Phil watched as Mason Templar rode Erasmus over the beach in a wide arc that would take him over open sea before returning to land. "Y'know, that guy is really over-the-top."
"I think that's intentional," replied Dan with a grin.
"Hey." Epicenter stood awkwardly at attention while also trying to get the Vanguardian leader to notice him.
Danny finally turned and walked over to him. "Who the hell are you?"
"I've come to join your team. My name--"
"You've come to join our team?" Danny questioned.
"He's come to join our team?!?" the entire team sang as one, joining hands and dancing around in a jig. "Oh, he's come to join our team... he's come to join our team... YEE-HAW! Hey-ho, the merry-oh, he's come to join our team!"
Phil: "Woo!"
Epicenter: "..."
Danny Hearn shook his head. This kind of thing never seems to happen when he writes his own posts. "So... what's your name?"
"It's... well, you can call me Epicenter."
"Look, we don't really use code-names here, 'Eppie,'" Dan said. "I mean, if we started calling you 'Epicentre'..."
"That's EpicentER -- I use the American spelling."
"Whatever! What I'm saying is that, if we called you 'Epicenter,' then everyone would start calling me 'Animalman' again, and all hell would break loose."
"'Animalman'?" Epicenter repeated, utterly confused.
Dan held up a finger and wore a serious expression. "Don't you start!"
"O-okay..."
"We still need your name for all the Perditian immigration and employment forms, though. La Perdita doesn't have any income tax, but it requires proof of legal immigration before allowing employment on the island. What's your full name, and while we're at it, tell us your background."
Epicenter scratched his head and said, "Well, as I was telling Miss Xiang, I--"
"Whoa. Stop there, pal," Danny said. "You went to Miss X first?"
"'Miss Sex'?"
"I warned you once, pal -- don't start with me. Hm. This is worse than I thought. The only thing worse you could tell me is that you used to belong to Jack Merlin's Strikeforce."
"Uhh... well..."
"Oh bloody hell!" Dan said, suddenly gaining a very strong headache. He sat down for a moment and shook his head, laughing at the absurdity of the day so far. "Well, anyways, 'Eppie,' you can at least tell me your name. We'll have to have you checked out, of course."
"It's Matthews, sir."
"First name or last?"
"That's my surname, sir."
"Don't call me sir. What's your given name?"
"It's..."
PLOP!
"CRAP!" Epicenter stood back and found himself covered with enough bird-shit to fill a large bucket. In the near distance, a man laughed heartily.
