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La Machine, Superfly Sr., Dun Like Dinner, and Tractor-Trailer Bob reach Chant’s lair and find the others… bonding. As men on a mission, the four understand the importance of helping their fellow heroes overcome this sticky situation. As four guys looking at three wet guys stuck together in a compromising position, no one volunteers to help.
Superfly Sr. takes the opportunity to sneak out and visit the tractor-trailer driver renowned Hooters in the back of Chant’s secret lair. Fruitlessly offers a shiny nickel to Ali, the Hooters waitress, to show her legs. Ironically, Superfly Sr. soon bags Vanessa, the head waitress and Hooters Pin-Up Girl for October 2002, and ends up staying over and leeching from her fridge for over a week.
Meanwhile, Cowgirl Jack finally reaches the Chant’s evil lair to find the male rogue tarred, feathered, and chained to a wall by She-Chant. Fearing that this new Chant may be twice as good as her double (Girl Power!) Cowgirl Jack opts to attack She-Chant, even if it means rescuing the JLR-MB’s greatest foe. A catfight ensues and clothes are ripped to the delight of all male onlookers.
Just then, Mr. Misinformation and his Amazonian Librarians enter Chant’s lair. Seeing the catfight, Mr. Misinformation commands his librarians to abduct both She-Chant and Cowgirl Jack and brings his two new captives to the Library Stacks, their secret HQ.
There it is revealed that the villains Mr. Misinformation and She-Chant are, in fact, a couple who do a monthly kidnapping between lovers. It is further revealed that Mr. Misinformation had gone to the zoo to proposition the talking polar bear, Jack “Bundy” Bear, to use his media contacts (Coca Cola and Bunderburg Rum) to aid in taking over the world. “Bundy” Bear accepted the offer.
It is even further revealed that Mr. Misinformation plans to lead his army of do-badders, the Injustice Reality Gang (or League), to Athens, Greece where a residual reality-warp-energy-signature has been detected, similar to the one that appeared when the evil Chant came to their universe. Mr. Misinformation hopes to recruit yet another villain.
Back at his lair, Chant thwacks Registered Member 552 unconscious, then does the same to La Machine. Britannica, nevertheless, miraculously becomes unglued, discovers Chant’s weakness, travels to Donetsk, brings back a bucket of ice water, douses Chant, and leaves the villain shivering on the floor helpless. Chant then, just as miraculously, escapes, leaving Dun Like Dinner to ponder how they’ll ever succeed in their mission with two JLR members lost (Cowgirl Jack and Superfly Sr.), two JLR members unconscious (La Machine and Registered Member 552), and the Christmas cards still missing.
Note: These miraculous escapes will hereinto be referred to as either ‘pulling a Chant’ or ‘pulling a Britannica.’
