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Bevis wrote:
"Wasn't there a Tetley tea girl in recent years? She was blonde with a pony-tail and sort of best friends with the young one (I think that was around the time they got rid of most of the tea-folk and just kept Gaffer, the thick one with the huge hat, the kid and the girl). I have no idea why I remember that or why i should feel the need to mention it, but there we go..."
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Vagabond wrote:
"I vaugley recall a Tetley girl, but I'm not sure. And I don't really watch TV anyway.
But it give me a good segue. The Canadian Alliance Party is having a leadership drive, and one of the new candidates is a transvestite. To fully appreciate this, you must understand the the Alliance is the most conservative, reactionary right-wing party in the bunch. (They're also not that bright. Formed from the Reform party, their original name was the Canadian Reform Alliance Party. They kept that for two weeks before they figured out the acronym.)
The real irony is that she/he/whatever actually has some support, and while not the favoured candidate does have some chance.
------------------
11 November - LEST WE FORGET
""We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make a statement. To make money is our only obligation.""
-Michael Eisner, CEO of Disney"
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That reminds me of Steve Milligan (no relation to Peter) the Tory backbencher who was found dead with a rectally inserted satsuma. I recently found out that he would have been in the running for the new party head, if he hadn't died in a deeply embarrassing fashion. the person who brought this up was saying, wouldn't it have been great if he'd shuffled off his mortal coil a couple of years later, having got the job Hague got?"
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Mike Carey wrote:
"Yes. And wouldn't Rectal Satsuma be a great name for a rock band? :)
Ade, not to derail the thread, but ****! Condolences coming via another channel."
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The orange was over his mouth, clamped between his teeth. He'd filled it with poppers (amyl nitrate) and it meant he could keep himself as high as a kite while having both his hands free.... bearing in mind he was asyphixiating himself and playing with himself, he needed both hands. Fortunately his stockings hadn't slipped down, because he wouldn't have been able to pull them up.
This had to be the ""ultimate politician's death"" story, didn't it? I'm a court reporter and cover inquests, and there was a little wave of deaths from other men who'd had a go at strangling themselves in various ways after Mr Milligan was found dead.
"
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So the ornage was in his mouth, not up his bottom? Damn, I'll have to break my band up now..."
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If I recall correctly, the Rutles expanded their minds by drinkng copious quantities of tea in the 60's..."
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And one of my personal music heroes, Roy Wood, recorded a song called ""Jolly Cup of Tea"" with his band Wizzard waaaay back in 1973 that appeared on the ""Wizzard's Brew"" album. Sadly, not one of Roy's finest."
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Great Lost Teas
Part III – Pillow Lake Tea (S. Africa)
Attracted by the many unique species of flora and fauna, naturalist, James Young made a study of Pillow Lake in 1915.
One of his discoveries was a tea plant that grows in the shallow water around the edge of the lake. In the winter the leaves shrivel-up and drop onto the surface where they discolour the water around the plant. Young observed many small fish seemed to gather in schools in these 'tea-clouds.' He correctly identified them as immature 'Lark Fish' and noted that where-as the adult Lark Fish is usually a dark brown colour, which enables it to blend in with the river bed and avoid predators, these baby fish were pale and whitish.
After some study and experimentation, he concluded that the Lark Fish gains its dark pigmentation while young, as a result of immersing itself in the tea-clouds that form in the water around the tea plants. The tea-clouds also seem to keep predators away from the fish, when they are young.
Many of Young's guides would boil up and drink tea water, collected from the edge of the lake.
When Young tried this, he experienced a mild allergic reaction, which he described as a tingling of the lips, an itching of the palate and a mild swelling of the tongue and throat. He experienced a similar reaction after eating some roasted Lark Fish and concluded that the tea may be slightly toxic for some individuals.
James Young's study of Pillow Lake was published in 6 large volumes. His account of the tea plants and Lark Fish can be found in Vol 2, chapter 3.
stein"
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Mike Carey wrote:
"Backwards7, I'm really enjoying these stories. :) :) :) The erudition and the mood of philosophical enquiry on the Teabags thread have made it the envy of the DC boards. Where else are you going to get this amount of anthropological expertise *and* a decent cuppa?"
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The teabag thread is the hidden diamond of the Vertigo boards. An unexpected treasure. Creators on other boards are bitterly jealous of Mike for this thread alone. ![[wink]](images/icons/wink.gif) "
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Papercut Fun wrote:
"I think it's time to give give Teabags it's own well deserved mini-series.
""The Sandman Presents: Teabags""
Gaiman purists will be scratching their heads over that one for some time."
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Well with all the quote books and dust cover collections, how long will it be before we see compilatons of posting on the Vertigo message boards? We might have a Teabags trade paperback. Quick - somebody say something interesting, or they'll leave this TPB on the bookstore shelves."
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Mike Carey wrote:
"No, we have to be controversial. Maybe we can talk about mainlining tea, or using it in esoteric sexual practices.
Waste of a good cup of tea, obviously, but it'll bring in the passing trade."
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That's coffee, not tea isn't it?
Some C19 French writer (I think Balzac, though I may be wrong) was noted for his caffiene binges. He'd start off drinking strong coffee, then when that lost it's bite, would resort to wolfing down ground coffee raw (and for all i know, snorting it and rubbing it into his gums). After three or four days of this, he'd finally give up and go and get some sleep.
Pity they didn't have sulphate back then really. It's hard to shake the feeling he'd have loved that stuff."
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Perhaps DC is one of those companies that starts-off producing one product and then gradually moves into another area of business altogether. I have read all the signs and I think DC are about to enter the tea trade.
Some conspiracy theorists say that ET – The Extra Terrestrial, was made in collusion with the US government, to prepare us for an announcement regarding the existence of aliens.
I think, in a similar way, Mike Carey has been chosen by DC to test the water. They want to know if the graphic novel buying public is ready to give up reading monthly comic books and spend their money on steaming mugs of tea instead.
It will begin slowly: Alan Moore will announce that he has taken comics as far as he thinks they can go, and plans to open a tea plantation in Nottingham.
Shortly afterwards, Wildstorm, will publish their last title. The imprint will be renamed: 'Wildstorm in a tea cup'.
The writers and editors will suffer terribly, as they adjust to a life of hard graft, working in the fields all day, sleeping in a barn at night, their soft uncallused hands adapting to the rigours of plucking the tips off of tea leaves.
The cover artists will find a new role as the painters of those collectors cards that you used to get in big boxes of teabags.
However even this will eventually turn to a life of drudgery, as for the umpteenth time they are asked to paint a Blue Whale leaping out of the water, or a Mexican Tree Climbing Rat.
Certain unpopular teas will be cancelled.
stein"
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CLOUD GAZING AND TEA-STAINING AT PILLOW LAKE.
The tribes that live around Pillow Lake believe that the spirits of their ancestors dwell on the mountains with the gods and are occasionally sent down to the plains, in the form of clouds, to deliver messages.
Local witch doctors are able to interpret these signs as they pass overhead. When a favourable cloud appears reflected in the Lake, the villagers rush down to the water edge, where the tea-plants grow, with their clothing and bed linen.
The linen is screwed-up into a ball and soaked in the tea-clouds. The cloth is subsequently removed from the lake, spread out on the bank and left to dry in the sun. Ridges and folds in the sheets mean that the tea does not stain the material evenly and an abstract pattern emerges. The belief is that the image of the cloud can be projected onto the cloth, albeit in a corrupted form, and the favourable omen will pass into the material.
James Young was unaware of this ritual, noting only that natives occasionally dyed clothing in the lake. In fact it was only after the Second World War when missionaries built a hospital near to the villages that the true nature of the ceremony was brought to light.
One of the nurses who worked at the hospital complained that the villagers would often bring filthy looking sheets with them, which they would demand be placed on the bed that was going to house their sick relative. The Reverend Graham Hislop, a distant relation to Nagpor mission worker, Stephen Hislop, studied the culture and traditions of these tribes. Once he understood the significance of the tea-cloth and the importance of cloud-gazing in Pillow Lake (He humorously described the ceremony as divine smoke signals followed by primitive photography) he allowed the sick villagers to use as their tea-stained sheets as bed linen, noting that in many cases this seemed to speed recovery.
He was even a piece of cloth, by a grateful family, which he was told would protect him from fever. Unfortunately, this was of little use to a devout Christian such as Graham Hislop. He died of Dengue fever in Little Aden and was buried in the British Cemetery, near Steamer Point.
stein"
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I read an interview with Janet Jackson in the NME last year, in which she sung the praises of the coffee enema. Apparently it makes you really alert.
I suppose that this might also work with tea.
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Papercut Fun wrote: " quote:
I suppose that this might also work with tea.
[/B]
Kinda makes you wonder how you get the teabag out. No, no...on second thought, don't spend time wondering that. It puts bad pictures in your head."
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Better make sure you've taken the teabag out. You don't want to have to search for it later on.
Perhaps Vertigo could consider the Lucifer tea set: a suitable bag of tea with the aroma of smoke and brimstone and a Mazikeen mug - half lovely, half horrible. "
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I typed 'tea enema' into google to see what what come up.
Apparently a catnip tea enema is good for croup.
There was also a case of a man suffering anaphylactic shock five minutes after administering a chamimile tea enema.
stein"
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Bet you he's inbto coprophagy as well: the poor sod's got his orifices confused.
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Papercut Fun wrote:
Teabag enemas....just when you think this thread can't get any more bizarre...
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Bevis wrote:
"Going back to the Tetley tea-folk, the girl was called Tina. I know because there was a thing in the paper this morning about them finally being dumped from the adverts. *sigh* first PG get rid of the chimps, and then Tetley get rid of the highly amusing Nothern stereotypes. What is the world coming to?"
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Heathen wrote: " quote:
Originally posted by Mike Carey:
No, we have to be controversial. Maybe we can talk about mainlining tea, or using it in esoteric sexual practices.
Waste of a good cup of tea, obviously, but it'll bring in the passing trade.
That would require a Boy George reference surely ? Following on from the PG Tips Chimps being retired, I hear that the Tetley Folk are being dropped also. Whatever next ? No more Golliwogs on the Marmalade ? ------------------ Adrian Brown (London) * * * * * * * * * * * BORDERLINE: international comics magazine online from the first of the month www.borderline.mediahall.co.uk"
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It's political correctness gone mad - as practically every columnist on the UK tabloid newspapers would say.
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mad is as a term very probably politically incorrect. ""Differently Sane"", perhaps? ""Perceptually Challenged""? "
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Vagabond wrote:
"Nothing is a waste when used for sexual purposes, no matter how esoteric.
And as my girlfriend just glanced over my shoulder at this thread, and may have suffered permament brain damage in consequence, I may be .... exploring options.
Just to squick everyone's day. :)
------------------
11 November - LEST WE FORGET
""We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make a statement. To make money is our only obligation.""
-Michael Eisner, CEO of Disney"
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Mr. Gage wrote:
"Aaaaaah!
I mean... um... best of luck to ya, there, Vagabond. What sort of options do you mean, though?
No, wait. I don't want to know."
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In an effort to redeem myself, and drag this thread back into the realms of good taste, I have rooted out the story of a Michigan doctor who was struck-off for injecting cancer patients with Essiac tea. (sometimes spelt Eissac). One woman died of a toxic reaction to the tea. The full story is at: http://essiac-info.org/inject.html ------------------ ""All my friends are soldiers and they are getting drunk Oh, Johnny come and save me I believe my luck has sunk."" - Jeffrey Lee Pierce"
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Emma Pooka wrote:
"Pop-in Pooka, popping in!
(That reminds me of a distantly remembered thing of kids TV - anyone remember chocka block? Chocka-girl, checking in!)
Wow, is this thread *still* going? I am truly impressed, not to mentioned intensely caffeinated through staying up to read it all(I can't stay up past midnight without strong tea on an intraveinous drip). I'm now calming down with a camomile, vanilla and honey.
There've been some interesting developments since I last popped in...
My cup of tea: A cup of tea. Why needlessly complicate the matter?
Heinlein: Really enjoyed 'All You Zombies' and 'By His Bootstraps' (though for a PhD student in mathematical, scientific and philosophical aspects of time the protagonist of that one was remarkably slow on the uptake), but couldn't get through the first section of 'The Man Who Sold the Moon' - too much Big Boys talking Business and little nagging wives who quite unfairly accuse their husbands of the heinous crime of ""being up to something"" when they were only quite innocently planninig to sell the family home to finance a Moon voyage.
Must go sleep now, up tomorrow early-ish, long live the tea thread,
Emms"
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Papercut Fun wrote:
So what kind of tea goes best with an issue of Lucifer?
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quote:
Originally posted by Emma Pooka:
I am truly impressed, not to mentioned intensely caffeinated through staying up to read it all.
You see? If we collect this thread into a trade paperback, people will read it! Hi Emma. :) "
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quote:
Originally posted by Papercut Fun:
So what kind of tea goes best with an issue of Lucifer?
Whats the line from Watchmen? ""Black as the devil and sweet as a stolen kiss""? (ie. no milk, too much sugar) "
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Vagabond wrote:
"Whee! I'm so HAPPY!
The Honourable Dr. Oberg, Minister of Learning, finally gave me my $1,000 cheque for being smart.
Having the money in my hand makes me willing to forgive them for promising it in November and waiting till February to do it.
Just thought I'd gloat. Now I must go appease the Visa gods."
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Hell's bells, man, don't piss around gloating. Turn off the computer and get your ass over to that bank now."
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Bevis wrote: "OK, nothing at all to do with Tea here but the other morning while getting ready for work I was listening to Terry Wogan (yes I know. 25 and I only listen to Radio 2 and 4. So sue me. ) and they were talking about messages in Valentine's cards. Which gave me my new sig.... ------------------ Your eyes are like spanners. Every time I look into them my nuts tighten"
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