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The real Any Given Wednesday crosses universes and appears in the Barn of Justice. The unprepared and universal-teleportation lagged hero falls easily to his twin and soon finds himself imprisoned in the very, very super secret lair of an unknown very, very super villain.
Back in Greece, Registered Member 552 and Dun Like Dinner round up Mr. Misinformation, Toxic Bob, and “Bundy” Bear while La Machine tends to his bleeding nose. Britannica and Ace follow She-Chant into an abandoned building but the sneaky She-Chant gets the upper hand by side swiping them with a lead pipe to the head, knocking them both unconscious.
Then Harpy burst through a window and attacks She-Chant. A random portal opens beneath She-Chant and pulls her in, leaving the angry Harpy unable to re-establish her scent. She remembers the unconscious Britannica and Ace and hungrily attacks the reawakened men, taking off with them in the grip of her talons. They pass over La Machine, Registered Member 552, and Dun Like Dinner, who give chase with the bell and mirror needed to appease her.
The gods return to Mount Olympus to reclaim their throne from the Chant army and a great war begins. Seeing the battle from a distance, Britannica gets and idea. He takes off a shoe and hits Harpy with it, causing her to lose her grip on both heroes. Although she recaptures Ace, Britannica uses his cape to parachute into the middle of the Mt. Olympus brawl. Harpy takes after him but is hit with one of Zeus’ lightning bolts. Ace, Britannica, and Harpy begin a speedy mile-high descent.
Luckily, the Nets won their last game, and La Machine quickly leaps to the rescue. With the accuracy of an NBA star, La Machine catches Ace and Britannica. Just before landing a stray lightning bolt strikes La Machine, but fortunately all are able to fall safely to the ground. The bright red target on La Machine’s chest is blamed for his status as a human target just before one of the gods hurls Chant235 into him.
The gods and Chants battle ferociously and as heroes do, the remaining JLR charge in.
Harpy wakes up, and unable to decide which side to join, starts taking out anyone and everyone she can, goddesses, Chants, and La Machine. Britannica pulls out and jingles a set of keys, calming the man-eater. Ace, is thrown from a cliff by “Bundy” Bear, but is rescued by the newly pacified Harpy. The rescue is short lived, however, as Harpy turns back into Cowgirl Jack in mid-flight.
La Machine leaps and catches Ace and Cowgirl Jack (without getting hit by a lightning bolt this time), uses his super-vision to see Chant’s command center on the other side of the valley, and again uses the combined leaping powers of Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin to leap to Chant’s command central with Ace on his back.
At the same time Cowgirl Jack runs a diversion by showing her legs to the Chant army and running the other way. After a lot of running, Cowgirl Jack makes a last ditch attempt and kicks Hades in the shin. The antagonized god chars the Chant army and a weary Cowgirl Jack collapses to the ground, only to be alerted by a ready She-Chant, standing above her and looking for a rematch. She-Chant and an army of Amazonian librarians immediately surround her.
Meanwhile, Chant, realizing that his side is winning, passes leadership to Chant40753 (passing over a disgruntled Chant40723 and Chant40573). Sneaking out the back way, he’s ambushed by Venus and Aphrodite, the goddesses of love and beauty, but outsmarts them by convincing them that he has the power to seduce goddesses.
After being left behind by the JLR, Mr. Misinformation outbids Chant for the cloning facility on e-Bay. With an equally injured “Bundy” Bear and Toxic Bob by his side, he makes a call to She-Chant. Surprisingly, The Amazing Harry answers to tell Mr. Misinformation that he has made the universe jump, taken over the Barn of Justice with the help of Tractor-Trailer Bob, and saved She-Chant from being eaten by Harpy. Mr. Misinformation thanks him with a snooty British accent and the ILR head for the JLR headquarters.
Then the University of Miami loses, but that’s okay since that university is waaaaay to expensive for my blood.
Meanwhile, Britannica confronts a paper golem who gives his cloak a nasty paper cut. Infuriated, Britannica uses a pair of scissors to destroy the golem. A pleased Hercules witnesses Britannica’s heroism and crushes Britannica’s hand in a handshake. He graciously offers his aid in finding his father Zeus and slings an embarrassed Britannica slung over his shoulder, carrying him away.
Instead they find “Zues” who had been hoping for the Reality Avengers. Always rolling with the punches, Zues simply shrugs it off.
Britannica informs him that the female JLR member has a Harpy form. Britannica asks Zues to “change her back” (he doesn’t know at this time that Harpy has already changed back into Cowgirl Jack) and Zues reluctantly agrees, changing the surrounded Cowgirl Jack back to her Harpy form! The new Amazonian Librarians are Harpy proof, however, and even savage Harpy can’t defeat them. Britannica tells Zues to turn her back to Cowgirl Jack because “…we need her in a fix.” Zues mishears him and changes her into a sphinx. Luckily the Amazonian Librarians are not sphinx-proof and start dropping like flies, so when Britannica asks him to change her back to Cowgirl Jack form, Zues promises instead that she’ll only be a sphinx when Amazonian Librarians are near. He then promptly kicks Britannica out.
