Yet another interlude:The Database, Australia…
The kitchen cupboard door opens and out walks Britannica and Di Bat Pho. Both are slightly scorched and extremely sooty.
Brit: You think Chief Wacki Backi would have been pleased that we saved the tribes people of the Sokitume…
DBP: Yes, but their village was destroyed by the volcano…
Brit: How was that my fault?
DBP: And the Sokitumi were forced to abandon the island…
Brit: It was lucky that that cruise-liner was nearby…
DBP: And you did knock out the Chief’s son with your Britannerang.
Brit: Yes, well… Would you like a cup of tea?
DBP: 
Green, please.
Brit: Coming right up [starts filling up the kettle] We had better check the answering machine and the mail.
DBP: I will do that dear.
Brit: Ta! Dearest. [starts to heat up the kettle and get the tea things ready] [communicating with Di Bat Pho via their telepathic link]
We should give the JLR a call and let them know we’re back……
…
…
Brit: Di?Suddenly, Britannica can hear Christmas carols.
Brit: Christmas carols? In May?
Britannica rushes over to the front door, which Di Bat Pho has opened.
Brit: Di? Is everything alright?
As Britannica gets closer, he can see who is standing outside…
Brit and DBP: Santa Claus!?!
Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Hello Di Bat Pho. Hello Britannica.
Brit: It is nice to see you, Santa. But aren’t you a tad late for Christmas?
DBP: … Or early.
Santa: Oh time doesn’t matter, especially with Father Time around.
Indeed, Father Time appears next to Santa Claus. Father Time appears as a middle-aged man (well it is only mid-year), wearing traditional robes and carrying a scythe.
Father Time: Greetings.
A gruff voice calls out from behind Santa and Father Time…
Gruff voice: Are we going to stand out here all day?
Santa: Now, now, Peter.
Father Time: Please forgive Mr. Cottontail, he can be impatient sometimes.
DBP: Peter Cottontail?
Britannica: Of course! The Easter Bunny!
A muscular humanoid rabbit hops from behind Santa and Father Time. He is dressed in a green singlet, camouflage pants and army boots. His ears are tied back with a headband and he has lots of brightly coloured Easter eggs strapped to his belt.
Peter Cottontail: I’m no bunny, pal. Call me the Easter Rabbit. So are you going to let us in?
Brit: Oh… of course. [opening the door to allow the visitors in] Please do. Would you like some tea? I’ve just…
Eeeeeeeeeek!
Britannica jumps into the air and ends up in Di Bat Pho’s arms, as the Superhero Librarian is startled by the appearance of a ghostly figure.
DBP: Who is this?
Santa: This is the Anzac Spirit. He is one of our Australian members.
Brit: Of course. [getting out of DBP’s arms and standing up again]. He used to be a hero back in World War I, before he passed on, that is.
Father Time: And he remains a hero today.
5 minutes later, Santa, Father Time, Peter Cottontail, Di Bat Pho and Britannica are sitting in the Database’s lounge room, drinking tea (except Santa who asked for some milk and cookies). The Anzac Spirit stands silently at attention in a corner, with his head slightly bowed.
Brit: So how can we help you gentlemen?
Father Time: I’m sorry Britannica. We are hear to talk to Di Bat Pho.
DBP: Oh?
Santa: Naturally we are known the world over for the work we do during our respective holidays. However the population at large are unaware that together, we are…
THE HOLIDAY HEROES!Brit: You’re right. I doubt anyone knew that.
DBP: But what has that got to do with me?
The Easter Rabbit: Simple sweetie. We ain’t the only members of the Holiday Heroes. There are more of us the world over. Jack O’Lantern representing Halloween , the Queen, representing the Queen’s Birthday…
Brit: Which Queen?
Father Time: That does not matter. What does, is that we have an opening for Chinese New Year.
Santa: And with your Chinese zodiac related shape-changing abilities Di, we would like to offer you membership with our team.
DBP: That is a very kind offer…
Brit: …But she’s already a member of the JLR.
Santa: Ah yes, we expected that response. But please don’t think that we won’t make it worth your while. [Santa rummages in his sack and pulls out a piece of paper, which he passes to Di Bat Pho] I’m sure this will more than compensate you.
DBP: [reading the piece of paper]
Brit: What is it?
Santa: The pay is quite attractive, because of the penalty rates. It’s all the public holidays we have to work.
Di Bat Pho passes the piece of paper with the pay offer to Britannica.
Brit: [reading the piece of paper]
DBP: When would you want me to start?
Father Time: Immediately.
Britannica races into the kitchen, to return a minute later with a packed lunch and a thermos for Di Bat Pho.
Brit: [giving DBP her lunch, while escorting her to the door] Well good luck with the new job, Dear. Have a great day and I’ll give you a call to see how you’re going. Ring me if you need me to get anything from the shops.
Britannica gives his wife a kiss, as the remaining Holiday Heroes pile into Santa’s sleigh.
Di Bat Pho joins her new teammates on the sleigh and waves goodbye to her husband, as Santa gives the command to his reindeer.
Santa: RUDOLPH with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight? [the reindeer begin to move, pulling the sleigh behind them] Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN.
The reindeer and the sleigh containing the Holiday Heroes take to the air, sleigh bells jingling. Britannica hears Santa exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
Santa: HOLIDAY HEROES HO! HO! HOOOOOOOOOO! AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!
-----------------------------------------------
Britannica walks back into the Database and plays the messages on his answering machine.
Cowgirl Jack: "Britt, this is CJ. Call back...we might be getting a source of income soon."
Brit: Wow. Two sources of income in one day.
Mind you they could have told me where they were going.
Oh well…
Britannica picks up the phone and dials the JLR hot line - 1900-555-JLRMB.
After a few rings the JLR Answering Machine of Justice kicks in.
Wednesday: “Yo. The JLR are all out on a mission at the moment. Unless you’re a crazed super villain wanting to destroy our headquarters - Then we’re waiting for you right here. You hear me Chant!?! Anyhoo, leave a message, we’ll get right back to you”.
*beep*Brit: Hmm. Looks like I’ll have to go to the Estate first…
