RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat Teabags

sciborg2 wrote:

"damn, my ""letter"" to Mike should've been in the Vertigo Crisis thread, not this one.

In any case, this weekend I drank a nice cup of cha.

What is cha? Cha is the Indian version of tea, made from tea leaves (I think?) that have been dried into black little crumbs. You boil these ""crumbs"", and add some milk & sugar, and are rewarded with a sweet brown liquid that goes great with biscuits.

"

sciborg2 wrote:

"Well, today's a day off, and I've been enjoying the day drinking tea....

okay, that's a lie. I have been eating chinese takeout and drinking sunkist.

ANYWAY, realizing I've had three posts in under 24 hours, I'll keep this short.

Just read Oddcases #1--the dragbar one. I had some teensey questions Alli and Bevis...

1. Are Apollo and Midnighter hooking up in one scene?
2. I was simply fascinated with the secret ""gay"" language. Is this real? Where can I learn more about it?"

The gay language was real, but I don't know much about it beyond that. I think it was fairly widespread in the twenties. I'd imagine Alistair or Bevis will be able to give you some pointers to wherever they researched it when they see your post. "

Alistair wrote:

"

quote:

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1. Are Apollo and Midnighter hooking up in one scene?

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You might well think that, but I couldn't possibly comment.

quote:

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2. I was simply fascinated with the secret ""gay"" language. Is this real? Where can I learn more about it?

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Yes. Polari is real. There's info on it here:
http://www.chris-d.net/polari/

and here:
http://www.worldwidewords.org/articles/polari.htm

You used to quite regularly hear it being snuck into British comedy programmes on radio and occasionally television.

The bit of the story where Polari gives away a gay meeting place in the days when bottomy was still illegal actually happened. I think I got that from a documentary about Kenneth Williams' life and that it was a London club called 'The Nut House'.

"

quote:

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Originally posted by D. McDonagh:
Nope, they drink hot chocolate exclusively.

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I'd say weak Earl Grey, no sugar, and no lemon but a splash of soy milk (gack!)."

strafenkinder wrote:

Vada on la rue!!!!!

Gesundheit!

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Dave's message boards:

http://www.xsorbit1.com/users/incandescent/index.cgi

Red wrote:

"

quote:

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Originally posted by TyphoidDave:
I'd say weak Earl Grey, no sugar, and no lemon but a splash of soy milk (gack!).

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Well, we know for sure that they don't drink armagnac (cf The Morningstar Option). I think Duma might have an advanced taste in tea. He seems to have an entire garden dedicated to growing it in his tower in Hell."

Mike Carey wrote:

"Kenneth Williams used to do a routine on Round the Horne (British radio comedy show) where he and another actor played a flamboyantly gay couple and chatted to each other in Polari in a bitchy, gossipy way. It was always introduced with the words ""Hello, I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy"", or something like that - the names may have been different. It was very gentle character-based comedy, but I've often wondered how many people listening had any idea what was really going on.

Sciborg, I just backed up and read your letter. I can only apologise: it seemed like a good idea at the time. :) "

Lord_Savaunt wrote:

"

quote:

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Originally posted by Mike Carey:
it seemed like a good idea at the time. :)

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Hey look at the bright side, at least you're only saying that in refference to a story you're writing. Most of the people I who've said it seemed like a good idea at the time have said it in refference to something that resulted in jail time."

Adrian Brown wrote:

"Polari: qv ""Palare"" from the french ""Parler"" if you'll excuse my French.

Julian and Sandy.
Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddick
from ""Round the Horne"" ooerrr missus. http://www.fabe.co.uk/homes.htm

""eek at this homo"" = look at this man derived from Ecce Homo.

Name-checked in Morrissey's ""Piccadilly Palare""

Ooh, hark at me annotifying Ali and Bevis !"

Alistair wrote:

Just recalled that I split the difference between 'Palare' and 'Polari' and called it 'Polare'.

Oh well. Another thing to fix in the tpb.

Bevis wrote:

"Round The Horne is possibly the funniest radio show ever (although ISIRTA gives it a good run for it's money). I have to point out I'm not old enough to remember it myself (heck, Kenneth Horne died before I was born) but I do have all the BBC tapes of episodes and regularly listen to them and cry laughing. Julian and Sandy (Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddick, uncle of the police guy in London) are great and apparently almost no-one, certainly not in the BBC PTB, knew what they were actually talking about. One of the best J&S skits was the one where you found out they were married...

There are still some specifically polari words still in use today actually. 'Vada' for look for example. As in 'vada the dolly palone with the fabulosa ria'. heh. No idea what the polari for tea would be though."

The world would be a nicer place if the Telegraph wrote it's headlines in Polari...

SmilingKnight wrote:

Read the latest Pratchett yesterday. It equals fantastic! I just lent Gaiman's Neverwhere to my brother and noticed that it said it was a tv show. Any Brits out there see it and is it any good?

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Cybertron and all it's moons belong to me!

Alistair wrote:

"The Neverwhere TV series was an odd thing. The story was great and well told and some of the casting was fantastic, but in some places it looked awful because it had been lit to be shot on film, but they ended up shooting it on video tape.

The Great Beast Of London was also, well... it was a cow which didn't look particularly threatening at all and would have been more at home singing away in a butter advertisment or laughing in a cheese one.

Croup and Vandemar and The Marquis De Carabas were brilliant, though."

Alexander and the Tea of Diogenes

Alexander of Macedon conquered most of the known world - from the unruly city-states of Greece to the tribes of the lower Himalayas, all before he was 35. The king considered himself a god, the human son of Zeus, yet befell an all too mortal death at the hands of alcohol poisoning before he could turn his attention westwards towards the conquest of Rome and the Iberian peninsula. Yet it might not have been so, save for a random spill.

As Alexander the Great prepared to enter Asia Minor, looking towards the siege of Tyre, the Persian emperor Artaxerxes amassed his troops, calling upon satraps loyal to him to provide soldiers to repal the forthcoming invasion. Alexander's army, at his direction departed from the most direct route to the empire, for two reasons: the first, that Alexander wanted to solve the Gordian knot and fulfil the prophesy that he who did so would rule the world, and second, to met Diogenes.

Diogenes was the founder of ""cynicism"" - the word itself is derived form the Latin for ""dog"" because in his contempt for the world Diogenes lived in a kennel. Diogenes was famous throughout the known world for his scathing wit, and infallible wisdom.

Alexander and his entourage approached Diogenes' rough abode, the man refused to stand. Parmenion, Alexander's aide de camp (and that of Alexander's father, Philip), moved to strike him, but Alexander stayed his hand. The king took a swig of fine Scythian wine from his gourd to cleanse his throat, and stepped forward to address the philosopher.

Diogenes spoke first. Although covered in filth, his voice was imperious. ""You've come to me for advice? Well, a warning to you: your head will hang in that vine, Macedonian, unless you change your choice of refreshments.""

The King stopped in his tracks. ""In that case, philosopher, what do you suggest?""

Diogenes held up a finger, and then disappeared inside his hovel. Alexander was bemused, and Parmenion incandescent with fury at the wretch's manners. Diogenes returned, with a satchel of herbs.

""This is from a land to the far east,"" he said. ""It is both refreshing an invigorating, if brewed in hot water."" He tossed the pouch at the king, and disappeared inside his hole. Alexander caught the satchel in surprise. Despite curses and threats from Parmenion, the philosopher would not reappear to address the king again.

Later than night, in his royal tent, Alexander ordered the herbs brewed in hot water. The king sat on his backless throne, a wistful look on his face as he contemplated Diogenes' words. In front of him were his generals, lying on their fur rugs around a roaring fire tended by slaves, enjoying the entertainment of dancing girls and lyres, but nonetheless attentively watching the king and ready to do as he commanded.

The king sniffed the brew, intrigued by the delicious scent. As he prepared to drink the mixture from a goblet, the king's historian, Callisthenes, accidentally nudged the king's chair. The goblet fell onto Alexander's groin, and the king howled in pain.

Parmenion laughed uproariously at the sight of the king hopping and clutching his burning genitals. Cursing under his breath, Alexander retired to bed, the scent of the tea forgotten along with Diogenes' warning. Alexander never forgot his general's humour, however, and by the end of the expedition east Parmenion, and his three sons, were all dead by the king's command.

Historians speculate that if Alexander had consumed the tea and given up wine, he would not have died a premamture death, and have conquered western Europe. But alas, the tea splashed onto the garments of the king, and, although Alexander did not know it, evaporated along with the king's dream of ruling the world.



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Dave's message boards:

incandescent "

-Bruce wrote:

">Diogenes spoke first. Although covered in filth, his voice was imperious. ""You've come to me for advice? Well, a warning to you: your head will hang in that vine, Macedonian, unless you change your choice of refreshments.""

>The King stopped in his tracks. ""In that case, philosopher, what do you suggest?""

>Diogenes held up a finger, and then disappeared inside his hovel. Alexander was bemused, and Parmenion incandescent with fury at the wretch's manners. Diogenes returned, with a satchel of herbs.

...for a moment there I thought he was going to come out with a can of pepsi or budweiser :)

you know, Mike could make a bit on the side if he had one of the 'good' guys (let's say, Michael) stopping by McDonalds and saying something like , ""mmmmm, Heavenly."""

Sandalphon's new job could be as a spokesperson for Pepsi Max.

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Dave's message boards:

incandescent "

Lord_Savaunt wrote:

" I suppose he could also use Amenadiel as a subvertisement (the opposite of an advertisement) character for product admonishments.

Think about if Amenadiel appeared at the end of an issue of Lucifer (or better yet on tv) saying how much he loves coca cola. Cout you hear the sound of their stock plummetting. No I don't think you could (it'd plummet too fast), but if you strained your ears a bit for the next ten years I think you'd hear the echo of the massive thud that would most likely have been mistaken for a meteor impact."

Red wrote:

"

quote:

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Originally posted by -Bruce:
you know, Mike could make a bit on the side if he had one of the 'good' guys (let's say, Michael) stopping by McDonalds and saying something like , ""mmmmm, Heavenly.""

---

Now don't take this the wrong way, but if this scene is ever printed, I'll organize ritual burnings of Lucifer-comics.
Just think about it: ""The McMichael: It's as good as it gets"" followed by ""The McLucifer: With extra salsa - it's hot as hell""
But I think the McGaudium would fail miserably. Bat droppings never mada a good burger topping.

"

SmilingKnight wrote:

"It's been WAY too long since this thread's been bumped!!! So, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey was on tv a few days ago, and when their first concert got broadcast to the entire world the first international shot is in a British kitchen. What's sitting beside the tele?
A jar of Marmite.

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Cybertron and all it's moons belong to me!"

sciborg2 wrote:

"Who eats the ARCH-DELUXE? Ewwww...

""The archangel Micheal, actually...well, gotta be getting back. The big demiurgic baby will want his Happy meal toy..."""

Red wrote:

"Harrumph... By immense popular demand, and at no little cost to personal sanity, I present:
SFX: TRUMPET FANFARE, DRUM ROLL

THE LEOPARD THONG

Onthe I met a leopard
who knew a pretty thong
he nagged and curthed and thwore
that I thhould try to thing along

At latht my will caved in
to hith ""pleathe, come on be thquare!""
it wath to hard to rethitht
hith unrelenting glare

My voithe rothe up in thong
though I knew it mutht be wrong
though I be damned to hell
I thang the LEOPARD THONG!

Chorus (sorry: choruth):
The LEOPARD THONG ith nithe,
the LEOPARD THONG ith cool
I thing it when I rithe
I thhout it out at thcool

The crowd may boo ""THHUT UP!""
the church bellth may go DING DONG!
I cannot hear them, my brain ith thimply
filled by the LEOPARD THONG!

SFX: Roaring applause, the crowd goes ape

I rest my case

"

quote:

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Originally posted by Red:

THE LEOPARD THONG

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finally, a song i can relate to.

"

Adrian Brown wrote:

"I've never tasted tea.

From Danny Baker's radio show,
for your amusement.

(Probably posted this here before, but there's new folks)"

oi Dave,

i went around looking for an email add of yours but i couldn't find one so i have to do this in public,

i just want to ask for permission regarding one of your tea stories(Alexander and the Tea of Diogenes), i've been trawling around looking for short stories about different stuff and i like that one for ""Tea""

but before i go ahead and do stuff, i have to ask permission first. they say it's the ethical thing to do.

so, Dave, can I use one of your Tea stories for my webpage?"

quote:

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Originally posted by Neilencio:
oi Dave,

i went around looking for an email add of yours but i couldn't find one so i have to do this in public,

i just want to ask for permission regarding one of your tea stories(Alexander and the Tea of Diogenes), i've been trawling around looking for short stories about different stuff and i like that one for ""Tea""

but before i go ahead and do stuff, i have to ask permission first. they say it's the ethical thing to do.

so, Dave, can I use one of your Tea stories for my webpage?

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Get your lawyer to contact me and we'll discuss royalties and licensing.

I'm joking. Sure you can use it: I'm happy someone liked it enough to reprint it. If you're going to credit it, my real name is David Stewart (not the guy who colours comics).

Also, if you can post your website url on a message board on the link in my sig, I'll be able to show it off to my disbelieving wife and friends.

(As an aside, Neilencio, the characters and circumstances in that story were all real, except for the tea-related bit. From memory, no one knows what Alexander discussed with Diogenes.)

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Dave's message boards:

incandescent "

Neilencio, in case you don't read my comments on my boards, that is an extremely cool thing you've done....

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Dave's message boards:

incandescent "

quote:

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Originally posted by TyphoidDave:
Neilencio, in case you don't read my comments on my boards, that is an extremely cool thing you've done....

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Thank you. i read it on your message board already.

it is done in the name of The Teabag Thread after all,"

sciborg2 wrote:

"If and when rob deletes this thread or locks it, is there a way we can download it from somewhere?

There is so much good stuff in here, from kitschy sodas to lost teas to ""gay"" languages, and going back and trying to find it all seems way too insane..."

Unfortunately not. Let me tell you the tale of Bibboa.

Bibboa was a message board here at the Dc site which was not in use. The poster known as Bibbo cleverly discovered it by counting the forum numbers, and finding out which numbers were not in use (this forum is #119, if you look in the url panel on your screen). He then provided a link to the vacant board to about 30 people, and we all posted there as an off-topic, mess-around board, called the Republic of Bibboa (we had futilely declared ourselves independent of Rob, and gave ourselves ministerial positions within the secessionist Bibboan government. I think I was Minister for Tourism.)

Rob (who is a nice guy and has his own message board at www.robkamphausen.com) rapidly found out about this because he gets a user traffic report, and was perplexed by the ""4% traffic, unnamed board"" reading. He investigated, found Bibboa, and let us mess about there for a few more weeks until he had to use the board for a new title (from memory, appropriately Suicide Squad, but I could be wrong).

Anyway, Martin, the moderator at www.mobiusinfinity.com, a now defunct and once very busy board which was used by posters from DC and Wizard's boards, wrote to Rob and asked him if he could save Bibboa by transplanting all the threads to mobiusinfinity.com. I understand that Rob said no, because threads on the DC boards are DC's property, and he can't just give them away - he is under a tight rein from his boss, and doesn't have much discretion in these things.

Having said all that, I can talk to Rob about copying the Teabags thread onto my board (or to www.lucifermorningstar.com) as a way of preserving it. Rob is much more technically minded than me and he'd know how to do it. I don't know what he'll say though, as to whether he is allowed to do it.

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Dave's message boards:

incandescent "

Red wrote:

"Let me just point out that it's been THREE DAYS wothout a teabag posting. Doesn't anyone drink tea anymore? I know I did, just yesterday, while working on putting the finishing touches on my 126-page Master's dissertation in History, which is almost done. Yippee - 3 years of work nearly done!"

I hope you remembered to save before logging on here, then..."

Red wrote:

"

quote:

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Originally posted by D. McDonagh:
I hope you remembered to save before logging on here, then...

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Yup. Not that I haven't saved before, mind you..."

Lord_Savaunt wrote:

" At one time I had a file with copied text from most of the homework related threads. Unfortunately the computre they were on crashed. I've been thinking about doing it with this one for awhile, but I'm afraid that it will create a vortex inside my girlfriends computer that might turn it into a black hole."

Invisigoth wrote:

"My, this poor old thread seems like it might be winding down at last. And a co-worker in my office has given up tea along with every other source of caffiene.

Isn't that one of the signs of the End of Days?"

Keldin lauke wrote:

TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEE TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA T TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA T TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEE TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA

strafenkinder wrote:

I'll drink to that...

Heaven's Betrayal wrote:

"Doing my part to keep this thread alive...

I just tried something called Bengal Spice tea...I ended up dumping it out in the sink. The box says it's supposed to have a creamy flavor and tosses around other words like ""zesty"" and ""exotic"". I can't say what I thought it tasted like here, but I can say that I contemplated gargling with the cat litter just to get the taste out of my mouth.

Recommendation: Don't try this flavor at home.

Or anywhere else.



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""I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,""
-- Colonel Oliver North, Iran-Contra testimony."