Top Ten Signs Rush Limbaugh Might Not Be Ready To Come Back To Work


10. "Accidentally" falls down stairs 2, 3 times a day to get the pain pills

9. Named his two new puppies "Oxy" and "Contin"

8. Keeps going up to the roof to see if he can fly like that guy from "The Matrix"

7. Thoroughly enjoyed last night's "Becker"

6. He's currently following Phish around the Pacific northwest

5. Responds to all callers, "Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty"

4. Could swear he saw sheep being herded down Broadway

3. Yesterday he did a three hour show into the drive-thru speaker at Jack in the Box

2. These days, only 80% blowhard

1. Released amateur sex video making love to himself