Once upon a time, you might've been right about our ability to trust in, or at least have faith in the motives of, the mainstream press.

But this is post-merger America, man. There is no mainstream press anymore, especially when it comes to television, which more and more Americans are coming to rely upon entirely. We've got news re-packaging services now, that's all.

See, you guys are talking like I'm some lunatic out on a street corner, shouting to a world that knows I'm nuts. Quite possibly, I am -- but I'm not the only one. Observe the story I read in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer about the Air Force Colonel who was fired and now faces a court-martial for claiming that "Bush allowed 911 to happen because his presidency was going nowhere."

He's now facing a court-martial, because of some rule in the military that says you aren't allowed to utter "contemptuous words" against the President of the United States.

This is news! This is HUGE news! An Air Force colonel, claiming that us conspiracy theorists are correct -- now, how much of this have you seen on CNN? They're too busy covering sex scandals in the church, apparently.

There are, what, three companies that own the majority of networks now, including the news networks? And they aren't exactly varied experiences -- the only real difference is that a different set of talking heads tells you exactly the same news on MSNBC that you were getting on FOXNews (although I like the talking heads on MSNBC more -- I suddenly can't remember which one Ashley Banfield is on -- is she a hottie or what?). Sure, they've got reporters, but are they really anything other than actors anymore? They go to the Middle East and report exactly the same press releases from the Pentagon, which the Pentagon has already admitted are faked!

On the rare occasions when real news shows up, they can't away from it quickly enough. They'll show the same report on sex scandals and missing kids, over and over and over again, with no new information, just a different person giving a live report of exactly the same information they gave before. Then, whenever someone says anything that isn't in the script -- and watch their eyes, there is a script -- it's always, "Oops! Sorry, guys, this has been fascinating, but we're out of time. Let's take you now to breaking news in the catholic church sex scandals ..." Whereupon they recycle that information once more.

What about the best-selling book in France, the title of which I've forgotten (Dave seems to know what I'm talking about better than I do -- maybe he remembers), that claims that the Pentagon was never hit by an airplane? It was reported once that I saw, just long enough for that skinny little dipshit with the evil-looking nose to talk about what an outrage it was that anybody would dispute the "official" reality given to us by our friends in military intelligence, and then never discussed again.

There is no mainstream press. It's nothing but one big commercial for whoever's in charge around here -- not that I've got much clue who the hell that is anymore.

Think about it -- is there more money to be made in reporting the news, or in playing along and enforcing the public's perception of events?

Like the FBI is learning: don't rock the boat.