I've found that in the past, it's nice to be feared sometimes (especially convient in my job), but in real relationships, it's loved all the way.
A few years back, I was put in charge of the training program at my office, and I ended up training all new people who came through. With an average training program that lasts 9 monthes to a year, I found myself swamped with work (at one point I was juggling four trainees at a time) and my nerves were frayed. I originally took the position on when they asked me because I thought it would be fun, but after two years, I was a wreck. I was a miserable person to talk to, began to really hate the place I worked at, and began having problems with my girlfriend even (She's one of the bosses there). I got to the point, that trainees of mine were going over my head and telling my boss that they were thinking of quiting because they couldn't work for me anymore. They didn't try to do their job right because they liked me, and they wanted to do their best. They were doing what ever they could just to keep out of trouble because they knew that if they screwed up I would be all over them.
Once the problem was pointed out to me, and I stepped back and looked at the situation, I realized what an asshole I had become. Even people there who I had considered some of my best friends stayed away from me because I had become such an ass. Even after I had resigned from that position, and returned to my normal lovable self, it took a long time to repair some of the damage I had done. It still bothers me a lot that I couldn't be there for one of my best friends there when she needed a friend when her marriage fell apart. She was the person directly in charge of me, and I let so much of my anger at the situation out on her, she couldn't trust me enough to even talk to me on a personal level anymore.
Yeah, people tried to please me all the time, but it was because they were afraid of me. There was no sense of joy in watching a friend's accomplishments or anything, because at the time, I really didn't have any friends.
We still have new people coming through the office all the time, and I still see trainers going through the same cycle of power-abuse and burn-out that I went through. Every new person who has come through and isn't familiar with the situation that happened with me has come up to me and said "God, I hate the way so-and-so trains. I wish you were training me instead." I've always just looked them straight in the eye and said "Be glad you don't have me." Then I explain to them what happened to me and just how frustrating their job could be, and they look at me with a confused look on their faces...
Oh well...They'll get it someday...
