Exactly 2.34652 minutes later…
Brit: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
DBP: [looking worridly at the sleeping Britannica] Steve is very tired and has been working very hard. Maybe I should not have asked her to find a ring for me?
Phil: [looking back through the rear-vision mirror] Nah. Wouldn’t worry ‘bout that. Steve’s always fallen asleep during car trips. Why dontcha just sit back and relax? We’ll have a break when we hit Mexico…
The next day while travelling through Colombia, the travellers receive a distress call from the local UNUT member
de Cafetero, who needs assistance in breaking up a drug trafficking racket that is operating in the country.
de Cafetero Si Amigo! I called Miss Venezuela, but she has to deal with some rioting at a beauty pagant in Caracas…
Phil: Not again!?!
de Cafetero UNUT H.Q. advised you were in the area. Over.
Phil: Roger. Hang on a tick, mate… [after getting the OK with Brit and DBP] OK we’re on our way Juan. Over.
de Cafetero: We? Over.
Phil: I’ve got my brother and future sister-in-law from the JLR with me. Over.
de Cafetero: Si! Marvelous! The more the merrier. Over and out.
DBP: de Cafetero… the Coffee Farmer?
Phil: Yeah, he gains his powers of increased alertness, strength, speed and stamina after drinking his special secret blend of Colombian coffee.
Brit: What’s the story with this Miss Venezuela?
Phil: Miss Venezuela has empathic abilities. She can basically control any male’s emotions.
Brit: She can’t be very effective, if she can’t control a riot at a beauty pagent?
Phil: No, she controls them all right. In fact she’s the one who gets the blokes to start the riots.
DBP: What? Why?
Phil: Let’s just say she likes to get physical from time to time…
Brit & DBP: 
Later that afternoon, Britannica, Di Bat Pho, the Southern Cross, de Cafetero and Blue have rounded up all the smugglers and destroyed the drug racket.
de Cafetero: Gracias Senorita and Senor. [shaking hands with Britannica] I am most grateful for your help today.
Brit: Glad that we could be of assistance. But we must really be on our way…
de Cafetero: Nonsense Amigo! You have seen the ugly side of my country. I insist that I have the chance to show you the beautiful…
Brit: Well that’s very kind…
de Cafetero: …and help me collect the 1-million peso reward for capturing these hombres.
Brit: We’d be delighted to stay. Wouldn’t we dear?
DBP: 
Di Bat Pho, Britannica, Phil and Blue spend a very pleasant 24-hours with de Cafetero. They take in the sights of the countryside. The sample the local food, listen to the local music, catch a local soccer match, but politely decline the local coffee. They travel to the capital, Santafe de Bogota to collect the 1-million peso reward.
de Cafetero Si Amego, we hunt down member countries most wanted criminals. Half of the reward money goes to humanitarian aid. The rest goes back into UNUT.
Brit: Well if that’s the case, perhaps we shouldn’t…
de Cafetero Nonsense. I am happy to recommend that half the money go to you and the lovely Senorita Di Bat Pho. Think of it as a wedding present from me to you, for your help yesterday.
Phil: But the money’s got to be declared with the UN first. Go through the usual red-tape.
DBP: I too work for a world government. I understand how these things work.
de Cafetero: In the mean time, please accept a packet of my special secret Colombian coffee blend.
Brit: [accepting the package] Why thank you. You shouldn’t have… really.
Three days later the heroes arrive in Australia.
Brit: Um Phil…
Phil: Yeah Steve?
Brit: We’re back in Australia…
Phil: Oh crap!
Skreeech
Phil swerves the car back to the left-hand side of the road.
Phil: got bloody used to driving in the Americas…
To be continued…
