Ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, welcome to Bad Cheese! As you may or may not now, I am King Snarf, the cornerstone of this company and, quite frankly, the single most entertaining sumbitch in RDCW today! Tonight, I get another shot at the IC title in a Chained Fury match! I am eagerly looking forward to this for two reasons. First, Joe Mama, after having hit me with an El Camino, has refused my challenge of a match, saying I have nothing to offer him. Well, when I win tonight and become the new IC champ, I'm willing to bet that he might change his toon. The other reason I'm excited is it gives me the opportunity to beat the living hell out of my biggest fan, Nowhereman. Even though he idolizes me (and I can't say I blame him), I don't much cotton to the way he handles himself as co-General Manager. He has used his power and influence to bring himself glory. He has conned his way into not one, but two championships! He makes matches for the sole purpose of fueling his twisted ego, when he should be making matches to satisfy you, the fans of RDCW! *pause for cheap pop* Now, many of you might think that this is just an act, that when he goes home he's a regular Joe like you or me. Well, not too long ago, I handcuffed myself to Nowhereman, and let me tell you, he's an even bigger freak at home! He listens to Yanni, his favorite movie Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, and, though I can't quite verify (it's too horrible a secret to delve further) I have reason to believe that he had phone sex with LLance! Well, his egomaniacal shenanigans end tonight! Chained Fury! Nowhereman! King Snarf! Blood, mayhem, and perhaps a delightful beverage after I win! Tonight! King Snarf has spoken!
