crys out. . .]

Doesntreallyexistia Herald: The marriage of King RM552.5 of Doesntreallyexista and the . . .um . . . the . . . fair . . . sheesh. . . Princess Chantina of Chantania is about to commence! Zues have mercy on our poor King's soul. . .

Ace: Oh crap! What are we going to do now? The King's ko'ed. He's not going any where!

Brit: The King has already run off once. If he doesn't show up again, there will be a war, where thousands of innocents will suffer. There's only one thing we can do now to insure peace between these two lands. . . [Britannica looks directly at RM552] I have a plan. . .

RM552:

Ace, LM & (y) NW:

[ 01-08-2003, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

In the Great Hall of the Doesntreallyexista Castle. . .

Priest: M'Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen. We are gathered here today, to join in holy wedlock King Registered Member 552 and a half, monarch of Doesntreallyexista, recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize and all-round nice guy. . . and . . . um. . . the. . . fair Princess Chantina, heir to the throne of Chantania, um. . . general of the army of Chantania. . . and . . . um. . .yes. . .

RM552: [mouths to Britannica: I am going to rip you one BIG TIME for this!!!!]

Brit: [standing next to La Machine at the back of the hall, mouths back: Sorry, no other way, old chap]

LM: *sob* *sob* [pulls out a hanky and blows his nose] *hiirrrrppp*

Brit: Yes I know La Machine, RM552 is making a noble and terrible sacrifice.

LM: No. It's not that. I always cry at weddings. *sob* Hey where is (young) Nightwing?

Brit: Are you kidding? Bring Nightwing to a wedding, where his female attracting abilities are known to work on the bride, and probably the entire female contingent of the congregation?

LM: Oh yeah.

Brit: And couldn't you have put on some cloths, for goodness sakes? We are at a royal wedding. . .

LM: Well I am wearing a tie. . . [looks down at his Marvin the Martian tie]

-----------------------------------------------------------
Back at the alter, the doomed RM552 talks to his best-man. . .

RM552: Right Ace, any exits for a quick getaway? Windows we can jump out of? Drains? Anything?

Ace: Sorry, RM552, I think this is it. . .

Chantina: :) *guuurgle* *slurp* *goimp*

Priest: Before we commence, if there is anyone who can show just cause or reason why these two people. . . um. . . one person and one . . . um. . . thingy. . . *ohboy*, should not be joined in holy union, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. . .

RM552: Yes! Of course. . . just cause or reason! [turns and looks expectantly at the congregation]

Chantina: [Also turns to the congregation] *grrrrrrrugle*

Congregation:

Ace: [places a hand on RM552's shoulder], I don't think that's going to work. . .

Priest: Is everyone sure?

[The congregation either shrug their shoulders, or look away ashamed]

Priest: Alright then, let us continue. . . [shrugs apologetically at RM552]

RM552: $#!+

Chantina: *gurgle*

[ 01-08-2003, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

(The choir begins to sing. La Machine joins in)

LaM- AleLLLLUUUIahhhh.. AHHHHleluiaahhhh.... AhhhleEEEEEEluuuuUUUUyaaaaaa.

Ace- Dude, stop. I think you broke my eardrums.

Priest- King RM552, do you take this...mammal to be you lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold to love and to serve through better or worse rich or for poor as long as you live for the rest of your life, no escape, no escape whatsoever, your life has been stopped dead by the contract you now sign with your blood-
RM552- HEY! I got it! alright??
(turns to the team. Puppy dog face)

LM- Oh I feel awful about this.

Brit- It's the only way.

RM552-.......mmmm ohgod....mhmmm

Priest- what was that?

RM552- mhmmm

Priest- I'm sorry?

RM552- I SAID YES YOU DEAF DOG COLLAR WEARING FREAK!!!!

(the chapel is silenced)

........

Meanwhile

"They left me? I can't believe it!"

Cowgirl Jack was all alone in the Doesntreallyexist forest. Sneeking into the castle's back door, she sat and thought. "Obviously, they left me in case their plan failed. Ha! I finnaly get to do the rescuing! Now for a plan of my own..."

Hearing voices, Jackie hids in the shadows.

"Hey, Frank, get this wedding cake to the ceremony room pronto."

"We."

"A cake and a French chief? Hmmm..."

Back at the altar...

"I now pronounce you--"

"Wait! Merci!" comes a voice from the other end of the church.

Cowgirl Jack, disguised as French chief (including a fake mustouche and accent), pushes a giant tray towards the couple.

"Ah...we," Jackie pulls the lid to the tray. There is a magnificant cake. "The wedding cannot go on until the bride and groom have they're wedding cake!"

"I thought that part was after the wedding--"

"Shut up Ace," muttered RM552 under his breath. He can see Cowgirl Jack's boots underneath the chief uniform.

"Madmoselle," Cowgirl Jack motions to Chantina. "Your groom will cut the cake for you...Get in the cake, you dummy...Yes, sir, just take the knife and..."

The mostouche falls off. "Oh crap..."

"The chief's a girl?"

"The chief's American?"

"GET THEM!"

Cowgirl Jack pushes RM552 into the cake and shuts the lid.

"RUN GUYS! RUN LIKE THE WIND!"

Chaos erupts as the JLR bust out of the church...

The Narrator: Oops, watch out, backflash alert!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Mr. Misinformation's lair. She-Chant is reading the "Chantania Rant", Chantania's number one selling newspaper.

SC: Hey, whadduyaknow, my big sister, Chantina's finally getting hitched. Didn't invite me to the wedding. B!+c#!

Toxic Bob: Chantina, that vision of loveliness? The only thing that has consumed my thoughts night and day?

SC: Well, I've never heard her described quite like that before. . . but . . . um. . . I guess

TB: Nooooooo!!!! I am not going to let the only woman I love, marry some soppy King! [Gets up and runs for the door] Hold on Chantina! I'm coming!!!!! [Toxic Bob runs out the door and jumps on his old and trusty US Postal Delivery bicycle and starts peddling towards Chantania]

Just then Bundy Bear, Superfly Sr., Tractor Trailer Bob and The Amazing Harry enter the lair. . . carrying the unconcsious form of AGW!

TAH: Thanks for leaving us at Mount Olympus guys!

MM: Oops, sorry, it was all the confusion, and the hitting and the . . .

TAH: Nevermind. . .

Bundy: Hey, where was Bob off to in such a hurry?

To be continued. . .

The Narrator: Will Toxic Bob make it in time to Chantania to stop the wedding between RM552 (pretending to be King RM552.5 of Doesntreallyexista) and his beloved Chantina?

Well obviously not, as Mr. Misinformation was too slow to post this post. But I'm sure I can salvage something with it :)

[ 01-08-2003, 04:27 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Misinformation ]

Just as the JLR make their getaway, Doesntreallyexista's Royal Guards approach the Heroes and start to block off the exits.

Ace takes a few of the guards with his concussion six-of-clubs card *wham*, while Cowgirl Jack rams the remaining guards with the wedding cake (which RM552 is hangging onto for dear life *squeakasqueakasqueakaTHUDsqueakasqueaka. . . *

RM552: Mmmmm, real cream *yum*

Brit: For Goodness sake La Machine, play Diana Ross!

LM: Done! Let's get out of here!

More of the guards, stand transfixed at the sound of Diana Ross' signing, allowing our heroes access to the door. But calamity! Chantina has caught hold of Britannica's cape. . . !

Brit: Oh calamity! Chantina has caught hold of my cape! Run Team, save yourselves. . . but go and get (junior) Nightwing!! Only his abilities will stop this BigUglyTrollThingy!! [Chantina tugs on Britannica cape and pulls our hero into a bear hug] Aggghhhh!!!!

Ace: What did Britannica say? I can't hear anything over that Diana Ross music?

Geez, you're gone for a week and a half and you come back to a novel...

How'zitgoin'guys...

CJ:

And woman...

CJ:

Sorry I've been out of the loop so long. It's taken this long to get registered and started at my friendly, neighborhood community college. At least I can tell all my friends I'm taking five honors courses .

Collective "ooooooooo...."

After I get caught up with this thread turned great American syllabus I'll throw in my two cents. Maybe even three.

Cheerio (and milk).

AGW!

I was wondering where you had gotten too. Glad to see you back!

So what courses are you doing at college?

Read you soon.

Brit

***off topic***

I knew the little secret before all y'all.

And it's nice to have Super-pimp...I mean, Wednesday...back!

It seems we are nearing the climax of our first adventure here on Rob's board. I recommend that we end each adventure Victoria-style, all in the parlor room as we conclude what a jolly old time we had. Or we could just have a few cans of beer and celebrate in the living room (I'll be the Designated Driver since I'm underage ).

Also to start the new one off I suggest we each do a bio-page for anyone that we created (like what I did for Harpy earlier). Ths will clarify everyone's powers and weaknesses.

Now, on to the show!

Meanwhile, in Doesntreallyexista...

"What do we do about Britannica?" shouts Ace.

"I just heard 'Run and save yourselves,' which is what I'm aiming to do," says Jackie as she pushes the cart with RM552. La Machine and Ace follow.

"I'm coming my love!"

La Machine takes a sniff in the air. "It smells like Toxic Bob!"

***

Chantina grinns and shows her green teeth to Britannica. "I think I'm going to puck..."

Lucky for Britannica, Chantina drops him onto the grass. Toxic Bob is running toward her, arms wide open (and the Romeo and Juliet love theme playing softly in the background). She then runs to Toxic Bob and the two kiss.

JLR: NOW WE ARE GOING TO BE SICK!

***off topic***

That's not fair. You were told

The Victorian smoking room sounds delightful, but first. . .

Back at the Great Hall of Castle Doesntreallyexista. . .

Priest: And Chantina, do you take this man, to be your lawfully wedded husband.

RM552:

Toxic Bob: I do.

Members of the Justice League Reality and the Injustice Reality League are present at the Castle to witness the marriage of Princess Chantina and Toxic Bob. King RM552.5, grateful that Chantina's affection have been transferred to Bob (therefore no longer wishing to marry the King of Doesntreallyexista and ensuring peace throughout both lands), kindly offered to host the wedding.

Priest: So by the Powers, invested in me. I now pronouce you man and wife. . . you may now kiss the bride. . . if you really have too. . .

Toxic Bob & Chantina: *smoooooooch* *slurp* *smack*

JLR & IRL: yuck!

Later, at the reception. . .

Brit: Well RM552 still remains a bachelor, but we are still missing Harpy and there has been no sign of Buttercup or Esmerelda lately either. Also, it's time for Nightwing to remember who he really is. . .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Obvious preview to a future adventure. . . ) Elsewhere on the planet Mars. . .

Marvin, the Martian Martianhunter: It is time for us to invade the Planet Earth, my brother. . .

Martin, my favourite Martianhunter: Indeed. Did you pack the P64K space modulating desintergrator?

Marvin, the Martian Martianhunter: But, of course. . .

The Narrator: The invasion of the planet Earth has commenced!

[ 01-08-2003, 07:23 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

We don't need to worry about Harpy. You'll see her again...next month.

La Machine: I don't get it.

Cowgirl Jack: In another month...you'll see her again.

Ace: But we want to see her now!

Cowgirl Jack: I said that once a month I turn into a flesh-eating Harpy. Do you guys get the concempt of the PMS Avenger?

Male Members of the JLR: Yes...oh...oh I see now...

I've understood the Harpy metamorphosis for as long as I've known about it. I'm still trying to ascertain the specific biochemical alterations/hormonal shifts responsible. I do have questions in regards to the scope of Harpy's physical attributes.
Shifting the topic, thanks for the disguise, Jack. Li Mu Bai rocks.

Now let's find Buttercup and Esmerelda. Any ideas on where we should start our search?

Uh...how about we ask Napoleon?

The word I know in the donkey language is "badoongadonk"

:lol:

After the wedding Ace LM Britannica DLD and RM552 all go out together while CJ and (y)NW go off in search of Buttercup and Esmerelda.

They enter a building to find just what they were looking for.

Pirate Pete- Argggh Matey I be Pirate Pete and this here be my parrot Polly.

Parrot- Sqwwwaaaak!!!

PP- Shut up Polly. Yee scoundrels have found yee way to me pirate ship's buried treasure. You’ll all walk the plank for your meddling you pack of sea-dogs.

The Guys- Uhhh

PP- Good. Now me crew will make short work of yee and when they’re done yee shall be fish food. Haw haw haw! But before your unearthly demise have yee any last wishes?

LM- Is he done?

Britannica- I think so.

Dun Like Dinner- Good! I'll have the Fish Food Funburger.

RM552- You just love your Funmeal toys, don’t you.

DLD- They’re collectables

LM- Not if you take them out and play with it.

DLD-

Ace- Anyways I’ll have the…. Ummm… I'll have the Buccaneer Burger with a side of First Mate Fries

Britannica- That sounds good. I’ll have one too.

RM552- I want the Davy Jones Locker Meal

LM- And I think I’ll have the Cut-throat Corndog

PP- Arrggg Your total is $24.50. Your food will be ready in a minute.

Ace- Alright we got that from the Leagues petty cash right.

La Machine- Yeah here it is

PP- And don't forget to swab the poop deck after yourselves

After they get their food they sit down and eat. DLD immediately rips open his toy and starts playing with it.

Ace- You see! This is good. (young) Nightwing and Cowgirl Jack don’t know how to just stop working for a minute and have some fun.

Britannica- Yeah. Hey wheres La Machine!

RM552- He’s over playing in that Pirate Petes Playhouse

Ace- Isn’t he a little big for that.

DLD playing with his toy- Pshh! Pow! Bam! Take that you dirty varment.

Everyone-

DLD- What

Ace- Hehehe.... (Starts choking on burger) *cough cough hack gag*

DLD- Pirate Pete! Help!!!

PP- Ugg... Minumum wage aint worth this crap (Pulls off his beard and eyepatch and walks out)

Ace- *Gag gurgle cough*(Face starts turning red)

Brit- Step aside I'll handle this (Starts punching Ace in stomach)

Ace- (Coughs up burger) Owww!

[ 01-09-2003, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: Ace ]

LM- Hey guys! Watch me go down the slide!

Ace- (hand up to his face) Oh God in Heaven please don't let anyone I know come in...

LM- Watch! Are you watching? Watch! Here I go! woohooooo
-CRUMP!-

OW! I'm stuck! Someone get the jaws of life!! OWW!!

Well, what a day. Just spent it working at the vet's office, so maybe I can speak donkey for a little while.

(Jackie's stomach growls)

"Man, I'm famished. And I've been on my feet all day. I'm going to get something to eat. Hmmm...Pirate Pete's Diner. Sounds good."

a funny look comes over La Machine's face. a look kinda like this one-

Brit- Will you just use your powers already and break out of this damn slide!?

LM- Can't.

Brit- Why not?

LM- Nets lost yesterday BAD to the Sacramento Kings by thirty points. The streak is snapped, the omnipotence is gone.
Sorry, guys. La Machine is POWERLESS

Everybody else-

Guess I didn't jynx them hard enough.

Ceej, they didn't just win, they ANNIHILATED them.

I think your jinx powers needed a tune-up that day

Well, I didn't even know the Nets were a basketball team until I met you guys. I thought they were a football team. Maybe my jynxing abilities are limited to football.

Right...now to wrap this adventure up...

"Yes...I'll have the number four with the hush puppies--"

"Cluck! CLUCK!"

Cowgirl Jack raises and eyebrow. "Uh...was that a chicken?"

"Maybe," says the pimple-faced boy at the counter.

"Easmerelda? That you?"

"CLUCK!"

Cowgirl Jack breaks into the kitchen. Easmerelda is upside down, suspended over a can of lard.

"What! Pirate Pete's Diner doesn't use real fish products? Why am I not surprised?"

Sure enough, Napoleon is tied next to her. "Ew...they use donkey in their food..."

It wasn't hard to take out the employees. Cowgirl Jack locked them in the freezer and untied the animals.

"Yes, I suppose we can go on the slide...just once. Then its back to the barn."

The rest of the JLR fail to see Cowgirl Jack push a giant donkey into the slide.

BUMP!

"Ow! My ass!"

"Ow! My ass!"

"Eeyoh!"

Wait just a half darn second!!!!

What´s this ´bout some new page we´re being banished to???

Is this another dimensionboard warp or what???

Btw. sorry I´ve been away, but as I said I have to depend on publiclibrary internetservices and sometimes netparties at friends so thats why I´m not always online!!!

Anyhoo, let me know about future changes at:

primateus@hotmail.com

and I will start writing Chants profile!!!

and Chantyana´s too!!

Did you see how Chant look like, if not, check your email!!!

Uh...here's my attempt to draw this adventure to a close so we can start the Martian adventure (thank's Britannica for the foreshadowing).

In the Barn of Justice...

"I don't get it," said Britannica.

The JLR were all in a circle drinking (except for the underage members--Jackie brough Coke) while they looked back on their first adventure in Rob's Message Board. Britannica and La Machine were in bandages from the 'slide incident.' The animal side-kicks of the JLR were happily munching on carrots and sugar cubes.

"I mean," said Britannica. "We should have heard She-Chant kidnap Harpy. You were in the barn..."

"Uh...well..."

"Dang it!" shouts Ace. "You weren't in the barn, were you?"

Cowgirl Jack spills the beans. "Harpy found a farmhouse nearby. We went there because the barn...well, frankly, I--I mean we--could do better..."

"Show us this farmhouse..."

At the Farmhouse of Justice...

"This place is much cooler."

"Yeah, its definately a fixer-uper, but we each have our own rooms."

La Machine pours drinks. "So, what happened to all the other villians?"

Britannica and RM552 grin. The librarian spoke first. "It seems that Queen Chantina and King Toxic Bob are quite grateful for...bringing them together. Bob sent me an e-mail. He put all of them in prison. The Amazing Harry, Superfly, She-Chant, and Mr. Misinformation."

Cowgirl Jack rolls her eyes. "I hope the security's good. They can always break out, you know."

Dun Like Dinner spoke next. "What about Chant? And Alice?"

Britannica lowers his head. "Bob said that he couldn't find Chant..."

Nightwing laughs. "Eh, we can take Chant anyday!"

"Yeah," says Wednesday. "We're some pretty tough guys."

"Ahem..."

"Uh, yeah, sorry Cowgirl. 'We're pretty tough persons...'"

"Ah," cries Cowgirl Jack. She punches Wednesday in the shoulder. Wednesday whimpers. "No problem, ya big feller. We're just glad to have you back."

"Right," says Britannica. "I propose a toast. Cowgirl, put the drink down, you're only 18. That's better. To the JLR: the real League!"

"To the JLR!"

[ 01-12-2003, 01:30 AM: Message edited by: Cowgirl Jack ]

Okay...hope you guys like that. I'm still trying to figure out what tense to write in, so you probably noticed that I switched back in forth. Oh well...

Right, now I think we should all do a Bio page. Be creative--you don't have to do it like mine. Just make sure it gets all the information across.

JLR BIO: COWGIRL JACK

Real Name: Jaclyn Angelo

Occupation: Student

JLR Occupation: Superheroine (the one and only), secretary, and receptionist.

Age/Weight/Height/Eyes/Hair/Skin: 18/124/5'6"/Green/Brown/Pale Ivory (in the winter), Ivory (in summer)

Residence: Born in Houston, Texas. Later raised in Brandon (near Tampa), Florida. Currently attending school in Gainesville, Florida.

Powers: Superior fighting skills with a black belt in Tae kwon do. Also knows how to shoot pistols, perfers a SIG automatic. Extreamly intelligent. Can speak basic Latin. Also can jnyx football teams when angered. Turns into a harpy once a month (see JLR BIO:HARPY). Can cook Italian and Tex-Mex.

Weaknesses: Being the team lightweight, a heavy blow can knock Cowgirl Jack out easily.

Background: Daughter to a cop, Jaclyn developed an early sense of justice. At age four, she was passing out speeding tickets to kids driving their RC cars. At eight, Jaclyn was helping her dad by drawing picture of horses and bunnies on the back of his reports. At age ten, the public school system finally realized what they had in their hands, and made Jaclyn a Safety Patrol. At eleven, she won her first fight. Nothing much happened until she was in college, and heard the wonderous deeds of the JLR. Putting on a cowboy hat, boots, and boxing gloves, the 'Butt-kinkin' Cowgirl' soon earned the respect of the JLR. 'Cowgirl Jack' is a pun on the Cartoon Network character.

Caw! Harpy wants new Bio page too!

JLR BIO: HARPY

Real Name: Harpy Jeezebel Pandora

Occupation: Agent of Vengence

JLR Occupation: Occasionally a friend, occasionally a foe, almost always a detructive force that makes you cry home to mommy.

Age/Weight/Height/Eyes/Hair/Skin: not telling/ditto/ditto/green (red when mad)/feathery/very feathery

Residence: Jaclyn's subconcious most of the time. Otherwise, its wherever she freakin' feels like being at.

Powers: Can fly. Has really sharp talons. Sonic cry that breaks glass. Really sharp talons. I mean...REALLY sharp talons.

Weaknesses: Food. Mostly chocolate and meat.

Background: Harpy is Cowgirl Jack's alter ego. They are aware of each other, and have limited access to each others memories. Harpy has no loyalties to the JLR, and would team up with Chant of all people if he had a trail of breadcrumbs to his evil HQ. Harpy also has a dislike of the Amazon Librarians (even the Harpy-proof ones--are they all really gone?) and enjoys slaughtering them. Whoever she sides with in battle, Harpy's loyalties only last until someone ticks her off. She has been known to ignore sides and tackle everyone in sight.

***

Whew. That was a lot. Look out for a Bio on Alice, the JLR animals, and even a story on our HQ, the JLR Farmhouse of Justice!
Jackie

Right...after this I am going to bed!

JLR FILES: FARMHOUSE OF JUSTICE (with BARN OF JUSTICE)

Location: We're not telling (actually, we don't know).

Date built: The original floorplans say 1835

Floorplan: Federalist style. Two stories with attic and basement. Six bedrooms (two on first floor, four on second). Four full bathrooms and a half-bath on each floor. Kitchen, study, library, parlor room, and den all on first floor.

Background: Built by Howard "The Spooky" Morrison, the JLR HQ represents all things old and falling apart. Also served as inspiration for the 'Haunted Mansion' ride at Disneyworld (off topic note to the non-Floridians: that is one of the coolest rides ever).

Spooky Morrison was teased as a young man by his schoolmates at the Canadian College of Design for the oddities he placed in the homes he designed. The house he built for a French Baroness, for instance, had a working guilietene in the parlor. Other homes became infamous for their pit-of-alligators, poison-darts-shooting-from-the-walls, and the grizzly-bear-in-the-closent trick.

Shunned, Spooky built his own mansion to hid for the rest of his life. He built the barn, located near the mansion, to house the farm animals needed so Spooky didn't have to go to town for food. Rumors spread that Spooky's houses weren't really his own design--that the devil was instructing him.

Two years later, the local townpeople found Spooky dead, lying on the floor in a locked room with a shocked expression on his face.

The farmhouse had been abandoned until Harpy discovered it. No one knows what inventions of Spooky are still operating in the mansion, and if the house is even safe to occupy...

Note from Cowgirl Jack, handwritten and left on the kitchen counter:

Hey guys!

Went shopping for drapes for the kitchen. I stocked up the fridge, so you all can make omletts for breakfast.

Can't wait to start remodeling! I need you tough guys to go up into the attic and get the furniture for the living room. You may want to bring some flashlights, because the lights don't work up there for some silly reason.

Oh, and door to the basement's locked. I got the number of a locksmith in town that gives discounts to superheroes. See if he can get into the basement for us. I'd love to convert into some sort of high-tech...techy room. Well, you guys can name it whatever you want.

Wednesday, some girl called. I can't remember her name, but I think it started with an 'S.'

Oh and the gardens outside really need some upkeeping. I hired a guy named Larry to be our official gardener. Isn't the vute? We have a gardener now! He'll be here later this afternoon as soon as his parole officer signs his papers.

Okay, lots of luv!
Jackie