quote:
Originally posted by Rob Kamphausen:
im currently trying the delicious atkins diet. id like to drop some of the love in my handles, otherwise known as my "6 pack of abs protector."

id also like to do it quickly.

the pro of the atkins diet: its fast working. plus, all the meat, cheese, and fatty stuff you can eat.

the con: no pasta.

as a poor, single, bachelor, pasta is by far the most appealing of foods. shortly followed by bread and potatoes, which are also out. none of the white stuff. thats bad, cuz its cheap, easy, and convenient.

sure, 50 hamburgers a day without any worry sounds nice as hell, but... no roll with that burger? ... ever? ... that hurts.

plus (and get this!) for the first two weeks of my atkins diet, no booze. ... no... booze.

im... very much in love with booze. during the weekend, and at least 2 nights during the work week.

an after-work "hooters" fest now goes from a day of breaded and fried wings and 5 or 6 beers to a day of ... water...(?) and grilled chicken sammidge. no bun.

that doesn't sound like a party.
Sorry to speak ill of the departed (Atkins recently died due to a head injury), but did you know that Atkins suffered a heart attack not too many months before he wound up dying from that head injury? And get this: he had the heart attack while standing in line at a fast food restaurant waiting for his breakfast order of plain sausage patties and eggs smeared in butter. I'm fucking dead serious here, gang. Accident? Or cautionary tale? YOU decide...