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Captain Sammitch said:
Yeah, probably. I wasn't sure exactly how to handle the timeframe in which all the little elements of that dialogue took place. So I tried to make it a bit more self-contained. I was thinking that if it did overlap temporally with someone else's plans, they could indicate <Before> or <Meanwhile> or <Dammit wait for me!> Next time I'll try to make it more open-ended. Glad you liked the rest of it though.



I certainly wasn't complaining, per se, Phil. I thought it was an excellent post. It was just a perception, that's all.

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I'm still trying to learn how to allow my own ideas to unfold without impeding the flow of the story. I managed to smuggle in a good bit of characterization (I thought), behind-the-story exposition, and a little humor without bending the narrative to my own parameters. Next time I'll try as hard to keep from breaking the action on the boards as in the story.



Actually, I thought you worked your personl storylines in rather well, considering the circumstances. It blended into the framework of what's going on, and that's important. Over all, a great post.