SLAP!

Chessmaster: Ow! What was that for?

Fused: You've been staring at that chessboard for the last five minutes.

Ace: Ever since Malfoy put a whammy on it. I had to make sure you were okay .

Chessmaster: I had the strangest dream. There were two huge, bearded goons with forearms as thick as a treetrunks, and foreheads more dense than a concrete wall... dressed as girl scouts .

Transneapolitan: .

Fused: That has got to be the most FUCKED UP idea for a plot twist I've ever heard.

Chessmaster: They wanted me to buy girl scout cookies and play chess with Moriarty.

Cowgirl Jack [turning to Ace]: I think Malfoy duped us .

Ace: Wow! Another amazing contribution by Cowgirl Jack! How did you ever guess something so EXTREMELY OBVIOUS? Good thing you're still with us and not spending 99.75% of your time with some other team.

Cowgirl Jack: Hey! I contribute whenever I can! I'm still a valuable member of this team.

JLR: .

Ace: Yeah, and the rest of the team really is "too busy."

Cowgirl Jack: Oh yeah, I forgot, you guys only pretend you have lives .

JLR: .

Chessmaster: Wait a second! Why are we fighting amongst ourselves? This doesn't make any sense. We're a team !

Transneapolitan: The badly scripted nerd with the poorly conceived and incredibly useless power that makes absolutely no sense is right. We shouldn't blame each other.

Cowgirl Jack: Yeah. If we should be fighting anyone... it's Fused!

Fused: .

Ace: Ya! Good idea trying to use your sonic technology on a MAGICAL WIZARD, BOOBED!

Fused: It always works on chicks .

Cowgirl Jack:

Fused: Kidding, kidding! I'm ultra cool, remember? I wear black leather boots with buckles all the way to the top, black vinyl pants with random buckles and zippers, and a dark blue metallic leather vest with snap buttons up one side of the front. I've got bionic forearms, blue eyes, pale whiteish skin, neon blue and black tattoos around my arms, black medium length hair. And, of course, just to make sure you know this outfit was not some horrible mistake, matching silver sunglasses .

Transneapolitan: Speaking of weird, what's gonna happen to Wednesday?

Ace: We need some anti-toxin, but where would we ever--

And with a blinding flash of light, Midnight is on the scene...

Midnight Spectre 2.0: I have some anti-toxin right here.

Transneapolitan: Oh my God, it's the entire line-up of the JLA !

Cowgirl Jack: Nah! It's only... then again, now that you mention it...

Midnight Spectre 2.0: With my super-hearing I heard you say you needed an anti-toxin from over half a mile away. I used my deductive reasoning to piece together an off-kilter but effective strategy that allowed me to instantly figure out the path of least resistance through the frey. Still, it's a good thing I know Ninjitsu, Capoiera, Krav Maga, and several forms of Kung-Fu, just in case. Now I can administer this plant venom anti-toxin I happen to keep in my glove... just in case.

JLR: .

Midnight Spectre 2.0: .

Ace: Oh, is that all?!

Midnight Spectre 2.0: Do you like this new suit I had conveniently stashed right next to NOWHERE with lightweight adamantium mesh lining... among other things?

Midnight Spectre 2.0 strikes a triumphant pose.

JLR: Oooooh !

In a flash, Midnight Spectre 2.0 administers the anti-toxin to Wednesday, and uses... some new power to speed up the hero's metabolism.

Wednesday: Wow! Thanks Mr. Midnight.

Midnight Spectre 2.0: No problem, closet pervert who's too afraid of his own gaping insufficiency to ever hold a steady relationship! I'm here to help.

And with a thumb up, Midnight flies into the frey and saves EVERYONE, because he's really powerful and can do that !

The End?